Penguin huddle 🐧🐧🐧 TTC after pregnancy loss - Thread 35 - time for some sticky BFP's

Thanks for the welcome @VenusStarr. I tested today and got a squinter on the opk. I'm not due to ovulate till Sunday though so I'm not concerned yet, unless you think I should be. It was about half 2 when I tested. I nearly tried again this evening but thought I'd save the sticks for when they will tell me something useful! My opks are from wilko. Not sure how good they are but I wasn't going to test and these were fairly cheap off the shelf, £1.50 for 5. Temping for the first time this cycle so not sure how much it will tell me tbh.

OH has been suprisingly obliging on the schedule idea so far. I thought we were too far out so wasn't going to bother last night but he had other ideas. Hopefully he stays obliging as usually we only dtd 2-3 times a month nevermind a week! He stays up late and then is tired. No excuses this week!

Thank you @Sakura54, I'm not counting this one as a loss, I'm not 100% certain of the positives as they were blue dye ones and my period arrived on time. It's too upsetting to think it's something more. I'm taking it as a positive that the sperm likely met the egg.
You might be ovulating now? After my MMCs my cycle returned to normal straight away but after my chemical in February they've been a bit off.

@Katie1109 I hope you're OK, thinking of you ❤️

Welcome @Esssa, I'm sorry for your losses ❤️ I've done smep twice, second pregnancy it worked (but mc) then last cycle I think they did meet but af arrived on time. We'll be trying it again - much to dh's delight - not really, he hates being on a schedule, but I know it does work for us. I use cheap amazon opks, I found that testing between 2-10pm I can catch my positive. Have you started testing yet? I ovulate the same day as my positive - I temp as well to confirm.

@Mumlili9 your pre-ov temps are very stable, I hope you've seen a shift now and you're in with a shot this cycle 🤞

Hope you're OK @peperethecat, I know you've probably taken a step back for a while, but sending you best wishes xx

Sorry you're going through this @Katie1109 MMCs are cruel...I had one recently too and didn’t find out until 13 weeks. In regards to TTC again, it’s the same regardless of what management option you choose. Still have to wait until the bleeding stops and at least 2 weeks before DTD. They advise to wait for your first period though.

@VenusStarr Oh no sorry you’ve had another MC. That’s good that you got good news about your IVF funding though.

I’m waiting for my 2nd AF since the MMC. I'm expecting and hoping it will arrive in about 2 weeks. Since last night, though, I’ve had a heavy feeling down below that I usually get when AF is about to come...interesting as my first just finished last week or it could be ovulation!? I'd rather AF came early than late though, so that there is no confusion about pregnancy as I certainly haven’t been preventing it lol!

I’ve read that it can take 2 months even if the 1st one came on time. Did any of you have very messed up cycles after MC? I didn’t even care about when my 1st AF would come but 2nd one is a little different for me due to using a new eczema cream for a month, that shouldn’t be used when pregnant.

@Mumlili9 thank you x I have PM’d you x

I'm new here too though I've lurked on mumsnet for a few years. I'm one of those annoying ones (so far) that get pregnant by accident but the previous ones haven't stuck. This is the first one I'm actually trying for which is scary. Hopefully pregnancy number 4 will stick around. I'm a bit older at 32 now as my last pregnancy ended in mmc nearly 2.5 years ago.

I have wanted to try again all that time but this is finally when we can go for it, in the middle of a pandemic I've had long term medication to reduce doses of and I should have done a much better job of losing some weight but I don't want to wait any longer incase we need to go again or have help.

I'm planning based on smep and have my first opk today though we did bd last night. I'm cycle day 9/27 and expecting ovulation on Sunday. Any tips for opks I've not used them before.

Focusing on getting pregnant to keep myself busy then I'm going to go back to worrying myself stupid about it going wrong again. Sorry for the long post and I'm sorry you all find yourself here too. Its shitty.

@Katie1109 for me it took about 4 and a half hours to 5 hours each time. I don't know if they told you because they didn't tell me but it can cause vomiting and diarrhea. I'm not trying to scare you but I wish someone would have told me as I found it scary the first time. If you would like to chat privately please feel free to pm me xx

@Mumlili9 thank you hun x I’m feeling ok so far, it’s been an hour since the tablet x how soon am I expected to be bleeding? I was so upset there I forgot to ask questions 😔

@Katie1109 I hope you have a peaceful experience (as peaceful as possible if you know what I mean) and just know we're here to talk if you need it. I was on this thread chatting the whole time I was in hospital and the ladies were wonderful and supportive.

I was given mifepristone tablet there and then and pessaries to take on Friday x embryo is now only 6mm and the sac 25mm x it’s going to be tough couple of days 😭

@Mumlili9 thank you, it was probably me misreading it, my head is all over the place x
My appointment is at 10am so I will update you lovely ladies afterwards x thank you for the much needed support x we haven’t told anyone so it’s only me and my OH in this x didn’t want to cause my parents any upset unnecessarily x

@36Katie1109 I'm not sure I was clear. I left the ward and passed my baby at home. It wasn't all bad, I was with my DH and my mum. I'd choose that route again x

@Mumlili9 thank you for sharing your story with me and sorry you had to go through it x I will do whatever I can to go through it in a comfort of my own home surrounded by people who love me and not alone in the hospital 😭

