Page 33 | Preconception planning - anyone want to join?

sunflowersaremyfav93 · 2020-07-02T14:21:53+00:00

Hello! I've been reading loads on the importance of pre-conception nutrition and preparing your body. Some say 3 months before and I've seen some that say 6 months before. I find myself trawling through threads on Mumsnet but wondered if there were any ladies planning to start TTC in the next few months and wanted a forum to chat about ways to prepare / excitement of it all etc. I often find myself going on to my bf and mum and they're like ok ok! 😂

Original poster

sunflowersaremyfav93 · 07/07/2020 15:07

@queenatom yeah that is really pricey 😂 I just bought some from Sainsburys when I did the food shop, £11.70 for 7 tests. I just want to see how accurate my app is so when we do start I feel like I can ‘relax’ and just DTD as much as poss? I know what you mean about going back at 6 months and sharing the leave. My partner would be brilliant but I’d def want to do the full year, I always hear people say you’ll never have enough money for a baby, it just works when it happens.

@wrensandrobins 😂😂 that’s so funny! At least he knows now and so good you’ve done a spreadsheet just takes the pressure off knowing it’s doable.

@kittyt30 how annoying that you might come on when you’re going away! Could even be ovulation pain tho? I have terrible cramps when I’m ovulating and it feels like I’m going to come on.

@butterfly5291 aw that’s lovely, reassuring.

With the finances it’s funny because although lockdown hasn’t been nice I’ve managed to save so much more than I would normally do by not paying the commute to London, going out as much and the odd coffee or lunch here and there. I was due to get promoted in April as well which was delayed due to Covid so hopefully they reinstate that soon.

Hi @5rosebud - I agree with butterfly, def start the folic and vitamin d ASAP but healthy diet is also important. Let us know how you get on! ❤️

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wrensandrobins · 07/07/2020 14:52

@OneStepOneStumble that's good news it sounds like it's put your mind at rest!

butterfly5291 · 07/07/2020 14:45

@OneStepOneStumble
OH text me just as I'd finished posting saying the most important thing to us is the baby so we will work everything around that if it happens.
I think I'll feel better this way. If I don't get pregnant then still got positives from it, whereas if we didn't even try it would be on my mind...what if that was our chance.

I'm big on keeping on top of finances and budgeting spreadsheets. I'm the higher earner too, (double OH) so reduction in my income will be massive! SMP is not a lot either!

KittyT30 · 07/07/2020 14:25

I completely understand the mat/pat maternity income issues. My husband is in a job at the min but doing a Masters and looking to change job soon, so that may mean no pat leave for him. I'm not permanent in my job, but hope to time it correctly so I get pregnant, work all year to save and get statuory pay. That's the plan but we will see.

Said before I came off the pill on 21st June, had a extremely light withdrawal bleed on 25th (a tea spoon). Still no period yet, but getting a little pain in one side yesterday and feel like I need toilet all day today. Might be on it's way. I hope not because my husband has booked us away for our first wedding anniversary this weekend for one night in a hotel. But sure if it happens, it happens.

wrensandrobins · 07/07/2020 14:10

I am only entitled to statutory maternity pay which is scarily low, me and my other half have budgeted it out in a spreadsheet and it is very tight but doable!

I am saving as much as I can... and me and my partner are also saving into a joint savings account.

I did have to laugh the other day- me and Martin have a joint account which we equally pay a set amount in each month for bills etc. He asked me if I was saving to 'make up the shortfall of what I couldn't put in whilst I was on maternity'

Short conversation later he now understands that he will have to contribute more while I am on leave 🤣

queenatom · 07/07/2020 14:00

@sunflowersaremyfav93 The ClearBlue ones are very easy to use, these ones apparently track estrogen levels as well at LH so a bit of extra information which is nice. I got this box as leftovers from a friend of mine who got her BFP earlier in the year, looks like they're £30 for 20 on Amazon though so don't think I'll be using these exclusively going forward or I'll be broke!

I'm a little bit worried about the mat leave situation, I am not naturally frugal and I also earn 3x what my husband does so any drop in my salary will be felt more. My package is pretty good, 3 months full, 3 months half and then statutory for the balance (also at a law firm, sunflower) and my husband is well up for taking some shared parental leave, but I would be a little sad to go back at six months. Hopefully with savings we can stretch a little further.

My temp was up a little bit this morning, but not masses (.2 of a degree or so), so don't know if I actually ovulated or not. I also had a crap night's sleep which I've heard can throw things off? I should probably just chill out and go with the flow, but that's never really been my style!

OneStepOneStumble · 07/07/2020 13:48

Sorry guys, been a few days. Having some hiccups with our house and it's making me feel a bit down at maybe having to delay TTC even more.

