Trying to conceive baby No 1 over 40

@October1979 Such a shame you can’t have one funded cycle, in our area the cut off is 43 for 1 IVF cycle if no previous children.

Hmm I get that mc is more common and dna fragmentation can be more problematic but those statistics are dire. I honestly know so many people who’ve had healthy babies in their 40s. They can’t all be lucky. I just worry that it’s scare tactics.

I can imagine the emotions are quite raw at the moment and it sounds like you’re both having a good think. That’s all you can do. I really hope you have some luck whatever you decide. In the meantime we’re here to support you! Xx

@October1979 I have heard IUIs don’t have the best success rate. I guess it makes sense given how long you’ve been trying to give IVF consideration. Would you need to pay anything upfront or could you get funding for it? I guess it gives you a little time to keep trying naturally. It sounds to me more like unexplained infertility than age related so surely it could just happen. Obviously I’m no doctor.

Those stats have given me a shock, especially since this cycle failed for us. It’ll be two years since we conceived our ds in the summer and it’s scary that things can change rapidly at our age. I’ve been reading up on how keeping hormones balanced is important if older so I’m going to have a look at my diet over the weekend and see if I can tweak it. Xx

@October1979 I can imagine it was a shock. Have you had all of the testing and diagnostics you can have now? As you say it’s good it’s opened up conversations now you know the options. Did they talk about any ways they could assist natural conception like IUI or drug treatment? It seems odd to immediately go to IVF and donor eggs when you’re still relatively young and have no known health issues. Xx

@October1979 so sorry I missed your message earlier! Please don't be disheartened by their silly statistics, I've had two conversations with lovely health professionals both over 40 recently who were very positive about people having children over 40, in fact they said most of what is said is not true at all and many women are happily conceiving naturally around this age. Thanks for the link @Geriatric1234 it's good to find something that's a bit more positive than the normal scaremongering that goes on!

@Geriatric1234 it really is. It makes ttc over 40 quite an unpleasant experience because of the worry. Of course chances are a bit less but we’re all individuals and fertility can vary greatly. I don’t really find statistics useful because of this.

I actually don’t know anyone over 40 who has had fertility problems. I know loads of younger people though. Xx

@Catconfusion right?! It’s so frustrating how they quote this over and over!! And thank you fir sharing that so many people you know over 40 became pg! It’s just so nice to read that! X

Thank you so much for this @Geriatric1234 I just don’t know how they can quote these statistics without a diagnosis of something being wrong other than age. Why are over 40 mums having more babies these days than teenagers?

My friend got told 1% chance and she’s got diminished ovarian reserve and starting to go through the menopause. Also hate that they dangle the carrot of donor eggs. My friend was offered them but has hardly any eggs left so I understand why. That’s literally insinuating because you’re over 40 you should give up your genetic link with your child to increase chances.

I’m sorry @October1979 to talk about your results like this. Also sorry to have such a strong reaction. The most important thing is how you and your partner feel. We’re obviously here to support you. Xx

A note on statistics:

Right, this 1% bullshit gets bandied around a lot, and I’m going to link you an article to read.

A few things to note:

1- the statistics are old. Some are REALLY EFFING OLD.

2- they are AVERAGES. That means they include people with fertility-inhibiting issues, health issues and those not even trying to conceive.

3- there is actually NO scientifically researched data regarding women over 40. There are teeny studies, and most of those suggest fertility is improving.

4- lots of studies are done by IVF clinics trying to scare you into IVF. And ivf research does suggest that implantation from ivf is harder in your early 40s.

Read this and keep on TTC-ing! XXX

www.bbc.co.uk/news/magazine-24128176

@sabtom thank you so much. It’s not nice at all but we’re staying positive. Hopefully my next cycle will be calmer and we’ll get some luck! Xx

@Catconfusion yes that means I ovulated this month but it's quite obvious that I have this month as I've had all the signs I don't normally get! The doc I spoke to didn't say anything about it and said everything was fine no more tests and was generally unhelpful so I've booked an appointment with a different doc on Monday to discuss the results

@October1979 I’m sorry but I find those stats confusing if your test results are ok. Was this a private clinic? Why do so many people conceive naturally in their forties if the odds are that poor. It makes no sense. I don’t know anyone who’s not conceived with time in their forties. How do you feel about the results? I hope you’re ok! Xx

Thanks @Marvellouslymadmum how confusing! Does that mean you ovulated then if progesterone high? Do they have any explanation for high levels. Hopefully if they’re thinking pcos you can get some support. Xx

Sorry about your bfn @Catconfusion they're so disheartening. It took a few months for my cycles to feel "normal" again after my MC, I have have my fingers crossed it will happen for you soon

I hope things went okay last night, @October1979

@Catconfusion symptoms are such a nightmare sorry you're not feeling great.

My progesterone is way higher than it should be and so is oestrogen and I don't know what that means and my fsh and Lh are showing a ration 2:1 which could indicate pcos

Thanks @Marvellouslymadmum I’m just baffled as I was getting so many symptoms. I’m really not feeling great at all.

How have the blood tests confused you? Is everything ok? Xx

@Catconfusion sorry you got a bfn they're so disappointing aren't they! I got my blood tests back which have just confused me more lol

It’s really interesting to look at what supplements people are taking. I’m thinking of changing to something that might help regulate my cycles and balance my hormones a bit. Has anyone tried Bud fertility supplement? Or Maca root? Xx

So it’s bad news from me. BFN this morning and lots of AF cramping. I’ve been feeling so hormonal since I ovulated. I wanted to think this was because I was pregnant but I feel like the mc last cycle has messed me up. I wake up crying and tearful every morning. The lockdown isn’t helping but hopefully the weather will improve and it will pass. Xx

Hey @sabtom it’s my understanding that in some cases you can ovulate quite quickly after the surge. I use the cheapy opks because I can see them turn high before the peak so I can dtd in good time. Hopefully you still caught it. Xx

Hi ladies! Hope you're all doing well? Just wanted to get some opinions on when I ovulated. I'm using the Ava bracelet and it said I ovulated yesterday, however I only got the static smiley face yesterday (flashing smiley 2 previous days) but if the Lh showed peak yesterday, wouldn't I be ovulating today or tomorrow? I've attached the graph if it helps.