@Katie1109 hello and sorry for your loss. In my experience with the meds (I had pessaries) you are basically there all day. You go in in the morning and they do all your obs and talk to you about what's going to happen, then you sign consent forms and they ask that if you pass the pregnancy / baby there, if you want cremation or to make your own arrangements. Then you are given the medication and you have to stay on ward for a minimum of 3 hours. For me I've had it 4 times and it usually starts about 41/2 hours after the meds are placed. It started with cramps and light bleeding that increased over a few hours. For me it was quite painful but for others they say it's no worse than period pain. I was very surprised the first time by how much bleeding there was but its quite normal. I did lose quite big clots but I think it depends on how far along in pregnancy you are. I experienced gushes of bleeding and clots and painful cramps until I passed the babies and placenta, then it all calmed down and was more like a period for a week. I've had erpc's as well but we were able to start trying as soon as I stopped bleeding and felt ready which was just 3 weeks after the erpc. Either way it can unsettle your cycles for a little bit or you might go straight back to normal.

I hope you're OK and remember were here for you

@VenusStarr great news about the ivf. As for me I Don't know. I've ovulation pains on my right side (tube side) and ewcm but opks still negative. Cbfm says high for the last 3 days and I'm cd10 today. DH couldn't dtd it just didn't go as planned. Hoping for a better chance tonight but after that he's back to work for 5 days. Last cycle was so weird, my follicular phase was longer than usual but my luteal phase was the shortest I've ever had and my AF was practically none existent but for the first time in a year my bbt shift was a good one and not a slow rise for a change. This chart is very strange my temps are stable but low.

@VenusStarr thank you for checking in and congrats on your good news x no more spotting since Monday and my pregnancy symptoms seems to be getting stronger and not going away at all?! I’ve got my EPU appointment tomorrow morning x I’m adamant I do not want surgical management because we want to give it another go as soon as possible. If I opt for medication, do I take it there and then or can I take it in couple of days so I don’t start miscarrying until Friday when my OH is not working for 3 days? x if it starts naturally before then I can’t do anything about it obviously x

Thank you so much @VenusStarr
Lovely to hear your good news...wishing you all the best x

I'm so sorry for your loss @Waitingforourtime ❤️ I did share after my first loss and there was definitely a vibe of 'when are you going to move on?' from some. And even with my second pregnancy, we told people early because we were so anxious and one person said 'has it been confirmed?' just made me feel shit, so when that pregnancy ended in the same way I felt ashamed that I had failed again. I didn't bother telling many after my third loss as there just wasn't the support, I don't really trust some of the people we told now. But what helped me was last week I saw a fertility coach and she said you've been through lots of trauma and loss over a relatively short time (infertilty then 3 losses), if 3 people had died, no one would be questioning the way you feel, but there's such stigma attached to pregnancy loss, partly because it's not seen. You're definitely not alone with how you feel ❤️ this group has been brilliantly supportive to me xx

Thank you @SomeBunnyovertheRainbow, did you get your bloods done?

How are you today @Katie1109? Hope you're OK xx

Any sign of ovulation @Mumlili9? ❤️

Some unexpected good news today, I've chased up the hospital about our ivf funding - the hospital is still not ready to resume any treatment. But we are able to move the funding, our ccg has selected a new provider and all I had to do was email to request a transfer. It's already been acknowledged and the process to move my care has started 🙏 honestly, I skipped through the house! There's a glimmer of hope on the horizon :)

Hi all, I’m new and have just come across this thread - hoping you all might be able to help me rationalize my thoughts a bit.
TTC for almost 9 months and delighted to get positive HPT a few weeks ago. Unfortunately l lost the pregnancy at 6 weeks along. We’ve both been struggling with things, and not sure how to process everything. We both decided that we didn’t want to keep it a secret from our closest family/friends, and have so far told a close family member. The reaction surprised me, questions of whether or not the pregnancy had been confirmed by a doctor. I know I’m probably not feeling very rational at the moment but I found this upsetting, as if they were questioning if I even had a miscarriage, or it wasn’t a loss because it was so early.
I’m wondering did any of you share an early loss with people close to you? I’m actually sitting here wondering if people think we’re being dramatic to be so upset over our loss...

@VenusStar thank you for the suggestions x I had a miscarriage last August but I was only 6 weeks so it was all over after 2 days of period like bleed, this time I’m sure it will be worse 😭 my OH is likely to be with me, depending on work commitments, but I wouldn’t want him to take time off for it, he doesn’t need to see this 😔

:( @Katie1109 ❤️ I found a heat wrap or hot water bottle really helped and taking ibuprofen and paracetamol every couple of hours (so only 2 hours between painkillers) really helped. I was on my own the first time but dh was there the second time. It definitely helped me having him with me but I think it really affected him being there. I don't think he'd realised after my first miscarriage what I'd been through. Sending you lots of love xx

@marmitecheesetoast thank you x I need as much strength as I can get x
@VenusStar thank you for sharing, I hope I can do this naturally without medical intervention, baby was 7.5mm on the scan 😔

Thank you @Katie1109 I started spotting on the Monday and it got heavier on the Wednesday evening. I miscarried the next morning. Xx

@Katie1109 we posted at the same time so I missed your post earlier, so sorry you’re going through this. Sending strength.

@VenusStar thank you x and I’m sorry about your disappointment, I have just read few posts back x
If you don’t mind me asking, how soon after you started spotting it got heavier? x