Preconception planning - anyone want to join?

@Bells3032 do check but Id still recommend them. The service is incredible, you don't need a gp to refer you and its nhs.

@stepmumSW5 thanks but think that's over an hour away from me. I'll see if I can find somewhere a bit closer

@olderthanyouthink I might have to bump my own wedding if I take long to conceive. I'm already civilly married but the religious was postponed to god knows when... But i won't stop my life because of that, I will try to get preggers and decide when to have a wedding later 😬😂

@Lollipop87 that's so good to hear! I had mine more than 15 years ago so I was also worried but im still immune! 😊

@Bells3032 chelsea. It's next to the c&w hospital. Give them a call tomorrow. It was empty when i went and I got an appointment the same week.

I got a letter about a smear the other week and need to try and book one, I tried after DD was born and because I couldn't give a recent last period date they wouldn't do it! Then they changed the rules to make me too young.

I guess I was tested for rubella immunity before and it's unlikely to have worn off in the last couple years?? I'm seriously needle phobic...

You guys have been talking about weddings that you might be pregnant for and I just got the date for a family wedding next year and hopefully I'll either be pregnant or have a newborn

@JamesZebra she definitely mentioned preseed in the “bible” as I’d never heard of it before! Good luck for your next cycle! I definitely think men doubt their ability as fathers more than women do as mothers, maybe it’s down to women being “allowed” to be more maternal/nurturing throughout our lives whereas men don’t really have that same background usually.

I can’t remember who it was who mentioned about the rubella immunity test, @stepmumSW5 was it you? I finally got round to phoning my doctor today (who I’m a bit scared of as I’ve had him since I was 13!) and I was thinking he might try to fob me off, but he actually complimented me for being so responsible and said he wished more women would do their research and plan for pregnancy. So thank you, and I think that’s a big well done to us all for thinking ahead with all our pre-conception planning 😊 I have to go to my local hospital whenever and apparently they just look up his request on the system and do it then and there without an appointment, so might try to go tomorrow.

@maloney123 preseed is meant to be good as a lubricant if you are trying to conceive.....it mimics your own natural fluids/the fluid sperm is contained in and can apparently assist with getting the sperm getting to where they need to get. Lots of the conception vidoes on youtube sing its praises.
The reviews are "interesting" on Amazon with some people claiming that was the very thing that got them pregnant, others claiming it kills sperm/gave them a UTI/made them burn- the positives seem to out weigh the negatives. I wasn't sure what to think but decided it was worth a try- I haven't been using any contraception for quite a while and nothing has happened. I joined this thread in an attempt to better my chances and the advise has been great so now I am just gonna see what happens
I didn't use very much yesterday so I might use a bit more next time. I was going to wait to use it until I had lost more weight- I am down from 17stone to 15 now, but I am too impatient!

I am in North London. Where is John Hunter

@Bells3032 where are you based? I had mine removed at John hunter in London recently in June.

@Bells3032 not the coil but I met with some resistance on getting my implant out. Sexual Health Clinic were very helpful but said they would only do it if my GP refused and wrote a referral on to them. When I picked this up with the GP, that conversation was enough to get them to do it. Might be worth another push? I found in each case, getting past reception and speaking to a member of the medical team was key!

@JamesZebra I get the anxiety of starting a family and being scared. Its a whole new life once we have kids and to be honest, even I am a little petrified about it! Its good that you are so reassuring to him and hopefully everything will work out! Did you manage to get a better night sleep? You are doing great with your weight loss! Keep it going and fingers crossed this month is your month!

@wrensandrobins ohh that's interesting, you will have to let us know if it gets better. My migraines definatley got better, I hardly get them now. I used to suffer from them before going on the pill too but the pill made them 1000% worse

@maloney123 sorry to hear your first cycle didn't go to plan. Keep my fingers crossed for success in the next one for you.

I woke up today and logged my temp and its bleedin changed my ovulation day again and moved it 3 days. I am still 80% certain I ovulated this week on CD12 but it has now moved it to CD15. I am hoping once I have a full proper month of OPK and temping together, I can knuckle down on my actual ovulation day.

Rung my gp today and they said they won't do coil removals. Said to go to the sexual health clinics. I asked if she knew which ones were open. said no idea google it.

Have emailed my old gyno who put it in so waiting for a reply. Will have to probably pay a few hundred pounds for it but feel safer in his hands anyways

@queenatom I started temping today but it all went wrong police helicopter over my house at 4am and then my partner left at 5! From what I have read you need 4 solid hours of sleep for it to be reliable, I took it at 4am but I won't be getting up that early tomorrow so I think i need to count tomorrow as the first temp!

@JamesZebra sounds like you are doing all the right things and congrats on your weight loss as well! We have been using preseed but I wasn’t sure if that could be having a negative impact or not, but I prefer to use some form of lube when dtd! It’s hard to know what’s best! I’m with you in that I want to try and keep things fun and not too clinical

@maloney123 I actually have some melatonin in the house that was for my dd so I might give that a try just to get back into a routine.

