Penguin huddle 🐧🐧🐧 TTC after pregnancy loss - Thread 35 - time for some sticky BFP's

@venusstarr @SomeBunnyOvertheRainbow

This does make things difficult with ttc

@marmitecheesetoast oh yes he knows as we have fermometer apps together. He asked to link the apos so he could be involved. Dtd only happens if he wants it. He has aspergers so everything is always on his terms. If I tried to even kiss him with out him inviting the kiss he gets cross

@venusstarr tbh not so much this cycle. I'm not doing aspirin or EPO this cycle I wonder if that's why

Oh sausage sandwich and pot of tea sounds like the dream @VenusStarr definitely sounds better than my Sunday morning!

Lovely, I love the scent of lavender. Friends sent us a lavender tree when DS died, I had no idea that you got lavender trees! It’s in pride of place on our new front patio.

Oh @Mumlili9 that sounds incredibly frustrating and difficult I’m sorry. Does he know when fertile window is? Or does he feel like that puts too much pressure on? I must admit we’re pretty bad for only having sex during fertile window atm too.

I’ve sent an email listing all the errors in the PM and asking they correct them as well as feeding back how disappointing and upsetting it is so will see what I hear back.

I'm sorry to hear that @Mumlili9, it can be really hard to get back into things - as soon as ov passes its like we fall out of the habit. Do you tell your dh about the opks? Hopefully you can try over the next day or so.
How are your temps this month? I remember last cycle they were pretty static just before ovulation x

@venusstarr hello I was thinking that too. I'm thinking I'm out this cycle if DH doesn't get in the mood soon. It's been 17 days since we dtd and he just keeps saying he's tired from work. I e tried talking to him but he says he's fine just tired. Doesn't help that I got my high this morning it's like salt in a cut

@marmitecheesetoast so sorry about your PM results and your right that a terrible thing for them to do. You must complain or these things just continue to happen.

I'm on cd9 and got my high on cbfm this morning so I'll see what opks say this after noon

Morning @marmitecheesetoast I always find the first week of the tww manageable and the second I am twitching to test! Hoping the time passes quickly for you :)

The sun is shining here so we're off out for a walk today - very lazy morning so far, had a sausage sandwich and pot of tea. We went to the garden centre yesterday and got some lavender, herbs and new pots.

Hope everyone is OK, it's gone a bit quiet again. Thinking of you @Mumlili9 @SomeBunnyovertheRainbow @FloDaffodil xx

6dpo and beginning to feel myself edging towards the crazy!

How is everyone else?

Happy Sunday

That terrible @marmitecheesetoast, I'm so sorry that the PM report is so inaccurate, that's incredibly distressing for you. I'm sorry there was detail about the cord which wasn't shared previously, that must have been very upsetting. I'm pleased you do have a consultant appointment with a specialist in stillbirth, I hope that does give you some support and can answer your concerns 💙

I'm pleased you're getting specialist counselling too.

Your chart is looking good too ☺️

Hi all

Good to hear you’re excited for the new cycle @VenusStarr and yes I’d like to see a pic too!

@Esssa and @Sakura54 good luck with everything crossed tightly for you both.

That’s great news about the specialist counsellor @VenusStarr hope it’s helpful. I finally got my nhs referral through for a baby loss specialist counsellor through my hospital trust’s rainbow clinic, got my first zoom appointment next week.

Got the formal documention following DS’s PM. The report is peppered with unacceptable errors including referring to a ‘stillborn female’ as opposed to a male, and getting the wrong date of death and date of birth. I’m so annoyed. I’ve drafted a long email listing all the errors asking for them to be corrected.
The other big thing is that the PM call with the consultant said the cause was inconclusive, the pathologist report while still overall inconclusive, is quite suggestive of a cord accident being the cause and notes that the cord was short and hypocoiled so now I feel all over the place again. Got a specialist consultation next month with a more expert consultant in stillbirth so will just have to hang on til then and see if we get any more answers. I’m just terrified of it being something that will happen again in a subsequent pregnancy.

CD21 and I think 5DPO, ovulated a day or two earlier this cycle so hopefully it won’t be such a long one. Still at the managing to be vaguely sane part! I’m pleased with my first bbt chart so far

I'm still around too, but feel the same as @Esssa I will be rooting for you lovely ladies in the background. You deserve to get your rainbows so much after all the hardship.

Lovely for you to come in and say goodbye @Esssa wishing you lots of love ❤️ will be lovely to hear from you again so don't forget us! :) and hopefully we'll all be joining you xx

I'll definitely post a pic @Mumlili9 I think smep is OK as we both have short cycles, I couldn't imagine dh sticking with it if my cycles were 30+ days to be honest. He was knackered when I ovulated late before! :)

Managed to catch up on some sleep - you know when you're that tired you feel drunk?

I forgot to mention, I got an out of the blue email from Petals the baby loss counselling service. I completed a surgery for them about miscarriage aftercare and shared my lack of care. They contacted me and offered me 6 sessions! They're based down south but because of coronavirus, they're about to offer zoom counselling sessions to people further afield. I was so overwhelmed, I feel like having support from a counsellor who is trained in grief and loss following pregnancy loss would be much more helpful than the generic counselling I had last year (which ended up being me educating her on all things ttc 🙄)

Hope everyone is OK xx

Hi everyone, I keep checking in but don't feel quite like I belong here now even though I'm a bit nervy about moving on to the next thread but I'll say my goodbyes and goodlucks and put my big girl pants on.

