Trying to conceive baby No 1 over 40

@Marvellouslymadmum fingers crossed they’ll refer you definitely fight for it.

Luckily we had all the fertility testing after our first two mc. We were a few weeks off our fertility referral to look at my irregular ovulation when I fell pregnant. DHs SA results were really good and all my hormone levels were normal. I think the cut off in our area is 43 for the referral so we have a bit of time hopefully. Though I do wonder if having our DS will be a problem. I’ll argue like you that it’s a medical issue and it needs treatment if I’m not falling pregnant. Xx

@Catconfusion yes I was quite surprised too! I'm hoping that my gp will be helpful with the situation otherwise I'd have to go private and although the clomid itself probably isn't that costly it would be the consultations and scans etc that they would charge heavily for. It's definitely worth a chat with the gp to see if they will do some investigating for you

@Marvellouslymadmum really, 40 is the cut off!!! That’s shocking! Loads of women have babies in their 40s. It’s really awful to discriminate due to age just because you need help with a long standing health issue to fall pregnant. I’d argue they’re denying you treatment when it’s not age related. It’s not as if you’re asking for ivf which is obviously expensive. I really hope you get some support through the GP.

I guess I just wait and see if we’ve caught this cycle. I’m 4 dpo so will test towards the end of next week. I’m trying not to think too far beyond then but I may speak to the GP if we’re not lucky. These long cycles worry me! Xx

@Catconfusion I've heard great things about it, it's funny I've heard different things from different people, some say we wouldn't be referred at all and some say we could get referred but not get ivf so if it's the second one then that's good! Yes we aren't eligible because I have children though we don't have any together, I'm also over the age bracket as the cut off on the nhs is 40 in this area. But yes exactly I may be able to argue my way in haha. That's a good idea about a joint gp appointment, we are at the same practice, just depends if they will see us as they're doing most appointments over the phone at the moment, I'll have to try and find out.
What are your next steps? Xx

@Marvellouslymadmum well my mum was one of the first users of Clomid in the early 70s and she conceived my sister on the first cycle. Yes it is through a fertility specialist as they need to monitor how it affects your ovaries by ultrasound I think. I presume you can’t be referred for this because you have children. I think that’s a bit unfair because it’s not as if you’re needing IVF. I’m pretty sure a friend of mine got a referral for Clomid with her second baby. I guess it depends which area you’re in. The way I see it you have a medical issue so should get treatment on the nhs. It’s probably not age related if it pco but just more how your body is and has always been. They do make it hard for us older mums.

Could you book a joint appointment and speak to the GP together? Xx

@Catconfusion yes I'm hoping if I'm nit ovulating clomid will definitely be good but not sure if a gp would prescribe it or if it would have to be a fertility specialist and if so that would mean paying for it I would assume as we can't have a referral. I've got to get him to ask about an sa from his doc as they won't speak to me and he's rubbish at speaking to people lol

@Marvellouslymadmum I’m so sorry to hear that. I can imagine it’s so frustrating. Just take each day at a time. You’re moving forwards with the investigations and hopefully will know what’s going on soon. I can imagine Clomid would benefit you if you’re not ovulating. Hopefully you’ll get a quick referral for fertility support. Your OH will need the SA though. Fingers crossed for you! Xx

@Catconfusion I'll keep an eye on the ovusense, the temperature don't seem to confirm ovulation either to be honest! I've got tests booked in with the gp next week so hopefully I will get some kind of answer as to what's going on! I'm trying to persuade the oh to get some tests done too

@Marvellouslymadmum completely agree ovusense is pricey but it’s so good for irregular cycles. There’s sometimes offers on.

Do the apps confirm ovulation based on the temperatures you’re getting?

I think it’s possible with the LH tests to miss the peak sometimes. I do mine three times a day when I get a high reading. It’s so frustrating to then realise it hasn’t happened. Sometimes only a few days later it goes high and I get a peak.

I would definitely keep temping and only stop the opks and dtd if you get a sustained rise. If you’re not getting that ask the GP for testing. It’s normal to not ovulate sometimes as well.

