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Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

Original poster

TTC in my late 30s... need reassurance! Anyone else?

33 replies

CC81 · 09/06/2020 09:53

Hi all. I'd be really grateful to hear from anyone who's managed to conceive in their late 30s, despite a few concerns - and also those in the same situation as me, with similar worries!

I'm 38 and we've been TTC for nearly 6 months. I know this isn't long, but I'm worried about my fertility for various reasons (see below!) - and can't help feeling scared that time is running out for me :/

So I'm wondering if there are things I should be looking out for. Or alternatively, if I'm reading too much into things!

Main concerns:

Spotting for several days before my period in recent months, which is confusing (mid-cycle bleeding can mean all sorts of things - but of course I worry it's the bad stuff, like early menopause).

My age and what this means for my eggs etc. - and how I find out.

I had a c-section in 2017 (first child) and although I healed well, I'm worried that there might be internal complications from that - scar tissue etc?

Stress levels in recent months/years (trying to work on this).

Positives:

Tests have indicated that I do ovulate - I had progesterone tested by the GP last year and they said it was 'consistent with ovulation'; and I did an OPK test last month, which showed an LH surge.

My periods are now reasonably regular, despite irregularities last year after I stopped breastfeeding.

At age 35, three years ago, I got pregnant almost immediately with my daughter and was very fortunate to have a healthy pregnancy.

I think the latter is partly why I'm freaking out this time, as I'm inexperienced with the ins-and-outs of TTC. I see people talking about things like body temperature and it's all a mystery to me - I don't know where to start.

Has anyone had similar worries and yet conceived? Or are you in the same boat as me?

OP posts:
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Original poster
CC81 · 20/07/2020 12:45

@Moominmiss - Thank you - it's good to have a few to consider.

@JamesZebra - It sounds like you're taking the right steps. Also, time is on your side. I'm only 6 years older but it feels ancient! And I'll be 39 in October - eek.

I'm now considering getting an AMH test done privately - to establish egg quality/quantity - as that may indicate whether I should simply keep trying, or seek further help. It's £170 at our nearest clinic (with a referral from the GP).

OP posts:
JamesZebra · 17/07/2020 00:36

it's really good to read other people have similar fears. I am 32 and had some weird changes to my periods about a year ago.....spotting in the days before and much lighter, watery blood. I am used to heavy periods.
My dr did the day 3 and day 21 tests and everything came back ok, except my prolactin levels were slightly raised. He didn't really say much in relation to that and I thought nothing of it,
Dp and i have not used contraception for some time and havent managed to get pg. I have two teenagers from a previous relationship but also had an ectopic about 10 years ago and lost a tube. so all in all I don't think I stand much chance of getting pregnant right now. I have done lots of reading online and I am hoping I can improve my chances by loosing a good chunk of weight- I am 1 stone down so far but think i could do with losing another 4 or 5!!! I am also taking vitamins to help with my overall health.
My next step is to start exercising more as I have become very sedentary during lock down. I am not sure if there is anything else I can do but I will be watching this thread for ideas. DP is in his 40's too so I am not sure if that effects our chances too. Ideally Id like him to get his swimmers checked but he is having none of it.

Moominmiss · 16/07/2020 22:26

@CC81 just to add I buy my ubiquinol from here. I was recommended these ones by a few ladies on here.

Their pretty reasonable. It’s £58 for 2 packs. I take 2 capsules a day so 2 packs lasts me 2 months.

www.naturesbest.co.uk/co-q10/co-q10/ubiquinol-100mg/

Original poster
CC81 · 16/07/2020 14:02

@Excitablemuch - Thanks - I've got Prime, so will order some. Also some B6. Can't harm!

OP posts:
Excitablemuch · 16/07/2020 09:26

I got mine from amazon and bought this Ubiquinol 200mg 30 Softgels EAF CoQ10 (Enhanced Absorption Formula Coenzyme Q10 as Kaneka QH) www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B00LFVDK1E/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_i_96aeFbFRNG6RE?tag=mumsnetforu03-21

Expensive but I figured for egg quality was worth the money. Will stop taking that now but carry on b6 and pregnacare for first trimester I think.

Original poster
CC81 · 16/07/2020 08:47

PS - @Excitablemuch - Where do you get your ubiquinol? I'm comparing a few.

