Preconception planning - anyone want to join?

I have been reading 'the impatient women's guide to getting pregnant' and she suggests calcium supplements in the months prior to getting pregnant and also fish oil, I'm starting to rattle with all the vitamins! One benefit of the calcium prior to conceiving is that it apparently reduces PMT which would be wonderful as I am absolutely all over the place one week of every month! My poor partner!

Apparently the 3 months before you conceive are really important for these things because it's those 'stores' and nutrition that will feed the tiny little developing embryo when it is first conceived and developing important bits like spinal cords and nervous systems :)

You shouldn't continue to take fish oil or calcium once you are pregnant though!

My partner said yesterday that he thinks I'm going a bit over the top with the supplements yesterday as we aren't going to try till December but I really do feel like getting myself in shape is giving me a focus, and will ultimately be good for me and any future babies! Yes most stuff says 3 months before for vitamins etc, but it can only be good for me to start now surely! It's only a month and a half earlier than the guidelines.
Also I have been dieting and losing weight and that can leave you short of nutrients!

Can you tell I feel a bit defensive 🤣

@CookieMonster3001 I quit caffein a few weeks ago and I still struggel on busy days :D It‘s hard! But I wanted to cut down a long time now and this is the perfect reason to quit. I drink lots of decaf though :D.

I feel you all with the baby envy I just saw an old friends newborn and he‘s sooo cute :)

@olderthanyouthink How much weight to you think you need to put on? I‘m slightly on the low side of the bmi messure too but never thought about it being an issue.. :D

Just weighed myself, I weigh even less than I thought was my lowest point (and I swear the scales said I'd put on weight the other week) not sure I'm actually going to be able to convince my body to start having periods at this rate.

I made a spreadsheet to work out how long I'd have to pay overlapping childcare, every month I'm not pregnant the overlap gets smaller so easier on the budget, shame about the small age gap though.

A friend got pregnant a few months ago and when she told me I was really jealous because she was doing what I can't atm (our DDs are the same age) but she unfortunately miscarried and I feel awful about it and for her, especially giving the CV protocols in hospital atm (going to scans alone).

@CookieMonster3001 same here with the periods! My sister was on the coil and after she had that removed she had what she called a “monster period” but then got pregnant on her first cycle after that. So I was fully expecting my period to be much heavier than my pill “periods” (aka withdrawal bleeds) but they’re the same if not slightly lighter / shorter! Glad it’s not just me! Oh I have also switched to decaf tea but can’t honestly tell the difference, might be more noticeable with coffee but I don’t drink it!

So nice to know how that lots of you have also looked ahead and calculated how pregnant you’d be in future months depending on which month you fall. I can’t talk to DH about that, he already thinks I’m crazy thinking about Christmas in the summer but I’m a natural forward planner!

@cookiemonster3001 my cousin just got pregnant too. I'm so jealous and Anxious

My cousin also announced shes pregnant today and as much as I am soooo happy for her. Im also super jealous!!! Also turns out my older sister will be TTC for their 2nd child soon too and there could be a high chance (touch wood) we could both be pregs together. My little sister is sooo excited but cant help but feel anxious and a little pressure now!

Evening ladies!!

@Bells3032 my bdays 31st July! Day before yours!! And not too far from yours too @Lollipop87. And yep 33 this year!

Dont know if its just me but I have found my periods are super short since coming off the pill. Like a day or 2 long.

Welcome @Emgem89 so good to see so many of us pre-planning! Makes me feel less crazy haha.

My opks arrived today but think I will wait till Aug before using them!

Was thinking of getting zinc for hubby. You think itll increase his sex drive too? I sold it to him by saying itll help him with his balding too haha. Tomorrow is his last day vaping and then he is going cold turkey. Dont think I can stop him from drinking though. We dont drink much to be fair... just weekends so figured it will be ok.

Also picked up my first batch of decaf coffee. Thatll be fun!!!

@butterfly5291 some men take Zinc but i think no cigarettes, alcohol and coffee is even more important

Does anyone's OH take any supplements? What ones do people recommend?
Turning into a costly business this TTC!

