TTC after MC - July/August 2020 (Thread 8)

Girls I just don’t know what to think. Just come off the phone with the doctor and basically they are going to do nothing. She said that because the cycles are regular (26-31 days) and the main bleeding lasts five days, and because we can rule out pregnancy and stds there’s no problem. She said because I have a 20 month old and had a recent miscarriage and am 30 hormones are probably all over the place and to just wait longer for them to settle. She said to throw away the opk tests and call back in three months if this spotting continues. I’m just absolutely crying and don’t even feel I can take much more of this. I feel the spotting is a concern but the doctor said it’s normal. I don’t feel I can wait another three cycles of this. Feeling so low.

@Northernsoul90 implantation pain maybe?🤞🤞

@chloedancer897 @Northernsoul90 thank you ladies! You’re right....taking it bit by bit. I will Test again this afternoon to confirm peak and then just see what the eve brings xx

@Rb486 Yes maybe get an early detection or wait a couple of days to retest if you possibly can... I feel for you being on a ward all day! I hope you have chance to enjoy some evening sun tonight xx

@Firevie I would be annoyed at that as well and I'm completely of the same opinion as @MichT4 in that yes I'm not drinking much now (id say once a month if that - twice if we have stuff planned) but I'm not putting my entire life on hold while ttc. Until I have a bfp I'm just going to continue to enjoy a couple of glasses of wine or whatever when I feel like it. Life's too short, enjoy a glass of fizz ☺️.

So I had those pains on and off all day yesterday I'd say they were quite sharp and would liken them to ovulation cramps. I wanted to dtd just in case I actually hadn't ovulated the first time and ovulated yesterday but DH feel asleep knackered from work. Last time we dtd was Tuesday so I hope I did ovulate first time round and the pains were just something else! I should be 8dpo today 🤞🏼

@Firevie play it by ear. Don't force it. Honestly, we did that last month and I remember getting really sad thinking if we made a baby that way it was a bit depressing because it felt like work! Listen to your body and do what works for you both. Try not to get bogged down by peaks and fertile windows and just spend a bit of time together and enjoy each other's company x

@chloedancer897 thanks so much and totally agree. I haven’t even had my first AF since MC yet so we said not to get bogged down by this right now but if it happens and we get ovulation right then why not which is why I took an OPS this morning and we DTD last night. Not sure I’m feeling all that hot for this evening haha xx

Thanks @MichT4 we are definitely enjoying ourselves a bit more this month which helps. Last month it was so regimented, and I know I was forcing it when neither of us wanted to. Your temps look promising! I have my fingers crossed for you this month x

@Firevie absolutely! They have to institute changes too to create healthy sperm. That being said, I think everything in moderation works well but certainly if you have to give things up, he needs to do the same at least for solidarity. And hopefully it'll be short lived and he can resume normal habits once you get your BFP! Good luck with everything. It's so easy to get completely bogged down with it all after MC. I went on a mini rampage after and made it all so unenjoyable because I had read that you're really fertile after mc but I didn't give my body time to heal. So I feel in a much better place now in cycle 3 following MC

@chloedancer897 thank you! And couldn’t agree with you more. I think that’s the whole misconception as well / everywhere you read it etc that the woman is supposed to make all of these changes but men get away with doing nothing! That’s what I said to DH just now, I said he should also lower his alcohol intake etc. And he said no it’s fine for us which he knows isn’t true! I think there’s an educational piece that needs to happen for men so that they understand TTC is a journey of both partners and not just for women. Sorry rant over xx

@MichT4 thank you!!! I may not have a drink after all but what bugged me was him saying I shouldn’t!
Anyway, I better get my mood right for this DTD lol. I only had my ERPC on 14 July and doc advised to wait for two weeks before DTD. So, we finally did yesterday. So, I guess that’s good as I don’t know how long I’ve been in my peak already. But noted what you’re saying and will DTD today and the next two days to maximise chances. Is it true that once you’re post ovulation that this is when you should drink less as that is the two week period that your bean gets in there?! Sorry I’m absolutely clueless as just had ERPC, no AF as yet and just starting OPKS and BBT to get a better idea of what my body is doing. Xxx

@Firevie I think so much pressure is put onto us to change our habits and it's really stressful. I had an argument with my OH a few weeks ago because we've both stopped drinking completely (other factors were involved too, not just TTC) but I've also cut out caffeine and found it really hard. Anyway, he smokes a vape but sometimes he treats himself to one cigarette, I'd say 2 a week or something but I completely lost it with him because I've cut so much out and he's drinking all the coffee and smoking away. They have to make health changes too! Anyway, you need to also be relaxed and happy to make a baby so if a glass of bubbly on a sunny day relaxes you then definitely go for it!