OP posts:
Original poster
CC81 · 16/07/2020 08:13

@Excitablemuch - Oooo, congratulations! That's awesome. Really pleased for you :)

I feel the same - it's very helpful to discuss each other's experiences.

Cheers for the tips on what you've been doing. I'm going to make a note of that. I've only been considering all this stuff in the last couple of months, so still feel quite new to it. x

OP posts:
Excitablemuch · 16/07/2020 04:54

Well I woke up this morning - AF due today- and decided I would take my temperature rather than waste a test. It had rocketed but I had sleep badly... then decided I’d better take a test and only got a BFP!

I’m so excited and also feel silly for worrying about it so much now.... I guess now the other worries kick in. Some things I did this month:
CQ10 - ubiquinol
Pregnacare
Vitb6 100mg til ov and 200mg after
Ate a bit better
Exercised less
Lots and lots of water
We DTD in the afternoon on my second day of peak so I think we caught an extra chance there.

I think I am going to continue to take the vit b6 as I worry about a sudden drop in progesterone.....

It’s worth saying I had all normal AF symptoms even last night although they were slightly less obvious last 2 days. Only difference was no spots....

Hope that’s reassuring @CC81 you can do this :) the replies I have on here have really helped me to calm down and realise it’s all normal. Now just hoping for a good ride for the next few weeks.

Original poster
CC81 · 15/07/2020 10:06

@Moominmiss - I totally understand your worries about perimenopause, as I've panicked about the same thing.

However, as an observer - reading everything you've been though - it seems to me that you've really been through the wringer recently, so the stress and constant changes seem a likely cause for changes in your periods (rather than perimenopause). Fingers crossed.

I've tried to look at my own situation more objectively, in recent days. My periods have been reasonably regular over the last year, with a normal length (4-5 days) and 'normal' level of bleeding.

My latest cycle has been weird - but I had a particularly stressful month, so that makes sense. It may have happened in the past and I just never noticed, as I never tracked anything before the last year! We've TTC for about 6 months and think we got the timing wrong on at least one of those cycles.

So, from a doctor's point of view, I'm probably not abnormal and they therefore wouldn't consider referring me just yet. I've got a GP appointment (phone) booked next week, so will probably ask about having the standard tests done again.

But if we have a couple more months of nothing - or anything else seems weird - we'll almost certainly go for a private fertility MOT (just for speed).

The waiting is AWFUL and I really struggle with that sort of thing, so I sympathise. Good luck with the next steps and please do pop back to update us. xxx

OP posts:
Moominmiss · 15/07/2020 09:50

@CC81 so yeah, I spoke to my own gp after my third loss and she referred me to a fertility consultant at the local hospital. I then received my referral letter with details of the tests they wanted done. It only took about 2 weeks for the referral to come through. And I’ve just had the first set of blood tests done on Monday. My oh is booked in for his semen analysis in a couple of weeks, and then I have to have my 21 day bloods and then we’ll be called for an appointment to discuss the results. Kind of nerve wracking waiting, as I’m pretty sure they will find plenty wrong with me.

I’ll be interested to see if it indicates I’m entering into perimenopause as my periods have definitely changed. The af I’ve just had lasted only 3 days, although it was heavier the first 2 days than it had been previously. So no idea if that’s good or bad.

I’m super impatient and I’d already been looking into private fertility testing before I even spoke to my gp, so if I was you I’d have probably already booked in privately 🙈 but realistically it’s probably not a bad idea to just contact your gp and see if they can can arrange for you to just get repeat bloods done.

With me because I wasn’t entirely convinced of the reliability of my af arriving at the right time, my gp gave me forms that she’d completed requesting all the blood tests that the fertility consultant was wanting, then gave me the forms so that I wouldn’t have to book an appointment when my af arrived, as waiting until my af actually arrived might have meant I then couldn’t get an appointment booked in at the right time, but having the forms then meant I could just take those and go to phlebotomy walk in clinic at the hospital and just have the blood tests done there and then.

So maybe your gp could do something similar for you? So you can have request forms ready to take to get your bloods done as soon as your af appears.

I have another request form ready for my 21 day bloods as I don’t know when I’ll ovulate, so don’t know when 7 days before my af will be. So I’ll do ovulation tests until I get my positive, then assume the next day is ovulation. Then I know my lp is 13 days long so will go for my bloods 6 days after ovulation which will be 7 days before af.

