TTC 8 months in, still early days but starting to feel more and more every time AF arrives

Thanks for the reply ladies I'm so sorry it's took so long. With my first I hadn't tried so like yourselves I just expected it to happen by now.
I think because you build yourself up for it to happen quicker then the longer it goes on you get so disappointed?
Is there anything you haven't tried yet ladies? We have tried SMEP / everyday but nothing seems to be working yet. My partner Paul is getting quite worked up because he thinks it's him. Luckily he has a sperm check this month which we're lucky they have done so quickly. But he just needs peace of mind as I think that's putting pressure him thinking it's him.

The spotting is so annoying. It basically rules me out before I even get to 12dpo. I always think could it be implantation but never is. We have been using pregnacare vitamins since January and this month we tried conceive plus also but hasn't worked xxx

@laurenxx94 oh and I'm similar to you I start spotting too sometimes upto a week before AF is due. My AF is only ever 2 full days and my cycles are about 25 days long

@lovebug06 I think it's basically the same as pre seed? Says it mimics the fertile fluids to help the sperm. I've got loads of fertility crystals in and around the bedroom now too. I will try anything at this stage. I know what you mean about the cycles becoming normal life now! Now lockdown is easing i find myself planning certain things around when I guess where ile be in my cycle e.g if I know I'm in TWW to not plan any heavy drinking activities and so on. So thats becoming a bit of silly thing I've got into these days. Can't help but switch that mindset off though!

@laurenxx94 hi welcome to the group! I am TTC my first currently on cycle 15 although this is month 12. Saturday will mark 1 year since this rollarcoaster of a journey began 😥 I really didn't expect us all to still be here there's only been 2 bpfs since this thread began its so sad xx

@sparkylauz I just want DH sample results to hurry up so I can get onto the clinic referral! I have tried pre seed twice, did read many good reviews. I've not used conceive plus so I really hope it works!
I find the whole thing a drag now it's like TTC has just become normal life!
@laurenxx94 welcome!
Its crap when you know it's coming xx
I am now on cycle 17, this is my first and have had no hint of a Bfp. Dh has dc already but GP has said it makes no difference could be him, especially as its a few years ago now. Unlikely though.
Had the bloods, came back fine, awaiting DHs sperm anaylis results then it'll be fertility clinic for us.

Hi ladies, I’m Lauren.
I really hope you don’t mind me joining I can see your thread started a while ago.
I’ve been TTC for 7 months going into 8th after AF arrive come this week.
I haven’t had a chance to read all your posts but il tell you a bit about my background

I have a 5 year old daughter with a previous partner and me and my current partner are ttc.
Every single month I get spotting from about 6/7 dpo right up until AF arrived. It just makes me know that I’m out that month.
I’m due AF on Friday so just a waiting game as my spotting started 2 days ago.

Can you tell me a bit about your backgrounds?

@Lovebug06 I feel that heartache too. You're definitely not alone! I think we are all around the same point now just starting to go for investigations and things so it's comforting knowing what it's like going through this. I'm on cycle 15 now still not heard from the fertility clinic but they said it might be June so just waiting it out.
I bought conceive plus fertility lube today as read so many good reviews I've never used anything like this before and I'm absolutely convinced my CM is attacking any sperm so I'm hoping this will help the sperm on its way hehe. Currently CD8 so will be getting back to it all again this week /end this last cycle has really dragged though. X

@CausingChaos2 thankyou, I was a bit of a mess but I'm okay now. We haven't had much luck on this thread have we! Hopefully we will in the next few months.
Its great you had a good weekend and that your feeling good. I really hope your AF doesn't come, fingers crossed. If it does, I hope it's not too bad for you, but we will be here for you. Please let us know how it goes.

Oh Lovebug sending you a virtual hug and hope you’ve managed to look after yourself today, or even better that DH has done it for you. It is a physical pain - you are so right. I really do hope we all get the news we need (whether it just happens or we need some help) very soon, and that once we’ve got our little ones all these worries and hurt melt away into distant memories. We will cherish it all the more when we have our babies.

Our friend got married this weekend so we had a lovely time and like you were, I’m 7dpo and feeling pretty good. Not expecting a BFP this month but just feeling content. I know none of that will be any comfort with AF arrives in a week. It’s so tough, just know that you are far from alone

AF has arrived so cycle 17 now.
I've been positive. Had other good news which meant I felt good and had my mind on other things even yesterday and most of today. Haven't been anxious like normal, it's been great. But it made no difference to how awful I felt when it came and how I feel now. I know ill be fine tommorow. But right now I feel like my heart is physically hurting. The pain of ttc when it's just not happening after so long is just awful.

