TTC for 2 years & nothing...

Really hope you can get some answers if you do opt to visit your GP, OP.

Like you, we don't want IVF (turned it down) but after investigations now we know what the issues are and just having the knowledge is so helpful.

Best of luck x

Super patronising and unhelpful.

I feel your pain 💔 We've been trying since August 2018 and never had a sniff of a positive pregnancy test. We've had tests (bloods, sperm analysis, HSG, ultrasound) and all "normal" so diagnosed with unexplained infertility. Had a consultation last month and got told we were being referred on for treatment. Appears they haven't even made the referral after 1+ month and the clinic we're being referred too has a 3 month backlog 😑 Feeling very frustrated today. Sending lots of virtual hugs your way. I haven't read through all the replies - it may be a good idea to have a visit to the GP. I know you've mentioned you "don't want to bother them" and whilst I see where you're coming from, coronavirus is not the only thing people are dealing with right now and you are within your rights to access the support you need so try not to diminish your problems/desire to seek help because of this xxx

And @stabal I fully agree with you on the try and relax/it'll happen approach. It's the least helpful and most infuriating thing anyone can say to someone TTC. It also lays the blame on the woman - implying if only she'd not stressed so much she would have been pregnant by now, which is far from the case.

@ReginaPhalange90 Please go to the GP, there are so many things that can be the cause for this and that can be sorted without having to do any invasive procedures!

I'd add that if you PCOS then temping would work a lot better than OPKs for you to determine when/if you ovulate.

There's absolutely no reason why you should have to wait two years for the GP to action anything - if you suspected PCOS you could have had this looked into 18 months ago!

@Stabal You’re welcome. 🙃

@ReginaPhalange90 Please do keep us updated. Sorry for wading in earlier, as you can see I have a firm view on the “Just relax” crowd and people who don’t listen. 😂
What I actually came on the thread to say was please don’t worry about going to the GP. I too put it off for a long time and it was actually MUCH more straight forward / less invasive than I thought it would be. And just because you have some tests doesn’t mean that you have to do IVF etc. if you don’t want to.
Best of luck to you on your journey.

@RiverRiot @twinkledag thank you!

@ReginaPhalange90 I wish you all the luck, definitely speak to a GP and start with some bloods and go from there 🤞

Another one who is asking please don't tell people who have been TTC to relax!

Extremely unhelpful advice! And I've never been told once in my 9 years of TTC at various fertility clinics (in England and abroad!) to relax!

Oh do bore off CausingChaos2 (and what an apt name you’ve chosen there).

You’re the dog with the bone here and you’ve already derailed OPs thread, which incidentally isn’t about you either.

You’ve been told repeatedly by various posters that you’re being unhelpful yet you continue to insist on being obtuse.

Women fall pregnant in war zones and during incredibly stressful times in their careers and lives in general so why don’t you back off and sling your cockamamie “science” and your aggressive attitude in the bin where they belong.

Omg ladies, seriously stop bickering😱

Try reflexology.

Bloody hell. Dog with a bone much. I’m not going to derail the OPs thread with you but I’ll leave this for you to mull over:

The Science Behind Stress and Fertility
Several recent studies have found links between the women’s levels of day-to-day stress and lowered chances of pregnancy. For example, women whose saliva had high levels of alpha-amylase, an enzyme that marks stress, took 29% longer to get pregnant compared to those who had less.

“Your body is smart, it knows that (periods of stress) aren’t good times to have a baby,” says Domar, a longtime infertility researcher who also is director of mind/body services at Boston IVF.

...Today, researchers widely accept that stress and fertility are connected.

link

@CausingChaos2 are you not seeing everyone else saying the same thing?

[quote Stabal]@CausingChaos2 I'm not the only one in this thread that has said it's not helpful, maybe that should mean something to you. You're being hostile when I'm just trying to make you aware of how frustrating it is to hear.[/quote]
Hostile?

I think your personal sensitivity is coming into play here. Like I said, this thread isn’t about you. The OP didn’t seem offended by my post, but you’re quite keen on continuing to argue the toss on her thread.

Really not helpful to be told to relax.

@ReginaPhalange90 I am a long term TTCer and would echo what the others are saying about going to the GP. There are other things that can be tried long before having to think about IVF.

