Preconception planning - anyone want to join?

@CookieMonster3001 Good news on the lump - glad it was nothing serious!

@sunflowersaremyfav93 Good luck with your call tomorrow!

AF is here so Cycle 1 is officially done and dusted. Another short one for me - only 22 days with a 9 day luteal phase. Trying not to get too frustrated as know it’s early days after coming off contraception and this is exactly why we weren’t going to start trying properly until October. Consoling myself with wine and chocolate like a full blown stereotype.

My doctor told me start taking it 6 months before trying to conceive Haha I bet if we asked them all we would get multiple different answers. You need the 400mg stuff I was taking a multivitamin with it in but it was only 200mg, I found another female health vitamin with enough in :)

@CookieMonster3001 I forgot to say I’m glad your lump was nothing serious! 😊 That 70 days will fly by, I haven’t been doing a countdown but just counted on my calendar and it’s only like 42 days until my BD’ing starts!! Which feels like nothing, so excited but also now it’s getting closer it feels very real and I’m a bit nervous!

@sunflowersaremyfav93 the 16 sodding grapes made me laugh 😂 Has AF arrived yet? I’ve had tender boobs and more CM than usual this week so would be thinking I was pregnant if we hadn’t been using condoms! How did your call with the gynaecologist go?

@Clouless yes I don’t think you have to wait until you’ve stopped contraception to take folic acid, in fact Tommy’s website says to take it 2 months before stopping contraception and they don’t differentiate between hormonal contraception / condoms. You can pick it up cheaply either online or your local supermarket, mine was only about £1.50 from Tesco.

Not taking any vitamins yet although I've just found sound Vitamin D at the back of a cupboard! When I spoke to a nurse, she recommended Pregnacare after I have my implant out but I've read on here that I could start taking my folic acid before that? Might go and pick some up this week!
Hope everyone's ok 😊

@sunflowersaremyfav93 nope she said its quite common. I did almost burst into tears when she said it was fine, but then felt a little silly that it was something normal. She made me feel better though by telling me it was the right thing to do!

2 morning after pills and a condom? that baby was determined!!! Just goes to show we put so much pressure on ourselves, when as long as we are sensible, I am sure we will be fine! Eating a bag of tangy toms as I type this out! haha

Hope your telephone call goes well tomorrow!! Keeping my fingers crossed for you.

Hi girls, experiencing my first symptoms of pregnancy at (4 weeks and 2 days) pregnant. My smell has definitely increased and I have this weird pulse thing going on in my belly at night. Very annoying when trying to sleep.

Started listening to the podcast birth stories with clemmie hopper. Highly recommend.

Hi @Clouless and welcome! That is one of the massive benefits I find from here, having people to talk to about this because the men just think we’re all crazy 😂

@TheNewMrsW hope you’ve been enjoying reading through the messages, there must be pages and pages now! Enjoy the books, I’ve read “the bible” but not the other one so think I might order it soon

Been reading my way through the thread and now copies of “The Bible” and Expecting Better are winging their way to me from Amazon

Hello!

Bit late but please can I join? Otherwise I think I might drive my OH mad!

We were always planning to start ttc late this year/ early next year based around various family holidays and weddings, which have all had to be postponed. Now I am having my implant removed in a fortnight and we are just going to see what happens! Eek! However, the holidays/ weddings are still going ahead next year so I feel like we will be playing a game of Russian roulette- do we want a baby on that trip?/ do I want to be pregnant on that trip? /will I be stressed if I'm not pregnant on that trip?! Arghh!

Haha- my head feels like it might explode at times so it is nice to hear that I am not alone!
At the moment I am thinking I should start the painful process of weening myself off tea...

Thanks for all the advice. I've gone back to eating more fruit and veg, I think I need to stop obsessing over what I'm eating. And will have to limit the tea when we start ttc although I need to practice my convincing lie as when I visit family they drink way too much tea.
I'm not going to get any books just yet as I'm a worrier and I think I need to chill about everything. I'll be back in here when I have more news.

@bells3031 I know what you mean, I am trying really hard to convince OH that we should go out and enjoy ourselves now as a couple because big holidays and meals out won't be the same so its scaring knowing that will all change! But I suppose it will change in a good way. We can still do those things, itll just be different! I am really hoping me and OH can go on a little holiday before I get pregnant. I can still go when I am but we like to drink and eat! And it wont be the same, especially because he will use the excuse of having to drink for me. Not fun! I had a dream that I had opks stuck to my hands and I couldnt get them off haha

@lollipop87 I know what you mean, my older sister was the same. She was never really that into having children, but she is an amazing mother! Sometimes I think thats what puts pressure on me. What if I can't live up to her standards!! Makes me very nervous. Not enough to put me off though ahah. With the full fat dairy supposed to be good for fertility. That scares me! Ive not had full fat anything in a long time lol. I really need to get that book!! Wonder if there is an online version I can read (not on kindle - i dont have one!)

