TTC after MC - Aug/Sept 2020 (Thread 12)

Evening ladies sorry Awol again whilst it was my 30th birthday yesterday. I had a great birthday drank and ate lots too 😇😏

6dpo today, AF due on 15th September, trying not to symptom spot and aim not to test early, at least no earlier than 12dpo because any sooner isn't worthwhile.

I've been cramping most days since ovulation so not sure what that's all about. Did feel cramps today and stopped myself thinking maybe it's early implantation haha quickly shut that thought out of my mind.

Sorry to those with BFNs 💗💗💗

@Bellabubble it’s not over till the fat AF sings. You nailed your timing this cycle! That’s really impressive! There’s Still hope that your Negative was a false one! 🤞

@Northernsoul90 I couldn’t agree more. This really shouldn’t feel like a chore! Never quite felt the pressure like this cycle. Don’t want it to start messing with our heads!

@HappyVibes- it’s soooo right. We all need to take a lead out of your book.

X night. X

Thanks @SmileyT that’s lovely to hear even on one of my not so positive days too 🥰That’s so kind of you to say that, that’s made my day. Thank you. I hope you’re well lovely 💓💓💓

@Northernsoul90 thanks for asking, all was good at the scan so time to start enjoying this a bit 🥰

@HappyVibes can I just say that your positivity is infectious, so glad your appt went well and you will definitely be pregnant in the next 12 weeks ❤️

@VP91x yeh it predicted me for cd15, but temps then confirmed cd14 - we dtd cd12,13,14 and 15. Currently 14dpo with no af and after the bfn on Sat I don’t want to do another one!! Also it’s a cb digital and I don’t know how sensitive they are! Last time I just didn’t get af and tested when I was a week late.

I’m definitely calling the Dr’s when af starts! I’m also tempted to go to a private scanning place that does a 25min dcan for £89 - but I have no idea if it’s worth it for what it does or what it can tell me etc..it’s all so confusing!

Also @HappyVibes glad the appointment went well and hopefully before the 3 months are up you will be pregnant and not need the follow up!

@MinnieMouse4 you are not moaning, definitely feeling your frustration, I hope something happens for you this month ASAP, it’s like even though the six tests I have done have been negative (2 if you ask my husband ), until AF arrives you can’t let go of that little ray of hope.

Doctor called back and has said she will get me to have 21 day bloods done, so now even more reason for my period to come along now!

I think on the positive side by going back to routine post lockdown hopefully it is more of a distraction.

Update from me ladies - just had my first gynae appointment and I feel so reassured about everything going forward.

Referred for an ultrasound to check my own shape, womb positioning, womb lining & my ovaries.

Referred for a blood test through hospital (cannot remember the name of it lols).

Referred for GP bloods CD3/4 (booked for tomorrow) & bloods for CD27 (booked in too).

Also sperm sample for my husband.

Then go back in approx 12weeks for the results of all of them to discuss the findings. Feeling so much more reassured now there’s movement and all the tests.

I’m pretty confident we will conceive in between now & going back in 12weeks as that’s 3 cycles. Hope this is reassurance for any other ladies who are due their gynae appointments xxxxxx

Just trying to catch up on everything ladies!!

@HappyVibes @MrsK21
Yes I'm on cd3 today - cycle twins haha. My app is predicting the 23rd for ovu around cd 19/20 I think is when it will happen which is the norm for me. I know exactly what you mean I was thinking the same but I also love keeping up with everyone! Xx

@RichmondLady1981 That sounds like a good plan, I also think I'm going to try a more relaxed approach this time - I don't think I'm going to temp just use opks as my cycles are quite regular anyway and I don't think ovulation is an issue for me. I'm also going to dtd throughout the cycle and not just get so hung up on doing it every day during fw! It all gets a bit much and it has become a chore xx

@chloedancer897 I'm so sorry it was a bfn 😔 sending lots of hugs your way! 💖 xx

I think quite a few are us are feeling the same way this month in that we need to take a step back. I'm even considering not using opks and just dtd plenty around when I would usually ovulate. It just all gets so regimented and I feel like it's all I've thought about for almost a year now.

