TTC after MC - July 2020 (Part 5)

Morning ladies. I've been quiet since I foolishly tested at 10dpo in the afternoon and got a bfn. Thank you for all those that reassured me it was not an accurate time to test. I didn't reply but I read your responses and really really appreciated them ❤️
I woke up at 11dpo (yesterday) and had an overwhelming urge to test and got my second bfn this cycle and crumbled. I know @VP91x put me down as testing today but I can't try again this month. Not unless (by some miracle) af is ridiculously late. I'm just waiting for her to arrive now and i do feel like she will soon - signature back, tummy, leg cramps, spotty skin... etc etc.
I mc 28th Feb and feel like I've been ttc forever now but am really trying to take comfort in the fact that I actually think I've only had two viable cycles post mc where I've had positive OPK's. I'm almost certain I didn't ovulate the first two cycles after my mc. And, in the grand scheme of things 'two months of trying' isn't long. It took us 4 months pre mc. I understand it may take longer for us also as there is a substantial age gap between my OH and myself (I was quite surprised it only took 4 months initially!)
Anyway, I just wanted to fill you all in on where I am at as you have been so supportive and I have felt guilty for not getting back to some of your messages but I just needed to distance myself from the thread for a couple of days and reset myself. I'm still quite teary today but trying to pick myself up.

@SmileyT things are looking really positive for you this cycle. I'm very hopeful for you 🤞🏼

@MichT4 I really hope your bleeding has not continued and you get some reassurance soon.

I haven't totally caught up on the thread so I hope everyone is well and feeling positive. Xx

@mrsssk thanks hun yeah I'm normally really regular. Just the opks haven't changed at all these last 7 days didnt get darker at all at any point . Yeah I'm covered and have DTD plenty over the last like 10 days and probs will continue every other day or few days until AF comes . Just rubbish not seeing a peak just feels like a waster cycle if I didnt ovulate xxxx

@MichT4 oh no, I remember feeling like this and googling everything under the sun - all it did was increase my worry. I hope it stays away and doesn't progress. I agree - it's the not knowing that doesn't help but it's hopefully not anything to worry about.

I am ok thank you for asking. I think I'm getting bad anxiety from my lack of AF though. I'm starting to feel like everyone else's bodies are going back to "normal" with the exception of mine. It probably just needs some time.
@fafi this week is 6 weeks since the start of my MC bleeding so I expected AF anytime over the last 2 weeks. But I think I ovulated late so I'm giving it till end of next week.
I'll test in a week and if it's a BFN (which I am expecting as no real symptoms) I'm going to the Gp

@chloedancer897 I think I'll be just over 4 weeks now. No pain at all at the moment, so that is positive I suppose. Just the last one started brown, so it's a painful reminder.
I'm probably being really stupid, but I can't work out why old blood would get through a closed cervix 🤔🤔

@mrsssk so it pretty much stopped yesterday, then was back when I went to bed. Woke up this morning and it was still there, only on wiping - not on the liner. It seems to have lessened again now, but after yesterday I don't know what to expect next.
I am working yes, and if I can switch off this I'll be pretty busy. At the moment I'm busy trying and failing not to google fluctuating symptoms. Urgh

Honestly, I will be sad if it isn't to be, but I'll be OK. Think I'd rather know now. Then we can just pretend it's a late AF and get on with it.

How are you today?

@MichT4 how many weeks are you? Brown staining is old blood so you're not actively bleeding which is reassuring. do you have any cramping or pain?x

@mrsssk I agree, testing early just stretches out the anxiety but also, if I keep doing it it'll end up costing my future children's pocket money haha! I'm glad that there are a few of us TTC straight after MC, I was a bit worried I was doing the wrong thing but I am so impatient and I'm pretty sure I ovulated too.

When is AF due?

@MichT4 Hoping the brown spotting hasn't increased? I'm sure you are really anxious but please try and relax / distract yourself? Are you working today? That might keep you occupied

@HopeForRainbowbaby @fafi the TWW will be over before you know it, fingers crossed. @fafi I thought I was the only person keen on waiting till AF due date passes to test, not sure I could deal with the anxiety of testing earlier.
I'm also on my first cycle post MC, it's proving to be a long one but I think I ovulated and am now hopefully 8DPO - I'm planning to test in a week, do you think I should give it a bit longer?

