Trying to conceive baby No 1 over 40

Thanks to you for encouraging me and supporting me with this. I would honestly have left it for days or weeks if left to my own devices.
Just trying to let it sink in and not think too much ahead. Never thought I would get pregnant without help so I'm pretty overwhelmed lol

Spoke to DP tonight and we initially were going to leave it for a few days but then decided to do a test... keep looking at it as I can't quite believe it!

Yes same here @October1979. CD 10. Had to bring son for covid test this eve (just precautionary) so will DTD 2m and then every 2 days till peak. Ovulated at CD 13 last month so want to get on DTD incase it’s early again. What’s your plan this month? Still SMEP?

I’m glad it helped. It ya hard. But I took the first step or reaching out. My fingers are crossed for you. 🤞 let us know how u get on.

@October1979 how are you doing?

thank you @Bouncytree for your kind post, you've articulated very well the complex mix of emotions I'm feeling. I'm usually very rational and in control so its almost like burying head in sand is easier than facing reality.

You're right that DP would not want me to be going through these thoughts alone and he would want to be a part of it, whatever the outcome so that is good advice.

Sometimes you just need someone to tell you out loud what you actually know deep down.

Hi at @VWGolfmk2 I understand. It’s pretty overwhelming. This is not your last chance. But I know how you feel there is a lot of pressure.

At any age I think It’s overwhelming when you find out you are PG because Suddenly there is a life inside you. That is a big deal, and it happens suddenly and It is actually hard to get your head around.

What you are feeling is totally natural. It’s not even to do with age. We think BFP should be exciting because we want it so much- but it can actually be scary and suddenly u have a whole new set of worries. It flips it’s no longer oh god I want a BFP it’s...oh god do I want this? There is no going back. What if everything isn’t ok...it’s a big life change and it’s ok to feel overwhelmed.

And then there is the fear that it is also not a BFP. At the moment you are in limbo with a lot of ‘ifs’

My advice...reach out and get support. Tell your husband how you feel. I know you are scared to make it real...but taking a step will help. Let him know you are struggling with this. It will feel better not to do it alone.

I know testing feels scary...but actually the fear/limbo you are in now is worse - and once you test you can deal with whatever the outcome is.

Hi there, I've been lurking on this thread for a while, I'm 41 and we've been ttc my first baby for about 6 months. I'm tracking ovulation etc on an app but I've deliberately not tried to think too much about it or get too stressed.

According to my app, which is usually accurate to within a couple of day, I'm 6 days late for my period, and I'm not feeling any of the usual premenstral symptoms I usually get... but I'm petrified to test. I keep thinking hold off another few days just incase my period comes. I've not said anything to Dp as I don't want to upset him if it's nothing.

I don't know what to do, I'm petrified to test now incase it's negative, but also scared incase it's positive as it's such early days and I'll then worry about it going wrong.

Really need a hand hold and bit of advice from ladies that have been here. Just feels like this would be my last chance and I'm scared of putting too much expectations on it.

Oops. Hit wrong button.

1. Took 10 months and fell in October and recent lost of 10 weeks.

Hi,
I have had 3 mc in 18 months. I am 40.

1. Got pregnant first time trying at 39 in 2019
2. Took 8 months to conceive again and got pregnant in December 2019
3. Took another 10 months to fall again s in

Thanks @October1979. How are you doing?

Yes AF arrived sat. Wasn’t too surprised and had been so busy I hadn’t got my hopes up too much and it actually helped. I’m kinda fine with it not happening for a month or two to give the ubiquinol time to work and hope that I get a good egg!

@Catconfusion welcome and I’m so sorry to hear about what you’ve been through. It’s saucy a tough process isn’t it.

I agree I do think fertility is about the individual, statistics can only tell you so much. Unfortunately miscarriage is totally normal. I’ve had two and the medical staff just kept saying how common it is and very much part of getting pregnant. One nurse described getting pregnant to me as a roll of the DNA dice.

But it can be hard not to worry at the same time.

Persistence persistence!

*have irregular periods

Hello ladies, just a bit of reassurance, I had a mmc last year after getting accidentally pregnant on my honeymoon at 39. It was horrendous as I didn’t know until a routine 10 week scan we’d booked I had to have a d&c at 12 weeks. We were devastated and shocked as I’d had severe morning sickness. Everyone had said it was a good sign. Three weeks later I got pregnant again but had an early loss at 5 weeks. I couldn’t believe I’d got pregnant so quickly. I think my body just wasn’t ready. We had a four month break as my cycles were then off after two back to back miscarriages. In that time I turned 40. We decided to try again soon after. I got pregnant 3 weeks after my 40th birthday. My baby boy was born in April. I’m now 41 and we’re hoping to ttc number two after Christmas. I’m a bit nervous after what we went through last year. Also I was irregular periods so ovulation is difficult to pinpoint. We conceived my son on day 34 of my cycle. I think the nhs advice generally is very damning of older people getting pregnant. In my experience it’s happened the only three cycles we’ve not used contraception . I may be lucky but I do know a lot of other people who’ve had babies at our age. One friend at 44 first cycle with no complications. Plenty of younger people struggle to conceive and have losses so I think fertility is an individual thing. I hope you won’t still be here after Christmas but this seems like a lovely group and would love to chat and join in the group hand hold when we’re trying if you are xx

Oh boo sorry to hear that @October1979. It’s not for the want of trying. Are you doing ok? Hard when you have put in all that effort.

Doing ok here, 13dpo. Having cramps and nausea since yesterday...but that’s what I had last month. I think this is how my PMS is after the MC...at least I feel a little less crazy and I didn’t make up symptoms that were there.

Of course I’m Secretly hoping it’s implantation cramps.🤪

Hey @October1979 how are you doing? Sorry for lack of contact I’ve had a work deadline but at least it helped me not to obsess too much! Not much going on here symptom wise, prob been to busy to notice the twinges I like to think are symptoms! 11dpo 3/4 days left till AF. I think I’ll be getting that testing feeling soon! How are you getting on?

So sorry you lost your baby. That must be very hard and easy to feel worried about the future. I'm a bit younger but I got pregnant with my 2nd at 38. Just turned 39 and in 4 months gone. It took 3 cycles of trying. My husband was really disappointed as he wanted to have a bit more fun trying. It can be easier than you think. Good luck

4th or 5th for A, depending on if you can normal cycle length or due date.so will wait till then. Feels like the longest wait ever already! I made myself forgot about to make the time go quicker...but it seems to be taking even longer!

How are you feeling? Not much going on here to report symptom wise it must be a miracle I Havnt found something 😂