@sunflowersaremyfav93 that's so true - you spend your whole life being warned to use protection etc. as you absolutely will get pregnant without and then when you actually want to it takes forever

@butterfly5291 so sorry you're having a tough time with making that decision. I guess the thing to weigh up for you and your DH is what your priority is at the moment? Could you live with having a 'babymoon' (a smaller holiday before the baby is born) rather than a honeymoon? In things I've read people seem to say start TTC earlier rather than putting it off as it's likely to take longer than you expect. Although we've been a bit reticent due to coronavirus too, as it makes all decisions feel a bit less secure so I'm totally with you on that one.

butterfly5291 · 07/07/2020 13:24

@5rosebud welcome ☺️
You should definitely be taking folic acid and vitamin D supplements. Have you been on hormonal contraception? Xx

5rosebud · 07/07/2020 13:09

*unsuccessful

5rosebud · 07/07/2020 13:08

Hi, jumping on this thread Looking to start trying at end of the month. Was going to wait until December but thinking about maternity leave it would be nice to have it start in the spring / early summer haha. Haven’t really thought much about preparing my body (probably naive!) but will reconsider if we’re successful after the first few months. Exciting times

Original poster

sunflowersaremyfav93 · 07/07/2020 13:00

@bells3032 Ooh I didn’t even think to find out what my bf’s firm offer, I thought the two week paid was a given? Yeah the wfh will be so much better won’t it!! I work in a law firm in London and I can’t imagine I’d ever go back to being in the office 5 days a week now which also saves a lot on travel! Yeah I agree, I think prepping for the financial side of it is just as important. I want to be able to not worry about that side of things.

@jameszebra you’re so right it is ok to feel sad and I think it’s important we do. I’m seeing a friend tomorrow, she’s been TTC for a year now and is having investigations so will try lift her spirits. Funny how we spend so long trying to not get preg and then when we want to it’s not as easy. Apparently not thinking about it and worrying about it is key as well.... I’m working on that part. 😂 the house purchase will keep you me mind occupied tho!

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butterfly5291 · 07/07/2020 12:57

I am feeling all over the place today. I just wish coronvirus would do one...it's making it so difficult to make decisions!!

IF and it is a big IF I got pregnant this month then I would be almost 6 months at the wedding....
I've got a million questions
Is my dress is unlikely to fit, will I feel ok enough to enjoy the day?
OH has just said he's not sure about trying this month because we might not get to have a honeymoon if I do get pregnant before the wedding.
I
But then the reason we decided to get the coil out now was because what if they wedding can't go ahead? And I've put things off for another few months.

If one more person tells me that older women than me get pregnant all the time I'm going to punch them! I am aware that older women can get pregnant naturally of course....and I know some of you are older than me do please don't take offense by what I've said. But have been told by doctors for years that I should just start trying because of my endometriosis...so I have that weighing on my mind. Even the Dr removing the coil said just hope you get pregnant asap.

I have literally no idea what my body is going to do. I just don't know what to do for the best 😔

JamesZebra · 07/07/2020 12:38

@sunflowersaremyfav93 yes i think a positive mental attitude is so important. It's ok to feel sad- but then I need to pull myself together.

I am sort of still hoping that I will just fall pregnant whilst I am doing this prep work but if I don't then it's longer to lose weight, save money etc so there a positives on both sides. I am also in the middle of buying my house. I am doing it on my own without DP (its a council property and is in my name so they won't let him buy it with me)
So I have loads going on already. Just longing to have a little baby again.

Bells3032 · 07/07/2020 12:36

@sunflowersaremyfav93 yeah I realise that isn't the norm and I am exceptionally lucky. We were also please my husband's firm has just changed their paternity pay policy - previous was two weeks unpaid but now it's one week full and one week 90% pay so very happy with that. Also hoping he will work from home a lot more in the future (and I will to) as would really help with child care.

But i do realise this isn't the same for everyone. I think you just need to work out monthly budgets and save enough to cover them for maternity and a bit extra. Which is crazy in this world.

Original poster

sunflowersaremyfav93 · 07/07/2020 12:32

@bells3032 That's really good mat pay package isn't it? How do you feel about it? I have 3 months full pay and the rest is 40% of my pay. Yeah I'm the same, trying to get as much saved as poss now.

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Original poster

sunflowersaremyfav93 · 07/07/2020 12:09

@jameszebra Yeah I’ve really felt like rubbish, my bf is soo positive which is lovely but I just worry and fear the worst. I spoke to my mum about it and I’m def going private if the nhs wait for three miscarriages but we’ll see. I’ll def keep you all updated.

