Trying to conceive baby No 1 over 40

@Catconfusion I totally agree with you. Doctors interpret things differently and some just jump on the age. It’s not an explanation. And it’s all the more reason to rule out any issues that may be preventing a pregnancy success. Persistence is key here, and it makes it so much harder with attitudes like this. Doctors opinions hold a lot of weight but they are opinions.

Thanks all for your kind words @Marvellouslymadmum And @Geriatric1234it really does help. I never thought I would be so happy gagging and running to the toilet every day! Feels like a strong one 🤞

How is this cycle going for everyone?

I really wanted an early scan but now I’m
Not so sure, it’s going well and tbh I’m a little scared. However I would like to access Chromosomal testing which is at 10-14 weeks do I should probably get it u see way. Not easy to access things before 12 weeks here in ireland

@Bouncytree nausea deffo a good sign! Are you doing an early viability scan? So exciting and makes me so hopeful!! Xx

@October1979 so sorry af showed, I find it outrageous that so many people don't get told the full pic by our docs!

@Bouncytree so glad everything's going well for you!

Aww @Bouncytree I’m so glad things are progressing well. Obviously an early scan isn’t predictive but have one if you think it might help your mental health. Nausea is definitely a good sign. I get sick regardless of outcome but that seems a bit out of the ordinary. Usually strong symptoms lead to a good outcome.

I’ve got everything crossed for you! Xx

@October1979 unless I’m missing something, I’m really confused as to why they’re so quick to say it’s age related. I was nearly 40 when I had my mmc and I was told it was likely bad luck. If your test results are good I don’t understand why they are advising to use donor eggs. You’ve not been diagnosed with ovarian failure. You’re ovulating and not menopausal. Yes you’ve been trying for over a year now but that’s not abnormal at our age. I’m just hoping the judgement of that doctor in the letter after your mmc hasn’t tainted your treatment. Ask them for the proof that your ovary cannot produce a normal egg. Basing a patients treatment on statistics is not wise when fertility is such an individual thing. I’d definitely ask for a second opinion. Sending you lots of love and hoping you’re feeling at least a bit better soon. Take your time though. Fingers crossed for better luck soon! Xx

Yes of course take a bit of time, and just relax and forget about it for a few days.

It’s not predictive either, though there is some evidence that string nausea means strong hcg means good support for the pregancy- but I had bad nausea 2 days before testing and I’ve been much sicker than I was with my son, so that’s helping me feel hopeful. There is a lot of waiting it out in this TTC business isn’t there!

I’m so sorry @October1979. I know it’s devastating. I’m glad your gp is being supportive, that Is so important.I definitely think more investigations are needed. If you can’t get on nhs you should do it privately. You should have a SIS scan to check your cervix and womb. Polyps for instance can cause miscarriage. It needs to be ruled out. Also another opinion could be helpful. I was told by one clinic without Even meeting me that once I reach 43 they will only consider donor eggs, another clinic told me I had a 20% chance with ivf and willing to do it up to 44+. I was utterly gutted by the first letter and then felt so much more hopeful with the next. It had such an effect. Neither had done any tests, so ya based on age and averages. Without tests They really don’t know.

IVF is also worth considering again. They screen the eggs for abnormalities so you are passed that hurdle.

Everything going well here. 7 weeks now, very strong symptoms which I find reassuring. Waiting it out with my fingers crossed. Trying not to be too negative but also trying not to think too far ahead. Feel like I’m half way there. GP said that early scan is not predictive, so it’s all about the 12 week.

Thinking of you. Hope you are ok.

How are you doing @October1979? Did AF show up? Hope you are doing ok. ❤️

@October1979 hold tight, I know it’s really tough. I think your right to be cautious, but don’t panic yet. There are a lot of variables esp wee concentration and the tests are not designed to be qualitative. Bleeding really is the only sign you can trust. This bit is hard because it’s just a waiting game. It’s stressful I know and hard not to think of anything else. I know you know this but it needs to be said, Chemical pregnancies are a normal part of getting pregnant, a midwife told me that every time you TTC it’s a roll of the dice. I know how difficult it is. Fingers crossed For you.

Thanks @Marvellouslymadmum it really is. I get the odd shorter one but mainly this is how it is. I will see what happens with this cycle and speak to my Gp if need be. Xx

@October1979 really!! My second mc was a chemical and I was told it could be investigated after a third. I get the gps point that they are common but you don’t have the time to just wait and see. I think it’s very unfair if they won’t investigate.

Also unfair you’re not getting more support generally. My friend started ttc at 32 and had three miscarriages over two years before having two babies naturally in quick succession. Because of her age she got a referral for fertility support and to investigate her miscarriages. It’s really cruel there’s not more nhs support for you. It might not be age related so it should be checked out.

I think it would be worth looking at your tubes. If a tube is blocked a pregnancy might still try and implant so you could in theory still have a chemical with a tubal pregnancy. Obviously your mmc was in the right place but that’s not to say your other tube isn’t blocked. Also some anatomical differences in the uterus can cause multiple miscarriages. I know you’ve had some blood tests but I think some internal investigations would be really helpful. I’ve also heard having your tubes looked at can lead to pregnancy soon after as you get a good clear out.

I’m so sorry but I’ve not heard of a faint line on an Frer progressing at this point if you’re sure about your ovulation day. They measure such small amounts of hcg. In my experience both times it wasn’t good news. It’s awful because you just want it to be ok. Also it’s torturous you’re getting some symptoms. I really hope next cycle is the one. Xx

@Catconfusion it must be so frustrating getting these all the time! I've had a few two month cycles but not too many. My charts are often similar to yours just shorter mostly.

@October1979 sorry you're going through this, it's so confusing not knowing! 🤞🏻 for you though

@October1979 it’s so horrible. I really do feel for you. I thought after three miscarriages they would investigate on the NHS. I would say just keep pushing. Have you had your tubes checked?

I was really ill after the AZ vaccine. I’ve decided to delay my second dose for now as I got a high fever and I know temperatures are associated with miscarriage. It’s annoying because they’re now recommending the other two vaccines for during pregnancy but no mechanism to book the right jab 🤷🏻‍♀️. I also read some recent advice about having it during AF or in week one of the cycle just in case.

I just find that statistic of 90% of eggs being not viable really difficult to believe. Fertility is such an individual experience so statistics are really problematic. I know so many people who’ve had babies in their 40s. My ds was born when I was nearly 41. If 90% of eggs are bad I don’t know how anyone would conceive at our age.

Just be kind to yourself and do whatever brings you some peace over the next few days. I’ll be thinking of you! Xx

As for me, I finally ovulated. It’s so frustrating my cycles are so long. I’m exhausted from trying to figure out what my body is doing. It’s always been this way. I just hope nether the less we get some luck. Each cycle is taking nearly two months so we’re getting less chances. This is what my chart looks like....Xx

So sorry @Littlemiss40andfabulous to see AF arrived. The year mark must be a difficult stage to reach. I’ve got everything crossed you have some luck soon. Xx

I’m so sorry to hear your sad news @October1979 So unfair for you to go through this again. Is there anything the Gp can do I.e. referral for investigations about the miscarriages? I know you’re getting private fertility support but surely the nhs could look at why this is happening and rule out any particular causes. Just really gutted for you. Xx

@October1979 sorry to read your post - thinking of you as you keep watching and waiting.

AF has arrived for me today so that brings me and DH up to a year of actively trying now, which is quite demoralising. I should change my name now too, to Littlemiss41andfabulous!

Take care everyone x

Fingers crossed @October1979 xx

Oh I'm so sorry @October1979 I'll still keep my fingers tightly crossed for you 🤞🏻