Good luck with it all. It’s a good sign that your tests last year indication no issues though. Like I know things can change, but it was only a year ago, not several so fingers crossed it’ll all still be good.

Original poster
CC81 · 14/07/2020 14:43

@Excitablemuch - Yeah, good plan!

I think after a couple of months of monitoring everything, like you, I will opt for a more relaxed approach and simply DTD every other day. That's how it worked for us the first time. I knew NOTHING!

First, I just want to have a couple of months where I track things and understand them a bit more clearly (as I've only really done OPKs twice before and have literally only just started temping) - simply to reassure myself that things are working as they should.

Or alternatively, if that doesn't go anywhere, I'll know it's time to seek medical help... (hopefully not).

Good luck with the next round!

OP posts:
Excitablemuch · 14/07/2020 12:58

@CC81
How strange! Well done for figuring that out!

I am 11dpo today and temp dropped a bit this morning. Weirdly had really strong AF symptoms earlier this week and then they went away - back today though :( so I think I’m out again - bleurgh!

Feeling pretty down but I need to be calm and sensible and patient! Next month I am not charting or OPKing I will simply DTD EOD the whole month through. I have ovulated same day every month for last 3 so I know when it’s go time anyway!

The if bfp next cycle I will call the docs when back from holiday and take her up on the offer of tests. Reassurance might be key I guess.

Now if I could just get DH to take some vits.... he’s so anti anything medical!!!

Original poster
CC81 · 14/07/2020 11:05

@Excitablemuch - I may have an answer to the weird timings! I didn't know previously that it's possible to have more than one LH surge in a month. Maybe you've missed one of yours and that's why the period timings haven't lined up sometimes?

This is what I think happened to me, during the last cycle (it's really freaked me out, over the last week):

Day 14: LH surge (positive OPK), bang on schedule.
Day 14: Also a really stressful work event, which affected me all week.

Day 15: I assumed I ovulated - but I now think it didn't happen, due to the afore-mentioned stress.

Day 25 (possibly also days either side): Random EWCM - I didn't test, but if I had, may well have seen a second LH surge. I now reckon this was when I actually ovulated (my body having a 'second go').

Day 26: When my period would usually start (ish).

Day 35: Spotting and general AF symptoms - so when it appears properly, it's likely to be about 2 weeks after that random EWCM, which would make sense for the ovulation/period relationship.

Unfortunately, by day 25 we'd stopped DTD! So next month we'll probably carry on with every other day...

OP posts:
Original poster
CC81 · 13/07/2020 11:44

@Moominmiss (I posted this first but it didn't appear:) Really sorry to hear about your recent experiences - it must be so stressful. Hope you get some good news from the tests.

OP posts:
Original poster
CC81 · 13/07/2020 11:42

@Moominmiss - Thanks for your reply. Is that an NHS referral? Those are the tests I had last year (via GP), which came back normal... but my body may have changed since.

I've freaked out a bit this month, because of the sudden long cycle. I hate not knowing what's happening.

I've booked a phone appointment with the GP next week, so will see what they say. Probably a repeat of tests... but as they're all time-dependent, I imagine they can't be done until my period appears.

I'm wondering whether to look into a private fertility 'MOT'. It costs about £300-£400 and might be worth it to get some answers.

But maybe I should be patient and see if my cycle normalises first. ???????????

OP posts:
Moominmiss · 09/07/2020 20:14

@CC81 hey, just wanted to pop back in and let you know that I’m on cycle 9 of ttc and have had 1 mc and 2 chemicals now within the last 6 cycles. I have just had my referral through Through with the fertility specialist. Not that falling pregnant seems to be the issue but keeping it does.

You said you wondered what tests they might offer so I thought I’d let you know what I have to have to start off with

Within the first 5 days of my cycle I will have blood tests for FSH, LH, Testosterone, Prolactin, and Thyroxine.

Then on cd21 or the equivalent (7 days before af is due) I will have the test for progesterone.

Oh has also been given an appointment for a semen analysis.

Hope that helps.

X

Excitablemuch · 09/07/2020 17:04

@CC81 hey there! I’m good- I think!! I’m 6dpo and feel pretty normal - same as last month and month before but can’t work out if that is good or bad!!! Vitb6 took LP to 12 days last month which is good news I’ve upped mY does after ovulation this month see what happens. I temped until ovulation only and was intending to not even know how many days post ov I was but that hasn’t quite worked! Strange you’re having a weird cycle.... maybe test again?!