It’s so difficult not knowing why it’s not happening or why the cycles are irregular. Luckily DHs SA was normal. Mcs can still be because a dud sperm got in though.

Hopefully we’ll both get lucky soon! Xx

I've been using bbt for about 5 months and use 6 different apps 😂 they never seem to match up so I use them all haha Femometer is one of them, though it's never said anything about keep testing Lh because of the temps 🤔 I'd never managed to get a peak on any opk strips only higher and lower reading sometimes all the way through the month! I'm using the clearblue digital advanced ones this month which gave me a static smiley face on cd13 so I'm hoping that ones right! I have had a look at the ovusense before but it's a bit pricey isn't it? I've got to pay for scans privately, and with the cost of all the suppliments and opk's it's all going up and up! It's very frustrating especially because I don't know if the problem lies with me or him or the both of us!

Ahh hopefully you won't need it then! Definitely 🤞🏻 for you xx

@Marvellouslymadmum I have to say with irregular cycles the temperature measurement is key. I didn’t think I was ovulating so I started measuring temps three months before my wedding. I used Ovusense which id thoroughly recommend. It takes the stress out of having to wake up to take accurate measurements. I was surprised to see I did ovulate but it was different every cycle. My only successful pregnancy was conceived at 34 days in and the mcs were between 20 and 30 days. Maybe I just need longer for my ovary to select the right follicle 🤷🏻‍♀️. I’m trying not to get my hopes up since this cycle I ovulated on day 34.

Have you tried any of the apps? The Premom one is good if you’re doing temps and opks. Also the Fermometer app. This one tells you to keep testing LH until the temps are up high enough. One thing I did notice is my opk was much much darker with the surge I actually ovulated. It’s the first month I’ve used them all the way through as usually I get frustrated and stop using them.

It’s totally possible you’re missing it. Also good to get your partner checked out if just to ease your mind. This is the link to Ovusense if you’re interested. It confirms when you’ve ovulated so at least you know you’re definitely in the 2ww.

www.ovusense.com/uk/

I’m gutted I can’t afford it this time.

I’m so sorry it’s been so tough for you. It must be so hard when you had two easy conceptions with your other children.

I have spoken to the doctor. He’s said since two of them were very early and this is very common not to worry. The first one was a mmc and I got to 12 weeks so that was horrible. Needed surgery as well. He’s said if I have another he’ll look to refer me. I’ve only just started trying after my son so very early days. Hopefully just better luck next time. I’ll see my GP if we get to the summer and it hasn’t happened. Xx

@Catconfusion that's what I get worried about that I'm just missing the fw that or we have mf issues as well as my issues! My teenagers were no trouble at all (about the only time 😂) came off the depo injection and fell within 3 months with my son and had the implant removed then fell a month later with my daughter but I was 24/26 then so a fair while ago! Sounds like you definitely have a good shot of getting pregnant, have you spoken to the docs about the miscarriages? I know you can be referred for recurrent mc which is what I'm hoping for once the docs done her other tests

@Marvellouslymadmum it is a nightmare and it worries me it’s caused my three miscarriages. I’ve got pregnant quite easily but keeping them has been the issue. It seems when I ovulate I conceive as the only four cycles we’ve not used protection I’ve got pregnant. Three of those I wasn’t trying or tracking anything.

My advice would be to keep doing the opks in case you get another peak if you haven’t had a temperature rise yet. I was certain the 3rd peak was the one and then my temperature dropped 🤷🏻‍♀️. Luckily it happened on the 4th attempt. It’s so bad for mental health ttc with cycles like these. You just feel like your body’s failing. You get your hopes up and they’re dashed. Plus it’s exhausting.

Have you always had long cycles? Was it tricky conceiving your teenagers? Fingers crossed for us both! Xx

@Catconfusion it's such a nightmare isn't it and the doctors just don't seem to think it's any kind of priority to find out what's going on or why! I'm currently just starting the tww now, I think as I actually seemed to get a peak on opk but my bbt doesn't correlate and no ewcm so who knows!

