TTC 35+ Thread 4 Cougar and Silver Fox Club

Morning everyone 😊 I woke early today so have been out for a (very slow!) jog and feeling much more optimistic.

Not sure if anyone is testing today but 🤞🤞🤞 if you are.

Hi 👋 @CC81 sounds like we're in a similar position. I've been ttc #2 since Christmas too.
I've temped for about 18 months between ttc now and for my LO. I wake up any time between 5 and 8 (and since lockdown haven't set an alarm 🙌) so I know that must affect my results, but even so i can have a positive OPK and not see my temp peak for another 5 days. We now keep dtd till after my temp has risen just in case something funky is going on.
I read 'taking control of your fertility' which was helpful to understand more about bbt.

I also get spotting for days before my period, and can have anywhere from 10-15 days between LH peak and period starting. Annoyingly I had progesterone test, and it was low (26 nmol/L) but because my period came early the dr said this was fine, but i would have thought that my period coming early sometimes suggests that maybe I dont have high enough progesterone levels 🤷‍♀️
We've agreed that if we get to a year of trying with no success then we will go to a private fertility clinic and get some tests done. Until then we'll see what the NHS will allow us, unfortunately I don't think there's much they'll cover as we've already got one.

I got my progesterone checked last cycle just to make sure everything was fine. My doctor is pretty good and was happy to arrange it when I asked. My main reason was that I was getting lots of spotting and I just thought there was no point trying for 6 months if there was something simple going on. This is cycle 4 so I guess if I get nowhere in next 3 months, I’ll try and get referred. Hoping it doesn’t come to that. My oh is very much of the opinion it will happen when it happens and isn’t stressed about it in the slightest. Think I need to try and get some of that from him!!

@CC81 that’s good your cycles are back to normal. Mine were errant for several months after I came off the pill after a very long time. But now they’re regular as clockwork - have been 26-28 days every month since Jan 2018 (I was planning for this before my partner was ready lol)
I’m also wondering whether to do a fertility mot. My main reason is that AMH tests aren’t covered on the nhs so it would have the benefit of this as well. I did a postal AMH test during lockdown and it came out quite a bit worse than average for my age. But it was quite cheap and I’m not convinced of its accuracy so it would be nice to get a second opinion on that! We’ve been lucky with our GP practice so far - they gave me a 21 day progesterone test the day after I had my fertility appt. but my old surgery was a nightmare to book appts so totally understand your frustration. I’ve had strong positive on LH every month for almost a year. But this cycle was weird in that I had a weak positive then a second surge. In some respects it was a blessing as it promoted me to make the medical appts and my partner (reluctantly) agreed to get the sperm tests too.
I also had private hormone tests quite a few years ago (when I was worried about turning 30 and fertility and had a job that covered some of the costs!) all my hormones were normal then apart from progesterone but my doctor was convinced that was stress. Will be interesting to see how things are different now that I’m 5 years older and in a less stressful job. At that time I got an ultrasound too which showed everything was normal. I didn’t get AMH or follicular count for some reason though. I tend to err on the side of more information is helpful, but I’m sure others might disagree!

@cc81 my GP has also referred me for tests but it’s quite a faff and booking isn’t easy so am very tempted for us to pay for them privately and get done ASAP....then at least we know what we’re dealing with. Am 41 and a bit and time is. Or my friend

@SnowWhite1985 - I'm similar - I just assumed it won't happen this month!

I'm now pretty sure my "random spotting" today is actually AF appearing. I have mild cramps too. The bright side is that it would mean my cycle is back to normal (circa 28 days) - whereas the previous one was irregular (36 days), which freaked me out. I think it was due to stress.

We're trying to decide whether to get a private 'Fertility MOT' and if so, WHEN. It costs about £400 for the pair of us and includes scans etc.

But I wonder if I'm being too hasty. In this cycle, I had an LH surge (strong positive OPKs for two days) and a good progesterone result after ovulation (GP test at the weekend), etc.

BUT I'm 38 and we've been trying for over 6 months, so I don't want to waste time!

It can be tricky to book NHS appointments - I'm already feeling stressed about trying to get a 'day 3' blood test booked at the right time; and also get my husband to arrange his test. Whereas a private suite of tests would just get everything dealt with efficiently and with the extra reassurance of scans, etc. Hmmm.

