Preconception planners - still planning

@MayDay27 19th/20th December is likely to be ovulation, so from the 14th onwards I guess. I'll wait and see what DH thinks nearer the time, it's his call. I feel the same as you about drinking, but tbh I think even if there's a chance I conceive around the 19th/20th December I'll still have a few glasses of Prosecco over Christmas Day because my dad has already started asking about whether we're going to have another and I know that a little bit of alcohol wouldn't do any harm so early on. It's just easier all round and I'm a god awful liar... literally no poker face at all.

Disclaimer - some people breeze through pregnancy with no aches, pains or struggles so don't let the next bit worry you!

Personally, I only got to 33+2 and I wasn't exactly huge on delivery day but I was already starting to feel the effort of getting myself up off of the bed or out of a chair. Also turning over in the middle of the night was really difficult. Oh, and having to sleep on your left or right side all the time was tough on my hips cause I'm not naturally a side sleeper. Walking anywhere starts getting tough too. It's basically just a huge strain on all your muscles and joints cause it's effectively putting on loads of weight over a really short period of time. Plus your body releases a load of Relaxin as you get further on in pregnancy, it's important to allow muscles and ligaments to stretch ready for birth, but when you combine that with the extra weight it just makes everything a lot harder. Also, DS was 4lb 11oz when he was born and he did not feel that little in those last few days. My poor ribs and my lungs were definitely starting to feel cramped.

Being fitter (aerobically and muscle wise) and lighter will definitely make pregnancy easier to get through. Oh and not to mention labour, that's pretty physically intensive so being fit and healthy is likely to help that side of things too.

Morning @Curiosity101 that's exciting! Do you know when your fertile window would be for a September baby? I think from this month I'm also going to cut out the alcohol which is going to be hard to do around Xmas time!! In what ways did you find pregnancy tough the first time? Since it's our first time TTC next cycle I have literally no idea what to expect! I hope I will try and keep up with exercise in some form.

Morning all - Happy Sunday! Hope everyone is having a nice lazy day so far . DS slept in until 6.50am which is unheard of , although I did have to go in at 5am to tell him it was still the middle of the night... but he listened and went back to sleep.

DH and I have been talking. He has brought up the possibility of a September baby... So we may well be TTC as of next cycle, I've officially left DH in charge of contraception so it's his call.

I'm excited by the idea but I really wanted to lose a few more lbs. Pregnancy is really tough going so although I'm only 1lb over my initial pregnancy weight I really wanted to get lower before conceiving. I think I'll need to double down on my efforts, cut out alcohol completely and just see where my weight ends up. Who knows how long it'll actually take to get a BFP so I could be worrying about a none issue.

How's everyone doing this morning?

@French2020 Welcome!

I think I was probably similar to you when I fell pregnant with my son. I struggled to really enjoy pregnancy for one reason or another. I also struggled to bond with him whilst pregnant because of my anxiety. Admittedly we did have a lot of issues so I'm probably atypical, but I felt that way long before I could've know I'd have such a rough pregnancy so it wasn't based in logic.

I do think being a bit nervous/apprehensive about pregnancy and giving birth is normal, but not to the point it should completely over shadow your day to day. Personally I'd recommend seeking a couple of counselling sessions if you feel like this is likely to overshadow your day to day life? It might help you to work through some of those anxieties and hopefully end up in a place where you're happy/excited by the idea of pregnancy and birth.

Personally I'm equal parts excited and terrified about the idea of another pregnancy. But I just love DS too much and since having him I can't imagine a family life without two children (DH feels the same). So I've kept in contact with the therapist I had after DS was born and will be keeping on top of my anxieties from the get go.

@CookieMonster3001 I couldn't believe how good I was this month waiting to start my OPKs. This is day 4 of me doing them and I just hit what is likely to be my peak. I can tell even without OPKs though, simply based on my mood 😄. I don't think DH knows what's hit him for those few days of the month, especially considering how low my libido was when I was on the pill 😂.

I'm sorry to hear about the BFN. There's something extra special about a Christmas BFP though, so fingers crossed 🤞.

@MayDay27 I know what you mean. I think I was the same when TTC DS. I'm a little bit more chilled this time. My main motivator right now is mostly around ditching condoms. I'm really not a fan, I feel like they take all the spontaneity out of things but it didn't seem worth going back onto hormonal birth control for such a short window.

Your weekend plans sound lovely. I imagine it'll be similar in our house this weekend.