@MinnieMouse4 @Sully84 I really hope af arrives for you both soon it's awful being in limbo! Xx

@SmileyT I hope all has gone well today lovely ❤️ xx

Just been catching up on last night and today. First of all I am so sorry to hear about your BFN @chloedancer897. I don’t know how to bring you any comfort but the only information I can give is that I read somewhere that even if you do everything right, conception is a 1 in 4 chance. Please try not to be hard on yourself, the universe has your back and it absolutely will happen for you. I know it is easier said than done but maybe a more relaxed approach could be just what the doctor ordered. I’m thinking of you. Xx

@Sully84 I am in a very similar situation to you. CD 33 and no sign of AF yet. I did think I could feel some cramping but I’m starting to think it is all in my head. Had a very slight breakout but nothing compared to what I normally have when AF is due. Also had BFNs. Last BFN was yesterday which is 15 days since last BD so i think it would have shown up by now. Xx

I just wish AF would arrive. I’ve accepted the BFN for this month and just want to get going again with next FW. Every day feels like a month has passed when you are TTC and although I’m quite new to the journey, other factors make me feel like I have been at this for years. I might try another test on Wednesday when I am 5 days late which is when I got my first BFP before the MC but I’m 99% expecting BFN.

Sorry for the moan. Just feeling a bit sorry for myself.

Thank you all so much. You have been so amazing. I'm definitely going to stop being so regimented about it and stressing all the time. It's easier said than done of course but there's something to it. I'm going to try focusing on other things and keep TTC in the background and hopefully I can get the stress levels down xo

@chloedancer897

Sending you huge hugs my dear. I really do believe in what a few of the others have said regarding making more time for yourself. Still TTC of course but allow it to be in the background and not the main event. I know that’s not easy. We all hear of so many stories of people TTC or having IVF and then once they’ve taken a break or even sometimes given up, they’ve fallen pregnant. Two of my closest pals did this. My best friend was TTC for a while and booked an app with IVF. She’d had a million tests done and nothing wrong was found with her or her husband. Her app for IVF was booked in 3 months so she took a break. Guess what happened... yep she fell preg and she believed it’s because she felt the pressure had gone; that she’d allowed the pressure to move onto the specialists and she had a little break in between. Same for another lady I know in her early 40s. Tried for years then Lost a number of frozen embryos that had been implanted. She fell pregnant and then lost her baby. Shed had enough and went to SA for a few weeks and got pissed a lot and had the TIME OF HER LIFE. You know what’s coming next.... yep, came back to the UK and fell pregnant. She’d spent 1000s on freezing eggs, treatment and tests. In the end they both fell naturally. Both now have happy healthy babies. I know so many other similar stories !! Has to be some truth in it. Yes we have to be healthy but we also have to live fun lives and do things that make us happy. You’ve fallen pregnant before and it can happen again.

Be kind to yourself. 💕

@familybythesea
Hi there

It’s a weird one. I’ve read Up so much on short LP and some specialists say it’s NOT a thing, as in it doesn’t really exist. Not sure what I think.

I have a 15 month old son and I breastfed for ages and only got my periods back Feb this year. This is when my luteal phase was super short to begin with. Only 8 or 9 days. It remained the same and I fell pregnant end of April (but then miscarried at 8.5 weeks). I don’t think I had a short LP before having him as I ovulated on day 14 of a 28 day cycle. Saying that I only tracked one cycle before falling pregnant.

I had tests done to try and figure out why I had the mmc this year and it was a genetic disorder so The short LP was ruled out as being the cause. I believe the reason why Short LP could be a problem is that there’s not enough time for the egg to travel and implant. I also read that progesterone might not have had enough time to get to work on thickening the uterus lining so sometimes people are given PG supplements after ovulation to help. I was going to keep trying until dec/Jan and if no luck, look into it further. I’ve been told to track my cycles and temps so in 6 months time, if I want to bring up the subject of short LP with a specialist, then they ask for at least 6 months of tracking as a first step. So good to get going in that ASAP so there’s evidence of it.

