TTC after MC - Aug/Sept 2020 (Thread 12)

@RichmondLady1981 many thanks for your message! I def think talking to couple of friends has been helpful but I think I’ve kind of reached my limit of how many people I want to tell now and also I don’t really want to talk about it much anymore but try and move onto the next but at the same time don’t yet feel ready to be stuck in the same house with my sister in law not being able to indulge in her pregnancy as much as I would have otherwise had. Anyhow I think / hope OH will understand and either go alone or just not go. I mean we are in the middle of a pandemic right now so hopping on a plane is not really anything that needs to be done unless absolutely necessary anyway lol xxx

@Firevie

Totally not selfish. I completely understand. I was in a similar position with a gathering after miscarriage. I ended up actually messaging my friend and telling her whAt happened. This way she knew to be sensitive around me. I told her that I wasn’t expecting her to not talk about it of course. But she knew not to constantly bang on about it all on the time. Unfortunately, one time (3 days after my surgery) someone asked me at a party if I was going to try for baby number 2 soon as my son needed a sibling. How I didn’t burst into tears I have no idea. ThT was so hard. Everyone’s different but I found telling people quite liberating and I was surprised by the number of people who’d been through the same thing. I know everyone’s different but I thought I’d share my experience.

Hugs 🤗

@MinnieMouse4 - I see a line too!

@Northernsoul90 - I am the same age as you. When I had the private genetic test, I had a follow up appointment to chat things through. I was surprised how many chromosomal issues there are with over 35s. She explained when we get older; there can be errors in the replication of chromosomes, which causes the defect then miscarriage. It’s quite a high percentage. One of my best friends is going through IVF now and many of the fertilised eggs failed to progress due to genetic issues. Only two out of ten made it to embryo. She is over 40 though.

If I were you I would go and request another progesterone test to see what it’s measuring at a private place. Your lining is fine so that’s not an issue. I’m a bit wary of clomid as I hear it can stop CM production which is essential. Again I fell pregnant when my previous cycle was a 9 day LP so It might not be an issue.

I’d check your progesterone and take it from there. :). I might go into that chat and have a read 👍 Thanks for all the info. Always good to hear more. I’m not going for all the supplementation as yet as I’ve heard so many mixed reviews on that. I eat really well so hoping that found for something. 😘

@DBTJ thank you I will update again tomorrow! I think the plan going forward is to use up all the cheapie tests I have and then use CBD at the weekend if I can hold out that long!

@MinnieMouse4 all the test I have predicted have been correct. I can see a line without even squinting hopefully I keep up my correct predictions keep me posted.

@DBTJ awww so happy to read about you being in second trimester! Wishing you a healthy pregnancy and a lovely healthy baby! Thanks for your kind words. I’m having a bit of a low day today so these words have come at the right time. Thank you xx

Lil update from me for the past 2 weeks I have been silently watching with fear that I had lost my baby. I didnt even tell my partner. I decided not to get it checked out and choose to pray hope and stay stress free.
Today all scans showed baby is there pretty active and I'm officially into my 2nd trimester.
I just want to say to all those still waiting for bfp it well happen when you least expect have faith most importantly try and live life and not get so invested in ttc. I have seen a couple of comments about how others have got it and I just want to say you will be surprised how many women go through this I guarantee in your circle of friends they can relate if they felt open to talk about it.
I pray we all end up with our miracle babies and can look back and smile at these months as its just a test of strength. X

Thanks @MrsK21@MinnieMouse4 for your kind words. I did say to OH he could go himself but he said he’d want me to be there with him but if it comes up again I may just push him to go on his own. I also told him it would be different if I was pregnant already then I might feel differently but given where we are at the moment, I just don’t feel strong enough 😔 xxx

@KatiePlus3 ahh so we're cycle twins 💜 are you planning on waiting for AF due date before testing or a certain dpo? X

@Firevie I don’t think you are being selfish at all. I agree with @MrsK21 that maybe OH can visit by himself? Xx

@Firevie definitely not being selfish! Especially if the sis in law doesn't know about the mc, she might take it the wrong way if you don't feel like chatting pregnancy and baby stuff. You need to do what's best to protect your mental health.
I was in a similar situation where I declined to attend a baby shower next weekend because I don't want to put on a brave face and then have a breakdown later on.
Do what's right for you. If OH is insistent then perhaps he can visit on his own? X

