TTC 35+ Thread 4 Cougar and Silver Fox Club

Thanks for the support, all - it really helps :)

My GP apt to discuss my FSH result was predictably unhelpful. She started the call with “you’re on my list to call today - but I don’t know the background” and “I don’t know the guidelines for fertility issues” - then suggested calling me back 24 hours later after she’d checked with another doctor!

I said NO - I’ve waited a week for this call and am quite distressed about the issue, so would really like some advice TODAY, please. She was worried about my welfare (!), so she talked to another doctor straight away and called me back (which I appreciated).

The upshot was, they don’t draw conclusions from just one test, so I need to do another one. And because of age / trying for more than 6 months, they’ll refer me to a fertility specialist. So at least it’s a step forward.

On the bright side, based on her experience, the GP didn’t seem overly concerned by the test result (and was encouraged by the fact I had my first child with no problems, only three years ago). But I think she was generalising and it isn’t really her area.

I still intend to go ahead with the private clinic tests/consultation in September, but I also want to follow the NHS route, for an alternative opinion. I’ve booked a phone apt with a different GP in Sep (one who’s more knowledgeable on the subject).

In the meantime I’m looking forward to my acupuncture consultation on Monday morning (with a Chinese doctor) and am trying to relax about everything...

Finally. Cd 19 and I have lots of ewcm and a high on my opk. Hopefully get peak soon and into 2ww. Usually ovulate day14 so think my body is just trying to catch me out this time round

@M4v3r1ck I’m intrigued by this golden ovary bowl 🤣🤣

Sounds like everyone is having a tough few days. Hope the weekend is more positive! I’ll be glad to see the end of this week at work too and have some nice plans for the weekend so just looking forward to that!!

Think I'm going to either ovulate late this month or not at all. I'm cd12, normally I've had 2-3 days of flashing smileys by now but big fat 0 so far 😢

@Hayley19835 @PrintingProblems @claireb707 @CC81 Sorry to hear you are all having a tough time. Hopefully venting here will help a little and hopefully things improve IRL.

I'm coming to the end of my FW today, various things have meant we only DTD a couple of times so I'm not going to stress this TWW - it's highly unlikely so I'll call this a rest month!

@M4v3r1ck - The golden ovary bowl sounds like a massive sporting event...like the SuperBowl....

Morning. AF arrived today for me. No surprise and im fine with it. Hoping my cycles are getting more regular now. Only in 3rd cycle.
Here's to another cycle ladies xx

@Elspethelf amazing news!!! 😍😍😍😍😍😍 Come on ye golden ovaries! 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻

@Hayley19835 @PrintingProblems @claireb707 @CC81 I'm so sorry to hear about your issues, so frustrating! Sending lots of virtual love! 😘 Remember we are always here for ranting and support!

Happy Friday ladies! I'm supposedly in my fertile window, but trying these easy@home tests for the first time and I'm either low or getting no reading! 🤔 Is it possible that I drink too much water?!?! Oh and I have a golden ovary bowl for the job! 🤪🤣

Thank you for the welcome everyone. Congrats on the positives this week.

It sounds like a fair few of you have had a tough few days. I’m going to join in as I’m grumpy too.

I think I’m out this month. Since we started trying my period has begun with a couple of days of really light spotting before getting on with it properly, which just keeps my hopes up for a couple more days. The last 2 cycles I’ve felt absolutely shattered by the end of it, which I’ve hoped was a good sign each time. (Last month I even had really bad wind for about a week, which I remember my sister had, so I even took that as a good sign! (Sorry for the TMI!))

Work is not good, I’m really busy and fed up, which I know my body doesn’t need, and I’m genuinely worried it could really get in the way of us trying next month. I got a rash all over my arms this week, and I actually think it might be stress eczema, which I haven’t had in years! Mouth ulcers too, haven’t had them in years either! I’ve started looking for another job, but it’s not a great time is it?!

I think I could sum it up that I’m worried if I stay where I am I’m not going to conceive, but if I move I could end up pregnant in a really uncertain situation, perhaps even end up without a job.

To top it all off I’m feeling disappointed for waiting so long for the “right” time to start a family.

