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Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

Original poster

7 months trying, not coping well

59 replies

Gardenlady543 · 09/08/2020 13:10

Hi all,

I’m a long time lurker, first time poster. We’ve been trying for 7 months now, it looks like it’s another no go this month. I’ve been tracking from the start, I’m using ovusense, I’m inputting that data into naturalcycles as well and I’m using the CB fertility monitor. I’m confident we’re hitting all the right times because it’s consistent across all the devices. Despite that every month it’s the same disappointment, I’m at that time again now and each month it is getting harder and harder.

My Gp has done my blood tests, all were normal and my AMH is 17.3 (I’m 35 so that is average). My partner has his semen analysis this week. No matter what the result I am now pretty set on paying privately for IVF, we ideally would like more than one child, and so freezing embryos would give me reassurance for when I’m older in the future. I’m thinking of arranging a discussion with the local clinic and hopefully a scan as the final bit of the work up from my side.

I’m sure people have had much harder times than me with this, but I’m at the point where I can’t be around families and even the mention of pregnancy or babies on tv is making me upset. I’ve come off all forms of social media as I can’t cope with the, “I got pregnant posts”, it doesn’t seem to be easy for many people, but nobody ever talks about the struggle etc. Does anyone else feel like this?

OP posts:
Cha0907 · 09/08/2020 15:14

Hi @Gardenlady543

We have been trying since January and I get how you are feeling. It’s disheartening month after month trying and no luck. I believe we had a chemical pregnancy back in October last year which is what caused us to start trying. (The chemical wasn’t confirmed but had all the symptoms of being pregnant AF was late by 2 weeks) the same weekend that happened one of my best friends announced she was pregnant and a few months ago when she gave birth it all got a bit too much.

I was on another thread here back at that time and one lady wrote about how each month that passes takes you one step closer to getting your BFP which is a good way to think about it I suppose.

I have also read Luisa Zissmans blog post ‘maybe baby’. She talks about taking Coq10 and vital dha which I have started taking in the last few weeks. Lots of positive stories on her Instagram post about it so hoping this helps as well as folic acid and trying to lose a bit more weight.

It is hard when you feel you can’t talk to anyone about how your feeling and how much the struggle affects you. The only person that knows we are ttc is my mum only because i told her last time I thought I was pregnant. I don’t like to talk to her too much about it though as I feel like I could talk about it all day long and sometimes feel like I’m a bit obsessive 😂 and almost feel like a bit of a bunny boiler don’t ask why when I’ve been with my partner for almost 8 years 😭

Anyway long story short - you aren’t alone although it does feel like that sometimes. This place is a good platform to get everything off your chest. Good luck 🤞🏻 X

Original poster
Gardenlady543 · 09/08/2020 15:08

@mini84 thank you so much for replying, it sounds like we have a lot in common on this journey. Interestingly I had a conversation with a close friend a few months in about the end of cycle disappointment, she told me she felt exactly the same, she then found out she was pregnant and I felt so alone.

I know people are saying 1-2 years but all the statistics I can find seem to give the impression it should have happened by now. I’m not really sure how much more trying and disappointment I can take. I don’t have any confirmation I can get pregnant at all, no faint lines or temperature remaining up, just the standard, negative tests.

I know people have experienced a lot longer waits, health issues affecting fertility and poor pregnancy outcomes. But I can’t help feeling like this :(

OP posts:
Original poster
Gardenlady543 · 09/08/2020 15:01

@YorkshireGirl35 yeah you are right, I’m sure each pregnancy announcement has its own story behind it, it very much feels that those are never spoken about though.

OP posts:
Original poster
Gardenlady543 · 09/08/2020 14:59

@EyeDrops thanks for the kind words, my husband works away so we have to plan everything unfortunately. It does take over my life though. I continue to use the ovusense after I ovulate so I know I’m not pregnant again as my temperature is at period temperature level (36.3 when it runs at 36.8 after ovulation). This stuff is keeping me awake at night.

