TTC after MC - June 2020 (Part 3)

@chloedancer897 I even told my ex partner(daughters dad) that we had miscarriaged
But he was not to say to her yet and even he cries cause he knows she’s gonna he heart broke :(

@VP91x now that it’s dried I can see it in real life. It sort of looks blue but unsure if it’s an evap.. don’t want to get my hopes up

@chloedancer897 it’s so hard... I’m annoyed at myself I’ve left it this late to have another one but honestly didn’t think anything would go wrong as both me and Dh have kids but both with previous partners and now I’m feeling like I won’t be able to give my daughter what she wants

@2020wish one day I went into my sons room and he was putting all of his toys in boxes and when I asked him what he was doing, he said he was clearing his room so the baby could have it. I cried my eyes out. He doesn't even know we are trying.

@ManchNic *little one xx

@ManchNic oh my word, I didn't realise you lost a little about one, I can't imagine how you feel. I'm so so sorry xox

@HopeForRainbowbaby that is sooo funny ahaha last night me and Dh were watching a film on Netflix that was set in the olden days and the girl suspected she was pregnant and took herself into
The toilet hut with a mirror and had a look at her vagina. Me and Dh was literally going how the flip can she tell she’s pregnant by looking at herself down there lol makes sense now

@VP91x especially asking them to look for anything blue down there 🤣🤣

@1990EM yeah I think that might be the turning point 😂

Strange as I was talking to OH today saying if only they could tell you if an egg had been fertilised. I know it’d be risky because it might not implant, but it’s weird thinking I wonder if my egg is travelling fertilised or it’s a lost one.

My mum was telling me the other day that when she had my older sisters, she couldn't do a test at home. You had to go to the docs for one. When she had me you could go to the chemist and have one, then you’d go some time later and get the results. Imagine that!
Couldn’t be doing our early detectors with FMU willy nilly

Actually the more I look at it I can’t see it. I think my sister is trying to twist my arm lol

@chloedancer897 I know how you feel :( my daughter is with a different relationship and she’s been begging me so long for a sibling. Even puts pregnancy tests in my shopping baskets. And cried when we told her she was going to be a big sister. My heart is breaking at the thought of crushing that.

@1990EM got a blue dye one... speaking of which

Ladies can you look at this picture. It’s the a test I took earlier and it was bfn. My sister asked me to send her a pic. She sent me this negative back off it cause she said she can see a faint line. Does anyone else see it or are we holding on to pure hope 😂

@MichT4 my husband already thought I was a bit crazy with the opks, if I asked him what colour I was down there I think he'd run for the hills
It's interesting though.. like imagine living before they had invented pregnancy tests?? Did they just wait for their period to stop coming to know if they were pregnant or not? What if you had an irregular cycle?! I once went for 6 months with no period and I tested every week, definitely wasn't pregnant in that time. So grateful for hpts!

@chloedancer897 @NightDreaming I just wanted to say I too feel like you do, and it is a comfort to know others feel the same. We always wanted two, but after my son was born I felt like I would have liked another. Since he died I'm desperate to have another. My daughter is wonderful but our family just isn't the same without our son, and I so desperately want to see her with a sibling again. Nothing will ever make losing Henry ok but I don't know how I'll deal with never having another, if it came to that.

I completely understand the feeling of falling apart every month, and not knowing what else you can do. It seems so unfair.

@2020wish and the others talking about feeling your cervix - I never used to be able to, but after having my children my cervix feels really low all the time. Seems to move a bit higher/lower but I can always feel it. Really wish I didn't know all these things and was still in ignorant bliss about all things TTC.

@NightDreaming you explained it exactly. I feel like the last almost 3 years, I have been stationary. I'm watching my life go by but I feel like I'm not moving anywhere.

Thank you all so much. My youngest is 7 now and he so desperately wants to be a big brother. It's a pain you can't describe. It's the same for all of us, a yearning that won't go away. It's so comforting to hear that we are all in this together ❤️❤️❤️❤️

@2020wish hoping tomorrow brings good news! Do you have a blue dye test you can use?

@chloedancer897 and @NightDreaming .. as someone who is desperately hoping that this pregnancy survives to give us our third child, I am praying that it becomes a reality for your third babies too. Waiting to get pregnant with your first is horrible when it doesn't hapoen right away but its also really difficult when you're desperate to give your children a sibling and the age gap keeps going up and up.
It took me a whole year to get pregnant with our first and that was the longest year of my life. I can only imagine what 2 years, 3 years feels like. Sending lots of love.

@HopeForRainbowbaby 😂😂 don’t give us something else to check. Not sure what OH will say if I ask him to check the colour of my vagina 🤣

@chloedancer897 @NightDreaming I really hope things happen for you soon. Please don’t lose hope xx

I’ve never understood checking the cervix. I’ve tried and didn’t get any conclusion so I took it off my list of things to try and track. One less on a list of 875

@HopeForRainbowbaby ooh that's interesting about the change in colour shame it's not straight after sex and guessing a HPT will detect the pregnancy first anyway these days.

@chloedancer897 @NightDreaming I've only been trying for 3 months and honestly struggling some days already, it is my first and I'm so desperate to be a mum. Really hoping that you both get to complete your families really soon xx

@DBTJ @VP91x yeah I can definitely feel it when it's low and I know it's high when I can't feel it bit will have to try and get to the top when it drops next, I guess the more you feel it the more you get used to it xx

Well ladies. In the past the gynecologists didn't have ultrasounds etc and I have heard they confirm "earlier " pregnancies by colour of vagina. Maybe easier than cervix( I would not be able to do that ). So I have researched little bit and directly found this:

www.healthline.com/health/pregnancy/vaginal-changes#1.-Your-vagina-might-turn-a-Smurfy-shade-of-blue

Your vagina might turn a Smurfy shade of blue
When you think of a certain body part turning blue, you generally don’t think of a vagina — but that’s exactly what can happen when you’re newly pregnant.
Known as Chadwick’s sign, it’s caused by increased blood flow down below. Unless you’re literally looking for it, you may not even know that it’s happened since it doesn’t cause any discomfort. Regardless, the blue or purple hue should disappear shortly after you give birth.
This change of color in the vagina, labia, and cervix can occur as early as four weeks, making it one of the first indications that you could be pregnant.

I can’t feel mine at all. Even with my leg propped up on bath and squatting hahaha so sorry. Can’t get in far enough so haven’t a clue if it’s open or closed

@NightDreaming it's so helpful talking to other people going through it. It's soul destroying. I've never wanted anything more and it's all I think about. People have said hurtful things like I'm lucky to have two. I know that. I feel lucky. I just have a massive void where a 3rd should be. I always wanted 3 (at least!)

I'm on the list for IVF. I was contacted to come in but the pandemic struck and they cancelled it. I've had all the investigations done and nothing is wrong with either of us. Which should be a relief but it also means we have no idea why we aren't getting pregnant or what we can do to change it.