Trying to conceive baby No 1 over 40

Aww thank you @October1979 we’re in shock. I just did another test and got a stronger line so feeling hopeful. The one this morning was a squinter. I was getting some strong cramps but those have eased now. I had two losses before ds so a little terrified but trying to stay positive and obviously really grateful for it! I figure I’m 10 days in so baby conceived on day 28 of my cycle!

Wishing everyone on here lots of baby dust. I really hope to see more bfps soon! Xx

@Littlemiss40andfabulous cramps are a normal part of early pregnancy. I got quite severe ones with ds but it was just everything starting to change. It’s not over until it’s over! Xx

@October1979 it could be something called a fallback rise. It’s perfectly fine just where the oestrogen takes a bit longer to drop so it affects the progesterone related rise. You should get a rose tomorrow.

Yes my cycles have been a nightmare my whole life. DS was conceived on cd33. It makes ttc really difficult as it could be any day within a three week period. My mum and sister were the same but found their cycles regulated after children.

In other news I got a faint bfp this morning. I’m really not sure what to think. Explains why my cycle is now day 38 without AF coming. I feel quite shocked as I’d not been tracking anything. Trying not to get my hopes up! Xx

Hi @October1979 and @Catconfusion thanks for asking. It's just passing tbh as I don't really believe we'll get pregnant tho month. Think I'm just going to wait and see if AF arrives as norm yin a few days time. My regular abdo cramps over the last few days suggest it probably will.

Since keeping a close eye on my cycle in 2020 I've noticed I get lower abdo pains for 1-2 hours for 2-3 days in a row, starting a week before AF arrives. All the websites say this is too early to be menstrual pains but after quite a months getting excited that they might be implantation pains, they definitely are menstrual!

@October1979 the Ava device sounds interesting. I've not heard of that before.

@Catconfusion sorry your cycle's are not how you want them to be right now.

Take care everyone xx

Sorry guys, I wrote my message in the wrong group and then thought I'd be clever and copy my text in to the right group. Looks like a copied the whole page..
Doh
Sorry x

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When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

TTC after miscarriage - January 2020964
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22/01/2020 18:06MilsCookie

@toomanyleggings it’s hard to make sense of your results. I think it’s saying that you haven’t had a molar pregnancy, which is a good thing. But I don’t think it gives you any answers or explanations unfortunately. My results didn’t either 😞. But maybe you could call the doctor and ask them to explain it to you?
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22/01/2020 18:37toomanyleggings

I called today @MilsCookie and they said that doesn't show anything 'abnormal'. They ordered genetic testing but it hadn't come back yet and they said it might be inconclusive anyway. Have to accept that I may not get an answer.
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22/01/2020 18:52MilsCookie

@toomanyleggings I suppose the fact there was nothing 'abnormal' might give you some comfort in a way. Mine was the same and they said I shouldn't have problems getting pregnant again. I'm just worried that it's not the getting pregnant I can't do, it's the carrying a baby to full term! It's such a anxious time and I wish they could have given more answers. I hope you get more information than I did 😘
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22/01/2020 19:38toomanyleggings

@MilsCookie I'm convinced I have this APS because my only successful pregnancy was on aspirin but they can't test for it for 6 weeks and then they have to do another test 8 weeks late which I know doesn't sound long but I really just want to be pregnant again and I'm 36 this year
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22/01/2020 19:53ChampooPapi

@toomanyleggings Im sorry I've only just got back to you with this, but I didn't hear anything for nearly 3 months after my surgical management of my miscarriage. So basically I went to the doctors to ask what the hell happened with it all in the end? Eg, did I have a molar pregnancy, should I be tested/scanned for ashermansn ect,.

Basically they had my results which looked word for word exactly the same as yours. Only difference was I think they had a measured amount of fetal tissue or whatever they refer to it as.

They said everything was 'textbook' completely normal and no further tests were needed.

I think on the NHS unless you put up a very big stink they are not going to do anything about it from those results. If your worry is just too much you absolutely should be getting blood tests to check your ovulating and a re assurence scan, but they are not going to do this unless you start a kind of campaign of upset by going in as much as you can, phoning up ect.

Different areas, different protocol, different doctors , all that comes into it too. But sounds like your one of the unlucky people like myself who they absolutely won't do anything unless we badger them basically. .

I was actually told by the doctor who I saw that she would get into trouble if she ordered any tests or refered me for a scan because of resources/funding.

I know it's really stressful, it's easier for me as I have carried two babies to term , but for yourself I really think you should get on that phone again tomorrow and book another appointment. My mum was a nurse for the NHS and said you just have to lay it on thick especially about your mental health, other wise I just don't think they will refer you for anything.