Sorry for all the bins

I’m in fw now and it’s roasting and oh is exhausted from work. No idea how I’m ever gonna make this work 🙈🙈

Hi @Semele5069, we’re having the same tests atm - had my 21 day progesterone a few days ago and have my day2-5 test arranged for next week. Agree that it’ll feel better to know if there’s any issues. And get referred so we can at least know what’s up.
Sorry for the disappointments @Keepeas @M4v3r1ck. It’s the worst. I’m just waiting for my AF to arrive in the next day or two as well. Not entertaining any hope for this month - it’s the most negative I’ve felt about a cycle for some reason and I believe there’s zero chance this month whereas other months I’ve always had hope and done lots of pregnancy tests.

I spoke to my GP this morning and she is referring me to the infertility clinic! I was worried I wouldn't qualify as I have got pregnant 2x in the year we've been trying, just haven't been able!e to hold onto them. She rang the clinic to discuss though and they've said they will accept the referral. So that's way more than I expected from the appointment- I was hoping she would agree to thyroid and vitamin D blood tests!

So now I booked in for CD21 bloods, then have to rebook for between CD2-5 of next cycle. My partner has to arrange a sperm analysis too. Then when we have the results of those she will refer me on.

Definitely feeling more positive. Either something will come up that we can address or we can carry on without worrying there's something big that's totally preventing us getting pregnant again

@claireb707 so sorry. I think you said you had some time off at the end of the month, hang on in there. Altho if you’re really struggling, consider taking some sick days.

@CC81 welcome! This group is great. I can’t help with the temping I’m afraid, but I think stress and anxiety about TTC really doesn’t help. I’m aware I’ve done that to myself this month. So hard to relax when you start tracking. I feel like I may have interfered with ov this month from stress. Hardly any EWCM when I usually have tons, and lacklustre LH tests.

Love to everyone, especially those having a hard time / negative tests

Thanks @M4v3r1ck - I agree, it's hard not to obsess!

I was determined to be easygoing about the process, but it hasn't worked out that way.

February = I didn't monitor anything, so don't know if timings were right. March = We had a month off trying. April/May = Normal(ish) cycles and started a bit of monitoring. June/July = Irregular cycle and got REALLY STRESSED, but finally got the hang of monitoring stuff. August = Started tests and things seem okay so far.

When I look at it like that, it's not that bad really. But I got super-anxious in June/July... perhaps partly why my cycle went a bit weird.

Welcome @CC81 - sorry I can't help with the query, but maybe someone else can! This is a fab group! 😘

Boo to the BFNs! 😔😔😔 Sadly that's AF here for me, so onwards to cycle 4! Trying not to obsess, get worried etc! Not gonna lie though, it's hard!

🤞🏻🤞🏻🤞🏻 to the golden ovaries in the TWW!!! 😘😘😘

Think I'm in a MH funk, work is shit as well, think I'm just overdone and need a break roll on end of the month. Still keep crying but not just about ttc now.

Oh, and just to complicate matters, I have some random brown spotting (light) today, about 10-12 days after ovulation.

I've sometimes had the same in previous months and wondered if it was implantation bleeding - but then my period has appeared shortly afterwards, so I'm not optimistic!

I know that mid-cycle spotting can be a sign of low progesterone, but I know it's not that, because my progesterone test a few days ago showed a decent level.

I hate all the uncertainty!!! :/

Thanks @SnowWhite1985 :)

Yeah, a few people have recommended Fertility Friend... I may enter all my last month's data into that, to see what it says.

I've found the Clue app handy for monitoring other things, but not temping (I've used Femometer for the latter).

But to be honest, I think my results are all weird anyway... I go through phases of disturbed sleep, so conditions aren't quite right for testing. My temp often seems higher first-thing in the morning (compared with later in the day), which isn't very 'basal'!

Welcome @CC81! I don’t know much about temping as I’ve only done it for 2 months now. Someone suggested I use fertility friend rather than femometer and I do find it easier to read / interpret. The algorithms are apparently different so you might want to input your temp data into that app. That’s what I did - but now both apps are showing different ovulation dates (one at CD10 and one at CD14). From my extremely limited knowledge I would have thought the same as you - that ovulation would have been earlier in the dip that you have before the rise. Sorry that’s not very helpful - still learning myself too!

Hello everyone - good to meet some fellow 'mature' ladies :) I've had a rocky few months and am trying to calm down a bit! I'm 38 and TTC #2 (first child was conceived immediately when I was 35).

