Trying to conceive baby No 1 over 40

My other half has tidied up and thrown out the plastic test but of the opk kit. I've told him how expensive it was and that he needs to fish it out the bin!! I'd admittedly left the strips in the garden and he thought it was used and to throw away!!

@Honey2 just a strip test but at 12dpo something should show anyway, I didn't think I was in with much of a chance this month anyway

Wow we are covering all corners of the UK! @Marvellouslymadmum I’ll keep my fingers crossed it’s not over yet for you! I assume you tested with an early test?

@wanderlove does she? It's a lovely area, I've lived in Kent most of my life but moved here almost 5 years ago now. I don't normally test but has a pelvic examination today so thought I best test just to make sure first

@Marvellouslymadmum it's so hard testing each month isn't it. I think each month not to get my hopes up but can't help it.

@Marvellouslymadmum my sister lives in Sussex and it's lovely!!

@Honey2 I'm good,,12dpo temp dropped a bit today 36.72 but rhr up and bfn so all confusing lol think I'm out by the bfn though as I expected anyway! I'm in East Sussex right down on the south coast

I am in the North East. I know Somerset tho as my best friend lives in Taunton and we come to see her regularly.
I got my static smiley yesterday and dtd this morning (making me late for work!) and my dp has just told me he is too tired tonight!! Hopefully he'll be in the mood tomorrow.

How is everyone this Friday? @October1979 @Marvellouslymadmum @Littlemiss40andfabulous @wanderlove

I’m now 4DPO and have 2 FRERs sat in my Amazon basket already lol 🙈

Was wondering, where abouts in the UK is everyone?? (If you are happy to say!) You chat away online and I always think it’s funny one if you could be just down the rd... I’m from Somerset 😊

@birdbybird I had my jab last week 1 dpo. My sister had her 2nd at 3 months pg 2 weeks ago. Both of us had AZ. X

@October1979
I think that is the right attitude: look into your options and be informed and then make the decisions at the time. You might not have planned donor eggs but if it gets to the time you have given yourself and it is the option left you have to weigh it up and see what feels right. I know as I get older I seem to have got less fixatated in the 'perfect' way to do things and are more pragmatic...it may not be the way you have planned or imagined but it may allow it to happen.

Thanks for your kind words @October1979. Hanging on in there.

Great your gp is being supportive. It makes a big difference. Arming yourself with information and options is the way to go. You will find your way through this.

Can I ask why ivf With your own eggs has been ruled out for you? I Am a year older and was told 15-20% chance of getting pregnant with ivf. Bearing in mind a 20 year old has a 20% chance of getting pregnant.

Are you still also trying naturally? I was also told I had a 5% chance of getting pregnant naturally. I’m pretty sure that was based on that Infamous french study from the 1800s.

Yes @Catconfusion it is puzzling on the second alright, you wonder what has happened in between. But so much is up to chance also. I think the word ‘infertility’ doesn’t help, it sounds like such a permanent thing...but you are only ‘infertile’ till you get pregnant again. It’s misleading and adds to the stress I think. You will move on and try again. But at the moment it’s time for healing and some tlc. It takes time to come to terms with what happened and gather the emotional energy again. Long cycles don’t help I’m sure. Be kind to yourself in these few weeks if you can.

Thanks @Bouncytree it’s so hard to stay positive but I’ll get there. I think secondary infertility is also a strange beast because you’re so grateful to have a child yet long for another and it just doesn’t seem right it might not happen when it’s happened before.

I’m so pleased it’s going well for you. I found this point so hard because it’s not far off when I got bad news with my first pregnancy. I think I got through it with ds by just focusing on small goals. Like getting through a morning. Each passing day improves your odds. I tried to expect good news rather than focus on what bad news might come. It’s so hard though. I hope Tuesday comes as quickly as it can and all goes well! Xx

@Catconfusion I’m so sorry. It’s exhausting and hard to feel like you can pick yourself up and start again. But you will. I hope you get some supportive care from your gp

@October1979 how are you doing? Hope your feeling ok. Did you get an update from your gp?

Week 9 here and going well so far. Very strong symptoms, wretching and nausea all day, shivers, insomnia and fatigue. As time goes on I’m getting more nervous as it feels like there is more at stake. But very Glad to be this far and past the early days. Though my last mc was 11 weeks. Booked in for a scan on tues, and consultation the following week, hopefully for NIPT. Nervous about the scan! Just hoping I can get through these 3 weeks, It’s so close but so far away!

Wishing everyone luck this cycle 🤞

@Miranda15110 that's lovely to hear, thanks for sharing

@Catconfusion I'm the same, have my second jab booked for 22nd right around Ov day 🙄

@Honey2 I think that's something that’s being looked at. I had the AZ and it made me really ill so there’s no way I’d have it in pregnancy or even if I thought I might be. Annoyingly my second jab would be just after when I think my fertile week would be. I’m going to speak to the GP so I’ll ask about the other vaccines and let you know. X

I conceived naturally at 42 after 2-3 years of trying.

If you have had your first jab as the AZ then are pregnant when it come to 2nd jab time can you ask to have the Pfizer or Moderna one??

@birdbybird I had my 1st AZ jab on CD 8 had no side effects, just a little tired. 2nd one was due 2 weeks ago but in the form it gives you a box to tick if you could be pregnant, I ticked it cause I was in my TWW and I could've potentially been pregnant. So I was advised to wait another week to make sure I wasn't (or was) and then get it done. However, because of my blood clot history I've been advised to have the Pfizer jab, and apparently the Pfizer and Moderna are the preferred jabs for pregnant women anyway.

Thanks @wanderlove it really is hard. I’m sorry to hear about your sister. It sounds like you made the best decision you could at the time with the information you had. How long have you been trying now? You still have time even though it might not feel like it right now. Xx

@catconfusion. I'm sorry to hear about your test. It is real rollercoaster of excitement and then loss. I also had a baby last year (when I was 39) and had been pretty niave thinking it would just happen again. It's been a shock to consider that it might be too late.

My sister was diagnosed with stage 3 breast cancer last year and I have to go through genetic testing to see if I carried the same gene. I didn't want to conceive with that hanging over me so waited until I got the results to ttc...but I think it may have been too long

Thank you @October1979 @Marvellouslymadmum and @Honey2
That’s really helpful!