Preconception planning - anyone want to join?

@butterfly5291 that is good news! Good luck Friday and I hope that your headaches go
Soon :)

Keeping everything crossed for you keep us updated :) xx

Hi everyone....hope you've all had lovely Sundays.
I had my appointment with the neurologist yesterday about my headaches and cyst on the CT scan. He said it was insignificant and they are very common. He is going to do an MRI on Friday to just be totally sure there is nothing else physical going on but he is pretty sure they won't find anything. He thinks it's likely that he'll see anything and is thinking my headache were triggered by a virus (I've heard there's one going around 🙄) and unfortunately left me with what he said the actual name is "daily persistent headaches". He did say they might go in pregnancy with the hormone changes.

I'm 12 dpo now, tested yesterday and this morning but no bfp. My temperature is still high which is apparently a good sign and that it dipped on day 8.
I still think it's highly unlikely I am pregnant but need to know for sure by Friday before I have the MRI.

@Lollipop87 yea I think private scans will be the way forward for a lot of people and I know they are still allowing them with DH :)

@mackjm20 yes you’re right, I’d forgotten about private scans. There’s a lovely place near us that does them, bought my sister and her husband an early gender scan as a Christmas present so my mum and her MIL could go while we were all together at Christmas which was lovely and not too extortionate so I guess that’s an option. Yes it’s great when they say something unprompted isn’t it, makes me go all warm inside 🥰

@MayDay27 ooh congrats, when is your wedding? Some companies pay extra mat pay too, but you usually have to have worked there for 1-2 years to qualify. My company is 2 years and then you get 6 months full pay (which I’ve been told by an HR friend is practically unheard of these days!) hence why I’ve worked there 4 years and won’t leave until I’ve had at least a couple of kids! You might even want to start in December for a Sept baby, especially as like wrensandrobins said first babies are often late and at least then you’d get maximum chance of a Sept-Nov baby. I’ve always thought ahead to when my potential baby would be born depending on when we start TTC, DH thinks I’m mad 😂 When I wanted to start on honeymoon in Jan I was like “aww an October honeymoon baby would be lovely!” and now my very reason for wanting to start in Sept is to try and have a baby in June rather than July as we have too many birthdays then already! I know it’s silly as you can’t really plan these things but as a planner I like to at least consider them 😂

A January conception would be a late September baby! Nine months but first babies are usually late!

@MayDay27 for statutory maternity pay the gov website says have worked for your employer continuouslyy_ for at least 26 weeks continuing into the ‘qualifying week’ - the 15th week before the expected week of childbirth

If your employer offers more you'll have to check with them! Maybe not on your first day! 🤣 I started my job in jan, and I covertly checked the handbook and it says stat only which I expected as small charity

@sunflowersaremyfav93 hoping to start the job in September, it's been really nice to read through bits of this post and know I'm not alone in planning! It's silly I know because you can't ever decide when it will happen but I would love an September/ October/November baby. Obviously it makes no difference and we would just be so happy to be lucky enough to have a baby but when would you look to conceive for a due date Sep-Nov? Sorry to everyone that's mentioned weddings and holidays been postponed our wedding is still going ahead but with 8 guests!

@Lollipop87

Thank you :) I know it’s such a pain isn’t it?! That’s great that the nhs website was able to put your minds at rest in fairness my 2 girlies who gave birth in June so mid lockdown said that the care they received was incredible like obviously was sad to not have DHs there for everything but both have happy healthy baby girls which is the priority :) also I believe you can still book private scans with DHs allowed to attend so I would defo do that if they restrict again.

Aww I love when they say when rather than if feels so real then doesn’t it!! Ah sounds like us I think the move will be on hold now until early next year c’est la vie! That’s so lush that he even thought about the bath! Ah exactly sometimes (I don’t know if you feel the same) but I feel like I talk about babies so much but when DH says something unprompted it makes me so happy lol!

Oh no what a nightmare so sorry to hear about the holiday!! We are due to go to Prague September but I’m not holding my breath now as expect maybe will get cancelled too. Cornwall will be so lovely too.

Eek how exciting for September and being your last cycle! :) see even if my DH agrees to start ttc in sept for me I would still have my August cycle and sept cycle then af should end 26 sept so the plan would be to start ttc then I think :)

Keeping everything crossed for you that this is your last non ttc cycle :)

@sunflowersaremyfav93

Haha actually laughed out loud at you saying about ramming it into any convo!
I swear I can turn anything into baby talk now haha! “Fancy a sandwich” ...”oh couldn’t have Brie if pregnant” Or “new guy started at work” ... “what’s his name can I add it to boy baby list” hahaha!

Covid is such a nightmare isn’t it! Same with us about moving closer to family! Haha funny you ask for housing experts as I’m actually a mortgage adviser- the stamp duty freeze is certainly causing a rush at the moment but no mention yet of a crash after March will keep my eyes and ears open though! If you need any mortgage help just give me a shout :) We will most likely move after March now and I think a lot of others will be in a similar position after letting income recoup it’s self so fingers crossed it stabilises.