@sunflowersaremyfav93 my DH says that too about strong swimmers but annoyingly he actually knows that as he had to have a sperm count test after a testicular scare to make sure nothing was affected, and they told him he has a high sperm count! So I’m never sure whether I should be less anxious because at least I know his swimmers are good, or whether to be more anxious as if we have problems I’ll know it’s me! (Silly to worry about that but I’m such an over-thinker!)

@CookieMonster3001 nice to meet you too! So our birthdays must be quite close, I’m 33 on 26th July and from how far away you said your bday is I’m guessing you’re 33 on 31st?? Also you came on last night (sounds painful, hope you’re ok!) and I came on this morning...freaky!! I’m still trying to get the hang of periods just happening without me knowing as on the pill I would always know exactly when, and this is only my second cycle off the pill. Was only a day earlier than I was expecting though so guessing my cycle is more like 27 days (annoying though as DH and I have come on our first weekend away since Valentines Day and now we can’t DTD! Oh well, at least we aren’t trying yet )

@Emgem89 hi! Not a smoker but I do like a glass of wine or 2 from about Wed onwards! Used to be Thurs but then lockdown happened! I’ll definitely cut down once we actually start trying and want to lose about 10lb so will potentially start cutting down on alcohol from August onwards (it’s both our birthdays this month so getting those out of the way first!) xx

Hi @Emgem89! Definitely some cutting down on the booze to be done in this house. Wine consumption has definitely skyrocketed in this house since March.

I have had some very very light spotting today and generally feeling a bit crampy - hopefully this means my breakthrough bleed is coming and I can get on a proper cycle soon!

Hi @Emgem89 I’m 27 (partner is older) and this will be first baby for me. My boyfriend has children already though. Neither of us smoke, but we both like wine a bit too much so I will be cutting down on that!

I haven’t been on hormonal contraception for 4 or 5 years, but I don’t think there’s any harm in starting to track straight away? Most of the apps seem to be quite good at instantly updating when they receive new data I’m using Flo and Ovia at the moment, and I’ve started using the LH strips to try and help pinpoint ovulation.

@Emgem89 also...if you haven't had a drink since Feb what have you been doing???!!!

Get a bbt too x

@Emgem89 Hi.... welcome to the crazy world of TTC!! I'm so glad they were able to get it out in the end too! I can't remember if I've said this already....but yes I had withdrawal bleed on Monday. Been tracking using femometer OPKs, had one day with a slight line but nothing since. Stupidly I am feeling disappointed as I'd hoped to ovulate this weekend as lots of people said they did the week after removal.

Definitely get on the folic acid and vitamin D supplements. Try to get oh to quit too...if for nothing else the extra cash will definitely come in handy for baby bits!

@Nate1 if you had Mirena, how did you track your cycle before it was removed? Would we still have had a cycle? I think I had been experiencing EWCM but never thought anything of it before.

Oops *amazing (not amazed)
Ps. Your tracking looks brilliant- you've really got an organised hold on it @nate1

@Nate1
Thank you for your reply- I now remember you saying about how amazed your body is.
That's reassuring to hear.. So I presume I can start trying to track and get a handle on what's going on with my body from now on! That's exciting.
Still holding back on starting- it seems a bit trivial but as it's my birthday next month, I'm waiting for my best friend, who works abroad & hasn't been home in a year now- we are going for what used to be our annual camping trip together, get a bit tipsy and look at the stars over the ocean.
I haven't had a drink since Feb so can't imagine I'll last for that many anyway

Are any of you having to give up on drinking or smoking? X

Hi @Emgem89 I had my mirena removed two weeks ago, had a few days of withdrawel bleeding but that didn‘t stop my body from ovulating a few days ago:)! So far I have my regular cycle as I tracked it (temping) before my removal. :) I had a very irregular mens/no mens with the mirena so I am very happy now. Wish you good luck with your cycle. PS: Had a coil for 7 years

Hi ladies,

I'd love to join this thread too please!
It's been really helpful reading the previous posts and information! Also lovely to have people to talk to about all of this!

