Trying to conceive baby No 1 over 40

Sorry to hear of your loss.
I had a mmc when I was 40, then a healthy pregnancy and had dd1 when I was 41. I then had another miscarriage the following year (blighted ovum). It took a year of trying to conceive dd2 and she arrived mid lockdown in May of this year. I was 44.
I only took vitamins, and got plenty of exercise and ate healthily, so it can be done!
Be kind to yourself though and try not to stress. Easier said than done, I know!

Hi @October1979 sorry I thought I had replied to your last posts 🤦‍♀️. That’s great news! Nice to be reassured all the levels are normal. Honestly if that’s the case, I really think you will be fine. We all have the fear if we focus on it, but plenty women get pregnant over 40. And nobody know how things will play out...not even you me gp.

I’m doing ok. I was so on for being calm and collected, been symptom spotting of course but taking it all lightly and with a bit of fun. But yesterday I had mad cramps. Started Sunday and then yesterday they were like Full on AF cramps, when I normally reach for the ibruprofen and hot water bottle. Last all day. It was totally tripping me out, like what is this? AF early? I also had strong nausea. I’ve had implantation cramps on my last PG and they were really mild and last a couple of hours. Cramps and nausea eased today. So now I’m thinking what else could it have been? Trying not to get carried away 🤭

2 days to AF/Test. 9 dpo. Not long now!

How are you getting on? Are you waiting till sat to test?

Hi @KellyMarieTunstall2 great to hear such a positive story and congratulations on your babies! I think @October1979 will really appreciate it.

I’d love to hear more about the supplements, I’m only taking basics at the moment. I’ve read about dhea but finding it all a bit of a steep learning curve.

Hi OP
I'm just here to wish you well. I'm an older mother had no 2 at 42 and no3 at 44. Conceived naturally. I took all the supplements Ubiquinol, Agnus castus, evening primrose oil until ovulation and maca. I knew my time was running out at 44, but tried anyway and got lucky. All the best.!

@October1979 sounds like your getting some much needed positivity and support from your acupuncturist. I was really lucky when I had my MC all the staff were so supportive and kept reassuring me that MC is a normal part of pregnancy and happens frequently at any age. I told one midwife I was so surprised to have a MC as my past pregnancy was so uncomplicated.One midwife said getting pregnant is a role of the dice, And in my first PG the genetics were right so I didn’t have problems.

What your GPs comments in relation to your tests or just about age generally? I have to say there are a number of GPs where I attend and they vary a lot of their approach and opinions on things (not specifically talking about pregnancy). Might be worth getting a number of medical opInions.

Hope your doing well today. One day closer to test or AF day. I had a bit of light headedness and was delighted.🤣🤣🤣 lol it’s funny what you enjoy when you are TTC

Sounds like a plan @October1979. You are doing all the right things. I understand the feel of panic and there really is a lot of pressure on womem trying to get pregnant when they are older. But it’s entirely possible, and likely probable for you to conceive naturally ...I suppose it’s just good to get knowing where your chances sit within all those statistics. I’m just going for it, I feel like the two MC as awful as they were showed me it is all working and hopefully it’s a matter of time.

Oh great we will be close in testing time then that will be nice! I’m due on the 4th Nov and going to try not to test till then. But no promises! I don’t think it would be helpful for me to see BFNs at the moment or find out about a CP. When are you due to test?

I’m doing good. Feeling positive at the moment, first time trying again after MC which I expected to be stressful but I’m actually excited that the possibility of being pregnant is back on the cards. I feel like that might change if I get PG, I feel like I will be quite nervous then.

We’re DTD every 2/3 this month. I’m using opks and jumped the gun way too early thinking I might be peaking....se feel like we’ve done it loads this cycle 😅. I got PG doing it every 3 days on my son, but feeling a bit more in a hurry this time so tending to go every 2 days around the time of ovulation, and might add an extra one on ovulation day.

Meanwhile my symptom spotting continues. I have continuous indigestion and feeling rosy cheeked and hot all the time. Lol maybe Im eating too fast and Have the central heating too high 😆 3 days dpo and 8 days till AF...can’t come soon enough.

How are you feeling today @October1979. Things any clearer for you? I’m symptom spotting at 2 days dpo, which is ridiculous but I can’t help myself. It’s like self torture! 🙈😂

Yes @October1979 I understand. There’s no reason why you can t keep trying naturally and start to research into IVF. Arming yourself with information will help you decide. Also just because you are older doesn’t mean that it will take a long time either - there’s a lot of luck involved in getting pregnant at any age and it can be super quick or take some time. Maybe you don’t have to make a decision just yet, just keep trying but also get advice from some experts and then see where you are at in a few months time. I think advice from professional will give you some clear options you can decide on...and it may not be an all or nothing situation.

Hi @October1979 I am 41, will be 42 in Dec. We are TTC our 2nd. Conceived naturally on our first at 38, not even an OPK.

This is our 5th cycle TTC, I had a MC at 5 weeks and one at 10 in that time. I feel the same as you, it shows me it’s all still working and it’s just a matter of getting the genes right. I’m not considering IVF..But if it was my first I would probably like to get some tests for reassurance.

The advice I got from midwives and doctors after the MC us that I am healthy, and that any pregnancy is a roll of the dice.

BTW it is both sperm and egg, as well as the transaction between them that is at play in getting the right mix. It is not all on you!

I have to say I don’t know much about IVF or even what the acronyms means so not able to give that perspective.

But I really like this article by the British pregnancy association on older mothers. www.bpas.org/get-involved/campaigns/briefings/older-mothers/
There are a lot of social and cultural attitudes that contribute a lot of pressure to woman who choose to become mothers later. The article is really balanced and helps put things in perspective. If you don’t have any underlying issues, persistence And positivity should pay off. Being older does not equate to being infertile...that can happen at any age. MC can happen at any age -25% of pregnancies end this way, it is part of the process at any age. Being older means statistically it is a bit harder.

I’m on the journey too, it would be lovely to have some chats. I have to say the thing I find the hardest being older is DTD all the time 😅😅😅😂 Though this was quite an enjoyable month 😆

Don’t wait. I kick myself about that. My pregnancies were fine but it is really hard physically being the mother of two small people.

It is a rabbit hole. I was a woman possessed. If you’re happy to have a donor egg you have a much higher chance of success and could have the treatment overseas which is much cheaper.

I’ve had 4 rounds of IVF - successful first time, at 39, then two failures (including a miscarriage), then success again at 43. I was at the Lister and I won’t lie: it was staggeringly expensive. Probably about £40k in all. Best money I’ve ever spent though.

You’ve also got pregnant naturally once - that’s a really great sign. Both my DC were fresh cycle IVF. I’ve never been pregnant naturally.

Hi @October1979 it’s not great but it’s certainly not terrible. AFC varies month to month if I remember rightly. There are other bloods that help to build up a complete picture.

Can you afford IVF? Some clinics will only treat you if your numbers are right, so start the investigation process now, because those numbers only decline as we age.

Hey I’m 41 in jan. ttc my third. Had a Cp last month. Xx

Meant to say we were of the Que Sera camp too (didn’t meet until our late 30s), but as time goes on you become sadder and more desperate and I look back now and kick myself at the time we wasted.