Any mums in 40's ttc?

@FluorescentAdolesent ooooooh that’s exciting 😬🙏💓

I’ve used the clear blue advanced tests for the last two months, although the first month only had a flashing smiley so this time was my first with the static which was 8 days ago. My cycles are on average 25 days so I think I must be due to test on Christmas Day

@kalidasa hi yes that’s exciting I am due to ov Friday according to flo and got a flashing smiley 2 days ago but run out of sticks and refuse to waste money on them anymore so just dtd every other day for a week and then wait and see. I’m relaxed about it and just see what happens x

Hello @FluorescentAdolesent ! I'm coming up to ovulation now in this cycle, lots of signs of fertility for a few days now but I often have long cycles with quite a long period of being apparently 'about to ovulate' so I reckon it'll be any time between tomorrow (CD13) and Christmas. It was CD20 last cycle, but the fertile signs started a good bit later. Sounds like we're at about the same point @Idreamof2more ?

Hello everyone
Can I join in please
I was 43 in October and have been actively ttc since then.

Hi ladies, ovulation in 5 days. How is everyone doing ? X

How are you feeling now @timeforanother1 ? I suppose it's still a bit early for you to test.

I started bleeding very heavily and abruptly yesterday, not at all how my period usually starts (I usually have a few days of spotting) and a lot more painful than usual too. Given how unwell I was feeling I suspect it was a false start / tried-to-implant situation, but I didn't actually test as I didn't see what that would add really, the sickness and dizziness started to ease immediately and has already nearly gone. Bit sad of course but also feel philosophical about it -- there were pros and cons to the timing and I'm mostly just still really happy that DH has agreed to try at all. So onwards to this month for me, and enjoying feeling better physically and not having to face Christmas while really ill (as the HG would definitely have fully kicked in by then if I was pregnant).

@timeforanother1 I held off testing for a bit but then felt like I was experiencing symptoms so tested. Got a negative and AF arrived today like clockwork. Not sure if I will try again next month. It hurts me too much every time.

@Feminmister I also conceived accidently in lockdown and had a miscarriage. We DTD ONE TIME! But now I'm actively trying and it's not happening. So frustrating.

Feel like I need to accept it won't happen and give up trying. That hurts my heart to even write that.

Hello @Feminmister I know just what you mean about work stuff. I knew I wanted another as soon as I had DS2 but DH didn't so I threw myself into a series of projects to try to distract myself, last of which was a big book I finished in the summer. But then I was still left with this longing for another baby and to step back from work / do more creative stuff for a while and it seemed like at 40 I had to confront it. I can also imagine throwing myself into a new project though if it doesn't work out. Fingers crossed for you and sorry about your miscarriage.

Can I join this thread? I am 42 and TTC number 4. I have three older kids and was done. Then I accidentally conceived in lockdown 1 and was surprisingly pleased, then I experienced a missed miscarriage.

We have tried for 4 months since the miscarriage. I am 2 dpo now. This is the last month we will try, if I’m not pregnant I will go for a big promotion at work the deadline for which is one day after my period is due! If I get that promotion I will throw myself into that and forget about another baby. If I’m pregnant I will throw myself into that and forget about being a career woman for a while.

So I just want a bit of company for my aged ovaries in our last ever 2ww.

@timeforanother1 things have gone a bit weird here as my (v. elderly) father was admitted urgently to hospital yesterday with heart issues, so I've had to dash up to be with my (also elderly and currently very frail) Mum. Booked myself in for an 8am rapid Covid test in central London first to be on the safe side and then a long drive in the pouring rain on very little sleep. Trying to catch up quickly now with some of the work I should have been doing today! I do have some internet cheap tests at home but I didn't bring them with me as I just felt I needed to focus on one thing at a time if you know what I mean. The nausea is not too bad maybe about the same as DS1 at this stage, better than with DS2 but I am noticeably dizzy and absolutely no sign of my period at all, not a single spot so far which is unusual for me at this point. So honestly I think I probably am but feel that I need to kind of park that possibility for a few days! Hope that makes sense. How are you feeling?

