TTC after MC - Aug/Sept 2020 (Thread 12)

@Northernsoul90 @MrsK21 @HappyVibes I’m actually finding it so hard to wait until you test and find out as well haha! But no early testing! Be strong!
@BEESY90 so sorry hun! That is absolutely disgraceful! I have my opinions on the NHS and sadly the stories I’ve read so far on here just prove that when it comes to pregnancy/miscarriage the service is so bad! Stay strong!!! You can do it!!!! Sending you lots of positive vibes!
As for me, I’m back home with OH but have home office so sat on my laptop. I thought coming home we’d first dtd but OHs friends were over on the weekend and one of his best friends friends is 8weeks pregnant but has had some bleeding. She went to AE, they did some basic blood tests and said they couldn’t find anything so she should go home and wait it out for another week (don’t even get me started at this unhelpful response). So OH got infuriated because obv we have been through similar and then he told his best friends of what we had been true. Now I’m mad and not speaking to him because I had asked him specifically when it happened to us to not tell people! I’m a very private person as it is and his friends and family in contrast to mine have no boundaries. I have told some of my closest friends who have gone through this as I needed their advice as to what actually happens. He also insisted on telling his family before the 12week scan, I always said no I didn’t want to tell. Just as well but he told his family anyway! And now this. He said he didn’t mean it in a bad way and I shouldn’t be mad but when he hears about this other friend it came all up in him again and he felt like sharing. I said it’s not about that but it’s about me asking him to do something and then he doesn’t do it! That is what’s upset me. But maybe I’m being too sensitive? What do you ladies think? Anyway with my mood off now, there’s certainly no dtd on the agenda for this morning anyway! I will do OPKS post lunch but I think I’ve ovulated anyway. My temp was lower today and I think to confirm ovulation you need three consistent rises but I temped 2.5hrs earlier today so don’t think it’s telling. Xxx

Aww @BEESY90 bless you lovely. This is so sad to read. I really hoped that you had been able to be seen much sooner. How are you physically at the moment? What was the level of bleeding? I really feel for you & have been thinking about you over the weekend xxxx

@BEESY90 oh I'm so sorry to hear this, they really can be so blunt and insensitive! Would you consider going to A&E to ask them to refer to you or speaking to your GP? How is the bleeding now, has it gotten worse? Thinking of you and sending you hugs xxx

@Lollol86 and they wonder why mental health is such a problem. The way I have been spoken to by maternity triage over the weekend has been shocking. “Its not the midwives responsibility to refer you” I was already a mess and asking what to do because I was panicking and never been through this. I am someone who is normally so grateful to the NHS and does not like to hear bad against them but this hasn’t been mentally insensitive x

@BEESY90 omg that is so unfair, honestly the way we are treated is disgusting. Your mental health and well-being should be being considered and it isn't. Make sure you oook after yourself xx

@HE88 oh bless you, it is hard. My dh said after both my mc that woman definitely find it harder but that's because we have an instant bond with our babies as we they are growing inside of us. Sending massive virtual hugs to you xx

Hi Everyone. Apparently earliest they can see me at EPU is 9am Thurs. I have already been in turmoil since Sat 😔

Hahah you sounds like me @MrsK21 with the self control. My AF is due Sunday/Monday. So I thought Saturday was a good compromise ha.

Oh my gosh that sounds soooooo hopeful for you both @Northernsoul90 given your temps. Wow!!!! This is mega exciting! i did start of my TTC journey doing temps but I gave up as I was rubbish at interpreting it and being consistent with it. Now I blooming wish I had carried on given this new info!

Xxxx

@HappyVibes if temps stay elevated, this is due to increased progesterone and is an indicator of pregnancy. If temps drop below the coverline (which is a line the app draws to differentiate between pre and post ovulation) it means the progesterone has dropped and AF will be on her way.
I feel like I should stop temping now as I'm not planning to test early but rather wait and see if AF arrives on Sunday but curiosity gets the better of me every morning, I have literally no self control!

Morning ladies hope you are all ok.

So September has finally arrived was not looking forward to this month at all as I should have been starting a new chapter of my life by welcoming my little baby this month 😢. I had a little cry this morning hubby had no clue what was going on until I told him, I feel like I should be really angry with him but I'm not I'm just really sad. He actually said it shows how much harder it is for the women.
I'm going for a massage in a bit so hopefully that will relax me a bit.

