Disappointed | Mumsnet

Timetobeslow · 2020-09-08T08:14:18+00:00

BFN on clearblue and FRER this morning. Period due today or tomorrow. I have been having slight nausea and really thought this was a sign. Annoyed at myself having wasted money on the tests. [angry]

unCliche · 18/09/2020 11:08

I'm not upset. I accepted that I wasn't pregnant before AF came. I just didn't like being in limbo with AF suddenly stopping. But now I know I'm not. So I just have to wait for one more AF and then we start trying properly! GP is booked up until October so I'll just wait to see how this cycle goes and whether the cramping stops.
Oh get well soon! Kids are always catching bugs, and now we're approaching the colder months, it's only going to get worse. I hope it's nothing too serious?
The thought of getting so little sleep is not fun! I get so cranky when tired, I guess I should cherish these months before I have a little one keeping me awake all night and day!

Original poster

Timetobeslow · 18/09/2020 10:20

Oh I was so hopeful for you. Are you upset? Hopefully things resolve itself? Are you worried?
Sadly we all have fallen sick probably a bug my son caught from school and they were up being sick and crying all night, barely got any sleep so just came to bed for a little sleep. I am on annual leave, back to work in Monday. In case you are wondering why I am sleeping at this time of the day!

Once you have your baby, your bed will become a long forgotten memory

I haven’t replied properly to your last message but will do

OP posts:

unCliche · 18/09/2020 09:23

Yup, just tested. BFN as expected. Still got a stitch in my side so I'll book an appointment with my GP. Only God knows what my husband's sperm has done to me. Little things probably swimming around causing havoc!
I guess you were up early for the school run? That's definitely not something I'm looking forward to. I love my bed.

Original poster

Timetobeslow · 18/09/2020 07:38

Hey did you test?
I also want the big house
Kids are 4.5 and 2.5. Boy just started school last week. Will come back later as I can hear them fighting!!

OP posts:

unCliche · 17/09/2020 21:27

I'm good thanks, yourself?
I'm not too sure because the doctor said that the vitamins shouldn't be affecting my cycles so I don't really understand what's happening with my body. I'm expecting a BFN anyway so don't really have any expectations but I'll let you know how it goes. Maybe it'll be an unexpected surprise.
I didn't even think about the bad news side of going for a scan alone but the thought of it is so painful, my goodness, the poor women who may have gone through something like that during this pandemic. My heart breaks for them! Just done a google search on a harmony test, never heard of it before. I don't think I'd do one, there wouldn't be much I could do to change my child's genetics but I get it's worth doing one for the peace of mind and also preparing for anything that may come up in the test. Have you booked your test yet?
What are your thoughts on finding out the baby's sex early? Do you think knowing makes things easier, like clothes shopping? I'm not too fussed really but I've never been pregnant before so maybe there are some benefits that I'm overlooking.

You guys are in a really good position with your house deposit. We're looking at houses around 450k but have only managed to save around 50k, if we give ourselves a few more months we might be able to get 15% so will probably have more mortgage options soon. We did think about whether to get a starter home or go straight for our forever home and I think for us, we'd rather go straight for the big house and not think about moving for at least 10 years. Plus we love hosting so space is really important to us. I have a huge family and his family are in another country so we're also thinking about where everyone will stay when they visit! Plus we both work from home, so office space is a must. A big house just makes sense

I forget that when moving, you need to think about things like kids, their schools, their extracurriculars. You can clearly tell I'm not a mother yet! Haha! But you're right, you need to make good decisions for everyone. I guess it's a decision you have to make with your children as well, see what they want. How old are they?

Original poster

Timetobeslow · 17/09/2020 18:47

Hey how are you? Do you think the cramping is to do with the pregnacare tablets you were taking which changed your period? Keen to hear about your result in the morning
Oh that’s terrible about being alone during the scans, it’s horrible if bad news are given. Think partners or one other person should def be allowed esp for 12 and 20 weeks scans which are so important.
Will you be having a harmony test? I usually have one and also find the sex of the baby super early like at 10 weeks. My husband isn’t keen at this time but I do want to know so guess who wins hahahaha
It will be a pretty amazing time for you and your husband for the first scan! It’s like watching a miracle on a screen! At least private places are allowing partners in otherwise will be a pretty miserable time for many women. Pregnancy is already so taxing on a woman and having to go through it all alone is pretty miserable.

