Any mums in 40's ttc?

Hi everyone. I'm 43 and have been TTC for about 5 year now. Have endometriosis, surgery done in 2019 which removed tissue and identified a blocked tube. Also have fibroids. Looks like everything is against me!

I was pregnant with twins last year but MC at 11 weeks. I can't remember feeling as happy as I did when I first saw the positive line coming up on the test. We hadn't been trying as assumed it wouldn't happen. The MC bleeding dragged on for months and I had surgery to resolve it which helped.

We tried last month but with Christmas we didn't do our best, lol. This month we are though. I think it it doesn't happen by Summer we will make our peace with it all.

Hi all,

Can I join? I'm a month away from turning 38 and my partner (43) and I are casually ttc. I have 3 children from a previous relationship. Up until the end of last year we were adamant my baby days were well and truly over and have even planned to enjoy some adult holidays and concentrate on my career... then we had a pregnancy "scare" …turns out my body was playing tricks on us but we were surprisingly gutted when my af arrived. So I've ditched the pill and we are just going to see what happens, if anything.

Wishing everyone all the best this year - hoping for lots of bfp's!!!

@courtrai it's so hard 😔 you are not alone in how you feel, there are so many of us for whom it would just mean everything. I try hard to focus on the nice life bit but I think we have to allow ourselves to be sad, esp when af arrives - that's always an especially sad day. I can feel v angry with my body. I wish I didn't get my hopes up every single month. I convince myself I'm pregnant every time 🙄

I'm so sad today. AF is starting and I feel like I am never going to have another. I'm 42 with 2 dc's from exh (15 & 18). DP has never had kids and has resigned himself to the fact it's not going to happen. He went through IVF with ex wife and it wasn't successful and it had a massive detrimental impact on her mental health (she's still v poorly 15 years on). Because if this he's not willing to try any interventions and I fully understand why. I just wish it would happen for us. Had mirena removed in April and nothing since. We have a great sex life and all round lovely life but I still feel a bit of a let down. Roll on next cycle ☹️

@timeforanother1 I know what your mean - the trying for a baby has made me realise how much I'd love another one. I'm about the ovulate I think (using cheap opks) so will be in the two week window soon. Been here many times now! I'm taking my vitamins and not drinking. I always have hope which is both a blessing and a curse.

@Happysbno4 I just wanted to share my experience as what you said resonated with me - I turned 43 last week and am currently almost 14 weeks pregnant, but I have 19 mo twins which were born when I was 41 under very similar circumstances to you - placental abruption at 34 weeks resulting in a crash caesarean under GA (luckily I had been kept in hospital overnight for other reasons) and a huge blood loss. All three of us almost died, and
would have done if we hadn't happened to be in hospital. Immediately after they were born I already felt the urge for another do I questioned my consultant at length about the reasons for the PA and the likelihood of it happening again during my debrief, and he was very reassuring. The chances of another PA are only very slightly more than they are for a woman who has never had one (about 3%) and it's not age related - literally just one of those unlucky things. It's true that as this pregnancy progresses what happened plays on my mind more often, but my midwives have assured me that there's lots that can be done to keep an eye on things later on, e.g. Weekly monitoring and extra scans. They've also offered me a referral back to the perinatal mental health team who gave me treatment for PTSD should I require it. Hope this helps you 😊

Good luck to all of you - I've found being a new FTM in my forties an amazing experience (taking covid out of the equation at least)!

Hi all, just wondered how everyone was doing this new year? I'm 41, TTC no. 2 for a while, one mc 18m ago, nothing since. Just having the blood tests now to see if there's any hope! I think I'd rather just know so that I can come to terms with never having a second child. I feel extremely fortunate to have my lovely dd , now 12. I'm a bit over the monthly rollercoaster. It's emotionally painful and keeps me in a kind of limbo. I hope you are all ok.

@Tiletiletile1 TTC for about 8 months after miscarriage at about 13 weeks earlier this year. Due to my age I don't think I would have any tests. I told myself I would stop TTC in a few months time.

I’m trying ttc my third. 7 dpo xx

FeatherInTheBreeze thank you!

I only had the tests the nhs was willing to do, considering it’s secondary for me and my age etc. So blood tests at day 3 and 26 (If I’ve got those days right!) and then a scan to make sure no fibroids etc in the way. I wanted to know either way - even though we weren’t going to go for fertility treatment.

How long have you been TTC?

@Tiletiletile1 Hopefully with some changes his count goes up enough to make it happen for you. We've not had any tests and I do wonder why we haven't conceived this time.

Thank you, FeatherInTheBreeze! His sperm count is unusually low so the doctor is retesting in three months. He doesn’t smoke at all, or drink particularly much, but he isn’t very active (a dog walk a day is it) so becoming less sedentary (he has a very sedentary job!) and supplements seem to be the only changes that apply to him? He is sort of willing. But he doesn’t much want to change. It’s frustrating! And I have to work hard to have no negative thoughts (he’s watched me feel sad every month for two years - and go through every scan and blood test the nhs was willing to do - and only just got himself tested, despite me asking him to intermittently).

Welcome @Tiletiletile1. Fingers crossed for you! I don't know much about low sperm count. Is there anything you can do to help your chances?

Can I join?!

TTC for 2 ish years. Conceived right away with DS - so this is secondary infertility.

I have been completely checked out and “fine”, but discovered last week that DH has a low sperm count (2million) so that’s why it hasn’t happened for us yet this time. I’ve recently turned 40.

I am still TTC despite the odds being against me! Just can’t shut that door yet.

Good luck to all those testing and here’s hoping for BFPs!

@FluorescentAdolesent sorry this wasn't your month.

@timeforanother1 I think I will test early next week. Don't want to test too soon and get disappointed.

Hey I will be testing a week tomorrow at 14 dpo! Come on guys let’s light up this feed with positives xxx

Yes would be lovely to hear of some positive news
I’m out for this month as AF arrived this morning
Fingers crossed for everyone else and merry Christmas

How is everyone getting on? Wouldn't it be lovely for some positives on the thread!

I decided to try again this month. Even though my heart still hurts I started feeling a bit more positive after my negative last month.

I'm currently 7 dpo. Going to spend the next week building my resilience just in case.

Please bear with me whilst I get my head around posting on here I’m a bit of a technophobe tbh!!

I’ve been using the period tracker app and it doesn’t seem to tally up with ovulation dates yet but I suppose it could take a while to get into synch with my cycle.

I’ve been having some pre menstrual symptoms for the last 24 hours which sort of ties in with my usual cycle so I’m not feeling very positive that we’ve been lucky this month.

I’m going to give myself until
April and then call it a day

Hello

Yes I have four much older dcs