@gwenr my diet is far from amazing, but I am just trying to make some healthier choices. I firmly believe its easier to do if you do small things slowly then trying to overhaul your entire diet. My first step was to get onto decaf, and cut back on so many sugary treats

@mrsm21 how exciting welcome to the group! I think quite a few of us are tracking BBT and OPKS. I am doing both at the moment to I can figure out my cycles.

@sunflowersaremyfav93 I am so sorry you had to hear that comment, I cant imagine it felt good especially when you and your OH are looking forward to TTC, but try to remember that as long as you are happy with the decision thats all that matters! I know the feeling sometimes, I come from an Indian background and family members really dont consider how some things sound before saying it, but I think sometimes it can just be their mannerisms. Just try to brush it off. From what my sister tells me, when you are pregnant you get all sorts of unsolicited comments and advice and she has said you need to grow a thick skin to deal with it sometimes.

@thenewmrsw welcome to the group, sounds like you have a great plan in place!

On some positive news, I had my telephone consultation with the dr this morning about the lump in my nipple and got called in for an appointment. She checked me over and she has no concerns! She said its just my milk ducts, sometimes they can feel different. Then she said.... are you sure your not pregnant. I almost shouted I WISH!!! So thats one weight lifted! Just need to wait for my smear test results to come through, which I am less concerned about and then I can relax! Less than 70 days till the BDing commences! Woot woot!

Thank you for the welcome 😊

@sunflowersaremyfav93 after our experiences this year with having planned the “perfect“ wedding and not being able to have it then deciding at short notice to pull another wedding together within a few weeks, I can honestly say that a wedding is what you make it, and what makes it perfect isn’t any of the stuff you see in magazines or on tv but the people you love coming together to support and celebrate you, and if that means a little one along for the ride then go for it. DH’s nieces having an absolute blast and loving their best lives were one of the best parts of our day in the end. If there’s one thing I have learned this year it’s to roll with the punches

@sunflowersaremyfav93 I would have felt a bit put out by that comment too. We got married a few years before having DD but I can honestly see no downsides to deciding to do it before or after baby. You don't have to take the baby to wedding dress shopping (it will have 2 parents and one will definitely not be there when you're trying on dresses) and you'll get to dress a gorgeous mini flower girl or page boy too 😍.

I'm going to speak to my laser eye consultant once I know I'm not pregnant this month and just see what the recommended wait time is for after surgery. Waiting until after I've had another baby could mean waiting 2 years because I'd have to wait until I was done breastfeeding (from what I've read) but if I get it done now I don't think it should delay TTC by too long as far as I'm aware.

Hi @TheNewMrsW and welcome! That’s exciting, Jan will come round quick. I’m the same, I’m 33 so conscious of trying to do as much as we can to help boost our chances. On the supplements I think 3 months is about right, definitely for folic acid as it needs time to build up in your body. I started taking it on 1st July and we’re starting TTC in October. I also take a calcium and vitamin D supplement. I have some pregnacare that my sister had leftover but only about 3 months worth so I’m going to wait until I hopefully get my BFP and then start taking that.

Hi everyone, can I join please?! I’m quite excited as we have been talking for some time about ttc our first “next year” but when we were out for dinner on Friday DH said that we can start trying in January, which feels like much more of a definite than a vague plan for “next year” . I’m really pleased as I’ve felt for ages that we need to be trying before my next birthday in the spring as I will turn 36. It’s taken me a while to make DH realise that it might not happen just like that on the first go (in fact most likely definitely won’t!)

This year has been a bit of a rollercoaster for us as we should have been married in the spring, big wedding which we spent the best part of 2 years planning, then Covid happened and we were in lockdown on our wedding date. After a lot of toing and froing over what to do we ended up having a small wedding earlier this month, it was perfect in the end, and I’m so glad I no longer have to think about it and we can move on with our future plans.

I had my implant removed almost two years ago as I was just fed up of pumping hormones into my body and felt like I had just no idea what my cycles were like or my body would do naturally as I had more or less continuously been on some form of HBC since I was 18. I read TCOYF back then to get my self up to speed on tracking cycles as I really had no clue (why do they not teach us this in school?!) I would highly recommend it for those that are interested as it was a real eye opener for me! I have been loosely tracking my cycle since then on the basis of EWCM and can roughly predict my AF from that, but I want to dig it out again and start properly charting over the next few months including BBT and OPKs so that by the time we are TTC I have a more accurate picture. I am a little conscious of being mid-30s and not started yet so whilst I don’t want to put too much pressure on I also feel like I want to stack the odds in our favour as much as I can, anyone else feel that way?

