Preconception planning - anyone want to join?

I was planning at the beginning of the year. I was losing weight and was ready to ttc in July after my holiday or August if I waited for my period. Then covid happened so I struggled to lose the last few pounds and I'm now hoping to ttc next month. I'm taking folic acid. My diet isn't as good as it was a few months ago so I do need to start eating more fruit and get some vitamin d. I feel less prepared now even though I've had more time to think about it. Maybe I should start eating more fruit now? And greens for iron? So impatient with the waiting to start but my holiday was moved to next month so I want to enjoy it without worrying about no alcohol etc. If anyone has any tips or advice on eating well (I'm not too bad honestly just hungry a lot and walking to work makes it worse) im grateful. We're keeping it to ourselves atm so I can't ask for advice from anyone 😂

@Lollipop87 it's when they get big and can run away giggling when you just trying to put a bloody t shirt on them!

@Bells3032 I never really did holidays before but we took DD to Bali at 9/10months and ok it was slightly hellish (don't book a holiday when they're teething and try not to change time zone too much, especially during a sleep regression!!!) but the actual travel part wasn't bad at all and it would have been easier if it wasn't a big group/family trip. You can kinda drag babies all over, I just had her strapped to me and off we went (breastfeeding made it easier)

@Bells3032 completely understand where you are coming from. The giving up holidays is a big one for me! We had 2 trips booked this year - our last hurrah before TTC - both cancelled! I’m hoping things will allow us to at least do a baby moon or something, but it’s definitely not quite the same!

@Lollipop87 yes my sister has two kids who are 6 and 7. I am a very hands on aunt and have had them for weekends, taken them out and probably changed more nappies than my bil. Oddly it's not the care of kids that makes me anxious. I know realistically I can do it. I'm a terrible sleeper anyway so used to a bit of sleep deprivation. It's more the fact I am totally spoilt... I love to go out for random evenings and away on holidays and just enjoy being lazy and sleeping in plus (I don't mean to brag) but financially I've always been very comfortable with lots of disposable income and very little to worry about. I'm more concerned about my lack of freedom and just being bored out my mind alone with kids. It's why I was so resistant to being quick to settle down and start ttc until lockdown made me realise its not so terrible being at home and I will survive. I am now desperately looking forward to maternity leave. Haha. Plus between my sister and my dhs family who I know will never leave us alone once a baby is here and the liklihood my dh will be wfh at least a couple of says a week in future it's calmed me down that I won't be left home alone starring at a crying baby.

@sunflowersaremyfav93 that’s really interesting about the full fat dairy, I switched to full fat yoghurt from fat free as I read something similar but I don’t like whole milk in my tea so I’m still having semi-skimmed. I eat a lot more yoghurt than I drink milk in tea so hoping that’ll have the biggest impact.

@ThreeTree ooh thanks for the book recommendation, I’ve added it to my list in a note on my phone. I love facts and data so I’m sure I’ll find it really interesting.

@queenatom fingers crossed the next few days pass quickly and that you get your BFP!

@CookieMonster3001 and @Bells3032 I used to be the same but seeing my sister have her baby last year and be such a good mum has made me a lot more relaxed about it. She’s 3 and a half years younger and has always been more irresponsible, but she’s taken to motherhood so well and is an amazing mum! I think your maternal instincts kick in and you just follow those most of the time. I’m a bit nervous about the newborn stage but I feel like once they’re a few months old it gets a bit easier (well it’s still hard work but at least it’s not as relentless!) Plus I’ve had lots of practice changing my niece’s nappies, feeding, bathing her and putting her to bed so I feel ok about those things. Something I still haven’t got the knack of is dressing / undressing babies when they wriggle! Have you had any sisters / close friends have babies?

@CookieMonster3001 yes exactly the same. I am veering every minute from "I want to get on with it and be pregnant" to "omg omg how am i gonna do this????"

@KittyT30 ahh that's a good idea with the black glass! might have to invest in some of them haha

@sunflowersaremyfav93 'the twat' LOL autocorrect really loves to give us a laugh sometimes! Defo excited about when everyone is preg! I feel like we have formed our own little family here!

@Bells3032 glad to hear the blood tests went well!

@queenatom try to give it a few more days!!

I had a bit of a melt down moment last night. As excited as I am to start TTC, I am absolutely petrified!!! Any one else or just me? I'll be a first time mom and I have not got a single clue what I am going to do and its freaking me out a little hah!

@queenatom I tested at 11 days DPO, and it wasnt positive with the crappy amazon strips but on the clear blue digital it was. so try to hold out. Apparently implantation happens around 8dpo and 11 dpo, so very early to do test. I totally expected negative but when positive came I was in shock. Maybe I implanted closer to day 8 than 11. Done 2 more tests after that just to make sure.

Yes I need to get on to baby books. I haven't thought about whole birth thing because not in safe zone yet. My sister loved the pod cast 'Australian birth stories'.

And all the talk about the twins is funny. I'm a twin and my sister in law always jokes I will have twins. 4 weeks from now I will know. More that happy with one, 2 would be hard work!!

@queenatom it was so so interesting - I think I’ll definitely come back to it when doing my birth plan.

@ThreeTree - I love that book! Read it several years ago before TTC was ever on my mind and found it so interesting, I’ve recommended it to everyone I know who’s been pregnant since. It makes total sense, a lot of guidelines seem very arbitrary and it’s good to understand exactly what the risks are so you can make a proper judgement call.

