Penguin huddle 🐧🐧🐧 TTC after pregnancy loss - Thread 35 - time for some sticky BFP's

Hello ladies how are you all?

I'm according to ff 2dpo. Had mental positive hpt dreams last night and a really good scan too. Plus a rainbow over my house yesterday too. I'm hoping it's all good signs, well I'm going to take it that way.
Really hoping that I can change my luck for the rest of the year with the power of positive thinking. I've been reading up about positive thinking and how eerie it can be some times and when i think back to all my pregnancies i was thinking negatively. The only one i wasnt negative with was the first one. I think either my negative thoughts effect my outcomes or my mind picks up on the loss before i know about the pregnancy. I don't know if this makes any sense but with this last pregnancy as soon as i took the test i had a dread feeling when i saw the second line and said out loud to my DH i think this is another loss and I'm terrified it's ectopic and I'm going to lose my tube. My hubby and my doctor told me to stop worrying and it's in my head. It wasn't that's exactly what happened but how could i know that at 11dpo!! Anyway this cycle I'm going to think positive thoughts and if I'm going to receive a miracle I'm going to be positive about it and try not to think bad thoughts , you never know maybe this time it'll make the difference. Or I might be completely crazy

Thanks @SomeBunnyOvertheRainbow just trying to keep myself distracted until tomorrow afternoon.

Ha, glad it’s not just me who thinks like that. I love my menstrual cup once I got the hang of it, haven’t felt like using it since giving birth though for some reason

Well bam, AF is here. At least I can try out my new period underwear (which I definitely didn’t splash out on in the hope it would tempt fate and mean i didn’t need them )

So another cycle. My cycles are just so long it feels like it takes so long to get to the next chance to try.

PM results for DS tomorrow so have been all over the place the last few days.

@SomeBunnyOvertheRainbow Two years, that must be so hard. I’m so sorry.

I’m sorry you’re struggling too @VenusStarr I can relate. I’ve started avoiding Instagram and Facebook for the same reasons. Sometimes I check and always end up seeing a baby picture and it makes me feel crap.

@SomeBunnyOvertheRainbow I could have written your last post myself with the exception of your little girls passing. I too am terrified to try and terrified not to. Were all just sitting in limbo and hoping for the best preparing for the worst. I have to say I'd be list with out this thread and all you lovely ladies

You are making sense @SomeBunnyovertheRainbow I have thought of that, but I just can't switch off 'knowing' my body, so if I see ewcm I'll automatically think we should dtd and if we don't, I know we'll have missed this chance - if that makes sense? Even when we were using condoms and not ttc, I still hoped that we'd have a happy accident.

When we first got referred to the infertilty clinic that's when we got our first bfp and I thought we were one of those couples that just got lucky but 18 months later we're firmly in the unlucky column. And now I'm scared to get pregnant and miscarry again. But never being pregnant again petrifies me. I just feel like its a constant battle and conflict in my head x

❤️ @Katie1109 I hope you're feeling OK xx

I'm sorry @Mumlili9, I think your timing should be OK but completely understand that feeling, it's shit. I hate that dtd at the right time is there - you just can't switch it off can you :(

Sorry about the bfn @marmitecheesetoast - I saw something a while ago that said it would be much better if our bodies sent us a memo saying that we're not pregnant this month, crack on trying again but not having to test or get af. Sending you love for Monday xx

How lovely with your little quail chicks @Esssa 😍 how many eggs did you have, 19 is a lot already (although I have no idea what's normal!)

I'm struggling a lot, like you @SomeBunnyovertheRainbow I'm trying not to get too absorbed in ttc. Feeling completely deflated after my high in the week. Hasn't been helped by 3 announcements on Instagram this week which now means all my ads are pregnancy and baby related 🙄 Feeling quite low and helpless again. I'm tired of the roller-coaster, part of me can't be bothered to even try this cycle, but I know future me with be cross if we don't try. It's exhausting. Also with ivf on the horizon, I don't want to affect this by getting pregnant and then miscarrying again - I just can't see me having a healthy pregnancy without help. But with no idea when we can start 🤷‍♀️ :(

Ah @Mumlili9 that is frustrating, I’m sorry. I’m sure the swimmers from 2 days ago will be doing their thing, isn’t it the case that actually a few days before ovulation is better anyway as gives them longer to get where they need to be? I’m sure I read that somewhere anyway. I totally can imagine how difficult and frustrating it must be though. It’s hard when it adds more strain to everything

12DPO and another glaringly negative BFN this morning. I already knew it was coming as my temps and cervix have started coming down. So that’s that then. Another cycle, another month in the age gap that shouldn’t be there anyway. TTC after loss is just so much more heart crushing isn’t it.
And now I’ve realised my period is probably going to arrive on the day of the post mortem call. So that’s just fucking wonderful.

