TTC after MC - July 2020 (Part 5)

@Mommybear05 heya!! Lovely to see you again! I find the ladies at school seem to be asking a lot too - I did tell a few when I had the mc and they are so good and don’t ask anything and help deflect when others start prying!! 2 of the 3 had also had mc themselves so completely understood! I know people think it’s conversational, or polite etc - but I find it weird people ask about babies/pregnancy/wanting children! That being said - I worked at Mothercare for a long time whilst at uni and after - and you see and hear so many stories that I vowed I would never ask someone as you never know what they are going through!

@MichT4 hopefully everything is all ok - I have had friends that have spotted all the way through pregnancies, it’s strange how pregnancy can vary so much between everyone! Positive thoughts your way from me though xx

@VP91x I’m due af anywhen between July 17/20th as I switch between 27/29day cycles! So I will aim for a test date of July 20th - hopefully lol xx

@MichT4 I'm standardly trying to stay positive... 1st day off of the week and had a lovely morning with OH involving a Disney film. You totally have the right idea, I have so much faith that everything will be fine for you and little bean and either way I'll be here to support you throughout.

And with the being honest thing, although I hadn't told many people about the pregnancy after the MC I read so many peoples stories and it made me so sad that it's almost this shameful secret women carry around with them. I totally get people not wanting to share but I'm so inspired by the public figures that do, it's awful but also comforting to know that we are not alone in this experience x

Thanks @SmileyT, I am remaining positive until I know otherwise. I thought I’d be in a mess if this happened again but I feel strangely calm at the moment. See how long that lasts 😂
I’ll be chilling today and not moving too much from my sofa

How are you?

I love that you’re honest with everyone, must feel refreshing to be able to speak openly and share your story, shows real strength xx

@Mommybear05 ahh I've missed you on these threads so much, I've thought of you so often... I was so hoping that you had got your BFP and long forgotten about us. Ooh you are still just ahead of me I'm CD23 right now and expecting AF on Friday night/ Saturday morning but temps been all over the place this month so not even sure I ovulated but I've kinda convinced myself August is my month (based on nothing) How is the bf going? Still dropped the night feeds? I've told pretty much everyone that I talk to about the MC and strangely it really takes the pressure off as nobody would be so insensitive to ask on progress now, even most people at work know x

@MichT4 as others have said some form of bleeding in pregnancy can be very normal, it's impossible not to worry but try and keep stress levels down and rest loads, no long walks or anything to aggregate things in there ❤️

@Wishingfornumber2 I've had to come off of all social media as just can't face the updates, it's so hard because I want to be happy but also feel so much jealousy which is horrible. And somebody said to me at work 'do you want to start a family now' and I replied with 'well I was pregnant and sadly miscarried so I would love a family but I just don't know when it will be my time' strangely the more people I talk to about it the more people open up to me about their struggles x

Thanks @Northernsoul90 and @VP91x. It was just when I wiped, a few times on my first wee. Now it’s brown again but more like brown blood rather than the tinge I had yesterday. Still only when I wipe. Resisting the urge to keep going to the loo so I can check.
I feel ok at the moment, I just hope it goes away again. I think if it doesn’t I’ll call my EPU directly tomorrow and see what they suggest. If it’s not good news then we will be ok, just jump back in and keep positive.
I still feel really sick so I’m hoping that’s a good sign. Will have to keep an eye I guess, and hope for the very best of sticky beans 🤞🏼🤞🏼🤞🏼🌈🌈🌈

@Mommybear05 welcome back to the group. Sorry you’ve had such insensitive comments. It’s so strange people think they have the right to say things to people, without any idea what they are going through. We spoke about that a little last night strangely and OH said he would never ask anyone or assume anything about PG now because of what we’ve been through. Some people are just ignorant to it. Hard to resist the urge to tell them to keep quiet and tell them why, but they don’t deserve your story either.
Uurrggghh, winds me up

@VP91x iv been doing cheap ovulation tests just faint lines so far and my app says 8th for ovulation if it follows my cycles pre misscarriage.

When I was in the hospital they said they couldn't outrule a polyp but said nothing about it when they discharged me so Im just weary of that!

@wishingfornumber2
@nothernsoul
It's so hard isn't it that we go through some of our hardest times in silence, people just don't think when they mention why you havnt had kids yet that you might actually be trying and while you struggle everyone seems to be getting pregnant at the drop of a hat. I am taking a break from social media because i was just needed to stop looking at everyone getting pregnant.