I’m so tired, and the neighbours have got people round in their garden.

Sorry my first contribution is a big whinge, but I needed to unload this and like a lot of you have said, there’s not many people I can share this with!

Well I'm out again this month. Period turned up last night so spent today feeling sorry for myself. It's exactly 3 years of TTC now. Started myo inositol yesterday so hoping it will help me to ovulate earlier. It's thanks to this page that I knew what it was. Hope everyone else is ok and congratulations to the new BFPs.

I found out today (based on responses on another thread) that my gp didn't request the FSH / LH tests so I'm going to have to book with gp to get them requested and then book a blood test to get them done. I'm cd11 now so have missed the boat this month.

They told me they had done all the tests they needed to for me 😩😩🤬 so frustrating as its been 4 months since I had the blood tests. And I thought we were only waiting for the SA results (which still haven't come through)

Uggggh that is awful @CC81 - the quality of GP practices is really crazy in this country! My old GP practice was like this - totally abysmal and useless. My new practice since we moved across the country is amazing, it feels like a private practice they’re so comprehensive and kind. So frustrating for you!
I just had my FSH/LH test this afternoon and will get the results on Monday. Got my progesterone results today and it was 45 which is apparently really good. Was nice to have some good news for a change! Last time I had progesterone tested it was 9 (although mistimed and I was really stressed at the time). So that’s a relief (as long as it doesn’t fluctuate massively month to month?). When I was there they booked my DP in for his appointment and SA so now he has no excuse to procrastinate lol. So in a couple of weeks we’ll know what’s what I guess. I’ll still try and book an AMH test privately as well, I think. The nurse said the only other thing I can get on the nhs is the tube dye thing which she says some people think helps flush out the tubes so might be worth getting. Would definitely appreciate your advice once I get the dreaded FSH Back - that’s the one I’m really worried about now.
Hugs to all xx

Here is my RANT about the stressfulness of any kind of contact with my GP practice (sorry in advance for moaning).

It's actually really bothering me, because I think they messed up test results last year (or a ball was dropped somewhere) that MIGHT have given me more warning about my current situation.

The private clinic asked me to get test results from my GP so they can look at them alongside the private tests. I also want to see them myself, due to the concerns I mention above.

Call 1 (yesterday): Called to request results. Long, convoluted conversation, but gave them various dates etc. They promised to email them.

Call 2 (today): Email not received, so called to chase. Turns out they mispelled my email address (even though it's on the system). So they tried again.

Call 3: Still no email, so called again. Some sort of IT problem. Had to get the supervisor to do it.

Email 1: A few results arrived from this year, but nothing else. So...

Call 4: Called again to request the ones from last year.

Email 2: Partial results from one set of tests last year. Most still missing. Queried via email and was told they can't supply any more.

Call 5: Called to ask again and was told that some results can only be supplied by the doctor, not reception. So I need to ask in my phone appointment this afternoon. But why oh why has it taken so many calls and emails to discover this?

The thing is, last year, it was reception who told me by phone that my hormone results were "all normal" (in May, June and July). I never saw full results. So can you see why I'm worried that I didn't get the full picture last year???!

My trust in the NHS system was unfortunately already shaky, and this really adds to what's already a stressful situation. It's hard to know how to deal with it.

@Hayley19835 - I have no advice to offer, due to lack of experience (apologies), but I really hope you find a way through this.

@mouldygrapes - Thank you, and I'll be really interested to hear about your acupuncture experience! My first appointment is on Monday morning!!!

@SnowWhite1985 - Relaxing is now my primary goal... which has NOT been helped by recent contact with the reception team of my GP practice (more on that shortly!).

I see that someone else has explained SMEP :) It's all common sense really, and we don't follow it to the absolute letter, but it's a good template.

Hope your test results come back okay, particularly the dreaded FSH. But if not, I can share a few bits of encouraging info with you, from my obsessive researching since my own result.

@Hayley19835 DH count was the reason for ivf referral, motility was fine. Although my thyroid function results weren’t quite right either. I had very irregular periods when we were trying too, which made things tricky in practical terms. And of course I would get my hopes up only to find my period was like...11 days late! Thankfully now they are back to 28 days. So hoping it might happen again, and more quickly this time.

