Did they lie to us?

DC1 - 1night - dunken fumble!!
DC2 - 2 years of regular sex in my fertile time
DC3/4 - 3 months of regular sex during my fertile period

It's not only different for everyone, it's also different for the same woman over different pregnancies!!!

Apologies OP, mine was the first reply and responded in a practical and factual manner. I didn’t pick up on the fact that you just wanted support/sympathy.
TTC is tough, yes. As I said, my first took 13 months (no known issues) and it was mentally hard.

I wouldn't say lied but I think it's fair to say they have an agenda to prevent teenagers getting pregnant

Hey. So...I'm the OP. I'm a very sensitive person and deleted my account after reading the first 2 replies as they made me feel like a complete idiot. I've come back after seeing some more supportive words of encouragement.
I know it can take a while and that 80% of couples TTC do so in the first year. I was just looking for a space to vent. I have an incredibly supportive DH who has let me cry it out but I wanted to reach out to fellow MN members who might be feeling the same.
I've done the research, I'm tracking my cycle using the Flo app and patiently waiting for my body to return back to normal after years of being on the pill. I actually said to DH that I'm glad I got my period as it means I can log it and get more accurate predictions.
Thank you to those with words of encouragement, it means a lot and it brought me back here

@SunKissed89 I totally get you! I'm now on to cycle 4 and so over waiting already, I know it's normal for it to take a year or more even when there are no issues but that doesnt make my feel any more patient about it! My mum got pregnant accidentally with me, I dont think she ever would have chosen to have a baby. And now here I am desperate for a child and nada. This is just one of the things in life we have no control over, what will be will be. Best of luck to you and I hope it happens quickly!

I remember when we started trying I thought well I've never had an accidental pregnancy so maybe I'm going to struggle because at school, teachers always acted as if people got pregnant accidentally all the time!

As it happens, it was relatively quick for me and now I'm worried that we will have an accidental aghhhhh! You spend so many years trying not to get pregnant and then suddenly you are so determined to get pregnant. It's all madness. Fingers crossed for you. Btw pre-seed lube helped us

I agree with you @SunKissed89. Whilst no one lied to us as obviously it is possible to have sex once and conceive as plenty of people do it and have 'accidents' etc etc I don't think it is pressed enough on ladies just how HARD ttc can be. Plenty of women take a year and upwards to conceive and that's totally normal, but we are told so often how risky unprotected sex can be that when it doesn't happen instantly our immediate thought is 'something is wrong with me'.

I do think there should be more guidance where the pill is concerned at just how long it can take for your body to go back to normal. Some snap back and some don't and theres no rhyme or reason for it.

Don't fret about a few months TTC. Just keep plodding on and it'll happen!

Speaking as someone who had a lot of fertility issues, and was trying for a very long time, if you’re only in month 2 you need to take a deep breath and calm down. It’s for your own good, else this could be a very stressful experience. It’s completely normal to take upto 1 year to conceive.

I think you are confused by that statement. If you have sex at the time of ovulation and a sperm meets your egg you will get pregnant but if you have sex say on CD27 you are unlikely to get pregnant if you have a 28day cycle.

No one lied to you.

Ok, maybe we all need to think that the OP is struggling and wanted to reach out. She has asked where the information was about supporting mental well-being when TTC - no response has picked up on that and people instead have jumped on other parts of the post. Telling someone they should have listened in class is by no means helpful. Have some sympathy and be kind, there's no need for rudeness. If you cannot put something nicely don't put anything. People come here for support, think before you post.

OP I completely understand your frustrations. Whilst they did not lie to us they did not say what support is in place for people who are struggling TTC. There are some people who will get pregnant the first time they have sex, there will be others who don't. You're the same age as me, I came off the pill at the end of a March and we are TTC Baby number 1. If you'd like to join a supportive group where no one judges then come over to first-time-ttc-help-please-any-one-else-ttc-for-their-first-time. Xxx

it only takes one time to get pregnant

It does only take one time. When you do get pregnant it will be from one specific time you had sex. Pregnancy is not caused by a build up of semen over a period of time. I suggest to do some reading about human reproduction.

I get it was to protect us from unwanted teenage pregnancies but what about when we're older and actually want to start a family?

You’re 31 so I can tell you that it absolutely was taught to you in biology class. You were taught about ovulation and how it only happens once a month, around half way through your cycle. If you didn’t listen in class that is your own fault- no one else’s.

No they didn’t lie to us. Of course you can get pregnant from one incidence of unprotected sex. Doesn’t mean you definitely will though.
My first took 13 months to conceive. My second was conceived while I was on the mini pill (no missed pills). My third took 2 months.
Saying ‘if you have unprotected sex you could get pregnant’ isn’t the same thing as saying ‘you will get pregnant the first time you have unprotected sex’.