TTC 8 months in, still early days but starting to feel more and more every time AF arrives

Sorry that was long! 🤣 get carried away xx

@JeanieJ hi lovely! Sorry to hear you’re still with us on this journey :( I haven’t had a HSG, but that’s amazing you’re heading in the right direction for your little baby. My private fertility clinic has recommended one if my bloods come back low again next month. I hear it can be a little bit of discomfort BUT, just think how amazing it’ll be if that works and you get your BFP🤍🤞🏼

@Lovebug06 I absolutely love that too! We move at our own steady pace haha. I can’t keep up with the busy threads I love reading them for advice but I struggle to have input so often! So mine was called the “natural fertility partnership” I live in the east now, so I’m sure other areas may have one but honestly was soooo lovely. I feel like a new woman already 😂 follow up appointments are £65, but I’m on a waiting list. They’re all about remedies to conceiving naturally. But they do also support IVF etc. The lady herself took 2 years TTC and she’s so passionate about it I love it! Oh honestly me too, I used to imagine myself with a bump, the nursery everything!!! Now I’m like, ok am I just not ever meant to be pregnant? :( it’s so sad. And really upsets me that all these girls can have one night stands and get pregnant! How’s that a thing????? :( 2021 is going to be our year one way or another!! Oh definitely. I’ve confined in friends before and I get “just relax” “everything happens for a reason” every time. But they don’t understand!!! We’re taught our entire lives if we don’t use protection we’ll fall pregnant. We’ve now all created a perfect family environment and now waiting years to get pregnant! It’s so unfair. I also hate thinking of my age too, again were young but I also thought I’d be early / mid twenties when I had my first! You’re also a step mum like me, and i hate saying it but it’s almost more sad? Seeing your DH be an amazing dad and thinking wow ok are we not meant to have that together / it must be me with the issue. It’s hard!! BUT, sending you all the positivity for this month, extra EWCM = more DTD😍 this could be your month girl!!

@CausingChaos2 honestly recommend it lovely. Even just a weekend away, or something to look forward to! It really helps 🤍 we’re all going to get our BFPs this year, I’m feeling positive for us all!!!! (Until I get AF🤣) xx

@CausingChaos2 yeah that's what my doc said too - thanks! ☺️ I can see online it's really varied

@Lovebug06 glad you're feeling less stressed on the OPK. I'm actually taking some time off temping for a while as it was only getting me down, and I don't always use OPKs.

Know how you feel about friends being pregnant. I'm currently organising my best friends baby shower - she started trying a bit before me and is 8 months pregnant now. I thought I was fine until our pals who can't come started posting baby gifts to me as a surprise to her- I have to wrap them! It's pretty upsetting 😐

I'm on cycle 10 now and am 33. Trying to stay optimistic, but this month has been the hardest. I've been really tearful in general and irritable with DH.

Sending baby dust to everyone 😘

Thank you Izzie94 and I love your idea of booking a holiday. Very excited for you. You’re so right about not putting things off. It’s easy to put our lives on hold hoping that we’ll be pregnant/ have a newborn, but we miss out on doing lovely things in the meantime.

Jeanie I haven’t had this done but from what I’ve read online it can be quite painful so worth taking some painkillers beforehand and maybe the day off work.

Lovebug06 Thank you and sending love back to you yesterday was my tearful wreck day! Like you say, am feeling a little better today and a bit more logical but it’s such a hard slog. I hope you are okay too. EWCM is a great sign. It’s lovely that we are all here to support each other without the pressure of constantly posting on the thread.

@JeanieJ sorry I missed your message. Im no use to you but interested to hear this as I think I'll be there soon (cycle 16)
Hope your okay and someone can help you on here ❤️

Hi everyone,
I love this thread, we all go quiet but always come back together again and support each other.

@Izzie94 I'm glad your feeling positive. Your consultation was free? Do I just look up a private fertility clinic? Sorry I have no idea on these things. I'm so glad your feeling better though.
I can't even imagine getting pregnant. I just can't see it. I truly don't get how people just get pregnant after a one night stand or something. How is it that easy? I never realised how hard it can be. I don't think it is spoken about enough really. I agree it has also affected me mentally more than I ever thought, and it's not something others understand at all, so I find talking to people can actually make me feel worse. These threads are my lifeline when I feel down about this. I am cycle 16 too. I had thought a few months was a long time, I laugh to myself how silly I was 🤣
I am 28 and will be 29 when I have a baby if I got pregnant now. I can't believe I may not be a mum until my 30s, nothing wrong with that obviously but I always said as a teenager I'd have one in my early 20s! I thought it would just be so easy.
@CausingChaos2 sending you so much love ❤️ your message has got me because it sounds exactly like me when AF comes, I just feel like I can't do it to myself anymore. But after a few days I feel better. I hope you are feeling a bit better today, or soon. Look after yourself. This journey is so hard. X
@acaciabluebell I can't understand how people do it one time and get pregnant. I'm like how?! I need tips because clearly I'm going wrong here so bloody unfair isn't it.
@sparkylauz I get it about your friends. I just can't be around pregnant friends or I find it SO hard. Then I feel terribly guilty so I feel even worse. I'm happy for them but it's so hard when they have what you so badly want. I find it hard to plaster a smile on and do the whole excited bit, but if I don't do that I'll look horrible so I'm unsure if it's best to meet them or not. I think true friends will understand but others just won't.
I also keep imagining what will I do if I don't have kids. I just can't take the thought at the moment though. DH has children already and I love them very much but I'm unsure if that would make it better or worse if I couldn't have my own. Hope your feeling okay today xx

