TTC after MC - August 2020 (Thread 11)

That was supposed to be in the new thread. Hold on......

Thanks for the new thread @VP91x 🥰

And thank you for your lovely message too.

@chloedancer897 @Northernsoul90 I've cried a lot this evening, something has really got me this time round. I've just had a bath and waiting for OH to come home from work.

Still in the battle for tests. My GP is referring me but the wait is long. He recommended I use my healthcare but they don't cover miscarriages so he's written it for infertility so I have to try that route tomorrow. Somehow I think I'm going to have a no from private then either a long wait or a big bill. I feel so deflated from it all.

@Ttc2020no2 sorry for your losses. I really hope this cycle is a lucky one for you

@Pugprincess thank you. I feel like my hopes have been dashed and I'm scrambling to find them to be honest. I know this feeling is short term but I just can't keep doing this to myself. And you're right, money is power, and I don't have much of it to be too powerful with 😂
Best of luck for tomorrow morning, will be looking forward to your update.

@HE88 thank you so much 🥰 how are you doing?

@Firevie I want the details of your Austrian doctor! But might be worth knowing the info for your London one, just in case I need to be looking around. Thanks for the virtual hugs too 🥰 much needed

@1990EM so lovely to hear from you, and thank you for your message. How are you getting on?

@HappyVibes I've allowed myself today to be sad, I've had a nice bath and have my candles on.
I'll research that stuff, thank you. I need to refocus myself while I wait for more guidance - could be a while! I'm tempted to drop a lot of it actually and just focus on a few things. Might not even OPK, though that seems unlikely 😂

@Rebecca1992 thank you 🥰. How are you?

@Lollol86 OH has been at work ever since we found out, he finishes at 9. He got upset in the car when I came bounding out of the hospital, acting like it was all ok. He started me off! I didn't realise he would be like that as he was even less convinced than me that it was happening.

I just hope I'm not messed about by the private medical and they put the referral through. At least then I feel like I'm getting somewhere rather than being on an endless list

I want today to be over now xx

@MichT4 im so sorry ! My heart goes to you dear :( take your time with dealing with emotions about your loss ! You are not alone! On positive side we do hear many successful stories after multiple MCs. Don't give up hope dear ❤️ I don't know how you will feel in few days but with my last third Mc ( chemical) Two weeks ago, I went through my emotions the fastest and have been quite relaxed about Ttc and following whole process.

@Pugprincess good luck for you scan tomorrow xx

My AF is due 8th september @Northernsoul90 so we are all in the same boat! That's my daughters birthday so I don't know what to do. Test on 13DPO so I don't get a big shock on her birthday with my inevitable BFN or just wait it out. Hard to know.

@MichT4 chocolate cake sounds like a plan. I'm also a fan of a good ugly cry, usually cry in the shower or stick on a soppy movie and just sob my eyes out. The notebook is particularly good for that! Sometimes it's quite cathartic to have a good cry. And some chocolate. Tomorrow is a new day and you have all your tests lined up and a plan in place so keep doing what you're doing and you will get that beautiful rainbow baby xo

I mc in May at 5 weeks. I'm now on 2ww.
I had a chemical after mc, the following month a normal af and now I'm praying this is the month. Wishing you all the best luck ttc. X

@MichT4 Definitely treat yourself to lots of chocolate and maybe a nice bath and some cozy pjs. Don't feel silly for being hopeful it's been such a rollercoaster for you and we have all been hopeful along with you. ❤️

@MrsK21 I think I will temp for another couple of days and then stop for this cycle otherwise I will also overthink and panic about every little temp dip. My cycles are 31/32 days and ovu normally happens on cd19 sometimes 20 and my luteal phase is usually around 12/13 days. AF is due on the 6/7th Sep so same as you! Xx

@MrsK21 just sent you a PM xx
@Pugprincess good luck for your scan tmr! I’m sure it will all be fine!!! You’re absolutely correct in that money is power and that is such a sad thing! Can’t believe you need to be financially stable to get looked after 🙈🙈 xxx

Hi, just catching up on the last few pages so I can’t remember who to tag what in sorry 🤦🏼‍♀️
-scan is 8.20am tomorrow although I bet I will be waiting around longer than that. Thanks for the good lucks all. Broke down at work today cause I’m worrying. X
@MichT4 I’m so so sorry to read about your blood test 😩 we were all hopeful for you so please don’t feel silly for having hope. If we don’t have hope what else do we have? I read somewhere the only thing stronger than fear is hope ❤️ And I really hope your referral is quick and you get some answers/support ASAP.