In summary, I was worried about short LP but I fell pregnant with It so I’m hoping it’s not going to be an issue. I also had my progesterone measured when I found out I was pregnant and it was at a good level. Glad I had the official genetic test to rule LP out as being the issue.

Any info on this would be great.

@chloedancer897 I'm so sorry that you have been feeling down due to all TTC. My heart goes to you. I think we can put so much pressure on ourselves and ttc is definitely a process. Before my third Mc( CM) last month I have finally came to terms that "it is ok if I'm not pregnant this month". It will happen but I just want health bean. If my body needs more time, I will take it. But it was aaaaa process. I have been feeling like failure, sad and all pregnancy announcements of close one were making me sad before that realization. At the end it doesn't matter when baby comes, just that's healthy🥰😘 I hope the day goes better for you and that you too can feel better about all TTC dear ❤️😘

I didn't look at the thread over the weekend so there was a lot of catch up on!
@VP91x Thank you, I'm not sure why my doctor hasn't requested the day 21 test - it worries me a bit as I suspect he knows very little about fertility. He should call me with my other test results so I will ask him to book me in this month.
I hope your luck is in this cycle now you've had ovulation confirmed!

@RichmondLady1981 I saw you asking about luteal phases way back - I'm a bit obsessed because mine is 9-10 days and I have always wondered if this was an issue. It was like that when I had my DS though so I don't think you necessarily need to worry. I'm taking vitamin C and B6 on top of my prenatal multivitamin as supposedly this can help lengthen the LP and boost natural progesterone production. I have since wondered if I am actually having some breakthrough bleeding before my actual period starts though as the first 3 days are off and on and then a proper bleed. Is yours like that or is it quite clearly the start of AF?

Sorry to everyone who got BFNs over the weekend :( It's so so tough and I can very much relate to all your messages. It's just so hard when you feel like you have done everything you can and there are just no answers. It's the cruellest thing. I can't say I have the answer either, but just wanted to reiterate that you are not alone. Sending love x

Thank you everyone. I had a coffee today and I'm off work this week so I'm going to book a massage and just not think about it. I've been so consumed with TTC that everything else is slipping. I was so driven before all this with my job and I just don't have my head in the game anymore. I told DH that I'm going to focus more on work and my own hobbies and TTC can be just for that one week then it's out of the way. He actually cried a lot today, I was really shocked. He said he doesn't know how much more he can take. It's the worst I've seen him. We both want a baby so much.

Thanks again for the constant support, I really wouldn't be able to make it every month without you all (however I feel like it'll be thread 30 and you'll all be pregnant and I'll just be here talking to myself, last man standing 😂😂)

Morning all, just checking in. Sorry to hear of the BFN that some have had, it’s such a constant rollercoaster of emotions isn’t it and impossible not to get your hopes up. Every time I get my period it’s awful but I enjoy the two weeks after where there is no pressure and you can switch off a bit from it.

I’m on day 35 now I think and still no period and two more negative tests, longest my cycle has ever been. Had an outbreak of spots though so maybe AF is on the horizon. I’ve contacted the doctors and hopefully will get a call back in next 24 hours to discuss it I hope. Feeling frustrated as I just want to move on to next month.
I’m looking into private wellbeing fertility scan and private blood tests so if I dont get far with doctor maybe I can just get what I can checked out in the mean time.

Sending warm fuzzy feelings to everyone x

@chloedancer897 everything that you wrote broke my heart as this is exactly the same way that we felt this weekend when my AF arrived. Literally, 100% exactly all our thoughts. We just let ourselves feel shit and feel sad, and rode the emotions out. Cancelled plans with friends that we had just to have some downtime so we didn’t have to pretend we were okay and happy to anyone. It felt good!