So news for me is I started up opks again. I stopped last summer due to the stress but dh convinced me to try again so here we are. Actually feel less stressed than expected. Cd11 today and had loads of Ewcm last night. More than I've ever had. Sorry tmi. But hoping this is a good thing. Using pre seed. Didn't work last month but you never know I guess. I'm in the positive phase of the month and feeling pretty chilled, but that'll soon change when I'm waiting for AF in a couple of weeks🤣

Sending you all love. This thread hasn't had many BFPs but we will get there girls x

Hi Ladies,

Hope everyone's doing ok 💕

I just had my first consultation with the fertility clinic & am being sent for more tests now - including HSG - but can't book that until I'm on day 1 of next cycle.
Has anyone had one of these? I'm a little bit scared 😟

Xx

@SparkyLauz I do use OPKs and I’ve always got a positive. It may be that my bloods taken in July were a little out of whack and an odd cycle! So I’ll let you know when I next get my bloods done (it will be May now as I wanted day 2 done the same month) I did spot before AF for 4 months in a row but then I stopped spotting! I did speak to my sister who has 5 babies (inside i’m jealous haha!) and her periods are only ever 2-4 days depending on the month. So maybe I’m looking too much into it! I just started taking ubiniquol which is meant to help egg quality. I read Luisa Zuismans maybe baby! I’ve also got a follow up with the private clinic, so I’ll again share results ☺️ If I can help some of yous too that would be lovely.

@CausingChaos2 oh I am so sorry you’re feeling like that :( it comes in waves for me, and I too can’t imagine ever falling pregnant now. But I’m really trying to see mind over matter. I have a few friends that gave up trying and fell, not saying that works because I’ve tried it!! But DH and I have booked a holiday to Mexico for next April (let’s hope covid allows!) instead of keep putting stuff on hold in case we’re pregnant. And honestly it’s made me feel so much better🤍 instead of thinking baby constantly I’m thinking of getting fit and in shape to be in a bikini lol.

I do really recommend a free consultation if you find somewhere online, the lady I spoke to has 15 years of fertility experience and guides women for natural fertility and IVF. She also recommended acupuncture can really help. I didn’t realise TTC would be so difficult and hard on my mental health. I was also advised OPKS can be a little useless as you know we get LH surges throughout our cycle, it doesn’t guarantee we’ve ovulated. She also said tracking cervical mucus is so important and seeing those changes. I haven’t seen EWCM for a couple months now so I’m wondering if my hormones are a bit out of whack xx

Thank you Lauz 💐 you’re right, I do feel completely worn out from it all. It’s so hard isn’t it? It doesn’t sound awful at all about your friends, I would delay seeing them, use worries about covid if need be.

Completely understand about the tests - once we know we can either do something about it or come to some sort of acceptance. It’s this limbo land in the middle that’s really tough.

I really hope this is your month Lauz and sorry for not catching up on the whole thread before posting xx

@CausingChaos2 it sounds like you are at rock bottom with it. Maybe just take a few months off and focus on yourself, make some plans with friends /family go to a bottomless brunch or out for some nice meals with cocktails and take your mind off it completely. Xx

@causingchaos2 sending virtual hugs I feel exactly the same, sorry that AF is back again. I'm on the slow ride up the rollercoaster in TWW but not even getting hopes up this time. I just want to get all my tests done NOW so I can know if there is something that's stopping me from getting pg and something can be done about it.
Me and DH already planning our future if we don't have children in it which is crazy, and my 2 friends who got pg during lockdown are wanting to meet up in the near future now restrictions are easing, it sounds so awful, as happy as I am for them I don't want to see them it's just going to make me feel worse.

I haven’t read through everyone’s replies so sorry for my general message to all but it’s just so shit that none of us have had any luck recently.

My period has come today and I’m so upset/ fed up this month. Sick of my body not doing the most simple thing it is meant to do. 😭 Honestly feel like it will never happen now so I may as well give up rather than put myself through this rollercoaster any longer.