@sparkylauz oh no. Of all the days to arrive as well! That is crap. Hope your feeling a bit better now.
That doesn't sound good, although glad they know and are treating it.
So you are near the start of your cycle then, I'm near the end of mine, can't believe how quickly this one has gone, it's so odd I feel like even the TWW has flown. Yet now I'm 11dpo and it is now dragging.....

Hi @Lovebug06 not bad thanks. AF came on my birthday what a lovely surprise. NOT!
I've been treated for another BV infection which is shit, they swabbed me and waiting for results, they said my cervix was very red and inflamed, hoping its just BV and nothing else. So concentrating on getting those bits back in good health before TTC again, hopefully it will be cleared up before FW again in a few weeks xx

@Msd2416 you had positive tests? That's sounds great.
My friend felt her AF coming in both her pregnancies but it never did come, she said it felt exactly the same. So fingers crossed for you for good news!
I'm the same as you. Had bloods done. Was months ago though, DH finally getting his SA done. Then I guess referral to fertility clinic.
Yeah I'm okay, I can feel a bit of anxiety setting in now it's close. My anxiety is because I get such dread at how bad I am going to feel when AF comes. I just can't even imagine it happening now, so I just dread the heartbreak. And just hope maybe one day I'll be surprised... But the longer times goes on the less likely I feel that could happen.
TTC is so hard. People just don't understand. When I have tried to talk to someone they don't get it and I've then felt worse and wish I hadn't bothered! Whereas on these threads people really do understand. X

@Lovebug06 Im the same hun. Always take time off a month then the waiting etc kills me so i findd comfort on these chats. Had multiple positive tests over the weekend but i feel like AF is coming.

DH has sperm analysis last week so waiting on results too. Ive only had bloods done so far so waiiting for next steps from the doctors.

Noone ever tells you how hard this can be. Hope youre okay lovely

Hello how is everyone?

I've just caught up on this thread. I find after AF I usually have some time out of reading on all the baby threads. I dip in and out but I am usually on them when I'm wsiitng for AF and when it comes. Maybe for support from those who understand the heartbreak?

11dpo here. Cycle 16 has weirdly flown by.
DH sperm analysis tommorow finally.
I gather whatever the results I can be referred to a clinic due to how long it's taking? I hope so anyway.

It’s so frustrating isn’t it acacia ? The inefficiency and cost of it all too. Not to mention some of the tests aren’t the most pleasant. Looks like we’ll be waiting until at least after summer before getting seen then? Sigh!

How is everyone getting on? I’m CD9 and have had peak fertility on clear blue this morning. I have short cycles but this is still a couple of days early for me. We DTD on CD6, and today, but feel like the ship has already sailed this month now!

@CausingChaos2 Yep exactly that, I had to do quite a few tests. I struggled to book some of the blood tests due to my period being late etc, and also had an appointment cancelled in December. So I did most of my tests in Jan and Feb. And we had a 2 month wait for a semen analysis appointment.

Also: I have the same fear as you! Ugh I'm gonna be so freaking pissed if they make us do the tests all over again. But I'm pretty certain that's what's gonna happen tbh 🙄 I've been told it's a 3-4 month wait for the clinic, plus wait just to get referred... nightmare

acaciabluebell What a coincidence! I’d definitely give your GP a call to chase it up. Hopefully yours has been sent off. Was the delay from December until referral due to them doing tests? I feel like I’ve had loads of tests done and by the time we get referred I’m worried they’ll be out of date.

@CausingChaos2 we seem to have exactly the same timeline! First went to GP in December and finally was told I would get my referral sent off 5/6 weeks ago but I haven't heard anything from anyone yet. I'm a bit worried that the referral hasn't even made it to the fertility clinic yet. Very frustrating!

Good luck for your FW and I admire your willpower to not track Jeanie Sending you the best positive vibes.

I’ll definitely be checking it’s been sent off this time, I first went to the GP in December last year so feels like I’ve been waiting a while just to even get referred now. I can just imagine the fertility clinic wanting to repeat some of the tests by the time we get seen. My OH will be thrilled (not) if he has to another semen analysis.

@CausingChaos2 oh no! That's so frustrating 😢
It's really pot luck with this kind of stuff. I've read some people wait ages & others get sorted in weeks. Fingers crossed it gets sorted, 🤞
For reference, I first caught up with my doc in Feb about this, so 6 weeks sounds about right. Hope you don't get delayed much longer.