Hope you all have a lovely Tuesday and good luck to those going back to work today.

Awww @MrsK21 I know!!! I can’t wait! Eek. Remind me again when you guys are testing @Northernsoul90? I’m going to test Saturday eek.

I don’t temp no, so I’m non the wiser with mine sorry guys. So your temps - what do they indicate (although we aren’t symptom spotting obvs hehehe)

Xxx

@chloedancer897 it will happen for you lovely, it's so hard to see others get pregnant and have their babies with relative ease. Your time will come and it will so extra special when it does!

@Pugprincess @Northernsoul90 good luck for your first days back! must be nervewracking!

@Northernsoul90 your temps are really really similar to mine, I've been doing them every day and they're still above coverline. @HappyVibes are you temping? how are yours looking? Not long till we can get the POAS out of our systems xxx

Morning ladies,

I believe I may officially be in the TWW now but would you recommend using cheap OPKs to confirm ovulation by seeing the lines fade?

@RichmondLady1981 last cycle when I caught I got circle circle static so I didn't get any flashings but I started using it really late. We only DTD the day of peak and the day after. We had also DTD about 4 days before peak too but i wasn't testing at that point.

This cycle we have DTD the day before peak and then the day after peak.

If I were you I'd maybe DTD every other day whilst you're in flashing and then try for everyday when you get peak? If you can haha x

I also used OPKs this cycle and when I got peak it was a clear positive and then the day after peak was just as positive

@RichmondLady1981 so from this thread I’ve learnt that your first CB is always a circle - it uses the first one as a baseline for you. So although you got a circle yesterday, this may actually have been a flashing if you had started earlier in your circle if you get me? I’m just mindful that you said you had EWCM yesterday (it was you right?) so from that, it would sound like you’re in your FW so wouldn’t want you to miss out. But like you say you also don’t want to overdo Iran out too much pressure.

I think we are all diff on here with how we approach it. Me & my husband DTD every day from first flashing until after peak. Some do the SMEP approach.

Good luck lovely xx

@MichT4 you’re so right. Sounds like you’ve had a good rollercoaster of emotions and you’re now back grounded? How are you feeling now? Hope you get the confirmation of the referral today & get a good turnaround timescale wise. In the interim please carry on - I am using the appt just as reassurance but I genuinely and whole heartedly don’t think I need any medical oversight.

I’m good thank you lovely - feeling quietly optimistic about this month. Had a lot of signs that make us just feel that this is the one eek! In my head I’ve been working out what date I COULD test at the earliest haha. But I am gunna stick to my guns and deffo wait until Saturday at the earliest xxxx

@RichmondLady1981 Thank you! Good luck today to you too✨.

Yay for flashing smiley! You are in fw. Yes I think most dtd every other day and then every day for a couple of days from static xx

@Pugprincess Thank you! Hope all goes well with having some children back in... it's inset day for us today and then staggered start from tomorrow. How are you getting on? xx

@HappyVibes Your positivity is rubbing off on me! 🥰 how are you today? Xx

@MichT4 Thank you! I'm doing okay, trying not to symptom spot or look too much into anything. I had a lot of cm for a couple of days but that seems to have levelled off now - still getting some but not as much. Whether that means anything who knows. How are you? Xx

Morning lovely ladies. First day back at work for me too! Nice to have a distraction.

Thanks @HappyVibes
So after lots of recommendations- and from you started using a CB ovulation kit yesterday alongside cheapies. Yesterday was a circle, and today is a flashing face. So I guess I’m in my FW?

I have had flashing Smiles in the past that last a few days so don’t want to commit to DTD every day (I’ll be knackered!). Do you guys usually do every other day and then every day once you’ve reached peak? My cheapie is a tiny bit darker today but not much. I’m now CD14 and usually ovulate day 19/20.

@chloedancer897
Try to stay positive lovely. It will happen for you x

@gizmo167
Are you tracking temps? What makes you think you’re not?

@Northernsoul90
Good luck for first day back! I’ll need it too!!