@Renna if you have been DTD during FW and your cheapies are going lighter, then it may be worth stopping testing? If you are covered anyway and I think I remember you saying your cycles are fairly regular anyway?

Thank you @fafi
It is reassuring at the moment, but then the fact it hasn't stopped entirely plays on my mind. With my first MC, I'm sure it started like this - had it for about a week. It was every day and heavier I think, because I called 111, but then maybe if this was my first then I'd call for this too. Hard to remember now, even though it wasn't too long ago. xxx
Let's hope it is just spotting 🤞🤞. Wish my boobs hurt as much as they did yesterday

@Lollol86 @VP91x @Northernsoul90 thank you all .
I'm prepared for anything, boobs aren't so sore today which I know can be normal, but I'm ready to pop open the OPKs in a few weeks if this doesn't work out well. Obviously I really hope it does, I'd feel so sad if it happened again, but I can't do anything about it, so I'm trying to keep an open mind.
Let's hope this is just a cruel trick and the bean is just burying waaaaay in so that there's no chance it'll dislodge 🤞🤞🤞

Can you ask at the hospital to be scanned? Are you going to the womens health unit or just the blood test dept? If you can, I'd ask while you're there. Say you're concerned and you want to be checked over.

Thanks @VP91x

Aww @MichT4 I've been thinking about you, could it be reassuring that your still just spotting? When my spotting became a loss it developed pretty quick into AF but I know we're all different. But dark brown / pink spotting is so normal, especially without pain so I am feeling positive for you!xxx

@HopeForRainbowbaby I'm good thanks, how are you? I think my AF due date is a bit sooner than you - 17 / 18 July but this is my first cycle following MC at 6 weeks so I guess anything could happen! I might wait to test on the 20th / if and when I think I might have missed a period. I have tested really early last two times (CP then MC) so trying to be more relaxed (is that even possible?).

How about you?x

Morning ladies, hope everyone is well!

@MichT4 thinking of you. Hopefully that will be it now and you won’t get anymore 🤞🏼. I agree with @VP91x try and keep distracted today xx

I’m at a bit of a standstill with things atm, back at the hospital tomorrow for blood test. I still got a faint positive on a test yesterday which is frustrating and have stopped doing opks they went dark and have then faded out but that could have just been hcg getting weaker. I’m a bit confused as to where I am really - I’m secretly hoping they will do an internal scan again (never thought I’d say that) because they might tell me if I’ve ovulated

Do you recommend doing cheapies as well as cb then? I’ve passed ovulation this month but thinking for next month

@MichT4 I really hope everything is ok xx

@HopeForRainbowbaby being occupied is key!
I’m ok thanks. I’m sure you’ve seen but am spotting after my bfp on Friday, so am very anxious. Feel a bit sad now, seems so unfair, but I’ll pick myself up and be positive, and whatever the outcome I’ll deal with it I’m sure.
So how long do you think you’ll wait to test? xx

@MichT4 thank you;) I will try not to think about it and keep myself occupied 👍 how are you?
@fafi hallo cycle body ! How is it going ? What is ur plan on testing ?

Morning xx
CD19 .. 5th day of flashing smiley and had 3 days of blank circle before that.
Done cheapies CD12 to CD19 today all 'low' theyve had lines but very faint are classed as low/negative.
.... so been testing a week now. I probably should've started testing before CD12 I usually start testing CD8 but almost wasnt going to do opks this month ... when do I give up testing 🤷‍♀️ the flashing smiley the only thing making me keep testing otherwise probs give up by now .. xx

@VP91x I called them and it was as expected really. She said as it’s not heavy or painful, they can’t assess me yet, so just keep an eye on it and call back if it gets any worse xx

@HopeForRainbowbaby I think I am 1DPO too! 🤞🤞

@HopeForRainbowbaby yay!! Hope it’s a quick TWW with a lovely result at the end! xx

Ladies, I'm officially 1DPO. Wohooo ok now I'm convincing myself to keep away from testing for longer than last month ... it will be hard...;)

@VP91x I hope so. Am kind of ready for any eventuality. Just makes me think I should have tested later as then I probably wouldn’t have done one yet. Then I’d be none the wiser.
I got the EPU number out again but am just going to wait it out. Hope it happens quickly if it’s going to so we can jump back in xx