SMEP says to DTD for the next 3 days, I suppose it's so you don't miss your opportunity in that fertile window but don't put pressure on yourself either. It only takes one time to make a baby and you should enjoy doing it! That's what I didn't like about SMEP, it made it seem more like a chore. Enjoy the lovely weather today. In Ireland it's been raining non stop!

@Hayleylou89 good luck for today. The cervical stitch is minimally invasive and works so well, I'm so glad your hubby can come with you, I'm sure that'll make everything just slightly easier. Rest up after and keep us updated xo

@Firevie I don't think you are being unreasonable at all. You can have a drink if you want one, I'll be having one later today, and tomorrow. I drink much less and infrequently now I'm TTC but bottom line is, until I have a bean in there, it's ok to have a drink. And it makes you feel like there's more to life than TTC!

So I think when you get your peak, the advice is to DTD that day and for the next 2 days, so 3 in a row. But then also lots of people say every other day across the FW is fine. I guess it's whatever works best for you, without is becoming too much of a chore, though of course sometimes it has to be done on those important days. What days have you DTD so far this week? xx

@MichT4 thanks for confirming. Are you supposed to DTD every day whilst you’re in your peak? How long does the peak last for? I’ve just had an argument with DH so we are not talking - he better apologies by this evening so we can DTD lol. Argument was about having a drink. So, since lockdown I’ve massively cut back on alcohol to hardly anything and obv nothing when I was pregnant. After ERPC I had couple of drinks one evening for our anniversary. I said during TTC I want to keep it to a minimum ie only having a drink when there’s an occasion. This morning I said ‘the weather is lovely - we should go for a picnic this evening and have a bubbly drink’. He said yes sure you can have non alcoholic drinks. I got mad saying why can I not have a drink. He said well you said you want to be uber healthy while TTC etc. I guess now that you ladies have confirmed I’m in my peak window I may actually not drink anyway but it pissed me off that he said that. Am I being unreasonable? Thanks xx

@Firevie and that is definitely peak, I agree! xx

@Rb486 do you have a picture? Love a picture! I'd possibly get an early detection one, but whatever you feel more comfortable with.
Ugh can't imagine being on a hot ward today 🥵 hope it goes nice and quickly and you get some time to cool off! xx

Morning ladies, thank you for all your positive lovely messages towards my test last night. It was exactly the same this morning, I’m having cramps today also. Not bad but achey. I’m tempted to get a better test or just wait until Tuesday? I did have to do my test at 3.45am, lol! As my partner came back really early for a night shift and I needed a wee 😂 couldn’t hold until 5.45 when I was due to get up! Lol! Hope everyone has a nice day, enjoy the sunshine. I’m stuck on a boiling hot ward!! Xxx

@VP91x haha thanks. We did DTD yesterday...shall we keep DTD every day for the next couple of days? Xx

@VP91x ahh thanks I didn’t know that day of surgery would be CD1. Ok, so is he CD18 now. Yes, I will do a test this afternoon and update.
@MichT4 see pic from this morning attached. I will do another one this afternoon. Xx

@Hayleylou89 good luck for today xx

@VP91x ah I much prefer that point of the cycle to the 2ww! So I had loads of cramps in the night and woke up to more red spotting. Definitely think af is on her way so I called my go. Waiting for a telephone appointment this morning. Hoping they will give me some progesterone test. I did a pregnancy test and got a negative this morning just because when I speak to gp I figured they would ask if I had tested xx

@VP91x I've done two a day the last 2 days, Wednesday was the change between Fem and EAH. One a day the two days before that but they were pretty light. Ah well, we'll see 😂. Today I am too happy about the sun, and our night away tomorrow, I don't even care (ish) 😂

Much planned today? No door sanding I hope! xx

@VP91x yeah it's a bit annoying but I think at this stage, I'm not surprised 😂. Will see what the OPK says today and what the temps do over the next couple of nights. Hopefully I get some clear signs. Maybe I missed the peak? Who knows!

A nap sounds good. I appreciated a little lie in compared to office days today. Of course I ache from training 🙄

@Firevie im pretty sure anything over 1 is a peak on premom. Do you have a picture?

@Hayleylou89 good luck today. Sending lots of love and wishes for a nice, smooth, comfortable procedure xx