It really annoys me too about this 3 losses thing with the nhs. And I too have struggled to get hold of progesterone through them. I’m using the low dose cream @2020wish recommended, gp said not too but I’ve ignored that and continued. My gp reckons they don’t readily give it to ladies and if they do it’s later on in preg, what use is that for people who struggle to get past the 1st trimester? Unfortunately I think in this country money is power so private would no doubt be better.

Thanks @Firevie , sent you a PM just in case I need to see someone else / need additional support in future xxx

@MichT4 just catching up with the thread. I'm so sorry to hear your news please look after yourself, sending you a virtual hug and love ❤️ xx

@MrsK21 absolutely! Prevention is the way forward. 20years ago, my same doctor spotted a lump in my mums breast - this was a routine appointment - and sent my mum for tests etc. They discovered it was cancer but removed the lump before it turned malignant! So I’m absolutely for prevention rather than waiting until something goes wrong. I’ve been seeing my OBGYN since I was 13, always every three months for a routine check up. She’s always done smear tests, checked my breasts and done an ultrasound (well as soon as I turned 18/19 would be weird before then lol). So when I get letters from NHS now saying you can now come for a smear test because I’m old enough at 36 and can get a smear test every two years I’m like no thanks I get mine done twice a year at home anyway. If you ever wanted to change your private doctor let me know. Happy to give you the name of mine in London - he’s great! And I’m very lucky to be with him. He will also see me through pregnancy. Xxx

@MichT4 I think your response to your sister is spot on. it's such a private matter and she should know better than that.

@Northernsoul90 will you carry on temping for the rest of this cycle? I am considering giving it a miss as my sleep is so disrupted and I think I'll worry over every dip and peak. I think I will drive myself nut s symptom spotting too and comparing to "last time". Remind me how long your cycles are again? I'm due AF on 7th Sept using a 28 cycle and assuming a 14 day luteal phase

@Firevie your doctor sound sooo proactive. I love that the Austrian ethos is "prevention" rather than "wait till someone falls apart". I'm currently with a private consultant in London who is OK at best, she doesn't do anything over and above the minimum, I suspect that stems from also working for the NHS!

@MichT4 just read what your sister said. Makes me so mad! Like don’t say anything if you haven’t got anything positive to offer. Best approach to keep it to yourself and shut negative people out of your life even if it’s difficult but you just need to focus on yourself. Get all the cake and chocolate and allow yourself to feel sad, angry, rough whichever! You need to let it out to rise again! Don’t feel silly for having had hope - I’m time you will start trusting your body again and trusting that you will have that healthy rainbow baby when the time is right. Sending you lots of virtual hugs xxx

@MichT4 still silently reading this thread each day, not commenting much as I know those of us now expecting sometimes can de-rail the TTC chat and that's not what its for. Just wanted to hop on and add to the support you're already getting from this amazing group. So sorry for what you're going through again and there really isn't much more I can say to make it feel better, just to echo what has already been said- you're an inspiration to all of us. And you know what's best for you so don't let anyone, especially someone who hasn't gone through this tell you how you should be feeling or what your next steps should be. After my MC I couldn't bear to wait even one more cycle to try again, it would have been far more stressful to wait and "relax" (hate that word in the TTC context!). Some decide they need time and that is ok too! But it is no-ones job to tell you what to feel. We are all here for you and hoping and praying that the next steps with the specialist bring help and reassurance. I have no doubt that the next year will bring you every good thing ❤ stay strong

@MichT4 & having a rough day is fine sometimes lovely & we need them so allow yourself that. The chocolate & cake sound perfect. Maybe get yourself a good chick flick on / series, snuggle up with a blanket for the rest of the afternoon, then maybe a hot bath & face mask tonight. Sometimes we all need a real self care day with no judgements or guilt of anything you think of do.