Hi @Izzie94 I'm good thanks. 3DPO followed smep to a tee this month so fingers crossed this is it haha.

Thanks for the info that's good to know. So when the lady said she doesn't think you ovulated did you get a positive OPK that month? Do you use OPKs? I use them and always get a positive around the same time each month so I take it that I've ovulated... I have 24/25 day cycles and periods last 2 days (never ever any longer) and always spotting a few days either side. Is this similar for you?

Hey ladies!

How are you all?

Thought I’d give you an update which may help some of you- I spoke to a fertility specialist last week, she was LOVELY. And if you do have someone near you that can give you a free consultation, I HIGHLY recommend it. I learnt more from her than my doctors. She went through my previous blood results and thinks my progesterone is very low. She doesn’t think I ovulated that cycle (it was 30.2) although from the doctors perspective 30 is the cut off to show you did, as a specialist she likes to see that a lot higher for a healthy egg and for pregnancy to occur. She’s recommended I go back to my doctor for day 2 or 3 tests and another 21 (she’d like to see this done for 3 months in a row but said the doctors may not allow that). I called my doctor and I got through to a lovely lady (I had a man before) who’s a little more clued up in fertility and has also said my previous results are very low!! So looks like I may no be ovulating, but getting a period (only 2 days) every month. Which is possible. I don’t want to frighten any of you, but I feel so much Happier I may be getting answers!!

Happy Friday girls xx

@Izzie94 completely relate to you. It's absolutely depressing especially when so many people (even on TTC boards) casually say things like "oh I had my first child so easily but I was in my 20s then" makes me feel so abnormal for struggling at this age.

I got Nutravita Ubiquinol 200mg (120 pills, so a 4 month supply) from Amazon, it was a little bit pricey tbh but it was an impulse buy on my part 😂 Ubiquinol is like an enhanced version of COQ10, more easily absorbed in the body or something. This is my first proper month taking it, you need to take it for a few months for it to have an effect.

Ahh urgh I know GPs can be annoying like that as they have strict criteria about so many things. If they absolutely refuse to order a semen analysis for him maybe you could look into getting it tested privately? Sperm quality can change over time, due to age and lifestyle but also just randomly. In fact I have a friend whose husband got her pregnant when they were in their teens, but he now (late 20s) has got a condition called azoospermia where he has absolutely no sperm at all, which they only realised after TTC for 2 years. Obvs that's very rare and I don't mean to scare you, I just think it's important to get checked, both male and female to make sure things are all good.

@acaciabluebell isn’t it horrible thinking of it like that! I hate when people say you’re still young etc. Yes, I know but I wanted a baby when I was ready last year!! 😩 going to be 30 this rate, which again is fine but I really wanted to be mid twenties. Ugh.

Oh my god, I was looking this morning at new prenatal to take! I was looking at Luisa Zuismans Instagram and she recommends COQ10. What brand did you go for? I’m definitely investing! And I might try soy isoflavones too! I think I ovulate but I don’t temp so I can’t guarantee it! Isn’t it annoying that we’re in our “prime” fertility and yet we’re trying all we can and I have girl mates who have an “accident” and fall first time. Pffft whatevr 😩

Oh really? That’s so interesting!!! My doctors weren’t interested as he has a son already but like we even said that could have been some serious luck!!! I think he’s getting more concerned it’s him and I feel bad because I blamed myself for ages :( I know it’s normal to take healthy couples 2 years but I can’t help but resent people now who conceive quickly! Xx

@Izzie94 I completely relate 😣 I was 24 when I started and never thought I would be in this position, well on my way to 26 now. It's so frustrating. Sometimes I just want to scream!!! Ughh..

So instead of screaming (lol) I'm channeling my energy into taking a gazillion supplements. This month I started Soy Isoflavones which is a natural Clomid. I think I have trouble ovulating each month so I thought that maybe it could help. I'm also taking tons of vitamins, CoQ10 for egg quality and Evening Primrose Oil to help with cm as I don't have much ewcm these days. God I hope this works because downing 18 pills a day isn't fun!

Also, I would definitely recommend getting your DH tested if you haven't already. MFI accounts for like 40-50% of all infertility. In our case we recently found out my DH has only 2% normal sperm morphology which could be one of the reasons why haven conceived yet.