@SomeBunnyOvertheRainbow he works nights 13 and 15 hour shifts

Ladies I'm really trying not to be a bitch but DH did not finish again last night and now it probably to late. I really struggling not to show I'm super cross. All the prep all the sacrifice I'm making not eat this, taking that, and it was for nothing. Praying that the dtd we did 2 days ago that his swimmers still had some life in them.
This happens everytime I tell him about ovulation and I have to tell him because of his work hours. I just don't know what to do about this. I've tried every trick in the book if you get what I mean but it's just not happening. Then again maybe I can't blame him as every pregnancy has ended very badly so far. He says he really wants a baby but I'm not a miracle worker

Good Evening ladies x hope you’re all well x
I have used the pessaries today and after about 7 hours of excruciating pain I think I can say my miscarriage is complete (hopefully). I’m still bleeding but pain is now bearable, more like medium period pains x

Sorry I didn't reply yesterday. I've been distracted by the eggs in my incubator hatching. I have 19 teeny fluffy quail so far. Think they are about done and the rest may not hatch.

Fingers crossed for you @Mumlili9 you are doing better than me. After all that oh wasn't forthcoming last night and was not for waking up early this morning. I'm not too worried as the opks are still faint if there at all. Will see what today's says later. Thanks for the specifics on pineapple core. Saves me googling when its for.

Does anyone use asprin and could tell me more about it. Not sure whether to try it this month or not.

Well ladies I'm super excited for this cycle now. First thing this morning still only high on the cbfm, negative opk and feeling that the last 2 nights I've basically brow beat DH into dtd (poor man). Then around 12 I started getting the most horrible sharp pains on my right side and did another test because I'm a crazy poas lady and wham blazing positive. So cd 12 is a fairly good length follicular phase, strong positive opk, pains on the side I have a tube and good dtd timing and trying again tonight. I don't think I can do any more. Pineapple is waiting for me for 1-5 dpo and then on the pessaries and fingers crossed for a shiny bfp.

Thank you for all the support ladies x
I am meant to take pessaries tomorrow, but I have just gone through a first wave of the most horrible cramps I ever felt. It lasted about 20 minutes and now I’m fine but I’m sure there’s plenty more to come x

That’s great news about the funding @VenusStarr lovely to have some positive news.

I’ve been thinking of you @Katie1109

Hello @Esssa I’m sorry you find yourself here

@Mumlili9 hoping you ovulate soon and see the temp shift to confirm. I didn’t ovulate until CD30 this cycle , although it’s my first cycle after the stillbirth.

Thanks for checking in @SomeBunnyovertheRainbow been a low few days. I dropped DD off for her first settle back at nursery yesterday morning which on one hand is great news, but I basically just came home and cried for 2 hours, I didn’t expect to feel so low. I just felt really pointless and without purpose. Not pregnant, not working, not looking after DD. Being on maternity leave without your baby is just so fucked up. Although I am so thankful that I can take this time off work without having the worry of going back too soon.

I couldn’t resist POAS this morning, obviously got a glaringly white BFN, although at 10dpo I know it’s really too early to be testing. Doesn’t stop the sting though.

How are you @SomeBunnyovertheRainbow?
I’ve been thinking of @peperethecat too. Hope everyone is ok xx

@VenusStarr arhhh still no positive opk and no temp rise either looks like its going to be another late one.
@Esssa hello and sorry for your loss. Fx this smep works for you. If I'm not ovulating this time or do but not pregnant this cycle we will be giving this a go next cycle. I personally think it's going to be a bust because DH sometimes has problems with the scheduled sex already but anything is worth a go.

@VenusStarr I have 10, well 9 now to get me through this month. If we need them next month I'll amazon some. Not sure I'll use them every month anyway. If I temp and watch cm I should be OK without, its more that I'm nosy so wanted to try them. I've told oh about the boy sperm are fast and girl sperm have endurance theory and after going through the whole 'I'd be happy with a healthy one' he admitted to secretly wanting a boy. I said he'd best pay attention to the weekend bding then! Anything to keep his focus!

No reason to be concerned yet @Esssa, my tests suddenly get dark, some people's build over a few days. Hopefully you'll get your peak soon. If you've got amazon you can get 30 for less than £5. Glad your dh is on board. I ovulated slightly later last cycle and we'd started dtd from day 4 so it did get a bit tiring and my cycles aren't even long! 😂 I have found that following the plan and both committing to it is less stressful, although it does feel like a chore but we both just found it funny which does help get the job done 😂😂