I’m still feeling that way, but I know I’m going to also focus of my mindset for the coming week. Booked in for any hair and a massage this week. & I’m looking at ya booking a weekend away somewhere so we can have a night away (not in the FW, so we DTD for fun)...some nice meals, few drinks...just to get back to the old us, before the TTC us.

We’ve agreed that after my appointment when we know our options, we aren’t gunna talk about TTC. I’m just gunna OPK and ofc he will know when FW is, but other than that, we are gunna ride it out and try not to let it take over anymore. Saying that is probably easier than doing it...time will tell.

Xxxx

@chloedancer897 so sorry it was a BFN. I really hope you manage to find your positivity soon but for now, try and switch off, enjoy a drink at your DD birthday and maybe try a bit more laid back approach, it must get mentally draining too. Sending you a big hug

@RichmondLady1981 sounds like you have a good handle on your cycle and ovulation so rejigging your timings might work well, it does get tiring with DTD!

@HappyVibes @Northernsoul90 I'm just a couple of days ahead on CD4 today. I think this upcoming FW, I'll try and target days a bit better, we had lots of awful spotting so missed a good chunk of FW before that. Due to ovulate on 16th or 17th, hoping we all get lucky this month xxx

Thanks @RichmondLady1981 & @VP91x just had the bt and the nurse managed to do it first time. Usually they can’t find a vein as I have been told I have deep veins lol but today she found one straight away and managed to get blood out. Had been worried all morning.

Sorry to hear you are feeling so down @chloedancer897. I can’t really add to what the ladies have already said but please be kind to yourself and maybe treat yourself to something today. X

@chloedancer897 I'm so sorry it was negative this morning, and even more sorry that you're feeling so low. It's so frustrating that the chance of catching every month is something like 30%, which is super depressing to think when you are putting everything into it. It would be so lovely if the odds were in our favour when we are being so mindful of timing etc.
As @Firevie said, we need to trust that it doesn't happen because it's not the time and it will happen at some point.
I don't have the answers as to how you should move past your emotions. I think if this isn't your month, you have to let yourself be sad but you should absolutely take comfort in the regularity of your cycles. It's hard, but try and be patient and trust your body. If you can capture the bit of hope you have each month and keep it going throughout, you'll instantly feel better.

I wonder if it's worth not being so 'on it' for a while. I know that's hard, but maybe take a step back from one thing even - maybe OPKs if you don't need them, or some of the vits. I think the less we are doing each day which is solely about TTC will naturally take some of the focus away.
I know I'm in a different situation this month, but I've done that while waiting for AF - no calc Fluor, no juices, I even forgot my daily batch of vits on Saturday because I was out, and that was ok - I was busy with non-TTC things! I'm not saying stop taking everything, but maybe just have a reset of what's the most important to keep with. Remember a lot of us fell pregnant taking and doing nothing, so perhaps our bodies are capable without us stressing too much about all the extra bits and pieces.

I just wonder if it'll help you focus elsewhere and get back to TTC being a nice and fun little side project. I hate saying those words, because when you really want it it isn't that, but I just think we put so much pressure on ourselves to do all the right things, and there's probably no need to

Hope that makes sense. Quite a ramble and I'm mindful lots of things don't help and it's certainly not easy. I just hate you feeling down on yourself xx

@Firevie I know AF is coming. She's like clockwork. Plus the big temp dip and stark white BFN. I'm 13DPO so it would show by now. I wish I had more trust in my body but I actually resent it now. I resent it for what it's doing to me and how much it's making me hurt

@chloedancer897 sorry didn’t read about bfn ...I’m such an idiot! But the above still applies! Trust ....xxx

@chloedancer897 oh no sorry to read your morning update! But as they say you’re not out until af shows her face. Do you have any af symptoms? I asked my doctor in Vienna couple of weeks ago why it didn’t happen last month - we dtd at the right time, caught ovulation, no booze, healthy, no stress. She said unfortunately baby making is no science so even if you think we did everything why did it not happen, it doesn’t mean that anything is wrong. It just means the timing isn’t right yet. But we have to trust that our healthy babies will come to us when the time is right. Sending you hugs xxx