My/our preconception plans for the rest of this year are:-

• Clear off our credit cards and start a baby fund to cover expenses and mat leave. This will be crucial for us as I earn a lot more than DH but only get stat mat pay so I think we probably need enough saved to cover the mortgage payments whilst I am off. *Get a bit fitter and healthier, which for me definitely means less wine as I can be a bit naughty with that and it makes me want to stuff my face . I also need to exercise more, DH is mad keen on exercise so we are trying to do things together *Prepare our house to go on the market in the NY, we have two bedrooms in our flat so we could start off a family here but ideally would rather be moved before a baba arrives *Start properly tracking my cycle *Start taking conception supplements, I’ll probably start doing this 3 months out so around October? Anyone taking them further out than that?

Excited to join you all ladies and hope those of you that are TTC already get your BFPs soon!!!

@sunflowersaremyfav93 I don't think anyone else has the right to tell you what to do with your relationship and marriage. There are lots of benefits to being married first but it's a personal choice. but does it matter how that choice happens. Don't let anyone elses opinions away you if you are happy.

@MrsM21 I had laser 9 years ago and it has been amazing. Though my eyesight is detoriating a little now due to constant screen time. I wouldn't reccommend it right before pregnancy though as pregnancy can change your eyes apparently and it may make the surgery a bit redundant. Why not get it after having kids?

Nothing new to report from me. I did dream last night that I discovered I was 12 weeks pregnant and was worried about having drunk too much (in real life I'm pretty teetotal) and apparently going on roller coasters (which in real life I hate) and was trying not to let it slip to friends before telling my family. First dream about pregnancy

@MrsM21 welcome! I haven’t done any ovulation kits or BBT tracking, I just track CM, but I know a few ladies on here do so I’m sure they’ll have some good advice for you.

@sunflowersaremyfav93 sorry you had a tricky conversation with your mum, all that really matters though is how you feel about it and doing what’s right for you. It might not be what she would do but you know what you want so she’ll just have to respect that. Hope you manage to explain this to her xx

Ohhh can I join!
We were planning on ttc our first after Christmas but because of some work changes etc we’ve decided to start trying on my next cycle (mid September time)

I came off the pill at the beginning of this year to give it chance to get out my system and started taking folic acid and vitamin d not long after

I’m so excited to start trying but now the time has come around I’m a bit nervous!

I track my cycles every month but has anyone thought about ovulation tracking? I was considering opks or tracking my bbt? One part of me doesn’t want too much pressure straight away so I thought maybe just see how things go for the first few months, but then the other side of me wants to get pregnant as quickly as I can so if it helps I’ll do it! Any advice or experience welcome!

Hi @GwenR! Full fat dairy is meant to be good for fertility e.g. switching your milk and yoghurt to full fat versions. Other than that lots of fruit and veg, cutting down on caffeine / alcohol and salmon, olive oil, spinach, kale, quinoa and avocados are all meant to be good. Some of us have read “The Impatient Woman’s Guide to Getting Pregnant” and there’s a whole section in there about what to eat.

@Pebbleinthesand I’ve always considered getting laser eye surgery but haven’t taken the plunge yet. You’ll have to let me know how it goes! Slightly annoying about having to postpone TTC but at least it’s not for too much longer.

We have just arranged to go and stay with my SIL in October which would be the weekend before my period is due in our first cycle TTC. So I’ll be able to take a first response test on the Friday as my period would be due on the Monday and it’s meant to be pretty accurate if it’s less than 5 days before your period is due. If I am lucky enough to fall first cycle I would be in the same situation as @KittyT30 as she and I love our wine and she would know something was up! Maybe we would just tell her, DH and I haven’t had the conversation yet about who we’d tell before the first scan.

@KittyT30 congratulations! That's amazing that it's happened so quickly.

I seem to have missed loads in the couple of days that I've not been on. We've decided to postpone TTC (unless I'm somehow miraculously pregnant from our half a month of NTNP) because I'm having laser eye surgery at the end of September and after reading up on it, I've found out that pregnancy can effect your vision so I wouldn't be able to have it done if I were pregnant (as far as I'm aware). It's a bit disappointing as I hadn't considered it before booking my surgery but it'll be worth it, not having to worry about glasses or contact lenses anymore.

My random 1 day period after having my coil removed was on the 1st of August so if I've not had a period by the 1st September I might have to take a test. My coil will have been out a month and a half by then so hopefully that's long enough for my body to start getting back to normal.