@SparkyLauz it absolutely sucks doesn’t it! I can’t imagine what it feels like getting partly excited to then have it taken away from you. I think that’s worse than just getting AF on time :( I started CD1 today, feeling a little sad. No 2020 baby and now no 2021 baby. Just feels crazy to say we started trying / came off contraceptive January 2020!!! I was 25, but I’ll be 27 soon. Yet my best friend start trying the same as me and her baby is 6 months old. It really feels completely unfair. We’re having this month off as due to family birthdays, January isn’t a good month for us! :(

@acaciabluebell so so sorry you’re still here too lovely. Seems we’re all long term ttc’ers now - which I never thought I’d be at 25/26!! I really need some motivation and something just to make me feel like it’s going to happen!! I do too feel like my body is broken, like come onnnnn. How do you not know what to do body :(

Hope you’re all spending your Easter Sunday consuming lots of chocolate eggs, hot cross buns and maybe even gin at this rate LOL.

I previously paid £150 for fertility testing for myself. I think me and DH are going to go for the £400 ones, which test him too and me in more depth just to help us relax. Maybe it’ll work! I’ll let you guys know what it involves if I get round to booking it in the week x

Hi everyone. I'm on CD5, just started cycle number 14. Feeling so so so demotivated and tired about all of this now. It just feels like my body is broken. 14 cycles of doing everything literally perfectly, timing everything right and drowning in vitamins and supplements, and nothing! And yet some people get pregnant by accident from having sex ONE TIME without even thinking. Seems so unbelievable

Hi Izzie, sorry to hear you're also feeling the same as us. I was a bit silly with the testing last month and used a cheap clearblue a few days after AF 'just in case it wasn't a proper period' ....well anyway a clear cross came up which I thought may be an evap line , but still sort of got my hopes up and had to buy some FRERs on amazon same day delivery to double check! Obvs turned out to be bfn, but I had a slight glimpse of what a positive might feel like it made me feel so fuzzy and warm inside and i want sooo bad to feel that for real next time. We really all need a big boost!!

You're totally not out yet this month BTW!!

I'm glad your SIL apologised and understands a little on how you must be feeling. But yeah it really does sound like it's down to pot luck!

Hey ladies!

Sorry to hear we’ve had zero good news yet 🥺 I’m CD33, AF due Monday. I started feeling really hopeful, we timed DTD PERFECTLY, had some milky cm from about 5dpo to 10dpo (which is different for me!) but then I got my usual sore boobs and they didn’t feel AS sore this morning so, counting myself out already.

Will be going onto cycle 16, and my god it doesn’t get easier. Does anyone else try and stay positive BUT can’t ever imagine getting those two lines??? 😩 it really sucks. I don’t even care if it takes another 8 months, I’m just praying now it happens naturally and we don’t have to fork out 10k on IVF and all those hormones pumped into you :(

Hope you’re all doing ok, seems like we’re all feeling as fed up as each other!

I found out my SIL wasn’t pregnant. So that’s month 6 now for her, her first 2 she fell the first month so she’s struggling now and did reach out to me to apologise which was lovely. But it did make me realise how pot luck it is!! Xx

@lovebug06 how are you this weekend? The start of the next cycle is the worst part isn't it. I totally feel your pain. Its getting harder and harder now. Never thought I would ever be in this position, I know 12 months doesn't seem that long but 14 cycles of this rollarcoaster of a ride now added 2 close friends who are pregnant who started trying after us it makes it so much harder.

I think I'm just entering FW now at CD11, started with the OPKs again today xx

@sparkylauz the same has happened to me, AF has shown. Its also never late for me. I guess my post pill acne has decided to come back just to make me feel even worse! DH even got excited and went out and got me a test last night. I decided I'd wait till the morning but it wasn't to be. I'm glad I didn't test yesterday and waste it, the negative would have made me worse. The lateness and the spots did give me hope inside, I know on these threads I always say it won't happen, it's because I can't bear to get excited anymore, because of times like this. I feel such a fool, sometimes I wonder why I'm putting myself through this heartache. I'll let myself feel like this today and I won't feel bad for it, tommorow is a new day after all.

That's good to know about the fertility clinic, I guess I better try and get onto that myself very soon then if there's a wait. I'm glad your feeling okay and positive. I hope my post doesn't make you feel bad, I'm sure in a few days I'll be feeling better and like you are too!

@Lovebug06 Sounds promising for you being late eeeek, fingers crossed this is it. Get yourself a frer and give us all some good news!! Xx

Aww glad to see all 3 babies are doing well on here!!

I was 2 days late this month thats never happened to me before I was convinced it was the month, but AF came last Weds, so cruel!
I've just had another close friend announce she's 8 weeks, she started trying around same time as me too so it took her a bit longer, she said she was scared to tell me bless her. Trying SMEP this month as not done this before yet.

Spoke to fertility clinic and they are 3 months behind because of covid so we won't even get the initial consultation until around June which kind of sucks. Its such a rollercoaster of a ride this journey but I'm feeling OK. Glad for some nice weather and things are looking better on the lockdown front too so feeling a bit more positive

Xx