Hi @timeforanother1 I'm about 11dpo now and am feeling pretty unwell, it's up and down though. Yesterday and the day before I felt absolutely awful and was 95% sure I was pregnant as it is such a distinctive feeling (and I was really ill by the time I missed my period with both DCs too). Today I still feel queasy and dizzy but had a better night's sleep and feel much less unwell so not so sure. On balance I think it's v. likely that I conceived this cycle but obviously lots of conceptions don't implant successfully or fail early on, especially when you're on the older side. Not sure whether to test or not. Maybe better to wait a few more days and see how I feel. Bit of a weird zone -- because I get so ill so quickly when pregnant, I'm feeling this week that I have to prepare for that possibility work-wise, while at the same time knowing it might well come to nothing.

As for symptoms at 2dpo honestly I have felt different from about that point with all my 'conception' cycles (had two early v. early losses before DS1 as well), so personally I think it is possible to sense something before implantation though obviously when you're TTC it's also so easy to imagine/bring on/notice symptoms you otherwise wouldn't by obsessing about them!

@timeforanother1 Being relaxed about it is the best way I think. Good on you for achieving that! AF due in 7 days. I'm trying to be relaxed about it but struggling a bit. I have to find the will power to avoid testing early. This is the hardest week! Any tips?

Hi @timeforanother1 Well I'm not 100% sure when I ovulated because there was one rogue temp - think it was last Friday but could have been Wednesday. I also didn't want to put DH under too much pressure because he has quite mixed feelings about the whole enterprise! But whenever the ovulation was we definitely had two attempts within the fertile window yes. We'll see -- I'm conscious that I'm a lot older now and also that we probably "tried" harder/more often before, especially with DS1 when we weren't knackered from having a baby already.

Hello. I'm about 5dpo I think in my first cycle - only had my coil taken out a couple of weeks ago. I didn't use OPKs either because I never have, though did temp just for a few days to confirm I'd ovulated.

Also @FeatherInTheBreeze in terms of giving up - I said definitely Christmas definitely. I've done on longer than I thought but now I'm thinking Easter.

There will come a point where I'll need to give up.

I keep thinking more time and money to study and progress career, I'll be able to travel again trying to think up all the positive things every time I get a negative test

Good luck @FeatherInTheBreeze it only takes one egg!

I know it's hard to keep positive at times. I keep reading blogs about getting pregnant at 40 and why aren't you getting pregnant etc and trying to figure out what's going on. I'm taking the supplements, doing the tests, dtd when I should, cut back on caffeine no alcohol and trying to eat healthier. I've tried to get less stressed this month as that can affect it so I don't know.

I'm picking up my blood test results from the doctors now but they said they're fine I got them done on day 21 and asked for full check. Perhaps I need a scan to check what's going on.

I'm out for this month anyway.

Onwards and upwards!

@whatever1980 I did try this month and so begins the 2 week wait. I am trying to be positive but I feel in my heart I won't get a positive. I feel a bit down about it all. I know my time is running out. This might be my last month of trying especially as my heart can't take it anymore. How do I come to terms with giving up?

@kalidasa. Thank you for asking! Think this probably isn't the right thread for me; am aware (having suffered other health problems and losses, though not to do with fertility) that the ambivalence of people who seem to have been blithely granted what other people would dearly love is very annoying and unfair.

That said, I feel rough, mostly psychologically, though also tired and starting to have a bit of nausea. Am also really not very pregnant at all, having not yet even missed a period, and though the line is a bit darker I know that the chance of miscarriage at this age is pretty high so I don't have the confidence that a baby will result that I had (a bit naively, maybe) when I was pregnant with my older two. We will see... I just pray that I'm physically up to it all.... Have also stopped taking my antidepressant because I didn't take one when I was pregnant before and am sort of scared to do anything different, and have some side effects from that (I think). Wishing you the very best of luck too (everyone) and hopefully some healthy, fairly easy pregnancies all round.

Hi @FeatherInTheBreeze you sound similar to me! I haven't tested this month but new cycle due in 2 days and cervix feels low that I just know I'm not pregnant. Husband doesn't seem bothered - he hasn't even taken the vitamins I bought him. I'm a bit fed up today want to take the afternoon off and watch tv and eat crisps

Sorry to hear that @sabtom, how frustrating for you. I am still waiting to ovulate this month (CD18) so no idea yet whether I'm in the running or not.