Everything else will happen in motion as fast as they can. You’ve got it all lined up girl & everything in your control you’ve done. The referrals etc are in, so you just take a deep breath now.

Maybe try research into inositol see if you feel that would benefit at all re regulation of cycles? I know that so many women use that to help regulate things. I’ve taken it the first time this cycle just for reassurance more than anything. There are so many positive BFP stories about it.

xxxx

@MichT4 I'm so so sorry! Please kind to yourself and allow yourself to heal! ❤

@MichT4 your sister really does say the wrong things but that's most likely because she really doesn't understand, like when people say things like it just want meant to be of it's just one of those things. When you are right at the point of going through a mc you just don't need to hear those things.
Definitely keep it all to yourselves now.
How is you do?
Eat your weight in chocolate, cry and let it all out xx

@gizmo167 @2020wish @Lollol86 @Runnergirl1 @Northernsoul90 @HappyVibes thank you girls. It's so lovely having your support. I'm having a rough day, not helped by my sisters advice of 'at least you know and maybe relax with it all for a bit'. I honestly don't think I've felt so alone, with OH at work and judgements like that.
I've told her I'm just not going to discuss it with her any more, I don't need her opinion and I don't want people knowing what we are doing really either. It's too personal and her words are hurting me. I am waiting for a call from my doc this afternoon.

@Lollol86 they couldn't really tell me anything. She just said not to worry and it would pass out with a bleed at some point. I don't think they have any answers to be honest.

@HappyVibes no they aren't particularly regular, and they are long. They were about 38 days before my second MC, so it feels like waiting forever. Today would be CD47, and without any signs of bleeding I have no idea when I'd have blood tests. I feel a fool for being positive after MC2 - I was either going to get pregnant or at least have my bloods. Now here I am with neither.

Really struggling today, I didn't expect it because I was already so certain it wasn't going to be ok. I'll get through it. I've just gone and bought a load of chocolate and cake xx

@gizmo167 something tells me that your length of cycle & your increased CM could very well be a strong indicator of an upcoming BFP!!!! When was/is your AF due? How many DPO are you? Xxx

Oh @MichT4 bless you my lovely! I am really gutted for you to have gone through the journey you have. Part of me wishes you had just got the BFN and then your glimmer of hope wouldn’t have been so deceiving and upsetting for you.

A huge silver lining - you are now referred to the specialist and have all the appropriate oversight.
Hopefully a bit of reassurance, my referral was pretty quick. My appointment was about 6 weeks after referral - and in that time I’ve had all bloods done in preparation for the appointment. So hopefully you’ll get a similar experience timing wise.

I would recommend speaking to your GP ASAP about the bloods as you will need to do them either at the beginning of your cycle, or CD22. So you will need to know ASAP for when you get CD1.

How are your cycles usually? Are they regular? Xxxx

@MichT4 I'm so sorry to hear this 😢😢 I also agree with @Firevie in that although the NHS is amazing at times there are also areas that are lacking - fertility and women's health seems to be one of those areas. It's crazy having to wait for this to happen before getting somewhere. I'm sending lots of love your way ❤️❤️ I'm glad you have finally got your referral and can hopefully now get the correct support and medical guidance that you need. You have shown so much amazing strength and positivity but do allow yourself time to be sad, I hope you get some rest and support at home. We are all here for you xx

@MichT4 I’m so sorry to hear what your going through. Seems awful that to have told you Tuesday with the bloods. I know you said your feeling sad but you seem to have quite a positive attitude about it all. Thankfully they have referred you? But here’s hoping you get your rainbow baby before you even get to that stage. Again so sorry? Sending lots of love x