TTC #1, cycle 13 and fed up! Whose with me?

@notyetamumbuttrying yes DH has friends who are both very overweight who conceived despite 2 forms of contraception 🤷🏻‍♀️ Hopefully your DH will get his appointment soon. It just shows that the advice to "just relax" really is complete bullshit!

@lucyrp if you struggle to lose weight that can be due to a hormonal imbalance that you can't control, so definitely don't feel like that is something you are doing wrong 💐 I know that I can lose weight (well I did last year for my wedding dress!) so that is something I can have a go at trying in the meantime.

The moral of my story is really that sometimes we can't control what our body and hormones are doing. And that's not our fault, so we shouldn't feel like we should be more relaxed or taking various supplements to try and fix it.

@CurbsideProphet oh god this just tells me I need to lose weight 😫 was trying to talk myself into the fact that my body is fine but the last couple of days but I've been stressing and my bmi is 27 which is overweight ☹️ as hard as i try to eat healthy and exercise I still can't lose weight

Thanks @CurbsideProphet very interesting indeed! I'm 2 stone overweight so that's a bit awks 😂 I do think genes has a lot to play in this as I know plenty of overweight women who conceived naturally. My issue is with sperm though as I do ovulate every cycle and all bloods and scan were fine. Dh had his urologist appointment today. He had a blood test and will get an ultrasound on his balls. The dr had a look and couldn't see a varicocele so that was reassuring! I'm glad the appointment went well and you feel better now. Let's hope they give you clomid to get the ovulation going! X

Hello All 👋🏻
@Theawkwardblonde
@notyetamumbuttrying
@Monday55
@Rosie189

And everyone else who might be reading.

I hope everyone is ok?
I've had my initial appointment with the fertility specialist and it was v interesting. Contrary to what my GP said he doesn't think that I have PCOS. My testosterone isn't high enough. He does agree that I'm not ovulating and that I need medication to get this started again. I should be getting this next week to start on my next cycle.

He gave me some advice that I'll share in case anyone is reading this while waiting for a referral.

He first said that if a couple both have average fertility then it would likely take them 9 months to conceive. If the woman is just a stone overweight (as I now am) that can reduce her fertility by half, meaning that it could take 18 months to conceive. This has really shocked me. I'm upset with myself, but obviously I can't go back and change things 😬 I'm working hard at eating healthily now, as I have 3 weeks until my next cycle starts. But obviously I wish I didn't need to.

He also said that pregnancy / fertility supplements are a waste of money and anyone who advertises them as necessary is only doing so for their own bank balance. The only supplements we should be taking are folic acid and vitamin D (as we're all deficient - mine is due to other medication, but most people are anyway especially in winter).

Interestingly he said a miscarriage can actually cause the body to stop ovulating as normal. Mine was so early (literally the day after my bfp), but he said even that can be such a shock for the body your cycle can change. And then that extra stone on top will also have an impact on ovulation.

The important thing is that stress does not have any effect on fertility. Unlike what my original GP and gynaecologist were trying to tell me! He said that you cannot relax yourself pregnant or relax your body into ovulating. This made me feels lots better, as I was being made it feel that it was my own fault for not being relaxed enough.

Hopefully that's a bit helpful and / or reassuring to read 🙂

@Theawkwardblonde I have a phone appointment with a fertility specialist this week. I'm on the NHS list to see him in January but I don't feel like I can wait. My bloods showed likely PCOS so we need to take action especially as I'll be 35 before Christmas. Luckily we only have a few cousins who are pregnant. DH's friends already have children (literally all of them) while I have a lot of friends not interested in having babies.

I know how you feel. I don't know how to keep doing this. DH is gutted by the whole thing now and doing his SA on Thursday (plus delivering it to the lab 14 miles away in the strict time scales) was so stressful.
DH and I have both said that even if I do get pregnant we wouldn't be able to relax. We'll be so afraid that something will happen and we'll be back to the beginning again.