We are still trying in the back ground whilst I make some positive changes to my body. Nothing happened last month. I am in my fertile window this week- dtd last night and used some pre-seed so wondering if that will make a difference. I am using OPK's but haven't had a spike this month yet. Also got DP some mens fertility vitamins.......so hopefully he will start them today. I have also been watching youtube vidoes about tips on conceiving.

Some of them talk about using a menstrual cup after you have done the deed.....not sure how I feel about that. I guess if nothing happens in the next few months since I have lost some weight/we are taking vitamins/using the preseed then I might consider it further down the line. Just feels a bit clinical when you want to try and keep things fun etc. I feel a lot more positive about our chances of conceiving since making changes. Just need to keep losing weight.

@wrensandrobins I have a few friends whose migraines improved significantly off the pill, for what it’s worth. I think it varies from person to person as to what triggers them. Mine seem to be set off by thunderstorms, not much I can do about that!

@JamesZebra I think it’s really common for men to worry about being a crap dad, I know my husband has had some of these thoughts too. I think a lot of men prior to becoming dads often spend less time around young children than women and so it’s a lot harder to imagine what it’s like to be a parent. Doesn’t help that my husband’s only real experience with young children was when his cousin had quadruplets which was obviously a lot more stressful for all concerned than having one baby!

My temperature has gone up again today by another .25 degrees - finding it fascinating to watch my first chart come together. Is anyone else temping and, if so, are your charts doing what you expected?

@wrensandrobins aww bless him. That must be really hard for him to worry he will be like his own dad. I guess we just have to build them up and reassure them that they will be ok. The thing with parenting is that there is no manual to say how to do it, a lot of it you have to make up as you go along. I have made some really crap decisions with my older kids that I look back on now and regret, but I was doing what I thought was best at the time. I used to beat myself up over it but now I have come to realise it is just part of being a parent and you learn so much as you go on.
My DP's dad was a wonderful man but he died a few years back and I think it's the fear that his dad isn't there to tell him everything will be ok. He got really upset a few nights back and cried because he really misses his dad. I am just glad he feels comfortable enough to tell me this stuff and open up when he is sad......so many men feel like they have to be "manly" and my DP is manly, he just knows that sometimes he needs a good cry.

@JamesZebra I’ve found melatonin gummies to be very good when I cannot sleep. Magnesium tablets also recommended!

How is everyone getting on? Our first “try” hasn’t ended in success as I got AF last week, disappointed but think I’m just being impatient. My other half isn’t complaining about having to keep trying haha

@CookieMonster3001 thank you! 500mg, my tablets are 400mg so I hopefully top that up enough with milk, yogurt and cheese!

Did your migraines get better off the pill? That for me is what I really need, I have lost so many days this summer lying in bed in the dark

@JamesZebra my partner is also worried about being a rubbish dad, his dad wasn't great and he accidentally knocked the dog flying the other day, I wondered why he was quiet and he said he is worried he will be accidentally too rough with the children or be crappy like his dad. I have no such worries, he is a really thoughtful kind man.

Good Morning :)

@JamesZebra another idea would be to listen to a podcast :) geography and history do the trick for me :D
Sorry to hear about your OH‘s thoughts and problems. Its probably good that you talk about it though. Maybe it will happen for you two without any troubles or appointments he has to go to..you never know. :)

Thanks for the ideas for sleep. Its getting off to sleep that's the issue. I will try the things advised. I sleep with a fan on for white noise....I just can't seem to relax in order to drop off.

Been 100% on my diet today and had a lovely few quiet hours at my allotment this evening so hopefully that will have tired me out a bit. Also had a really good chat with DP about baby stuff. He's convinced he can't have kids but won't get tested. So frustrating but he also said how scared he is of it all, what if he's crap dad? He's amazing with my kids so I have no worries in that department. He's worried he's too old (41) so I really feel it's now or never to try.

@zeerecords I use the Clue app which is free, I haven’t noticed it change anything yet based on my symptoms / tracking CM but I’ve only tracked 2 cycles so far and I think
I read it needs 3 to become “smart”. Are you using OPKs and/or your BBT? I’m just tracking CM for now and planning to start TTC in either Sept or Oct.

@JamesZebra sorry you were feeling rubbish yesterday, I often find a good cry helps! Hope you enjoyed your yoga. I was also a moody b**ch when I had my implant, didn’t realise until I got it taken out and felt so much better! That was a few years ago now. I’ve heard Epsom bath salts are great, I bought some lavender Epsom salts myself before my wedding just in case I felt stressed or it affected my sleep, but I never actually needed to use them.

@wrensandrobins that’s exciting! I hope for lovely, regular cycles for you!

@CookieMonster3001 happy anniversary and happy birthday for this week, I found having something to celebrate at the weekend made me really switch off from everything and relax and have some fun, so hope you enjoy it 😊

No advice on sleep but if you find the answer, let me know! I drift off fine most night but am then awake again a few hours later and can't get back to sleep. Grim.