All the best to you, it is just so much to carry around with you, like a weight on your back. Virtual ginormous hug to you and good luck, hopefully your local surgery is better then mine and it won't be as hard as I think!
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22/01/2020 20:46toomanyleggings

@ChampooPapi they have agreed to run blood test for APS but she said to wait until after that for referral. I should have asked to get the ball rolling with hindsight. I also have had one normal pregnancy but I self medicated with aspirin throughout. I'm starting to think that's the only reason my lovely dd survived. Makes me go cold thinking that.
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22/01/2020 21:00StephyRose

@toomanyleggings

I'm sorry to hear of all the stress the results have induced. flowers Haven't heard anything back from our MC yet.

Can I ask, when did you start taking Aspirin when you were pregnant with your DD? I might try that next time.
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22/01/2020 21:32toomanyleggings

@StephyRose I took it from ovulation with my dd. My doctor said it couldn't do any harm. Only 75mg but I'm so scared that I have APS because if you have that you need more than aspirin.
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22/01/2020 23:34BS9790

Think I'm out... Just started with cramps. Gone to toilet and bleeding has started a little sad
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22/01/2020 23:40AlviesMam

@BS9790 I started this morning...it's sooooo shit. Let's get through this and start February off with some positive vibes xxxxxxx
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23/01/2020 06:53toomanyleggings

@AlviesMam @BS9790 try to think positively. If you've started it means you probably haven't got hyper fertility which is a problem where non viable embryos implant. Hopefully your bodies have good screening systems and you're going to get a lovely healthy one soon xxx
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23/01/2020 19:42Anny27

Hope you are doing okay @AlviesMam

@Cruiser1 did your AF arrive or did you get any more positives?

@StephyRose I have been thinking of you lovely xxx

To everyone else - as this thread was getting full we made a new thread - ttc after miscarriage- testing end of jan xx
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23/01/2020 19:43Anny27

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/3802221-ttc-after-miscarriage-end-of-january-2020-testing
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Today 19:44Shadow79

We became pregnant end of September, both of us were over the moon. Couldn't believe it had happened as the one time I wasn't really trying as we were on holiday. I had the most easiest of pregnancy, everything was going great.. Looking forward to our 16 week scan and planning a surprise private scan so my partner could be involved.
Then a few days before I lost my baby I had the most severe constipation which kept me up all night. Called out of hours Dr's who said to increase the lactulose and eat more fruit and you will be fine.. Forward a few days, 29th December. I woke up and ran to the loo and felt immediate relief.. Then went back to bed and actually slept for several hours. Woke up went to the bathroom and my waters broke. Rushed to hospital and sent to resus as my heart rate was 143. After stabilising I was sent for a scan. Poor baby had passed and was already in my birth canal. I gave birth to baby on the evening and awaited erpc. I went for erpc early hour's and bloods taken. Next morning I was told my infection markers were through the roof and my liver function was high too.
Dr's guessed at the time I had a viral infection. They said I wasn't that far along to have preaclampsia. Baby was sent for a post mortem and the results of both of our findings will be addressed in 13 weeks time. We also paid for a private NIPT test cos of my age, this came back all OK.
I really do believe I caught a virus and lost my healthy baby.
After 3 days in hospital I was sent home, I developed heavy bleeding and clotting a few days later and ended back in hospital on the 6th January 2021 for another erpc.. This has been so traumatic and I can't stop thinking about the baby that could have been and how quickly our future has changed.
When I was scanned to check viability of baby the consultant noticed I had a 12 cm fibroid in the unterine wall, I believe its at the top of the uterine wall or possibly top right side. I'm now waiting for another scan.. Nagging Dr's as I need to know this has degenerated. I personally don't believe this caused any issues as my bloods were off.
And I feel totally the same as you.. I really want to start trying again as I turned 41 in October ( thinking this baby was the best present I could ever have).
I don't have time on my side, but I also don't want to be waiting months and months for a scan.
I do know that in 13 weeks time we have a meeting with our consultant regarding this unbelievable nightmare.. They will discuss findings but I have also been told that they will also discuss a care plan for any future pregnancies. I'm not to worried about becoming pregnant as I know it will rush the doctors in to giving me the care and sort out a care plan for me and future babies.
I hope we all have a happy ending and one day we all have our rainbow baby. X

My plan was to order Ava if I didn’t catch this cycle but it’s not recommended for cycles over 35 days and it’s looking like that’s me again now.

