Trying to conceive baby No 1 over 40

Thanks @Catconfusion - AF starting this morning, pretty much on time. Another BFN last night so time for wine and chocolate to mark the beginning of trying again next month...

I hope you are about to go in the 2 week wait.

Sorry to hear that @sabtom and @Littlemiss40andfabulous Hoping for a late surprise for you both.

I’m day 31 and I still haven’t ovulated 🤷🏻‍♀️. It’s exhausting after three peaks and nothing. My temp went up today so I’m hoping maybe the peak I had on Monday came to something. I might have to stop using opks as they give me such misleading results, I get my hopes up and then don’t ovulate. Anyway I may be heading into the two week wait so I’ll keep you posted. Xx

@October1979 Another BFN yesterday but started feeling crampy earlier and getting more intense now so AF is expected tonight/tomorrow morning. Plus my temp went down this morning too. But it's the longest cycle I've had in a while, 28 days and 14/15 day LP. Usually for me it's 24-26 CD and 11/12 day LP so don't know what happened this month 🤷🏻‍♀️

@Littlemiss40andfabulous snap! I'm either 12/13/14 dpo today but BFN on an internet cheapie this morning. AF due either tomorrow or Thursday. I don't usually do a test until AF is late but I threw up for no reason a couple of mornings ago, and I've had small waves of nausea the past couple of days. Although it's far too early to morning sickness, and if it was that means HCG would be in my system and would've shown up on the test this morning, so I dunno what to think 🤷🏻‍♀️Maybe it's my mind playing tricks on me but I'm gunna try again tomorrow if AF doesn't show up.

@Sobloodyexhausted that's a wonderfully encouraging post to read - thanks for sharing.

@littleangle46 sorry you had a CP too. I hadn't heard of this issue so thanks for sharing. I've had a quick read up on it.

So I'm 12dpo and nothing on the cheapie sticks so far... AF due Weds or Thurs so am trying to relax and just wait and see what happens...

Hi @Littlemiss40andfabulous, @October1979 I send all my best wishes from Italy. My pregnancy ended as a chemical pregnancy. We still try but given my age and we find out we are both infected with Ureaplasma chances are less than 0. Ureaplasma is very hard to cure and causes misscarriage, people here who had misscarriages I suggest go get tested for it many studies shows that its a big risk factor... all the best to everyone and take care all

@Sobloodyexhausted, thank you for your faith renewing story! It really does prove that there’s hope. I still curse myself for not having started earlier or at least paid attention when my friends were regaling their stories. It just cut too close to the bone at the time.
Onward and upward they say... I literally have everything crossed!

Wow @Sobloodyexhausted what an amazing journey and your surprise baby shows anything is possible. Thank you for sharing! Xx

@Sobloodyexhausted Oh wow! Lovely to hear that and 48 is SO inspiring!! I’m ordering that supplement right NOW! Clearly a lucky charm of nothing else! Thank you for sharing xxx

I’m so sorry about your loss I hope you get pregnant again very soon.

I hope I can give you hope, I have three children. I conceived my first at 36 after multiple miscarriages and three years of trying. My second was conceived relatively easily three-ish years later then I had a (wonderful) surprise baby this year at 48!

Each time we’ve conceived my husband has coincidentally been taking a supplement called Mountain Blood Shilajit which is known to improve sperm quality amongst other health benefits so I really recommend that.

www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B072YY51PW/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_i_VIQsFb5VMKGCC?tag=mumsnetforu03-21

Aww no problem @Carameldragon it’s a lot to take on board at first. I think being older puts the pressure on to get it right early on so it’s always good to glean advice from other people going through it. Remember it only takes once so if it’s well timed your chances are good. I wish you the best of luck! Xx

Thanks all, I’m bit of a data junkie and I have researched to the point of confusion. It’s really nice to just hear from those that are in it to break it down to basics. Ive decided to get OPKs and temp monitors. Should be arriving this week. I’d already started with the prenatal vits, so that’s covered. As I work away and don’t often see my partner as much as I’d like -especially now. I can now plan the best times to make the monthly visits that I make, where we do tend to make up for lost time anyway, at least now I’ll be able to focus our ‘attempts’ to the right window.
I’ve also downloaded the ‘starts with the egg’ on to my kindle.
Thank you all so very much! You really will have made a difference as I’ve realised my home visits are probably not happening at the right time.
Also please forgive if I don’t use the acronyms, my head is just full of them due to work. Not sure I can squeeze any more in!
Crossed fingers for all of us!