Been trying since the start of the year, but I think the weirdness of lockdown messed up my cycles (it was full-on trying to do childcare and work at the same time). Also, I've only recently got the hang of all the cycle lingo and how everything seems to work. Tests indicate that I'm ovulating, which is good.

I posted about my weird BBT chart in a separate thread, but no replies yet - does anyone know about these things?!

Here it is:
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/3993364-does-this-bbt-chart-make-sense-ttc

@SnowWhite1985 @Keepeas great plan! Focusing on health can’t be a bad thing and if it distracts us from TTC stressing then even better!

@SnowWhite1985 I think lockdown has not been kind to many of us regarding weight! I usually put on weight in by bum and hips, but it’s all over this time and everything looks so jiggly 🙈. My partner is in the same boat, he is doing more exercise but is terrible with nutrition. I think he’ll try harder if I make more of an effort with food, he’s very excited about TTC (and not just for the DTD bit!).

I’m still getting the hang of my cycles post Mirena removal. Removed 19th May, spotted for about 10 days (think just related to the removal) light period 25th June and a proper one 21st July. So I’m estimating 26 days, but let’s see this month! The last time I had natural periods was probably 20 years ago

[quote mouldygrapes]@Keepeas not sure re implantation. Also it sucks seeing pregnant people everywhere, sorry.

If I’m not pregnant this month (or even if I am) then I’ve really got to lose some weight. I feel so lumpy and awful, and it’s not healthy[/quote]
think you're right @mouldygrapes, best to have a plan for how to improve things, I'm going to focus on exercise and nutrition this month, at least then I'll feel healthier even if I'm not pregnant!

BFN here too 😔 not unexpected, but im feeling pretty flat. Onwards to next month. Another pregnant mum at nursery this morning when I dropped off my little one. Even my OH has started noticing pregnant women everywhere!

Hi @mouldygrapes
Great we are cycle-buddies. I’m really sorry for your negative test. It’s always so soul destroying hence why I didn’t really bother this cycle. In past cycles I’ve done 4 or 5 tests, which I think has negatively impacted my mental health! What length are your cycles normally? Mine are really consistent - almost always between 26 and 28 days so I’m expecting AF any day now. I have only done the temping thing this month and last month. Last month’s graph was pretty jaggedy but this month it allowed me to see the two LH surges. I’ve also found it useful for knowing when AF is starting as I saw a massive drop in temp last month the night before AF came on so it mentally prepared me slightly earlier!
DP and I have both put on weight during the lockdown too. Him more than me and he took it particularly hard not to be able to go to the gym. We’re trying to focus on nutrition and exercise and health, but it’s hard with this emotional rollercoaster! I binge eat whenever I get a BFN! I guess that’s another reason not to test! Best of luck with your weight loss - it’s so hard but hopefully it’ll be really positive health changes not only for ttc but also for your own wellbeing xx

Hey @SnowWhite1985 we’re at similar cycle points. I just got a negative test at 10 dpo (CD23) and wish I hadn’t bothered. Goals for next cycle will be to do the temp thing properly, and try not to stress. Also weight loss as mentioned, I’m sure that’s not helping

Just catching up on messages - no idea where the last couple of days went! @claireb707 I’m so sorry 😭 glad you’re feeling a bit better and more positive. I’m the same way most months - it hits me so hard when there’s another bfn.
I’m now on CD25, 11 or 15 DPO depending which of my surges was ovulation. I feel kindof AF-like though so pretty sure I’m out again this month. I haven’t been POAS this cycle to see if BFP or BFN (other than one random optimistic day) as I think we got it all wrong so didn’t feel like there was hope. On to the next cycle, I suppose. Feeling quite sad, but not at my normal stage of depression / meltdown yet. Will hopefully get some of my test results back soon so at least that’s some info.
@FridaKFangirl I’ve ordered various cheapies online. I now try to stick to the wondfo ones because I’ve had mixed experiences with the standard cheapie ones That you see on amazon from loads of different suppliers. Some have been great then with others the lines have been so faint they’re barely visible. Maybe a bad batch but when you order 50 it’s not ideal! I definitely don’t aim either - dipping is best lol.
Hugs to all xx

Hi all, congratulations to all the bfp!!

I'm just pulling up a seat to wait out another cycle. I think I've missed ovulation this cycle, so expecting a BFN already and my ttw starts tomorrow