Hi all,

My husband and I agreed to start ttc in January. I do want a child and look forward to family life, but the thought of being pregnant makes me feel more anxious than excited. Eg possibility of miscarriage, something going wrong in the birth, feeling like I would be leaving work in the lurch. Does anyone else feel like this? My sister is pregnant and I know about 8 other people who are and they don’t seem to have these worries. Or maybe they do and hide it too?

@Curiosity101 fingers crossed your OH is right and it's first time!! I am just so impatient to start!

We've got a few decorations up now and this weekend since the weather is looking awful we are going to sit in and watch some Xmas films!

@CookieMonster3001 what is the SMEP plan? I've seen a lot of people mention it!

Morning Ladies!! I have been so busy, dont get much time to check this at the moment!

@sunflowersaremyfav93 I am doing a masters in Human Resource Management. It is pretty intense at the moment!! Next cycle we have decided to go with the flow as much as we can. SMEP would be way too much for OH, we just about DTD once a week normally, I don't think he would be too keen on how much we have to do it on that plan. We have decided though, next cycle we are going to try DTD in the mornings instead as he feels he has more energy then instead of in the evening, so will see how that goes! I've ran out of OPKS so not really going to bother buying any more as I have ovulated either CD 12 or CD 13 for the last 6 months, so I figure we will just DTD around that time.

@curiosity101 its so hard! No matter how many times I say I am not going to POAS, I just do it anyway. Its sometimes just out of boredom! But hoping next month I can avoid it as I am not buying any more. I have a couple of CB ovulation sticks left that I might use but just going to leave it as that.

13DPO today and temps are still quite above coverline, but they are slowly dropping, and another negative cheapie and FRER today. I told myself today would be the last day I test and if its negative, I am having a drink tonight! haha so looking forward to a large brandy! It has been a hell of a week!

Fingers crossed for a XMAS BFP! my period is estimated to start on 21st December, so that would be a lovely present!

@MayDay27 I conceived on the second cycle after coming off of the pill. To say I was shocked was an understatement. DH is convinced I'll conceive first time this time 🙄😅.

@sunflowersaremyfav93 Aww, I totally get where you're coming from. DH has the day off and is bringing the decorations down today. I've had Christmas songs playing all morning too 😄. Try not to wish the time away though! I know you're ready to get started but you'll never get this time back. Enjoy what is hopefully your last Christmas without a baby 🤞. And I don't know about you but I haven't even begun Christmas shopping yet. Except for DS... His has all been wrapped and ready since October 🤣🙊

@Curiosity101 I'm def in an adjustment period of working more and sleeping less 😂
I can't wait for them to have been and gone and to start trying, I'm really excited now I've processed my uterus issue and read positive stories. Haha I'm with you on the Christmas front..we put our tree up last weekend, let's get this year over and done with 😂

@Curiosity101 that sounds perfect weather wise! This is my first time so I have no idea how long it will take! Can I ask how long it took you the first time?

@sunflowersaremyfav93 I'm sure it'll all be worth it You're probably in quite a big adjustment period too now that you've been promoted and have Archie at home . Those two AF's we're 'waiting' for will have been and gone in no time at all. I keep thinking Christmas seems to be coming up very quickly. It's 4 weeks tomorrow that I finish for Christmas I'm ridiculously excited for Christmas and have already been listening to Christmas songs this past week!

@MayDay27 For me my first fertile window we'd be TTC in is predicated for 17/01, ovulation around 20th or 21st Jan. So a few weeks after you. If we did conceive then it would mean the baby would be due a couple of days before DSs original due date which might feel a bit strange given how early he arrived. But it was a great time of year to pregnant! Cool weather in the first trimester when you feel sick, then the warmer weather in the second trimester when you're not too big yet and can still enjoy it, then the weather starts cooling off as you enter the third trimester and are constantly warm due to being very pregnant.

Congratulations on the promotion @CookieMonster3001

I'm really sorry to read about the hard decision you and your OH have made @BeeBuzzz 

@Curiosity101 and @sunflowersaremyfav93 I think the first fertile window we will be TTC in will start on the 28/12 (according to Ovia) with ovulation around the 02/01! Do you know the dates for when you'll start TTC?

Woohoo we're almost there @Curiosity101
There is quite a bit more project type stuff and I do myself rather than support, my workload is a joke now though I'm so tired and feel like with having a puppy as well I have not much down time but I wouldn't change it. I love having him 🥰

@CookieMonster3001 Thanks, I'm definitely going to get back on it once I'm healthy. And wow, I didn't realise you were working and studying. That does sound like hard work! What are you working towards?