My backstory is; I'm 31 (next month) this will be mine and my partner's first so all of this is new! He is 38 and a smoker (not sure I can make him part with it for now) otherwise he's healthy..
I had my mirena removed this morning!! I did however have it in for 8 years with little to no periods during.. @butterfly5291 Did you experience this? How long was it before you had your first period? Should I be waiting until my body has regulated itself again?
Sorry to aim these questions at you, you seem to be the only one with a coil removal (very pleased for you that you were able to get it removed, eventually!)

I feel quite overwhelmed with information at this moment in time..I am going to start with the folic acid though- I am pretty healthy myself and as a child carer, I am super active. I did used to go to the gym but obviously that's stopped and I'm worried I won't be able to go back to weight training now that I'm planning on ttc!

Thank you again for this thread.
Good luck to all of us xx

@all the new planners:) Hi!
@CookieMonster3001 I felt sad about our exotic trip that obviously won‘t happen but now I just feel more excited about ttc soon and I think for my body it’s actually more relaxing not to travel and have the time zones etc. so I‘m fine now:) Furthermore with grandparents still around I think it‘ll be okay to go on a romantic holiday if really „needed“ even after having kids:)

My husband is relaxed and happy about our ttc plans but not at all as excited as I am. I think it‘s normal because it‘s not their body that has to suffer/have the great expirience to carry a baby 9 month. :D

@CookieMonster3001 oh when's your birthday. i think mine is 22 days (aug 1st). I'll be 32

@Lollipop87 nice to meet you!! I am 33 to (well in 21 days!) I have to agree with pinning down a date for TTC. Whilst me and OH never argued about it, he never really was one for forward planning and always brushed it off as we will talk about it closer to the time. It is only recently as all his friends have slowly started to become parents, that he is more into talking about it.... but I mean the BARE minimum. We agreed October was a good place to start and that's probably as much as I will get out of him!

@sunflowersaremyfav93 isn't it funny how men are so oblivious to how hard it actually is to get pregnant. My OH thought DTD on the day of ovulation will be enough to get us pregnant and I think he had a bit of a panic attack when I said no we are going to need to DTD every other day. (You'd think a guy would be excited at the prospect of that much sex!)

I finally had a chat with my sister as well, and she couldn't care less if I was pregnant or not, she has already started celebrating! She even said if we want to start earlier then do it and not to worry about the outfits! Definitely a weight off my chest but I also don't fancy forking out more money on more clothes!

I am slowly really started to feel bummed out that the idea of being able to go on a hot exotic getaway for one last time before getting pregnant is out of the window.

@wrensandrobins I totally understand, I am feeling more anxious the more the days pass! I am already such a worrier, that I am scared of what I am going to be like when I finally get pregnant. And I mean, when my older sister gave birth to her daughter and she would come stay over, I would not sleep because I wanted to hear the baby breathe all night to make sure she was OK. Even my sister thought I was weird!!

Oh and update, AF showed up last night with a bang. I woke up at 2am with THE worst pains and (TMI - sorry!) it all gushed out, clots and all! Plugged it into my FF app and its thrown all my dates off by a week now. (Yes I am the weirdo that has planned all the possible conception weeks over September, October and November to work out how many weeks I will be at my sisters wedding!) Shoot me now... I am insane

@wrensandrobins I think it's totally normal to have some anxiety around it - having a baby is a massive change and not something you can un-do once you've done it. It's definitely a bit of a leap of faith but I think you just need to trust that, even if it takes a bit of adjusting to, the good parts of becoming parents will significantly outweigh the challenging bits. Better to be taking it seriously and thinking about it than to go in with rose-tinted glasses!

I'm not sure if anyone else feels the same, but seeing my friends become parents has really helped me work through some of the anxiety I feel about this - yes, their lives look different now that they have kids, but they are still happy, their relationships are good and (once they get past the first year or so) they all still seem to be able to find some time for the things they enjoy.

Anyone am keen and definitely on board but also anxious about the change it will mean to my life! I'm very settled and happy and I have always wanted to be a mum, I'm 32 so it's not too early in life, I am so excited to be starting this next step but every now and then I get a little wave of anxiety? Is this this right thing for me and my partner? what if x happens?