Hi everyone! How’s everyone doing today? Nothing to report from me really so I’ve just been staying in the background but feel like I need a bit of support so reaching out. My husbands sister lives in Norway and has a little baby boy who will turn two in two weeks. She is currently also pregnant with her second. She told us when I had just had my ERPC so it was really difficult for me so I distanced myself a little but then messaged her that I was really pleased for her etc. Anyway, OH just came over and said he’d like to fly to Norway for the weekend for our nephew’s birthday. I am not sure. As much as I wish her all the best for her pregnancy I don’t think I have it in me to sit through an entire weekend with pregnancy chat etc. I just wouldn’t ask anything but she talks a lot so inevitably she would talk about her pregnancy. By the way I should mention we didn’t tell her about my mc. Anyway so I told OH I’m not sure I can sit through an entire weekend with a toddler and a pregant sister in law. We didn’t finish the conversation. He just left the room and back to his laptop. Am I being selfish? Xx

@MinnieMouse4 Defo! Keep us posted :) xx

@KatiePlus3 I see what you mean. The tests look so similar as well! I may have a pink dye one in the house so I will check! Xx

@MinnieMouse4

@MinnieMouse4

@KatiePlus3 it’s a Tesco’s one but thank you for the heads up on that. It could be they are manufactured in the same place so I will definitely take your advice and get a pink dye xx

@MinnieMouse4 I'm hoping that in your instance I'm wrong and you're on your way to a clear BFP xx

@MinnieMouse4 if that is a sainsburys cheapie early detection they're so bad and give everybody the same reading, I have the same pictures of mine on my phone and I wasnt pregnant, defo get a pink dye test xx

@Bl0ndi3 I'm due AF on 16th September and roughly 7dpo, I'm holding out testing early, I also had cramps all day yesterday which felt like menstrual cramps but obviously not due on for a while yet, this morning I also had some heavy CM after fmu. Never had that before but I'm trying not to symptom spot xx

@familybythesea I’m exactly the same. That photo was taken at around 6am this morning. I still have the test and the line is a little more prominent now but not by much. Thank you for your thoughts though, I think I am just driving myself mad with the not knowing. I have 2 CBD at home but I’m willing myself not to use them just yet xx

@MinnieMouse4 At first glance I really thought I could see a line, but then when I went closer I couldn't as much...I've driven myself insane looking at those things recently so I'm not the best judge. I very much hope that turns out to be the start of your BFP though!

@RichmondLady1981 I know what you mean - I can't work out if a short LP really is a problem or not. I'm very sorry for your loss and that you needed testing at all, but it is good you had that done and know the cause of the pregnancy loss. I hope that gives you a bit of reassurance - it very well could just be that it was sadly chromosomal that time, but next time is totally fine. I don't know what has been causing my miscarriages so feel a bit more anxious about it, but in reality I know my age (38) could mean chromosomal abnormalities are more common.
In the meanwhile, I my short LP is the only thing I have to go on! I was reading about how the corpus luteum (which secretes the progesterone after ovulation) can be of varying 'qualities' and this can cause the LP defect. I think some people are given Clomid for that reason and it does seem to work in some cases. I saw a study that said vitamin E and L'Arginine both improve the blood flow to the corpus luteum and progesterone increased as a result. The problem with all these studies is I don't know how good the data really was. I'm a bit nervous to start taking too many supplements as it's hard to know if they might interfere with each other and natural hormones etc. I have read about a lot of people seeing improvements after taking B6 and Vitamin C though, so testing those this month. There's another thread on there called 'Short luteal phase gang!' - the thread is interesting.

The thing is, I know my lining is fine because I had a scan this week and it was 12mm - so even if my hormones are imbalanced and progesterone is lower it can't be too bad, I would assume? I do kind of wonder if some of us do just have a short LP and, like you say, maybe it's an issue for implantation if it takes 8/9 days to reach the womb. But implantation can happen before that, so fingers crossed that's what happens for us soon!

Sorry to everyone else about the LP obsessing! I hope everyone is doing ok.

Morning All. It is CD34 for me today and expected AF is 5 days late. I took a cheapie test with FMU this morning and I swear I can see the faintest line. So I then did a CB (not digital) with my next wee and I also think I can see a very faint line on that one but I think I have finally gone mad and it’s looking more like a BFN.

I have attached the FMU cheapie from this morning. What you ladies think? Xx

@HappyVibes so glad your appt went well!

@Northernsoul90 that sounds sensible to try and cut back on the TTC related things.
I'm going to carry on with OPKS and temps this cycle because my cycle lengths have varied so far and I don't want to miss my ovu day. If this cycle is also 25 days then I'll probably cut out temping next time round too xxx