Just wondering where everyone is from on the group and if anyone is from Scotland?

@Mommybear05 I think schools can be particularly hard work with things like ttc (dare I say because it’s a lot of women usually in one place 😣). I have told close friends and family about ttc and then after my mc I think the rest have just presumed.

Sorry that you have had a difficult journey, I always feel like there’s one thing after another or something getting in the way when ttc when all you want is you cycles back properly. I hope you get caught soon 🤞🏼

I started ttc baby number 1 in around November last year, we wanted to start straight away after getting married in August so I came off the pill but needed to carry on using contraception for a couple of months in case of zika (we got married abroad). We were trying for 6months ish before I fell pregnant in April although it had been a bit sporadic with DH working away.

The pregnancy seemed to be going fine, I had the usual symptoms and very bad nausea and sickness which started at 6 weeks. I had nothing telling me there was an issue but I am an anxious person so booked an early scan at 8 weeks privately. I went for my first midwife app on the Tuesday and then the scan on the Thursday where I found out the pregnancy sac was empty - they call it a blighted ovum. So effectively a mmc. I had to had an mva procedure as I wasn’t miscarrying naturally and that was done on the 8th June. Currently waiting to get my cycles back so I can start ttc properly but I’m still having positive tests which is really frustrating. I’m back at EPU next week for a blood test which hopefully tells me the hormones have gone 🤞🏼

Ahh @Mommybear05 yes remember you. Really strange, I was only thinking the other day of the ladies on the April thread when I first joined and how everyone is getting on.

That’s so hard when people comment like that. When people say oh when are you having another one I want to scream I should already have one! But just bottle it and say hopefully sometime soon. Hope you are ok. X

@Northernsoul90 maybe schools are rife for this sort of stuff. I have told all family and friends ttc. Now really regretting it as it just completely adds to pressure. I’m exhausted with it all. As soon as son was born we said little age gap, no contraception from now until we have three kids and then I’ll get fixed job done. But it really hasn’t been that simple. Breakout me in lactational amenorrhea for 13 months and then I had a mc. There was al this pondering whether to stop bf to ttc. Just felt conflicted. Then mc and it’s all just mad. I didn’t however mention ttc to colleagues so no idea why they speculate.
What has your journey been like? Xx

I hadn’t told people I was ttc either - everyone just presumed and started making comments as I had got married that summer 😠

I’m ok thanks @VP91x always feel down when AF first starts but then dust myself off and carry on. I hadn’t heard the theory about Elsa dying, have seen frozen 2 a few times but didn’t get that lol! X

@HopeForRainbowbaby no don’t know when I ovulated. I was using cb opk and run out of sticks before I got my static peak. So was just guessing when I ovulated if I even did. How are you? Have you been tracking this cycle? I’ve decided to not track this next cycle, just want to go right back to basics! X

@Eli2020 as the other ladies have said it’s still early, hold off testing and try again next week. Fingers crossed for you. X

Just seen a school friend has announced her pregnancy on fb. I want to feel happy for her but just feel so jealous! X

@MichT4 definitely keep reading the commandments ✨ I really hope you are okay and the fresh blood stops. Try not to panic 💖 keep us updated with how you are, a lot of ladies have some degree of bleeeing in early pregnancy and go on to have completley healthy babies 🙏🏼🤞🏼 xx

@Mommybear05 wishing you luck on your ttc journey! 🤞🏼

The comments drive me insane, I also teach and when I was ttc last time I had a parent ask if I was pregnant, speculation constantly in the staff room about if I was pregnant (was told by another colleague) and just generally ignorant comments from people. One colleague informed me - we have decided we think you are pregnant because we’ve noticed you aren’t drinking tea as much (I wasn’t pregnant at the time but longing to be). It’s just so insensitive and adds to pressure and upset xxx

Hello girls I’m back... remember me?

Sorry I’ve been away for a while. This whole ttc thing is really getting me upset and with everything else going on in the world it’s just been a rough time!
@Hayleylou89 you are pregnant? I literally cried when I read this. I am so u believably over the moon for you! And I was thinking of you on June 7th. I hope that you are feeling good now and have your rainbow baby. You deserve it so much!