Oh yea def give the pineapple a go! Might be nothing, might be something. Guess we will know when you test

We do have over 100k plus equity in our current property but it doesn’t appear to be enough to get a decent house. All the houses which were 400k a year ago, have shot up to 500k. It’s absolutely crazy and the best thing is I think to sit and wait for the market to calm down a bit. The only concern about moving away is the kids have all these clubs and the school is outstanding so will have to lose all of this and restart again plus all their friends are here. I don’t know.

I love how you have described Reading. It sounds like you have reached home and you love the place. Don’t worry, you will be okay to buy as long as you have a minimum of 15% deposit and have stable jobs. You don’t have to buy a great place to start with. Your starter home can be a one bed flat as long as it’s in a great location near amenities and it doesn’t require a lot of work, have a long lease, service charges aren’t huge, you can sell it within 2/3 years and will make some money out of it and can then move to a bigger place. You can have a baby in a one bed flat. Start small and you will be fine. The first step is the hardest but you have everything going for you and everything should work out and fall into place for you.

OP posts:

unCliche · 17/09/2020 12:27

October couldn't come soon enough! But then I'd have to go through the dreaded TWW again! Funnily enough, this menstrual cycle has been so strange I had to talk to a doctor. My period ended after 2.5 days, much lighter and shorter than usual and the cramping in my ovaries and lower back hasn't stopped since I last ovulated, which was 3 weeks ago. I don't think I'm pregnant but she said I should take a test with FMU so tomorrow morning I'll use a FRER and see if anything comes of it, though I doubt it. If BFN and still cramping, I'll have to go and get checked out.
I think I would hate to have my first scan alone. It would be such a special moment that I'd want to share it with my husband. If the rules don't change by the time I'm pregnant, I think we'll have to go private. I'd rather pay than have my husband miss out on it. I think it's a blanket ban because my neighbours are first time parents and they couldn't go in together for their NHS scan so booked a private appointment.
Oh wow, you've had a lot of scans but it's good to know that the hospitals were really thorough when looking after you and your pregnancies and your children are fine and I have my fingers crossed for this one too. Giving birth alone would be a nightmare, even if my husband couldn't be there I'd want a family member or close friend so I'm sorry you had to go through it alone during your daughters birth but I guess getting her out was the priority and the safest thing to do.
I've seen posts here and there mentioning pineapple. I'll have to give that a go, definitely wouldn't hurt to try

Reading is a great place to live. I really like it. I still remember the first time I was in Reading, it literally felt like home. I felt really comfortable and I'm happy to stay here for the foreseeable future. You should definitely consider it. It's got a good mix of people and great schools including grammar schools. The connection to London is good like you mentioned and I find it very easy to drive round the M4/M25 to visit my family in London. How are you finding the mortgage side of things? I'm guessing you have equity in your current home so can put down a bigger deposit but do you find it's getting harder to get one? I'm really worried we'll struggle to buy.

Original poster

Timetobeslow · 16/09/2020 22:34

You will def be knocked up by the end of October!
You will be here sharing the news very soon. You are young and healthy and there’s no reason why it shouldn’t happen after this cycle for you. The folic acid is good enough and ha you won’t be needing a year’s worth!
Oh god yes exactly what we found with the house prices. It’s all gone absolutely crazy. It’s mostly to do with the stamp duty holiday I guess. Oh Reading is only an hour away from us on the motorway and we did think if we get priced out of our area, we can move there as there’s a direct line to Paddington station for me to commute to work and the commute isn’t too long. We might revisit that in a year if we cannot find something within our budget in our area.

Will you be upset about having a scan alone? I am thinking that you will as it’s the first time for you and you do want your husband there.
For me it doesn’t bother me as I have had loads of scans by myself. With my daughter I was under the fetal medicine unit as she was always measuring small so I was being scanned every two weeks from 12 weeks. Actually she was so small they couldn’t even see her head properly during the 12 weeks scan and they had to call me to come back to measure her again. My husband also missed her birth as she in distress and had to come out quickly so by the time he rushed down to the hospital, she was already here. I also had my first scan at 5+5 weeks on my own with her as I work close to Harley street so was easier to go during my lunch break. Same with my son, I had loads of scans by myself. I am okay with the scans and appointments, it’s the birth part that worries me if I am left on my own. Do they have any special rules that they let the partners in for first time parents or it’s a blanket no no for very one? You must be worried about going by yourself.
I read somewhere that pineapple helps with the implantation so make sure to eat lots of them during your TWW. Not sure if it works or not but I did eat a small pack a day with my daughter and this pregnancy.

