TTC after MC - August 2020 (Thread 9)

@VP91x ah I’m sorry you had a bad experience at Chessington! We’re quite local to it and have passes and went when they first opened up after lockdown and they were really good with restricting numbers, I guess now it’s summer and hot they’re taking full advantage and packing it out!

@scrambledeggy I have 2 girls ages 3 & 7, I'm definitely happy with my set up.
What job do you do? I can get quite bored in my job but it's so flexible and they understand family comes first x

@scrambledeggy I don't love my job (nor do I hate it) but it's really quiet at the minute due to Covid and WFH, which is good in a way as I don't have much to do but I always feel guilty when i am not doing anything as it is so I really don't fancy going back just yet I definitely want next week off and maybe go back after that if I feel stronger mentally.

I'm due annual leave from 28th - 7th as it's my 30th on 6th September so I'll have that week off as well so be nice to break it up I guess.

@Lollol86 "one day" is right! Sounds like you have a lovely setup though How old are your kids? I've been working overtime to try and make sure I get ahead of everyone who might be competing with me for a job in the next year or two but maybe I need to chill out a bit

@Bl0ndi3 So glad you could take time off. I'm training at a university, meaning I have a stipend rather than a proper salary so I'm sort of my own boss, but that does mean I don't really have any extra benefits or leeway if things do go wrong. At the moment continuing work, which I enjoy a lot, is helping me retain a sense of control, but I'm going to commit to finishing a bit early some days so I have time to unwind.

@Northernsoul90 I don't have the experience to give you advice on what to do, but I can sympathise with the being absolutely fed up of not knowing what's going on in there, and wanting someone to just take you seriously. I hope you do get taken seriously, it's the least you deserve.

@Northernsoul90 it’s completely ur call and what u think will be best for u. I believe having a proper af in June helped me hold onto this pregnancy.
I had a loss in jan/feb, got pg straight away in March - lost that pregnancy in April and wasn’t bleeding much even tho the scan said I had a complete mc, then caught again in may which ended up as a chemical and a very heavy AF after that (which I believe may have helped clear out my womb properly) , then my body had a break in June and af came as normal and seemed back to normal, no chemicals or anything. Then July I caught again and so far so good... so maybe a one month break from the stress and pressure and let ur cycles normalise might help u in the long run x

Ladies advice please, DH has suggested not ttc this month so that I can monitor and see what my period is like this time - because of my worries about it being so light this time and potential scar tissue. It does seem like a sensible option but the thought of waiting any longer kills me.

I am speaking to a nurse on Wednesday but I doubt that any referrals will be made based on one period. Would you wait this month out to see what happens with AF? I was considering trying to get in with a private gynaecologist but I'm not sure if you can self refer. I hope I don't sound really ott about this but I just want to know that everything is okay, the last thing I want to happen is potentially leave something untreated for it to get worse

@Bl0ndi3 so I found out on the Monday the baby had no heartbeat and ent in for the mva on the Friday which I had that week off and then my doctor signed me off for another 2 weeks. It just depends on how you feel, some ladies find it better to go straight back and some need some time x

Had a couple wobbles today as I had a couple
of nice messages through from friends and family that got me.

We've been for a walk up to Darwen Tower about 5.5km which was tough and had a few bad cramps whilst on the walk but otherwise actually really enjoyed being out and exercising.

How long have people had off work when they had their MC? I kinda feel like I could find a way to cope if I went back to work but I don't want to have to cope and even think about work etc if that makes sense? Work have been great and just said take what time I need. I've been off since Tuesday afternoon so far when it all started and will probably stay off this week at least too but will need a doctors note 🤔

@scrambledeggy i have 2 children but we are still renting. We had to decide whether we put our lives on hold and saved for a deposit or started a family, we choose to have a family. I'd love to own my house but I just can't save for it at the moment. One day maybe 😂 xx

@2020wish Considering how rude my post was that's such a kind response, thank you so much I'm so sorry to hear what a horrible rollercoaster of a year you've had. I can't imagine the trauma of the job loss, homelessness, and your miscarriage. How amazing that you're still so willing to take the time to offer advice to others. You make a good point- fixating on material things when a lot of the time they are beyond our control, especially now, is nothing but a waste of time and energy. Wishing you brighter things in the future with your pregnancy.