I will definitely be a POAS addict. I was relatively good this month and didn't start OPKs until I saw EWCM though, so maybe I'm getting better . I did get DH to hide the pregnancy tests though, cause once we start TTC I can't be trusted not to test early :D

@sunflowersaremyfav93 Haha, I'm glad I'm not the only one. I'm now 2 AFs away from TTC. And congratulations on the promotion! Do you have any new responsibilities as part of it?

@CookieMonster3001 Sounds so interesting though and how rewarding once you've graduated! What is your masters in?
Would you consider next cycle doing the sperm meet egg plan and doing no OPKs no peeing on sticks and see what happens?

@sunflowersaremyfav93 sometimes!! But currently working on employment law and government stuff which is a bit heavy, so having to do a couple of hours on the weekend as well which sucks!!
Totally right, I still have time, but tbh I have a gut feeling this isn't our month. Becoming a POAS addict, because I just took another test out of boredom and its still negative. Don't know why we do it to ourselves haha! Decided that if my temp drops tomorrow as predicted, no more testing. Will only consider doing a test if it stays high. Lucky the little dip tests are so bloody cheap lol

Oh wow @CookieMonster3001 that is an awful lot isn't it!! Do you get much time at the weekend to relax and that kind of thing? I really take my hat off to anyone that works and studies it must be so difficult!
Almost there thank god, I can't wait to start! You're 11DPO now right? I wouldn't rule anything else till big fat Aunt Flo arrives 😂

Hi Ladies, sorry for the absence!

@beebuzzz I am so sorry to hear that, big hugs to you! That must have been a really hard conversation to have but agree with others, you both have to be 100% in on the idea. Please do not feel you have to leave. Wishing you all the best and lots of blessings for you...xxx

@curiosity101 hey lovely, I tested this morning and still a BFN. Getting some period cramps and backache, so imagine that AF is on her way. My temp is still high (in fact its at the highest it has been this month) but fully expecting a massive drop tomorrow. And I am actually OK about it, I had a gut feeling this month wouldnt be the month, so looking forward to next month and hopefully a BFP for xmas! Sorry to hear you haven't been feeling well! This weather is rubbish and so many people are getting colds! 1lb to go is nothing.. you have got this!! You have done so amazing so far and I have no doubt you will get there!! Glad the meds are going well as well!

@sunflowersaremyfav93 I have been feeling OK! No real symptoms really apart from cramps that I have had since ovulation, they haven't really gone away and got worse in the last day, defo feel like AF cramps. I am feeling particularly stressed at the moment though, so I imagine that doesnt help. I feel a bit trapped in the house. Im working 8.30-6pm and then I go for a bit of a walk or do a workout at home, and then I am studying for my masters 7-10pm and just feel like I have no more motivation left in me!!Haha I remember out countdowns and now you only have 2 to go!! And I am glad you are feeling much better about everything. Congratulations on your promotion!! Just in time for xmas!

@romillytherabbit I take folic acid, vitamin D, omega 3 and evening primrose oil (until ovulation and then stop until AF arrives again)

I've added some conception vitamins to my Tesco order. I don't suppose it will hurt to start them.

Ah exciting! We can hold each others hands a bit in the TWW then!

Yes, I know what you mean. Ideally, I want to be in the best possible shape, but at the same time, I don't want to obsess about it and also need to stay calm and happy. That's important too I think.

I suffered a bereavement just before I fell pregnant with my dc though, so that's nonsense too!

Ooh not too long after me, we can be TWW buddies haha!!

I sometimes think oh it's sooo important and then other times I think about all the people that get pregnant by accident who live really unhealthy lives and try not to worry about it loads.

I think possibly April for us, but maybe before, depending on where we are with the house.

Starting Monday means you're doing a lot better than me then on the healthy habits front! Need to get back on it. It is hard at this time of year though as you say. And flipping lockdown. I haven't had any for ages. So that's something!

When are you starting @RomillyTheRabbit ? We're starting in Feb and I started taking supplements in July I think? I started folic and Vit d in July and then I started DHA and Coq10 in September.

I really hope so too @RomillyTheRabbit - it's my only motivation for trying to get fit and healthy... I mean I only restarted it monday I had a takeaway Friday night and then we ended up getting another Saturday which is very unlike us but yh it's so hard especially this time of year and lockdown on top of it!