@Lovebug06
On the baby shower, yeah she's my best and oldest friend - we've known each other since we were 4 & moved over to UK together, so we're each others family here. I'm genuinely excited about her baby coming - I feel like I'm going to be an auntie. However, it way harder than I thought to be organising this - it's a surprise for her.
I've had sooooooo many baby gifts come through my door from her family and friends it's driving my crazy 🤪

Just about to enter my window this weekend & this month I'm not tracking at all, so let's see how it goes 🤞

Hope everyone is ok 💕

God I’m so frustrated/ fed up. It’s been 6 weeks since I was told my fertility referral was being sent off. I chased it up today to be told that there’s been an in-house error and it actually hasn’t even been sent off from the GP practice yet 😭

Lovebug06 I’m glad you managed to get some DTD in. I definitely think (most?) men just don’t get it. Like you say we are so in tune with our bodies; timing ovulation, the TWW, AF arriving that it’s impossible for us to escape. I wish I could switch off like my OH does!

Sparky I have had BV before but I don’t get the classic odour symptom, my discharge just goes very watery (sorry TMI). It’s not surprising that you are having a flare up as the sperm will be altering your PH levels. I lie down for 15-20 mins or so after DTD then go to the toilet so it isn’t sitting in there for too long (again so sorry for TMI!). That seems to be keeping the BV at bay for now. I haven’t read about it affecting conception but believe it has been linked to miscarriage so worth getting it treated.

Thanks for the kind words girls, had a bit of a downward slump but feeling better. Hope you are all ok! Just caught up on the rest of the thread glad to see some more positive posts, we are all on such a difficult journey but its so comforting to know you're not alone.

Anyone else had BV? I've noticed a reoccurrence of it since DTD more and that worries me slightly as I used to get it a lot in my early 20s and Dr Google does not give me much hope about my fertility. So I've been worrying about that a lot recently. X

@CausingChaos2 I did used to feel guilty but now I just cry it out. I'm upset, it's taking a long time and I'm allowed to feel shit for a day. I get it out my system rather than holding it in then generally feel better the next day.
Yeah I've had that. Get really angry before with DH. It's true I feel like I do it all and he just had to dtd and when he's too knackered or busy Im just so annoyed as if he doesn't it's a whole cycle done with. He doesn't get it as obviously dtd is both of us, but I think us women take everything on as its our bodies. The tracking, the testing, the waiting, the heartbreak of AF. Which they just don't understand how stressful it is.
My opk went down last night but I think I'll do another tonight to be sure it's done. We dtd a little bit after I posted that message yesterday, I think it was done by then but you never know I guess.

Thanks Izzie94 I’m definitely going to take your advice and get something booked. I so hope you’re right and love your positivity would be great if we could all be pregnant by the end of the year!

Lovebug06 I think letting it all out is probably the better way than putting on a brave face. I feel guilty for wallowing the day AF arrived but also like I got it out of my system if that make sense?

Oh that’s definitely the downside of OPKs. You do still have a good chance but I know what you mean. I’d try to get DH to DTD with you today as well if poss. I just think the men don’t seem to get it, do they? I was saying to mine that all he has to do is DTD, but I could end up having all sorts done to me if we don’t manage to conceive. Their job is so simple by comparison!

I remember feeling actual hate for my OH on one irrational cycle when he was too tired to DTD so totally understand you feeling gutted, but honestly you’ve DTD recently enough to still be in with a chance.

@JeanieJ wow I think your amazing doing the baby shower. I actually don't think I could, I'd probably cry all the time!
@CausingChaos2 I'm glad your feeling better. I used to try and snap myself out of it and be positive now I just let myself cry all day, it's bloody gutting and so hard and now I just let it all out!
@Izzie94 she sounds lovely! I may look this up.
If I couldn't have kids, I really don't know if being with someone who has them makes it worse or better. I feel awful for this. But in one way it means you kind of get that life you crave, get to look after a child (but also some independence ad they aren't yours obviously) but then on the other hand it would feel like it would be in my face showing me constantly what I can't have. I honestly don't know how I'd cope with it myself.
I really hope it doesn't get to that though. Positive thoughts. Sometimes I just can't help it though.

So started the opks. All good this time. Until last night. Opk had shown it was my ovulation day, earlier than expected. Anyway we knew this and then DH fell asleep. He says oh just wake me up but when he is like that he will not wake up. I was fuming, I feel embarrassed but knowing it was definately the day I just stressed out and I was so mad.
We dtd the two nights before that. The night before yesterday my opk reading was actually higher. I'm hoping I still have a good chance because I feel so gutted right now