Ah I’m so sorry about the promotion that’s the worst! Hopefully they pick it up when they can :)

For us earliest would be after sept af so 26 sept onwards but subject to DH really 🤞🏻 I’ve already been on folic acid since start of July trying to lose as many lbs as poss and up the walking :) that’s about it really :) remind me when are you planning to start ttc?

Honestly I’m so relieved to have this chat because truly imagine just starting ttc and having no idea about all the prep lol I would be totally freaking out if I found this in sept haha!

@MayDay27 well done on the new job :) and fingers crossed for January :) I’ve got to be honest not sure about maternity/ probation as I’m self employed but good luck :)

Xxx

@MayDay27 congrats on your new job, that’s great news! I guess you just have to see how the first couple of months goes and go from there, when do you start?

Hey everyone, I posted really early on about possibly trying soon but dependant on if I got a new job! Anyway I got the job which means we can look into trying maybe January! Now my next worry is what happens with maternity/job security and pregnancy if you are pregnant during your probation! This might never be an issue and after I start at my new place it may be best to wait a year or so to get settled but also the point of me changing career was to be I a better position for children so we don't want to put it off too long!

@olderthanyouthink why not 😂😂😂

@mackjm20 great to hear from you! Sorry about all of the COVID issues with work etc, it is a pain in the you know what!! DH was asking me about pregnancy in terms of the virus and a potential second wave, and I was like oh no he’s gonna want to postpone again! But actually he was great about it, we read up about it on the nhs website and he said he’d be gutted if he couldn’t come to scans but a friend of mine said you’re usually allowed to take a video on your phone if your partner isn’t allowed to come. Would suck but he said he doesn’t want to put our lives on hold, and it said you’re still allowed your birth partner during labour they just might not be able to stay with you afterwards. He’s also started talking about a baby in a much more real sense rather than just “when we have children” as if it’s miles away! We were also planning to move this year but COVID put a stop to that, so instead we are doing our house up with a view to move next year. DH was talking about getting a new bath and mentioned he’d considered a 3/4 bath with shower over and was like “as long as it fits a baby in it” - I honestly think because I’ve been chatting to all of you about this and have stopped going on about it so much, he’s come round to the idea on his own similar to your DH!

Annoyingly our September holiday is now cancelled as we were due to go to Menorca which is now on the no-travel list. We were due to pay the balance next Tuesday but our travel insurance said we wouldn’t be covered if we paid it and then couldn’t go, but if we cancel they’ll cover our deposit as we paid it in early March before lockdown. Gutted to not be going abroad but hoping to go to Cornwall for a week instead and I think DH is coming round to the idea of TTC a month earlier in Sept so fingers crossed I might be starting my last non-TTC cycle next week!! 🤞🏼

Have a lovely weekend everyone!! Xx

So just a little update from me now. So for a round a year now I have been talking to DH about when we start ttc etc (he is such a planner) and we had set on ttc from end of this year.

This was based on: having savings in the bank, having moved house and being at a healthy bmi.

So all seemed achievable to start ttc and then 2020 hit! Now I’m self employed so all our savings are gone as a result of covid and this has stopped us moving as well. The only thing I feel I’m getting closer to is the healthy bmi.

So in may DH basically said f* it we will see where we are at in sept and aslong as not financially suffering put the move on hold and start ttc (we have a 3 bed house so the move was more out of choice than necessity)

So I get all excited especially as 2 of my best friends gave birth in June which I swear has made me broodier than ever.

Then in July we are talking and DH says that to start ttc in sept he wants: to see where second wave is at, know my self employment is back to normal so we can restock savings for mat leave, and look to move at the end of the year- I literally felt so deflated like honestly I don’t blame him I know it’s all super sensible but anyone else feel like covid-19 is screwing with their plans?

So this last week I’ve been so busy at work but also just like okay well keep doing all the right things but if we delay until early 2021 so be it I never want to rush DH it has to be right for us both so I had kind of resigned myself to a delay. Also due to my history of blood clots I am totally on his page about assessing 2nd wave likelihood and would like to know our savings are rebuilding so a reassessment is disappointing but sensible.

Last night we are on our way to My in laws-now you may recall me mentioning they are desperate for us to have children so we stop to get wine on the way which is like my go to on arrival to avoid questions lol! And DH says make the most of this until sept I was like huh? And suddenly it’s like the second I’ve stopped talking about it and reading him the bible and obsessing he is open
To sept again.

He mentioned babies like 5 times at his parents and when planning this Christmas he says to his mum maybe you will have a grandchild by next Christmas (no pressure haha)

I just was so baffled. For now I’m going to keep myself to thinking it may be after March we try but sept is still the dream- note to self must not put on any pressure haha!

Anyway sorry for the long post but has taught me men think about all this stuff too and go back and forward. Maybe he needs a dads preconception planning group lol :)

Hope you all have great weekends :)

Sorry I have been so off the radar this week so lots of catching up. I’ve blinked and missed 3 pages of the thread haha! Here goes:

@MsQueenInTheNorth thank you! Been really trying on the weight loss this week I’ve been so busy with work so lost the plot a little but 1st of the month so going to give August a good go :) I am the exact same with holding all the weight on the stomach so annoying isn’t it! Well done on
The inches though that’s amazing!