I understand that making that initial appointment can be a little daunting but once you get that first step out of the way it is much easier.

And to add "just relax" comments are so unhelpful, it may come from a place of meaning well but please don't ever say this to a friend who is struggling to conceive - no amount of relaxing is going to cure PCOS, endo, male factor etc.

@CausingChaos2 I'm not the only one in this thread that has said it's not helpful, maybe that should mean something to you. You're being hostile when I'm just trying to make you aware of how frustrating it is to hear.

[quote Stabal]@CausingChaos2 it's not helpful though. It's incrediblely frustrating to be told to relax. Stress alone doesn't cause infertility, that's not the reason they recommend having regular sex rather than tracking. I'm only advising to be mindful of your words, hearing "just relax and it'll happen" for 2 years of my life led me to tears more times than I can count.[/quote]
It might not be helpful to you Stabal but this isn’t your thread. And ‘just relax and it will happen’ is not what I said, so perhaps don’t quote me with your own words.

@ReginaPhalange90 I'm sorry you're going through this struggle, it does become incredibly upsetting when everyone seems to be having babies but you...been there...cried lots.

I echo everyone else saying to see your GP.
I also just wanted to say don't panic that it does mean IVF just yet.
Obviously it could depend on outcome of tests to see what may be an issue, but there are also oral drugs (Clomid) which can help ovulation. I'm no GP, but just wanted to say there are non-invasive options too.

Good luck x

OP it's a rubbish feeling I know, I've been there too. Please go see a doctor ASAP. You are in your 30's and have already been trying a long time and you have irregular periods. You need some tests.

@CausingChaos2 yes you do have the right to post what you like, but telling some to relax when they've been trying unsuccessfully TTC for a long time is incredibly frustrating to hear and not at all helpful. If it was as simple as relaxing there would be a lot less infertility around!

I’m approaching my third birthday of significant disappointment that I’m another year older and no closer to becoming a mum.

The first birthday after we were really trying was probably the worst. I’m in my mid/late 30s so I definitely don’t think you’re yet at the point that time is running out for you. But knowing where you stand with a few blood tests would make you feel that you had some constructive support.

I was diagnosed with PCOS in my late teens at university but I’ve never received treatment specifically for it. But it means we don’t really know if I’m ovulating. Despite 4 sets of bloods the docs still aren’t sure.

I’ve tried acupuncture and hated it. I’ve been on 2 rounds of clomid and after it gave me dermatitis my dr now has me on tamoxifen- commonly used to treat breast cancer hormonally but this is just a very short dose and has shown to increase chances when used to treat fertility.

Until this year my periods ranged from 33-72 days. The longer cycles were heartbreaking when I had to test and get the BFN but no understanding of why my period was late.

This year I’ve naturally treated my hay fever which I think has helped to regulate my periods, along with the medication. I’ve all but cut out any essential use of pain relief. Basically trying to limit things that could influence my cycle. The only thing I seem unable to cut out is sugar. And I know if I could shift a stone my odds of a BFP would greatly increase. I should add I also quit my job last year in the hope that reducing stress would help... 10 months later and while I’m happier it hadn’t helped me conceive.

The TTC Journey can be so long and lonely. There’s so many of us suffering in silence. And so many factors at play. It’s hard to understand when it looks so easy to everyone else. All we have to cling to is the trust and hope that someday our time will come. Xxx

@CausingChaos2 it's not helpful though. It's incrediblely frustrating to be told to relax. Stress alone doesn't cause infertility, that's not the reason they recommend having regular sex rather than tracking. I'm only advising to be mindful of your words, hearing "just relax and it'll happen" for 2 years of my life led me to tears more times than I can count.

Hi @ReginaPhalange90

Sorry to hear about your journey... I've also been TTC quite a long time (since July 2019) and have never seen those 2 lines and can totally understand how you feel when everyone around you seems to manage right away. It's tough!

I'd echo was the other posters are saying and encourage you to go to the GP. A simple blood test showed that my thyroid levels were off and there was no way my body could handle a pregnancy - knowing that and taking medication for it put me in a much better place, mentally, and although it's still a difficult journey, at least I know that I'm fixing what I can.

I don't know much about PCOS but 2 of my close friends conceived with PCOS after a bit of a struggle. Don't give up!