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Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

Original poster

Trying to conceive baby No 1 over 40

960 replies

October1979 · 13/10/2020 16:07

I am 40 nearly 41 and ttc baby no1. I fell pregnant for the first time in December but suffered a missed miscarriage at 8 1/2 weeks in February. I've been trying ever since with no luck. I use Clearblue advanced fertility monitor. Take vitamin B, C and Co Q10 as well as pre conception tablets daily. Until lockdown I did weekly acupuncture. I guess I'm feeling low as af turned up today and I turn 41 very soon.

I am usually positive and hopeful. Trying to think what's for me won't go past me...

Looking for some buddies in the same boat or some over 40s who conceived naturally to give me hope and share their secret to success.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
68
Honey2 · 29/05/2021 07:50

@October1979 Strange that the clear blue definitely looks a bit darker but not the FRER. I assume all the same wee??! I will keep everything crossed.

Unfortunately I’m expecting the worst as well, my tests have stopped progressing, the ic have never got as dark as the control line (and I’m now 5+4) and in fact this morning I think it was probably getting lighter ☹️

Fortunately due to my age, previous losses and medical history my dr has agreed to refer for an early scan next week. It’s on Friday I’ll be 6+3 so at least I’ll have some idea what’s going on.

@Littlemiss40andfabulous are you still doing ok?

Littlemiss40andfabulous · 29/05/2021 07:04

@October1979 those lines still look good to me, but sorry to hear it's feeling like last time. I hope things are more reassuring for you today xx

Original poster
October1979 · 28/05/2021 23:04

Hi@Lastyearttc not looking too hopeful. Doesn't appear to be any progression and I'm 13dpo. Line on frer looks slightly lighter and Clearblue slightly darker. My resting pulse rate also going down. Keeping my fingers crossed but this all feels to familiar

Trying to conceive baby No 1 over 40
Trying to conceive baby No 1 over 40
Trying to conceive baby No 1 over 40
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Lastyearttc · 28/05/2021 22:23

@October1979 ... what's the latest!?

Honey2 · 27/05/2021 19:05

@October1979 I can definitely see progression on the FRER. 👍

Original poster
October1979 · 27/05/2021 16:57

Hi @Lastyearttc my LP is 11 with my af appearing on the 12th day

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Lastyearttc · 27/05/2021 11:30

@October1979 what's your usual LP if your 12dpo? If the frer is progressing that's a good sign... it's such early days for much difference! Keeping everything crossed for you!

Original poster
October1979 · 27/05/2021 07:13

So today I have slight progression on frer but looks paler or Clearblue. My Clearblue fertility monitor still saying not pregnant but also saying 2 days before period due (their test is 50mlu). I also had a dip in my pulse rate last night not sure if that's a bad sign?

Trying to conceive baby No 1 over 40
Trying to conceive baby No 1 over 40
Trying to conceive baby No 1 over 40
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Original poster
October1979 · 27/05/2021 07:09

Thanks @littlelumie I really appreciate it.

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littlelumie · 27/05/2021 00:33

Just read your update @October1979 fingers crossed for you 💫

littlelumie · 27/05/2021 00:29

Hello @October1979 going by your handle we might actually share a birthday. I'm 41 and 12 weeks pregnant. After some time trying naturally, some tests and fertility support and treatment with a few rounds of Chlomid we are (all being well) expecting this Dec.

Just wanted to send you some positivity to say keep going. My top takeaways (sorry if some of this is tmi but I wished someone had told me earlier...)

  • Keep being proactive with the doctor. I felt slightly written off by my male doctor, a female doctor I saw immediately was a huge help and got things moving for us just in time
  • Use lube that's 'sperm friendly' for fertility, it's not cheap but worth it in my opinion
  • Yoga to help with conceiving. This might not be your thing but I believe it really helped me
  • Cutting out caffeine, alcohol, nicotine etc I believe helped me

I'm really sorry for your previous loss, and I hope things work out for you fellow Scorpio 💫

Marvellouslymadmum · 26/05/2021 23:54

@October1979 you never know! I always wonder if they say these things to push you toward treatment quicker though. I definitely don't think that's true about the eggs either!

Littlemiss40andfabulous · 26/05/2021 21:02

Mmm I'm not sure I buy the 'your body uses good eggs up first' theory. The 'it starts with an egg' book is based on evidence and research (which I was impressed with) and the reason egg quality declines with age seems to be related to the few months of the eggs developmental activity prior to ovulating as a mature egg.I.e not enough ATP (energy) so errors occur leading to chromosomal abnormalities which then leads to chemical pregnancy's and miscarriage. Hence the Coenzyme10 supplements to increase energy levels during egg development.

Honey2 · 26/05/2021 20:58

@October1979 they definitely get darker once dry, so no need to panic 😊

Original poster
October1979 · 26/05/2021 20:56

It is confusing @Lastyearttc I'm 11dpo today

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Lastyearttc · 26/05/2021 20:55

Sorry I meant @October1979 Confused

Lastyearttc · 26/05/2021 20:53

Me too @Jem1979! How many dpo are you?

Original poster
October1979 · 26/05/2021 20:51

Thanks @birdbybird fingers crossed for us all. I also think eggs are randomly selected or no one over 40 would conceive at all xxx

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Original poster
October1979 · 26/05/2021 20:20

Thanks @Geriatric1234 xxx

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Geriatric1234 · 26/05/2021 20:15

@October1979 OMG I am crossing everything for you!!!

Original poster
October1979 · 26/05/2021 19:46

I know @Honey2 I wonder what Sues Amh is?. I also wondered if you were more likely to carry a pregnancy to term after 40 if you already have had a successful pregnancy? As I'm trying for baby no 1. The other thing making me paranoid is comparing test progression lines. I emptied boots of Frers and Clearblues on my way home from work. But I forgot as tests dry they get a bit darker. Did one when I got home and it seems a bit lighter 😢

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birdbybird · 26/05/2021 19:45

@October1979 I also haven’t heard the body selecting the good eggs first. I’ve heard the eggs are selected at random.
I’ve also had a chemical and mc this year and am still hopeful that it’ll be third time lucky. Fingers crossed for you!

Honey2 · 26/05/2021 19:40

@October1979 makes sense to go for the option with the best odds for ivf. Hope you don’t end up needing it! I’m going to try not to read too much as when I do it seems it’s a miracle that anyone in their 40’s can have a healthy baby!!

I still have no idea how Sue Radford kept popping one out each year even after she turned 40!! She managed about 3 babies between 40 and 44 I think.. we just want one!!

Original poster
October1979 · 26/05/2021 19:11

I have no idea @Honey2 about the good eggs going first. He said that's why egg quality declines with age. The body is smart. But it was the first time I've heard it. We also need to think Ivf is a business and they want good stats. The clinic in Glasgow was suggesting one round with my own eggs first before donor. But for me 15%was too low odds. If I go through it I want the odds in my favour. Especially as time is not on my side.

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Honey2 · 26/05/2021 19:06

@October1979 is that right about using all the good eggs first? I’m Not sure.. I thought egg quality declines with age, not that the body saves the bad ones back and send the good one out first! I think it is luck each month if a good one or bad one pops out! I think you’ve still got a good egg in there - let’s hope this is the one.

You are totally right though, thinking negatively is not going to help any of us 😊 I need to give myself a kick up the bum, stop obsessing and fine something else to try and focus on!