@Lollipop87 so glad you had a lovely birthday :) amazing that dh has the life of dad book let us know what he thinks :) I’m exactly on your page on impatience and getting excited for period to get to know cycle! So nice to have this and know others feel the same!

@CookieMonster3001 well done on the run! Your chart is amazing! Literally live for this! You are so organised :)

Happy birthday and anniversary week :)

@queenatom well done any movement on the losses however slow is a positive. Could not agree more with social media ads I am getting exactly the same lol!

2 of my good friends have had babies too! So I know what you mean about patience not being a strong point. The more people have babies the broodier it makes me! So glad you got a good nights sleep and I hope you have an amazing time at the hotel :) I know feels so strange having to factor in periods again doesn’t it!

@Nate1 that’s so great that you were able to have a convo with your mum do you feel better for it?

@JamesZebra huge well done that’s amazing! Sounds like we have a similar loss/ amount to lose 3lb a week is incredible :) also so good that your dh is coming round to vitamins. I know what you mean about falling off the wagon I’ve been the same this week trying to snap myself out
Of it! Oh no bless you sometimes the emotion just needs to come out I really hope you are feeling better?

Are you still doing cwp? As strangely my sleep has been awful too! Wonder if there is a link?

@wrensandrobins sorry to hear the calcium hasn’t had the effect you wanted- I hadn’t heard of using it before tbh. I must have not got to that part of the bible yet :) Exciting on coming off the pill though :) I feel like once you are just using condoms it feels one step closer more real? Maybe just me :)

@smileyplant welcome :)

@maloney123 sorry to hear af has arrived. Fingers crossed for your next cycle

@sunflowersaremyfav93
Yes the weekends for me are worse too I feel so impatient on the weekends sometimes days it all feels soon and others I’m like hurry up!

Ah all caught up! I actually love this chat! However crazy I feel doing all the pre planning in the weirdest way I feel this chat keeps me sane :)

@sunflowersaremyfav93 Yuuuup. Pretty much everyone I know has at least one kid, and 4 of my good friends have had babies in the past six months. Would love to be where they are now! Patience has never been my strong point.

Finally got a good night's sleep and my husband seems to be feeling better, so feeling a lot more positive today. Interested to see when AF will show up - on CD22 so hopefully not for another 5-6 days. We're away next weekend at a nice country house hotel so will need to remember to pack accordingly - it's been so long since having proper periods, I'd forgotten how inconvenient they are!

@stepmumSW5 you can walk down the isle in labour or with a newborn right?!

@Bells3032 thats really good that you have a date :) ties in perfectly with your husband too.

Didn't lose any weight this week but I was a pig last weekend so not entirely shocked. Been doing OPK's and think I am about to spike- i'll upload a pic later. Still trying to get my head around how they work and reading them properly.

@queenatom glad it's not just me! I posted about it on the natural cycles private group and a few others on there had the same at the start and you get used to it and stop waking as much!

It's a shame about feeling poorly and having to cancel! Hope you are feeling better soon!

@Bells3032 exciting times!! Good luck!

@wrensandrobins I have the exact same issue! Personal record was waking at 12.30am convinced it was morning and I needed to temp. Ridiculous. I am seriously considering ordering a device called a Temp Drop which a friend of mine recommended - apparently it monitors you through the night and uses an algorithm to calculate the relevant temp for your chart, so it doesn’t matter if you wake up in the night, get up for a pee, sleep in late, etc. Not cheap but think if I’m still struggling a couple of cycles from now I might splash out.

I am feeling rotten today, headachy and very tired. Can’t tell if it’s AF approaching or if I’ve picked up the bug my husband’s had the past few days - or both! Have had to cancel plans to go out for dinner tonight as neither of us are feeling it.

Yay booked my coil appointment for 1st September. Husband is on probation for his new job til September 16th so timings good then. Couldn't get a local clinic to do it so gonna go privately. bit of a redic waste of money but what can you do?

I tried to temp again but I keep waking up at 3 and the 5 subconsciously thinking that I need to temp as soon as I wake! But I'm waking myself up! I have no idea how to stop myself doing that I have an alarm for 7 so there is no need for this disturbed sleep!

I shall persevere, hopefully my brain will start to relax about it soon!

@Lollipop87 it's funny isn't it how they doubt theirselves. He is so amazing with my kids, my dd has had a dreadful couple of years with crippling anxiety problems and he is so good with her. She adores him. It's so nice that she has such a great man for a step dad - he literally has nothing to worry about when it comes to that.

The kids are having a sleepover at their cousins this weekend right on my peak day (hopefully if I have tracked it right) so fingers crossed we can make things happen this month!!! I am just going to make the most of the kids being out of the house! its really hard having a normal relationship when you have teenagers who never seem to sleep!

Thanks I'll deff look into it. It's good to hsve a back up if I can't find something else closer