@scrambledeggy don’t think like that. Everyone feels that at some point. Life has a funny way of working out. If it makes u feel any better in feb my partner was on a 51k salary, I was pregnant and was had started the process of buying our own house and our wedding booked for next year. Come March and he was let off due to covid. Our dreams of buying all put on hold and we were basically homeless and are now living in temp accommodation, had to spend a lot of our savings keeping us afloat and bills covered. Wedding pushed back a year now and a miscarriage come April. We are now just starting the process of buying again but now it’s just in my name and for a lot less of a value as my partner is now working a 0 contract job to keep bills paid. He’s applied now to a new permanent job this week so fingers crossed that will work out and I’m pregnant again and further along with finally a strong heart beat!! I’m just decided that everything else is materialistic and my dream house will happen one day and I’ll find the money somewhere to pay for my wedding but right now all that matters is to not stress at what I can’t control. It will all work out for u and I’m sure u have so much to offer and achieved compared to what u think u haven’t achieved. Chin up xx

@Firevie I think I should also take @VP91x 's words of wisdom, my temperature is still well above the cover line but dropped by 0.2 today so I'm feeling a bit meh. Also just found out that an old friend has had a baby today, which is making me a bit bitter, think I'm going to get back out in the garden and take my frustration out on some weeds!

I know this is insensitive and very petty of me, but I can't emphasise enough how jealous I am of the stability you all seem to have. Some of you already have kids, most of you seem to own your own homes, and you are all off on lovely holidays and days out. This year has totally wrecked my financial and career plans, and I feel like such a failure to be still renting and in-between that I can only take my lack of a proper BFP as some kind of personal slight. DH doesn't earn a lot, and I'm in a line of work that takes a long time to train for. I know 25 is still quite young, but.....ah maybe I need another decaff tea to calm me down

@VP91x oh no that sounds awful. I can't believe they packed it out 😡 xx

@VP91x hey lovely! Thanks for checking in on me 😊 I'm doing okay, just been really busy. I'm not sure what's going on with temps/opk. My apps have said that I ovulated on day 16 but I got a static smiley on cb on day 11, so I'm not sure how that is working haha😂 I carried one dtd anyway so I should be covered, although I'm not sure if I even ovulated now. But I feel okay knowing that I have an appointment booked at the end of the month with a fertility doc.

How are you doing? Xx

@2020wish 100% and I haven't even been trying that long, it's just so hard when you have something and it's taken away and then you just want it back straight away. I'll be fine. I've had a lazy day today and it's the worst thing to do as I just sit and think. Tomorrow is a new day xx

@Lollol86 I completely understand. Last month I was so down I even had a chat with my partner about giving up and not trying again until after our wedding in 2 years , even posted here that I wasn’t gonna try in aug. It gets too much.. I’m surprised I ended up pregnant that month as I just felt I wasn’t and I didn’t even tempt or anything. And went away for a long weekend on the drink in my tww convinced I wasn’t. I now believe all that letting go and stress free waiting in the tww heloee implantation along side aspirin. The world has a funny way of working out. Treat urself to a takeaway tonight and a glass of wine. U have been pregnant before and u will again. Xx

@2020wish I'm just having a down day today, you know when it al gets to much and you can't stopped thinking about it, the same always happens as I reach the second half of the tww xx

@Lollol86 I hadn’t got a great feeling about last month either, I had a bit more cm but that was it. Tested on 7dpo just to curb my obsession and lo and behold a BFP that took longer to appear than the 10 mins but it was there. X

@Pugprincess it's so obsessive testing isn't it, I'm only 7dpo and dying to test but I've not got a great feeling about this month. That's amazing how the line has developed. How are you feeling? Xx

@Lollol86 you don’t want to know 😂😂😂 think I did one most days. I started seeing something from 10dpo but didn’t get the stronger line until 12dpo. I’ve just done a clear blue! Bearing in mind this was my 6th wee of the day lol

@Pugprincess that is massive line progression 😍 how many days past ovulation did you start testing? Xx

@VP91x @MichT4 I’m really good thanks, glad it’s cooled down a little (overcast here) just pottering in the garden have a house valuation this week so trying to give it bit more kerb appeal lol we have decided to find out gender so going to book a private scan for next week my nhs one is 31st August but partners still not allowed here so don’t want him missing out how are you both doing? Xx

@Lemondropsandgumdrops you definitely need to start folic acid.
I've become so obsessive with it all, it's all I can think about. I just want to be able to relax whilst trying but it is isn't happening. I'm also in the tww. The waiting is a killer 😂😂

Thank you all for the kind welcome - as rubbish as it is that so many of us have gone through this it’s reassuring to have people who know how it feels!!

I’m officially in the 2WW now, temp rise showed yesterday after the positive OPKs so it’s a case of waiting now. I’ve ordered some ‘trying for a baby’ vitamins as realised I probably should have started the folic acid etc again if we were trying?

My first baby I was ‘properly’ trying - she took a while to conceive and I was so into BBT, constant OPKs, drinking the grapefruit juice etc! This baby we lost, we had one chat about trying for a second (our first was 15 months at the time) and literally 2 weeks later I had a positive test in my hands so it was a total different experience. Then with how long this miscarriage went on for I feel back to that almost obsessive state of wanting to control everything. Really going to try to hold out to test if I can.