Hey @Littlemiss40andfabulous glad you managed to try. When will you test? Xx

Hey @October1979 great news about Ava. I hope the 2ww goes quickly. I’m considering getting one, although I’m having a much longer cycle this time. I’m on day 38 and have a negative test so pretty sure my irregular cycles are back. I didn’t temp or test LH but I felt like O was 13 days ago so a pregnancy would be showing up now. My luteal phase is 16 days so expecting AF in a few days. It’s so frustrating as I’d hoped my cycles were better these days. Xx

Hi everyone,

Just catching up on this week's posts - once work started back on Monday, time has just flown by!

So I had my peak ovulation days at the weekend and Monday and was gutted as DH didn't feel well enough so I thought this was going to be a wasted month, but on the final day he felt better so I am legitimately in that 2 week waiting period again....

How are you doing?

Me too age 44, no luck been trying for years

Sending you lots of luck!

Just joining in here. I’m 41 and fell pregnant on first attempt in November just gone. Had MC at 6 weeks which was sad, but not devastating...I suppose many of you will relate to the feeling that I wasn’t expecting much and we were so shocked (my OH is 47) that frankly the whole experience felt more positive than sad.

Really useful to read about tests.

Has anyone had any pre-conceptions scans? I am following this thread closely :-)

If you haven't had fertility checks I'd have that done asap as you only have a couple years of you need IVF. This happened to us, I had a MMC at 9 weeks when I was 39, as I'd got pregnant we assumed all was fine and continued TTC for over a year. We then had tests and turns out our chances of TTC naturally were very small, IVF was suggested as our only likely option. We went for it and I had a baby at 41. Good luck xx

Agreed @October1979 I’ve read a bit around timing of dtd and the sex and I think it’s so hit and miss. I would be gutted if I delayed things and then couldn’t fall pregnant. You’re right, every cycle counts.

I think it’s absolutely lovely you got the note in your Ava package. Do you know if you can start Ava mid cycle? Not sure if it’s worth getting hold of one. I really hope it works for you. I’ve heard the data is really interesting. 2021 will be your year. I’ve got a feeling! Xx

Thanks @Bouncytree we did just dtd when DH got home so i'm pretty sure if this is O coming we've covered it. Yes I think getting bogged down in whether its a girl or boy is a mistake. Dtd too long before O risks not catching and with my crazy cycles its difficult to predict. It's not a massive deal now I know how difficult pregnancy is to achieve. Just a healthy happy baby is the goal really.

DS was conceived on day 33 so pretty miraculous really. I'm not holding out too much hope for this cycle. At least I've realised I'm not content unless tracking so will sort out a thermometer for next cycle. With longer cycles it just becomes really stressful so at least knowing it's definitely happened puts the mind at rest. I'm hoping O comes in the next few days. Last cycle it was two days after EWCM so actually it might not be just yet. The cycle we conceived DS it was within one day.

How long do you have before O? Will you be there soonish @October1979? xx

So confusing @Catconfusion. But I would just get on and DTD as soon as you can. It’s difficult to time ovulation and things may not always follow the exact same timings. Also I’ve read the stuff on boy/girl fast/slow sperm...but I really think we can’t dwell too much on it...TTC is hard enough without adding another factor to worry about...when we really can’t control whether it will be a boy it girl. We have so much info now we can overthink this stuff. DTD every few days really is enough. We Conscience DS DTD every 3 days

Oh no @Bouncytree I’m sorry to hear that. Onwards and upwards for 2021. It’s frustrating I know but hopefully next cycle will be the one.

So I thought I ovulated last week. We’d dtd last Sunday and I thought it’d happened on Tuesday as I got ewcm on Monday. We dtd on Thursday as well as insurance but I continued to keep having cm so did wonder if it had happened. We’ve been knackered as ds is teething and not sleeping well so felt relieved at least we’d tried. Anyway I got some ewcm last night so obviously it didn’t happen last week. We’d hoped to dtd last night but I fell asleep before DH got to bed. This morning I had loads of ewcm. Also getting some one sided cramps so pretty sure it’s happening today. I’m cd25 so seems my cycle is getting longer which is annoying. I do wonder is eating badly at Christmas is to blame. The plan is to try and get ds to sleep so we can try when he gets home at midday. Not sure if our chances are good. I guess the ewcm usually shows up the day before O so we might get lucky. My body is so confusing.

The day we conceived ds I got a load of ewcm the day before. I was temping then though so could confirm I’d ovulated so figured we had a chance. Just gutted we didn’t dtd last night or even at the weekend to cover all bases. Also wondering if it would mean another boy if we did conceive as close to O. We’d be over the moon with another healthy boy but a little part of me would love a girl. I think we’ll give it a go and hope for the best. Xx