OP posts:

unCliche · 16/09/2020 21:05

Haha that was what I imagined TTC would be, lots of DTD! But now that I've paid a lot for this bracelet I better be knocked up within a month of using it . I was initially taking pregnacare but I think it really messed with my cycle! I was getting new PMS symptoms and AF is much lighter than usual. I feel like it'll be ending any time soon! So I've bought a year's supply of folic acid - that shouldn't mess with my body too much.
Ugh! The market sucks! Everything that should be within our budget is waaay out of it and everything that has half a chance of potential is snapped up within a day! We're first time buyers too so there are basically no high LTV mortgages and the only one that exists has such a high rate! We can't win!
We live in Reading, so we're barely escaping London prices. I'm actually from London but there's zero chance I'd be able to afford anything there. I won't even be able to afford my parent's house and they earned a lot less than what my husband and I earn when they bought it! It sucks.

That's lovely! Glad to see that your pregnancy is progressing! I'm sure you have nothing to worry about but I'm happy for you that you're taking precautions and getting yourself checked out! Will you be doing the scan alone? Because as far as I know, partners aren't allowed in due to COVID (which is absolutely silly and heartbreaking).

Original poster

Timetobeslow · 16/09/2020 19:13

This one. The early stages are so unpredictable and really goes so slow. Around me, we don’t have to go to GP to refer to the maternity services. I can self refer. I will probably have an early scan around 6/7 weeks and if all okay then refer myself to the hospital.

OP posts:

Original poster

Timetobeslow · 16/09/2020 19:09

Hey! That’s superb news, really pleased for you that your husband is on board. October is only around the corner. You must be very excited! Keep taking your folic acid Does the bracelet help? I have heard of them but never used them myself. Fingers crossed they work for you, although I don’t think you need any help, just plenty of DTD
That’s the thing about the market right now, we were in the process of selling and buying a house nearer to my son’s school but all the house prices have been so inflated that we had to pull out. Are you in London? The house prices in London are crazy right now. And they are going so fast too.
I did one of those weeks indicator test today and it shows 2-3 weeks which is correct I think as I am only 5+1. I felt a bit better and hoping for the best.

OP posts:

unCliche · 16/09/2020 18:24

Yup! My husband has agreed to start trying for real in October! Yay!!
I accidentally bought an Ava fertility bracelet (ended up being the highest bidder on eBay while I was still contemplating whether I wanted one or not - I was leaning towards not wanting one but oh well! Got it for half the price of a brand new one) so hopefully that'll help speed up the conception process.
Yeah, that's the plan. The housing market isn't favourable to us right now so we'll keep an eye on it but will continue saving until we find a place that's good value for money.
How are things with you? Are your test lines getting stronger?

Original poster

Timetobeslow · 16/09/2020 13:43

Have you managed to persuade your partner
27 is a nice age and if you have a babe by 28, you can have a longer gap if you want to have more than 1, the longer gap reduces the childcare costs and you can still work if you wish to. So it’s a great age all around to start.
You can still save to buy etc when baby is young as you can bring the baby up as cheap as possible and they won’t notice! I think if you are in stable relationship, are financially able to support a child then you should go for it.

OP posts:

unCliche · 14/09/2020 14:21

It's alright! It was more of a "I've never been accidently pregnant before so let's try and see if we can get ourselves accidently pregnant - but on purpose" kind of thing.
Next time, we'll take it more seriously and I'll actually look out for things like ovulation and DTD more than once .
We both just really surprised ourselves at how excited we would be if we actually did get pregnant. I'm 27 so have a little time, I'm trying to convince him to start trying after AF again because the thought of having a kid without a house didn't scare us so we might as well.

Alright, keep monitoring the situation and I know it's easier said than done but stay positive. And if you feel that something is wrong, then definitely see your GP or call 111. Better to be safe than sorry! And keep me updated too! I'd love to hear how things go.