@CurlyEmz thank you for that... I think I could be positive if someone could wave a magic wand and say it will happen you just have to wait. I mean, I am sure it will - statistics and all that!
Hi @leftitlate37 welcome! I think it’s really comforting to know other people are feeling this way and worrying - it’s all very normal!

Fingers crossed for all of us!!!

leftitlate37 · 09/07/2020 14:28

hi! I have no reassurance, but definitely have the same worries - as the name might suggest. argh, just hope we haven't left it too late. would probably only count this as first cycle as realistically think we missed the fertie window last cycle when made decision to TTC. same as u tho, well ive usually got regular cycles, but when used OPKs this month i didn't a positive til CD20 - so (cos i know nothing!) i've been told that means AF will be later this month - and was predicted in next couple of days if cycle was normal length. i know i cant get stressed as early days but as sonn as u get something in your head, u want it to happen!!!
good luck anyway to you - hopefully this will just be long cycle for u! x

Original poster
CC81 · 09/07/2020 14:17

@CurlyEmz - Thanks for your reply. Glad to hear it all came right in the end :)

I have one child (conceived at age 35, in 2017). I'd be interested to know what tests they would do... I've already had one for progesterone (last summer), which came back "consistent with ovulation"). Usually I have all the signs you'd expect.

But this month is weird... it's either a long cycle or missed period. Typical when we're TTC, after a year of pretty regular cycles!

OP posts:
CurlyEmz · 08/07/2020 23:10

Just to make that clearer...i do have 2 kids, my daughter is nearly 13 and my son is 1 this month, lol! It's shame you can't edit these posts!

CurlyEmz · 08/07/2020 23:09

I had my daughter at 26, she's 13 next month. I got caught on the pill, took a course of antibiotics that made me really sick for a few days, as a result i ovulated. My baby boy was born by c-section in July 19, he'll be 1 this month and I was 38 when I had him (39 now obviously). However, the journey to him was not a good one. I had 2 MC's and 2 chemicals and altogether took 18 months. Don't ever give up hope though, if you're over 35, the gp can do quite a bit of testing if you have no other children, if you do have other children the they can do a handful of tests but that's it.

Be strong lovely, you will get there. Xxx

Original poster
CC81 · 08/07/2020 22:47

@Excitablemuch - How are you doing?

My period is late (on day 30, when usually it arrives around day 26) - but I had a negative pregnancy test on day 28.

Plus, I just really don't think this month was a good one... I was really stressed around ovulation time. Aaaagh.

OP posts:
Original poster
CC81 · 10/06/2020 15:37

@Moominmiss - Sorry my replies to you were so short! I was in the garden with my toddler. Really sorry to hear about the troubles you've had. It sounds like a good idea to get some tests done. You may well be the same as me and @Excitablemuch - i.e. technically things are working, but it's just not lining up.

Like you, my biggest worries in this situation are poor egg quality and perimenopause. Also blockages of some kind. I'm not sure how we find out about these things... probably a private assessment.

OP posts:
Original poster
CC81 · 10/06/2020 15:32

@SallyWD - Thank you, it's reassuring to hear that. Yes, I was SO surprised the first time around. Being 35, I thought it would take AGES... but no. I didn't feel ready! Now it's all the other way around.

@Excitablemuch - Yeah, we 'launched too early' for the most recent cycle... not sure there was much useful stuff left by the time my actual ovulation occurred (according to OPK test). Haha! The SMEP schedule seems a sensible one.

OP posts:
Excitablemuch · 09/06/2020 14:00

Totally with you I just can only visualise not being able to get pregnant and not having a second and nothing else! Which I’m pretty sure doesn’t help anything Smile

Crazy what hormones and wanting something do to you! I had no worries when I conceived in 2017. Hadn’t even considered it not happening!!! And I wasn’t that much younger .

Last month I had way fewer symptom spotting and am trying to convince myself it won’t happen in order to not get crazy in 2ww. Had positive opks yesterday and today and have bd last 3 nights. Will have night off tonight - much to hubby’s relief- and then possibly try to get one in tomorrow morning. I went too early this month as I was trying to listen to EWCM not just opk. I had concerns around the opk being too late!

I do wish I could think about something else. Being back at work has helped a bit (I’m a deputy head) being busy!