Thank you @MrsK21 and @KatiePlus3 for the advice. I never used to keep a close eye on the smaller details but I’ll definitely be making more notes this time. It can’t hurt. I’ll try NC app this month and if I’m not happy I’ll look into your recommendations. Thank you so much!!

@HappyVibes totally agree. It's really hard sometimes, but the reality is that once it does happen, it'll be amazing. And as a lot of you said to me last week, somehow this will all become worth it.
I think it's so hard a lot of the time to think that it'll happen when the time is right etc but it's comforting to think that things to happen at the perfect time.

How are you today?

@Pugprincess good luck with the first day of kids. Hope you are feeling ok?

@Northernsoul90 great that your temps are still high. Good luck with your first day back. How are you doing?

xx

Love reading your positive responses @Northernsoul90 and @MichT4 I fully agree with both of your responses to @chloedancer897.

Some things are well worth the wait & it makes our journeys that bit extra special for that extra love and emotion we truly put into it. I’m a big believer in everything happening for a reason...& as Mich mentioned, we have to look for the silver linings sometimes to try & keep us afloat. It’s hard not to compare with others when we are at similar stages in life, but it’s not a race, it’s not a competition and it makes no difference whether someone has a baby in January or in October - they are all beautiful and precious. 💓💓💓

@chloedancer897 I know exactly how you feel, I always tried to think well someone has to go last 😩 it’s really hard though. Especially when there’s a big chunk of time it just makes you feel rubbish. In my 5 years I watched one of my best friends have 3 babies, another 2, my sister in law one, my other two friends 2 each. It was a lot. Not to mention someone at work that popped 4 out in a row. I used to joke that we must be doing it wrong. Hard to joke when actually deep down it feels awful. The tww is torture, one day at a time ❤️

@Northernsoul90 good luck with your first day back 🤞🏻👍🏻

Today is the first day we have some kids back. Half the class today and tomorrow then the other half thurs and fri. Will be interesting I think!

Morning everyone, hope you are all okay. First day back at work in a long time for me - not looking forward to it! I'm 8dpo today nothing much to report, temped this morning for the first time in a few days and it was still up (36.56 from 36.44 previous temp).

@gizmo167 What makes you think no ovulation? How many cycles is it for you post mc? Xx

@chloedancer897 Please don't feel down, I know it's so hard seeing others pregnant. I'm back at work today and am seeing someone for the first time who is pregnant and due around the same time I would have been. I just keep thinking just because others are pregnant doesn't mean that my chance has gone. You are still in tww so this month could be your time! 💖 xx

Morning everyone. Hope you are all ok this morning?

@chloedancer897 please don't feel like that. It's happened for the others and it will happen for you too. And because they've all bad their time, you'll know no one is going to steal your moment - that's the backwards way I looked at my sister being pregnant - I'd rather her have told me then, than her have taken my 'moment' and declared hers a couple of weeks after me. Have to search for the silver linings!
It will happen, there's no pressure to be in line with them, it'll happen in your time. And you're in your TWW now so you never know! xx

So there were a group of 6 of us in my work who were all TTC at the same time. 4 have had babies now and the 5th just told me she's pregnant. So I'm the only one left now. She kept telling me how sorry she was for me but I am actually really happy for her. I just feel like it's never really going to happen for me or it would have happened by now. My MC in May seems like it didn't even really happen. I'm finding it hard to keep going 😞

Hi girls, just popping in to say I'm currently cd2! A bit of a strange one too, was heavy and painful yesterday cd1 but today not really at all, I would be heavy first 2 days then taped off cd3 and 4 and then have another slight bleed before she disappears cd5 or so, I'm prob reckoning I didn't violate this cycle but then I think it's normally longer cycles with anovulation?? Aw who knows!

@LAcain I’m with you there. I am crazy optimistic at the moment but I have a feeling that AF is on her way and this is my first one since MC.

Please don’t be too down about it, you are still super fertile even after the first cycle. I spoke to my gp at length about being more fertile after MC and she told me that there is no difference in the hormones it is just that the lining of the womb becomes much thicker so that it is easier for a fertilised egg to latch on. I hope this gives you some peace in that you haven’t missed out because AF has arrived but I do understand and think I will feel the same when AF arrives for me. Xx