@KittyT30 Glad the dinner was a success and you were able to keep your secret!

6DPO and I’m itching to test, even though I know it’s still too early to tell. Trying to keep myself busy and my mind distracted, but it’s a challenge!

So just finished Expecting Better by Emily Oster. It covers lots of decision points from conception through to labour, and if you are a fact/data driven person like me I’d really recommend it! She’s an economist, so it’s essentially analysis of various research and data so that you can make your own decision.

@sunflowersaremyfav93 “once you’ve done the twat” has just had me laughing out loud, my husband thinks I’ve gone mad! 😂😂

@KittyT30 glad dinner went well, ooh that’s a good idea I have a black novelty wine glass that says 29 forever that I got for my 30th so I could always use that and if they think it’s weird I could say I’m feeling old and want to pretend I’m 29 again!

*had to top up hers

@sunflowersaremyfav93 so u can ring your GP when u find out, but all he does is refer u on. So like my sister I'm just gona do a self referral letter which u can do online. Then u see mid wife at 8 weeks and she normally does bloods.

Dinner was a success, poured myself a small glass of wine(in the black wine glass)in front of the mother in law. Just pretended I was sipping from it all night 🤣. At one stage I had to hers and mine up, sure I hadn't even drank any🤣. Thanks for the tips ladies. Also someone I know poured the non alcoholic drink into a wine bottle when over drinking in her friends house, another good trick.

I'm only 4 weeks, just found out 2 days ago. So very early on to be telling anyone. It's actually nice having it a secret between u and your partner.

@sunflowersaremyfav93 haha I think twat also works. I'd also like to know the answer to this? I think I'd probably wait a few weeks just to be sure it's actually real haha

Had doctors appointment today. Dh blood tests look really good and she's super happy where all his hormones are. Next step is to have a sperm analysis but in 2 to 3 weeks once he's been on the new drugs for four months. So that's the next hurdle and I will have to wait. Still having coil removed on Sept 1st cos whatever the next step is I want to give my hormones a few months to get back to normal after 15 years on BC

Hi girls, luckily I have black wine glasses, you cant see through them or how much is in the glass. So il pour them a glass and pour a little into mine and pretend I'm sipping it😂. My husband said just dont offer them a drink, but il seem rude then😂. I feel fine but have havent went to the gym since I have found out and eating everything because I can 😅. Back to work on monday and tutoring in the evening every day so I'd say by week 6-9 the tiredness will kick in. Need to fill out self referral form online for mid wife, apparently most NHS scans are not until 14 weeks now. I'm going for 8 week early scan private and also might book 12 week private and then sure our news. Hopefully all goes ok.

My sister says pure orange juice is the cure for morning sickness

Thank you all for the kind welcome!

I agree I panic about hiding drinking too. I’ve definitely got a friend I’ll likely tell early on cause she will just know immediately! I’m hoping that i avoid any pregnancy at Christmas all together ideally!!!

@mackjm20 border biscuits are just a brand, my OH gets them for work for meeting rooms, of course as noone is there, he brought a whole bunch home!! also delaying sounds like a good plan if it means you wont be stressing as much! 92 days will fly by!! I cant believe its nearly September, I am sure @sunflowersaremyfav93 started this group in May or June?! Also I think your chances are quite low so you should be fine!

@threetree welcome to the growing group of crazy pre planners!!

@sunflowersaremyfav93 I do sometimes worry about drinking as well and then I remember that my older sister fell pregnant first try first baby and we had gone to 3 concerts back to back and were drunk for most of the week before she actually realised she was pregnant (obvs preg the whole time) and her daughter is honestly the most perfect little girl and so intelligent for her age! Sometimes I think its so easy to stress ourselves out and stress definitely does not help TTC.

@kittyT30 how about taking a glass and take the smallest sip ever and then when you wonder around dump it in the sink?? I suppose I need to know these tricks too because if I am lucky enough to fall pregnant, then I am gonna be pregs for Christmas and we've agreed to hosting the annual Christmas party this year with OH friends, who all drink like crazy!!

@sunflowersaremyfav93 yes what Bells said is right, it always really confuses me but this explains it very well and explains the theory that twins skip a generation (because men don’t ovulate so it won’t affect their own children being twins or not, but could be passed on to their daughter):

If you've heard that twins skip a generation, this myth is actually based on some truth. Here's how: If a man inherits the hyperovulation gene from his mother, he may pass this gene on to his daughter. His daughter, in turn, is then more likely to release more than one egg when she ovulates and therefore could conceive fraternal twins. So the twins have, in essence, skipped a generation. (From www.whattoexpect.com/pregnancy/twins-and-multiples/do-twins-really-run-in-families/)

And in answer to your question about fruit smoothies, yes but it’s due to sugars not fat - when fruit is blended the sugars in it become what’s called free sugars because the natural sugars are released from within the cell walls of the fruit. So they become more like added sugar rather than the natural sugar you get in whole fruit. I think they maybe have less fibre when blended too. I work for a well-known baby food company and remember our nutritionist explaining all this to me!

p.s. it’s a great part of my job that I get to look at cute pics of babies all the time, but also makes me soooo broody and I don’t know how I’d cope if I struggled to conceive!