@Carameldragon I agree with everything that @Catconfusion said. I am 42 at ttc #1 too, for me I decided to go private for a few tests that would prevent me trying/MC-ing endlessly if there was a problem. I’m just a bit ocd so I like the data early, especially at this age.

I have thyroid tested, vitamin D and AMH. I also had a scan to confirm not structural internal issues and to do a follicle count. My OH is 49 (also with two kids) so he had a motility test too. These are all tests that a GP will refer you for after you’ve been trying a while, but over 40 it feels like it takes so long and those months are precious so I forked out the cash (was about £450 total) and it was useful for peace of mind as all was normal. But had there been an issue almost all of those things were highly treatable.

Have you red the book “It starts with an egg”? Invaluable reading for anyone ttc. Xxx

Hi @Carameldragon I’m so sorry for you loss and difficult time previously. Great news you’ve met such a lovely man and are ready for a baby. I met my husband at 39 and we’re now 41 with a baby boy. Now trying for number 2. It can all happen very quickly!

My advice is take a good quality prenatal as soon as you can containing 400mg of folate/folic acid every day. Next figure out when you ovulate. The best way to reliably do this is with opks and taking your temperature. Some of the ladies on this thread use the Ava bracelet. It takes your temperature while you sleep. You will get a big temperature rise the day after ovulation. The opks are urine tests that give you a positive a day or two before you ovulate. So opks give you the heads up to have sex and the spike in temperature confirms you did ovulate. It’s then a case of waiting to test if you miss a period.

Try not to worry about the odds. Some women are still quite fertile in their early 40s. You might fall pregnant easily. The media likes to portray late motherhood in a bad light but it’s natural and normal to have a baby over 40.

I wish you the best of luck and we’re all here to support you! Xx

Don't worry. Have reported. They won't take it down until the morning.

Why do you say that @bigtittymilkymummy?

Hi everyone! I’ve been liking here for a while. I’m 43 no kids and finally I’ve found the courage to try to have a baby. I had a very bad experience when I was 36, the scars ran deep for a very long time. It wasn’t just the MC that affected me it was the way in which I was dealt with and the way my long term partner at the time handled it. I have been single since. Anyway, that’s another story!
I decided a couple of years ago that I really wanted to have a baby, I cursed myself for possibly leaving it too late. I was 41, single with no man on the horizon. I started dating, it was important to me that they wanted a child, that severely limits the number of fish in the pool so to speak.
So I’ve now found a fantastic guy, he has an 18 and 13 year old. He wants to have more kids, he’s a gentle soul and a rock for me. I’m in the military so opportunities are few and far between so I now have my age and the lack of regular sex to combat. So ladies if there is any advice I will lap it up! I’ve researched and researched but I don’t think there’s anything quite like hearing from the horses mouth. I know the odds are stacked against me. We did have what we thought may have been a happy accident a couple of months ago, I was three weeks late, didn’t think to test as we weren’t really trying I was away with work, I’d not noticed that the time had whizzed by until I went home but I started the next day and it was incredibly heavy and painful. I do have incredibly regular periods, like clockwork in fact. Does this help, in the sense I’d O on the same day every time? I’ve started to take folate, is there anything else you can advise? What’s the best way of tracking it? Is there something you’d like to have know at the start of your journey?
I’m super new to this so really would appreciate any suggestions or guidance!
I really wish you all the luck in your journeys and hope they prove fruitful!

@sabtom I’m sure it’s fine to have one or two. I know exactly what you mean. I’d normally avoid sugar around ovulation to see it it helps with my irregular cycles. I’ve had a bag of mini eggs and two chocolate spread pancakes since Saturday. I’m also on my first proper cycle of ttc and already unmotivated. Guess the miscarriage last cycle has affected my mindset too. It’s really hard to avoid the things that make us happy with no guarantees. I also had a coffee this morning which is something else I try and avoid. The cold weather and lockdown make it tougher I think. Xx

@bitheby hmm yes interesting, never heard that either.

Anyway, for some reason I don't feel optimistic this month, I don't know why? So much so, I had some soft cheese on a cracker yesterday 😳 and usually I avoid all that stuff in the 2WW, I just really fancied soft gooey French cheese on a cracker 😆 Also, it's a friends 40th today, and we're having a little Zoom get together, I'm also contemplating have having a little 🥂, am I being naughty? I'm just getting really tired of living my life around 'what if this is the month' 😤

@bitheby I’ve not heard this before but it’s interesting. Xx

@sabtom I don’t know much about opks tbh as I’ve only just started using them but with temping the ovulation day is the day before the rise. It’s the release of the egg that produces the progesterone that makes your temperature rise. Xx