A big congratulations to all the other ladies who have fallen pregnant too 😍

@SmileyT I wonder if we are still cycle buddies these days? Every single month since my mc I keep spotting on cd 24/25 and then my period usually comes full cd 28/30. For the first few months I kept thinking ooohh implantation bleeding! But the period always followed and I was left disappointed. I’m cd 27 now. The spotting started a few days ago and I have been basically having a mini meltdown and crying all the time because it’s my 30th this month and I was hoping to get my bfp. Just feel like spotting at cd 24 is giving me no chance! Like I have a short luteal phase or something! I haven’t been using ovulation sticks but I’ve been tracking my body and I reckon I ovulate at cd 12. I said to hubby I want ovulation sticks this month. I don’t think the outcome will be too different because we dtd all the way through anyway but at least I’ll know if luteal phase is short. How have you been getting on?

Anyone else sick of comments from people all the time? I was at work the other day and a colleague literally said to me ‘we were talking about you the other day and saying we reckon you will come back to school in September pregnant!’ And then I have been teaching from home and uploading videos on the internet (cringe!) and a relative of my husband (children attend the school) sent a screen shot of the video to my hubby and said ‘has she got another one cooking in there yet?’ And I’m like no maybe I just put on a few pounds because I’ve been eating my feelings lately!

But I see some bfps on here in the time I have been away and this has so lifted my spirits. Sorry again for being away. I just needed to stop obsessing and it seems I was still obsessing anyway and still no luck yet. Sometimes the road just feels so long xxxxx

Just read the commandments 🤞🏼🤞🏼🌈🌈

@VP91x I’m ok, I had fresh blood this morning when I wiped 😢😢
I’ve put a pad on to see if and how it progresses.

I’m trying really hard to stay calm, especially as OH broke down a bit last night (after many beers!) about how worried he is and he can’t go through it again, so I’ve told him, but am trying to be a bit positive that it might still be ok.

I can’t believe it though. Just shitty.

How are you?

@Eli2020 don’t feel deflated, an IC probably wouldn’t show yet, you’ve still got time. Fingers crossed for you xx

@Northernsoul90 aww you are soo sweet ☺️ thanks a lot-have some things to return so may take myself for a walk later 🤔 OH saw a was very sad and made me cinnamon rolls 🤤

@Eli2020 I felt the same a few days ago, just really down about everything and like it was never going to happen. After trying to keep my mind busy on other things and venting on here a little I felt a lot better the next day. It’s so hard what we have all been through, it’s easy to forget we are allowed off days sometimes. Allow yourself to feel sad when you do I think that getting over a mc can take a lot longer than we allow ourselves and may never fully happen. Maybe go out for a walk (if the weather allows), watch a movie or do something to try and occupy your mind for a while? I hope you feel a bit better about things soon ❤️ Just know you aren’t alone in your feelings and everyone is here to listen xx

@dipsy77 @girlmum83 congrats to you both!
Couldn't believe it reading your story, so happy for you x

Thank you for the nice words @Northernsoul90 and @VP91x
I'm just so sad and don't understand why we all have to go through this pain 🙁

@SmileyT nothing major symptoms wise, my boobs started to hurt more yesterday (but this could be af). Acquired a pimple yesterday 😅 and been having nightmares for the past 3 nights but don't think this qualifies as "having vivid dreams" 🤪 clutching at straws basically 🙄 and what about you, how are you feeling? X

@Dipsy77 I'm in agreement about her not being dead 🙌🏾 normally in kids films they make it a bit clearer and share the emotions if somebody dies 🤔

@VP91x im watching petes dragon this morning, I've put some washing on and OH is doing me a chicken roast 👌🏾 I'll more than likely have a nap at some point aswell 😂 I hope you make it into FW for when my period starts, we may actually get closer in our cycles and get our well deserved BFPs together x

@Eli2020 ahh you are definitely not out, are the cheapies you used sensitive ones, think 9dpo is the average day for hcg to start to be produced so could definitely be too early. What symptoms are you having now? x

@elliew818 hope you are feeling better this morning and I'm not sure anyone has the same view on what happened in frozen 2 so no spoilers possible 😂

@Dipsy77 congratulations! All positive signs you’ve been experiencing, I think you should get a strong line tomorrow ! 💖

@Eli2020 sorry that you’re feeling down today 😣 8dpo is very early to show up on a test though so definitely don’t lose hope for this cycle yet. Test again in a few days maybe with a more sensitive test 🤞🏼 Xx