@Marvellouslymadmum yes I’ve been tested several times as always been like this. My cycles are 35-50 days. My hormone levels have always been normal so the doctor wouldn’t diagnose pco/pcos. They don’t really know why it happens. I had cysts on my ovaries when I was younger but they’ve now cleared up. I had my ds last year and hoped having a baby would sort it out. I had two shorter cycles when I stopped breastfeeding so I had hope. I did have an early mc last month so that might be why this one is so bad. If it’s any consolation I conceived ds on day 33 so it can happen with longer cycles. I would say if your cycles are generally 35 days or less it might not be pco but good it’s being looked at. It’s so frustrating not knowing when to try. I’m honestly shattered from three weeks of dtd every other day with a 10 month old baby. I’m just hoping it happens quickly. Xx

@Catconfusion it sounds like your cycles are a bit like mine - anywhere from 23-35 days with the odd longer one thrown in for good measure and my Lh goes up abs down and up and down and I have trouble pinpointing! Apparently it can be a sign of pco or pcos so I'm getting tests to try and find out, have you been tested?

I’m so sorry @October1979 💐 It must be especially tough after last cycle.

Welcome @Marvellouslymadmum it sounds like you’re doing everything you can now. Fingers crossed it happens soon for you.

As for me, I’ve finally ovulated on day 34 of my cycle. It’s been an absolute marathon and it was my 4th peak that lead to O. I think we timed it well. Now for the 2ww! Xx

Hi all hoping it's ok to join the thread? I've read your stories so far, sorry for the losses it's so hard isn't it!

About me - I'm 41, (for another 25 days) I have two teenagers and my dp has two as well but we have none together. We have been together 5 years and fell pg accidentally in April 2017 which ended in mc at 6.5 weeks we decided to wait a while and I came off contraception in April 2018 but we were just trying casually apart from tracking my cycle, had two cp but nothing else until dec 2020 got a bfp which again ended in mc in January so now we have gone all in - ive been temping for about 5 months opk for two for day 21 tests booked for next week and booking a private scan to check ovaries womb etc next month I'm on pregnacare conception, ubiquinol, vit c, d, e, b6, b complex, epo, pomegranate juice, pineapple, healthy eating, exercise, high protein, keeping warm feet, no alcohol etc! Dp is on pregnacare conception, vit c, d, e, magnesium pomegranate juice, giving up smoking, exercising and eating healthier. I'm hoping to get an sa done for him too and may look at a hycosy for me also. I'm just finishing my fw got my peak on Sunday so firmly into the tww. Hope you're all doing well?

Sorry to hear that @October1979

@sabtom I completely hear you and am feeling similarly. It’s the first time I’ve used opks and getting lots of false peaks has been confusing. Also the temping is a pain. Just Ava sounds like a good idea.

Really sorry you got AF and hope next time is better! Xx

@October1979 I'm sorry to hear your cycle was off this time. It can happen to anyone once in a while. My surge from Monday didn’t come to anything. I’m now getting another surge today so I’m really hoping 4th time lucky.

Annoyingly my cycles have always been like this. The good news is it shouldn’t affect fertility. I’m day 32 now and no temp rise. My ds was conceived on day 33 so I’m hoping I’m not out and I’ll get confirmation tomorrow.

I probably need something like Ava. I know it’s not licensed for longer cycles but would use more for monitoring than predictions. I’m not sleeping well at all knowing I need to take my temperature. Also I’m up in the night sometimes with ds so it’s hard to get accurate results.

Fingers crossed for us both! Xx

Oh no @Littlemiss40andfabulous I’m sorry to hear that. Wine and chocolate is definitely needed. Hopefully better luck next cycle. Xx

Well AF showed up this morning as expected so looks like we're cycle buddies @Littlemiss40andfabulous  hopefully ovulation happens for you soon @Catconfusion 🤞🏻 and good luck for your 2WW @October1979

It'll be my first full cycle on Ava and I'm gunna just stick with that this month, putting away the Femometer and FF and turning off the alarm to temp every morning. Gunna try and take a less 'data-driven' approach to TTC this month and relax a bit. Still sticking to the opks and cocktail of vitamins and supplements though 😂

Baby dust to everyone here xx