OP posts:
mini84 · 09/08/2020 14:13

Hi @Gardenlady543
I'm in similar situation to you and spoke to gp this week. We started TTC at start of the year and so they are going to do blood test to see if I'm ovulating. It feels like forever esp with so many other pregnancy announcements and births in between. I am also concerned about being over 35 when I see how fertility levels drop so I also have been considering looking in to ivf. IVF seems to take a long time to get the ball rolling so would obv keep TTC in the meantime and also if we wanted more than one child I'm not sure we could afford the 7+ month wait with TTC each time.
From other replies it does seem like we are being impatient and it is only 7 months Hmm but I can't help but be concerned there is a problem and I don't want to wait too long.
Fingers crossed for us both! I'd be interested to hear how you get on with us being in similar situation.

ivfdreaming · 09/08/2020 13:40

In the kindest possible way I'm going to be honest with you and say that 7 months isn't a "struggle" its really not that long in conception timescales.........I know no one wants to hear that when it is something they so desperately want but the average is 12 months and the statistics say by 24 months the majority of women will be pregnant

At 7 months hiding from other people's happiness and being this consumed with jealousy and bitterness is also not good......it's been 7 months not 7 years?

I'd also seriously question the ethics of an IVF clinic that takes your money after just 7 months of trying when assuming your husbands sperm test comes back normal then all other tests point to you having no issues conceiving naturally within the usual timescales?

I don't want to sound harsh but I think it's better that someone says this to you before you let this consume you and you isolate yourself from friends and family and you will need them and all the emotional and physical strength you can find within yourself if you do experience long term Unexplained infertility or pregnancy loss (and I sincerely hope it doesn't come to that) - this is from someone with 5 miscarriages 2 ruptured ectopics , left infertile by age 36, and 5 rounds of IVF under my belt

rottiemum88 · 09/08/2020 13:33

With all love, though, it's perfectly normal to take 1-2 years, even with everything healthy and working. I'm surprised you've been given tests etc after only 7 months. I'm not saying you're wrong to be struggling emotionally, because I do get it. I'm just reminding gently that there isn't necessarily cause for concern yet.

This. IVF isn't going to be a walk in the park and I'd like to think a responsible clinic would also tell you that after 7 months there's no cause for concern at this point. I do genuinely believe that stress can play a part for some couples though; maybe stop tracking for a couple of months and just see what happens?

YorkshireGirl35 · 09/08/2020 13:25

Hi,
I signed up today after also being a long time lurker.
I just wanted to post to say you are not alone in how you feel, I’m sure lots of other people will be along to say the same!

I started trying just before turning 35, the first couple of months felt ok but it soon becomes depressing peeing on sticks every month checking temps etc all for nothing.

By month 6 I was horrendous, jealous of people’s pregnancy announcements, Crying a lot, convinced my body was broken somehow. I pushed my GP for tests and got completely fobbed off because of covid. So month 7 I binned off all the OPK’s, hid my Ava bracelet and gave up.

Cycle 8 I got the tests out again, got a smiley face on a clear blue, asked the OH to have boring pregnancy sex yet again Grin and somehow this was our month.

I guess what I’m trying to say is you haven’t actually been trying for that long, and neither had I. But at the time it feels like a lifetime!
It also feels like you are surrounded by people who just looked at each other and got pregnant and can’t wait to show off about it Envy However I’m sure you know deep down that it’s a struggle for so many people and sometimes it really is just a matter of time.
Fingers crossed for you!

EyeDrops · 09/08/2020 13:21

It's really tough, I feel for you. Ttc our second took 11 months and it felt like everyone else was getting pregnant, it's heartbreaking and unfair.

With all love, though, it's perfectly normal to take 1-2 years, even with everything healthy and working. I'm surprised you've been given tests etc after only 7 months. I'm not saying you're wrong to be struggling emotionally, because I do get it. I'm just reminding gently that there isn't necessarily cause for concern yet.

I know it's easier said than done, but could you just stop tracking and testing etc for a couple of months? Take that pressure away and just try to enjoy having sex? What has the gp suggested to you?

Hoping you get that bfp soon!