*problem

@Highlandmama yea it's such a struggle as we are doing everything we can and still not getting anywhere. was it just your OHs count that was the probably or did he have other issues aswell?

@Hayley19835 that’s so tough. Our first pregnancy was MMC too but have a LO who is almost 2 as well. It’s so tough waiting, and so difficult when every month it’s a negative. Really wishing you well.

@Highlandmama that's good to hear I have also been pregnant before but it ended in miscarriage so know he can do it it's just taking a long time for anything to happen xx

@Dia12 no he hasn't been checked for prostatitis. I'll mention this to our specialist at our next visit. He gave up smoking when we first started this journey in December and occasionally has a drink but not very often. I'll look into those supplements thank you 😊

@lucieloos count is low 3.1m and motility is really low I can't remember the number exactly but she said they are really lazy I've searched high and low for tips to improve motility and it's all things we are already doing xx

@Hayley19835 sorry to hear that. Do you have a copy of the results or know what parameters were low?

@Hayley19835 I’m so sorry you have had this news. It also seems really unfair that funded IVF isn’t an option for you. I think it must be a postcode thing. Don’t lose heart, although I know it’s tough. My DH has a low count and I’ve fallen pregnant twice. I remember how upset I was when the consultant told us that based on our results it could take “many years” to fall pregnant naturally and that IVF was our best option. I was 34 at the time. But we did fall pregnant naturally, before starting the IVF process. My friends husband also had a low count and they have two lovely boys. Good you have a strong support network and good you are able to share on here too.

Congratulations @Elspethelf I’m thrilled for you! Glad you have your BFP!

That's great that your DH has the all clear in that respect. Have you checked for prostatitis?
My DH took proxceed, Ubiquinol, pine bark extract and vit D.
Otherwise he's quite healthy, doesn't drink/smoke etc.
Good luck xx

@Hayley19835, I’m so sorry to hear this bad news. I feel awful for you. Perhaps it’s good they’re doing a third test, just to be sure. It seems really unfair that you’re excluded from NHS coverage because your OH already has a child when you don’t. I didn’t realise that was the rule! Our health region doesn’t cover IVF at all, it’s one of those anomalies in the system. We may have to move next year though for my DPs work so it might actually be a good thing to move to an area where it is covered. The rules seem so arbitrary! Is there nothing they can do to improve your DPs SA issue other than IVF? I thought there were like midway options of insemination. I know nothing about this though - I’ve read so much about women’s issues and not so much about men’s. @Dia12 Seems to have some good advice.

Thanks, @FridaKFangirl! not sure how I missed this resource lol, I thought I’d googled everything about ttc! Thankfully it’s pretty much what we do each cycle anyway, except I have to push the start date of the “every other day” schedule back to at least day 6 or 7 as I usually ovulate on CD10-12. We’re not always consistent in when we DTD - whether it’s every other day or every day or at weird times, but I’m presuming that doesn’t matter too much as long as it’s frequent in the fertile window? It’s hard to keep up the stamina each cycle isn’t it! Our energy levels really fluctuate too. Sometimes it feels like a big effort! Then one day last cycle DP wanted to DTD twice in one day 🤣 didn’t make any difference though 😭 I guess all the stars have to align for a good lucky cycle

@mouldygrapes my AFs have gotten so much shorter too. One day of hell then another lighter day then that’s basically it! No complaints on that from my perspective but I was worried it might be a bad sign for fertility. I asked my doctor but she said it was normal. I’m a bit worried about the tests / test results this week but also just want to know what the situation is. My DP seems to be putting off booking his SA, so will need to lightly encourage him to also do that soon! Good luck with your acupuncture session - can’t wait to hear how it went!

@FridaKFangirl so unfair they don't consider people's mental health in this situation at all! Luckily I have a strong support network around me or could be a different story! xx

Thank you @Dia12 can I ask what vitamins he was taking? He's had a testicular scan and that's all come back clear so we know there's nothing structurally wrong. Also had genetic bloods and they are all clear aswell. He's been taking Wellman Conception but they have made no difference to his count at all xx