Oh I know EXACTLY how you feel. When other people announce their pregnancies, obviously we’re all happy for them but deep down it’s like..I just want it to be me 😢. It will happen for us but I know exactly what you mean! My brothers gf fell pregnant first month trying and I was over the moon to become an auntie for the first time but I cried for two days straight just kept thinking it’ll never be me. Gosh, even got a bit emotional typing that. Sending you love, like you said we should count our blessings and one day we’ll have our own baby in our arms. ❤️

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Bells3032 · 07/07/2020 12:09

I think it really depends on what mat leave pay you get. I am a civil servant. I get 6 months full pay, 3 months stat and 3 months no pay. We are looking to buy a house and get a part and part mortgage to keep costs down and I want to have some savings under my belt to pay for six months of bills before i go on mat leave. but that's easier said than done

Original poster

sunflowersaremyfav93 · 07/07/2020 12:03

Hi ladies,

Just catching up on all the messages. I’m going to start the OPKs sooner rather than later, you make a very good point @cookiemonster3001 best to understand it all now rather than spending first month of TTC to try and crack it! I also take Vit D, it’s says 25mg on the front but I have no clue what they actually mean to be honest? I also hate fish so wonder if I should be taking more?

@queenatom the clear blue ones look easy and simple are they a lot pricier? I’m going to do our food shop later and according to my app I’m ovulating on Friday so I might pick some up and see if the app is accurate?

@bells3032 Happy anniversary! Hoping your next year of marriage is full of good luck, you def deserve it!

Also ladies - another qu - me and my bf both earn decent wages, we save every month, pay our mortgage and bills just fine and have money to treat ourselves, I’m very..what’s the word.. frugal with my money. How do you guys feel about money and mat leave, we’ll be fine but I’m a born worrier and always think about these kinda things.

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JamesZebra · 07/07/2020 11:59

oh @sunflowersaremyfav93 that sounds stressful. I think with lots of appointments being telephone ones things are moving a little bit quicker at the mo so hopefully you won't have a long wait.

My work colleague announced this morning that she is pregnant and I feel gutted I am really happy for her but i feel like it is never going to happen for me. I also feel really bad that if I do get pregnant then our team will be at half capacity as we are such a small team. Just want it to be my turn. It's really hard seeing people around you getting their turn. Loads of people on my wider team have announced pregnancies over the past few weeks. Need to focus on the positives in my life.

Original poster

sunflowersaremyfav93 · 07/07/2020 11:47

@butterfly5291 Hello! I literally spent all weekend googling and worrying, I know I should stay away from Google 😩 I decided to cancel the private apt though and save the £220 and go through NHS for the time being. The doctors surgery called yesterday and said I'd been referred and it will initially be a telephone call for advice from the gynaecologist so once I know more I'll make a decision as to whether I want to go private. My healthcare would cover me if I was doing it to help with my periods rather than fertility so that's an option xx

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Original poster

sunflowersaremyfav93 · 07/07/2020 11:46

@butterfly5291 Hello! I literally spent all weekend googling and worrying, I know I should stay away from Google 😩 I decided to cancel the private apt though and save the £220 and go through NHS for the time being. The doctors surgery called yesterday and said I'd been referred and it will initially be a telephone call for advice from the gynaecologist so once I know more I'll make a decision as to whether I want to go private. My healthcare would cover me if I was doing it to help with my periods rather than fertility so that's an option xx

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CookieMonster3001 · 07/07/2020 10:22

Good Morning Ladies!!

@queenatom that looks promising! How exciting. Hoping you get your withdrawal bleed soon.

Turns out my app was slightly off and I ovulated this month 2 days later than I thought, which pushed my period back 2 days. Makes sense as to why I hadn't started yet, as I am rarely late! Will be glad to start using some OPKs so I have a more accurate picture.

Those of you taking Vitamin D supplements, what dosage are you taking? I purchased some high dose ones as I don't really eat a lot of high vit D foods (I hate fish), but now I am reading that higher doses might not be so good. The ones I got are 4000IU, but now wondering whether I should have got 1000IU?

They cost me a tenner so will still use them, but maybe have half a tablet a day rather than a full one.

butterfly5291 · 07/07/2020 10:02

@sunflowersaremyfav93
How are you doing? Did you decide to go ahead with the private consultation? Xx

queenatom · 06/07/2020 17:23

Bought some of the ClearBlue Digital OPKs last week as wanted to try and get a sense of where things were with my cycle - had the empty circle for the past five days and then got this when I tested this afternoon, seem to have skipped the flashing smiley highs and gone straight to peak!

I hope this is accurate and not just some side effect of stopping my contraception (or something more sinister) - I guess my temp chart over the next few days will provide more clues?

Preconception planning - anyone want to join?

Bells3032 · 06/07/2020 14:19

@queenatom haha. it's about the right shape as size as a urine pot