No one seems to talk about the absolute misery of ttc after 6+ months. You just get told it will happen. Even a GP and NHS gynaecologist told me to "just relax". My bloods have since shown likely pcos and a scan showed a fibroid. I can't relax both of those things away, so it's insulting that the first thing medical professionals do is to assume that there's nothing wrong and we're just impatient / hysterical women. I'm so sad and frustrated by the whole thing.

And here's AF again. Cycle 14.
It's exhausting 😩

@Rosie189 I have slightly irregular cycles. I had to reschedule my bloods the day I got my LH surge. You could do OPK tests and calculate 1dpo starting 48hrs from the day you get LH surge. If you GP clinic isn't a a busy one 8days in advance should be enough to call in and make an appointment.

Does anyone have irregular cycles and had day 21 bloods?

My cycles have been a lot better the past 9 months and are now between 25-35 days (previous had between 17 - 55 day cycles). I’ve been booked in for day 21 but this might not be 7 days after I ovulate. The dr said I’d maybe have to repeat the bloods but not sure how it will be any better to work out when to get them done the month after. Just wondering if anyone’s had experience of that before?

@Monday55 good stuff, that's a great number! Yeah get him booked in ASAP as those results take two weeks to come back usually.

UPDATE: I'm currently 9DPO. The doctor called today with test results as promised. She said everything came back normal and my progesterone was 56 which is in the normal range too. I now have to get DH tested before she can refer us to the fertility clinic.

@Theawkwardblonde sensible decision! I remember you saying this now. Can totally understand your frustration with it all. Hope things turn around for you soon.

@CurbsideProphet at least not long to wait now! I consult dr google all the time and tell myself I have all sorts wrong with me 🙃 so I wouldn't worry. I'm pretty sure we all do it, it's too tempting not to!

@notyetamumbuttrying my GP thinks possible pcos and irregular ovulation because my testosterone and androgen are raised. Obviously I consulted Google and the internet suggested that Clomid and fibroids aren't a good mix. I have a medium subserosal fibroid. This is definitely a lesson in not consulting Dr Google 😬

@Theawkwardblonde I'm sorry about AF 💐

@Theawkwardblonde sorry darlin! Where are you up to with investigations again? Are you able to put some pressure on? I'm still waiting on my referral so intend on calling for a polite chase. I know they're dealing with a lot of Covid, but it's ok to do polite chases. It could just do the trick!

@CurbsideProphet where's your fibroid and how big? I've got one too but intramural and small so was told not to worry about it. Hope that won't affect getting clomid! So do you know you don't always ovulate then?

@notyetamumbuttrying it's only over the phone, but at least it's a start. I'm so anxious he won't be able to prescribe Clomid because I've got a fibroid 😩 Who knows that the NHS wait time would be to have a fibroid removed and I can't even imagine the private cost.
And so begins the spiralling!!

@CurbsideProphet hit the nail on the head there. It's such a headfuck! Glad you're appointment is next week though! Still waiting for ours but Dh has his urologist appointment next week so that's something at least!

TTC for this length of time such a strain I'm not surprised we're all feeling the stress of it in different ways. I switch between feeling optimistic that we're on our way now I have an appointment with a fertility specialist next week, but also very sad that it's come to this.
💐🍫🥧☕ for all.

@Theawkwardblonde sorry you’re going through such a rough time. I’m sure the bloods mix up hasn’t helped. Your feelings are totally valid. Maybe taking some time off from TTC wouldn’t be a bad idea. I can’t try every cycle as hubby works away and sometimes the break is really nice. Just to get some head space that not consumed by TTC. I have had a couple of emotional breakdowns over it all and definitely made me a bit grumpy with DH. Think it’s fairly normal for them to be less concerned. I don’t think their hormones make them quite as crazy about it and all and they don’t have to put up with the symptom spotting.

I had a phone consult with doctors today. I’m getting booked in for day 21 bloods and DH is to organise an appointment and look at getting SA organised.