Original poster

Timetobeslow · 14/09/2020 13:04

Thank you for your lovely words.
Really sorry to hear that AF arrived. Would you not consider TTC whilst trying to buy a house at the same time? If you have age on your side then it’s okay to wait but I find the waiting bit the hardest to get through. Are you okay with the waiting?
Will hold off the GP for a few weeks as not much can be done at this stage,

OP posts:

unCliche · 14/09/2020 10:16

Sorry to hear that things aren't progressing how you want them to. Have you booked an appointment with your GP? I think that would be the best way to get the answers you need. At least then you can get a blood test and some confirmation. Having no symptoms isn't necessarily a bad thing but I know what you mean, you always want to feel something to have that security that everything is still OK.
For me, AF was a little late but showed this morning. So I won't be trying again for a long while, but seeing as it was my first time, I guess I shouldn't be too surprised. A little disappointed but I'm OK with it

Original poster

Timetobeslow · 14/09/2020 09:48

Hey how are you? Did you test? I am sorry it’s taken a while to come back, I have been really down and upset as my tests are not very strong in colour. I feel like I should resigned myself for a MC to happen. I just don’t know how to feel about it. I don’t have any symptoms but never had any with my two successful pregnancies. It’s a weird limbo to be stuck in.

OP posts:

unCliche · 11/09/2020 09:58

Amazing! See! I told you not to lose hope! And I'm sure the line will only get darker and darker! And congratulations too! I wish you a really healthy 9 months

I think I'll get a BFN this month as I have my usual AF boobs. They've been getting progressively more painful the closer to AF I get so it feels like this won't be my month. We probably won't try again until next year as we want to buy a house but at least it was fun trying!

But IF it was a BFP I'll just tell him straight away, I think I'll be too excited to go through with a well thought out surprise .

Original poster

Timetobeslow · 11/09/2020 07:46

Thank you, the mc was before my daughter and although it was traumatic, I feel I wouldn’t have my daughter now if I didn’t have the mc, if that makes sense.

Have you got a nice way to surprise your other half if you get a positive test? The first time is always so exciting

Thanks for your encouragement, no period which means I am late now. I have a faint positive which came within time on a clear blue. Now just need to wait and see what happens as it’s all out of my control now.

Let me know how you get on when you test and thanks for chatting to me

OP posts:

unCliche · 10/09/2020 17:04

Sorry to hear about your previous MC.
Pregnancies won't always be the same. I've read about people who have had completely different symptoms with each of their pregnancies .
Maybe take a few days off from testing, just to not add to your stress and do something that'll relax you.

Yeah this will be my first time trying for my first dc. We didn't really do it properly as we DTD only once but sometimes that's all it takes so let's see. Thank you!

Original poster

Timetobeslow · 10/09/2020 14:09

I don’t think will be getting a bfp at all as I have had 3 pregnancies ( 2 kids and one Mc ) and always got a bfp a couple of days before. Think I am just late as been quite stressed last month. I have been tracking my periods since my first child was born and have never been late. Oh fancy that the first month I try to fall pregnant and I am late that same month due to stress
Will this be your first dc? Today could have been too early to test for you, still 3 more days to go and fingers crossed you get your positive

OP posts:

unCliche · 10/09/2020 13:18

Oooo it's getting ever so close! I'm due this weekend and have been getting BFN.

But at least AF hasn't shown her ugly face for you!! So that's something! On another thread I'm on a lady just got a BFP after 12 days being late for AF so you never know! Could just take you a while to get your BFP

Original poster

Timetobeslow · 10/09/2020 07:27

Cycle day 28, BFN and no period. If AF doesn’t arrive by weekend then def late. Just want it to hurry up so can try again. How are you all getting on?

OP posts:

Original poster

Timetobeslow · 08/09/2020 16:52

Fingers crossed for you and keep us updated. Not long to go to test now

OP posts:

unCliche · 08/09/2020 16:45

Things are ok with me, I've had about 1000 symptoms that I've never had before but don't want to get ahead of myself either because I'm taking Pregnacare and that might be impacting my cycle and creating new PMS symptoms! AF isn't due until the weekend so I have a few more days to wait before expecting a BFP.