I'm sorry you are in pain today @VenusStarr hope its eased by now. Good that you have the excitement for the next cycle though. Fingers firmly crossed for all of you.

So sorry to hear about your uncle @marmitecheesetoast. Something similar that happened to my grandad when I was in high school. Devastating doesn't cover it.

@VenusStarr aww sorry your in pain hun. Hope it settles down soon. You should definitely post a pic of your orchid when the flowers are out. I do love orchids but my homes temp fluctuates to much for them to grow for me.
Fx this is our cycle. Were trying smep too this cycle hope we can make it 😳

Hi @Mumlili9 I've been awake since 4 with crippling period pain and cd1 is here. I'm excited as it means we can get started on ttc again. My orchid has 5 little buds on one branch and one is looking very close, its grown a lot🤞

Currently on the sofa with a heat wrap and one of the cats.

How's everyone else @SomeBunnyovertheRainbow @marmitecheesetoast? X

Hello ladies how are you all getting on?

I'm CD 6 but nothing to report.

@Mumlili9 the professor said that due to when the babies stopped growing it suggests to him that my uterus environment wasn't conducive to pregnancy, so supporting my progesterone levels could help. I've only ever had it tested once as part of fertility tests, but never when pregnant. First pregnancy I bled at 6 weeks, second I didn't have any. My post ov temps have been quite low so I am wondering if there is something in it. I just need to get pregnant again. If and when I do I'm going smto see if they'll monitor my levels. Luteal phase is fine, generally 13-15 days.

@marmitecheesetoast that sounds like a nice balance, not too consuming. Cervix checking is the one thing I've never tried.

Spoken with dh today - we've agreed to go for smep next cycle, impatiently waiting for af - should be here by Friday at the latest. It's good feeling hopeful but at the same time it puts pressure on and the fall when it doesn't happen is hideous. I need to try and focus on other things next cycle - I'm liking not being consumed by ttc. Hopefully then we won't need the ivf funding. Found out that the person I spoke with at the ccg sent my personal information to the wrong ccg, ffs 🤬

@VenusStarr @Mumlili9 thanks both. I decided to stay away from OPKs this cycle as got a bit too obsessed and stressed with them previous cycle and I’m terrible at holding my wee. Also I was worried about being dehydrated when it was so hot in the fertile period so wanted to be drinking plenty for good quality Cm (so many things to consider! 🤪) so decided opks not really worth it. Just tracking Cm, cervix position and temps this cycle. Hopefully will see another rise tomorrow. Temps and charting all very new to me.

@Mumlili9 I’m sorry to hear about your uncle. So much sadness in the world.
Are you not able to have even a phone appt with your GP at all? It is so frustrating that everything is on hold, I’m sorry.

@VenusStarr that sounds really frustrating. Keep chasing, I hope you get somewhere soon with it.

I’ve got my appt through today for a ‘pre-conception’ appointment with a leading stillbirth professor. It’s not until August which of course isn’t really far away but his secretary had previously suggested she could squeeze me in sooner as we were actively ttc.

@marmitecheesetoast I'm so sorry about your uncle. My uncle died the same way a couple of years ago. He had a really great life though.

As for the ovary thing I'm starting to wonder if my right one has done that too. But apparently according to Google it's normal ovary behaviour. The temp spike does look a good one hun fx it stays up and this is your time hun , do you use opks?

@VenusStarr do you take the cyclogest because your progesterone is low or short luteal phase.
My luteal phase was really long this cycle and I wasnt using mine at all. Let's hope you fall naturally and have a perfectly healthy pregnancy. Anything is possible so people keep telling me.

As for me in now cd4 and AF was yet another disappointment, extremely light and painful but short just 2 days. I wonder if my lining isn't getting thick enough for implantation. Thanks to covid I can't even ask my gp about it , I really need the NHS to start do other treatments as well now. I know it's not life threatening but time is slipping by with no one to help or do scans or anything. I'm so frustrated.

Oh @marmitecheesetoast I am so sorry to hear about your uncle ❤️

Fingers crossed that FF will confirm ovulation in a couple of days 🤞

I'm expecting af in the next couple of days. Been chasing the hospital to sort our transfer to the ivf clinic - I'm close to giving up and self-funding. I think we'll give the cyclogest a couple of cycles (dh will be happy, smep again 😉) then in September start ivf, whether it's using our nhs funding or just doing it on our own.

I’m sorry @Mumlili9 that sounds really tough. It’s all fucking tough.

As well as due date this weekend we got some very sad news about my uncle who I’m quite close to. His chemo has been stopped as nothing further they can do and we’ve been told he hasn’t got long. Just devastating. So yeah it’s been a fairly low few days. Just can’t believe what a shit show 2020 has been thus far.

In other news I had some ovulation pains yesterday evening and a bit of a temp increase this morning, this is my first month charting with bbt but thinking I ovulated last night probably?
We’ve given it a bloody good go this cycle, so much sex despite everything else going on.

Weirdly, I’ve always had ovulation pain and it’s always been alternate one side then the other like clockwork each cycle but for the first time ever I’ve had the pain on the left side two cycles in a row. I hope my right ovary isn’t giving up on me

I would find that really tough @Mumlili9. I'd really struggle if my dh said we had no other options than ttc naturally and then didn't engage in actively doing everything we could.
Just to say about amh - I've researched this a lot and it's not related to egg quality. It is more for clinics to see how you'll respond to ivf meds. It reassured me a lot that it isn't really an indicator of whether I can concieve or how many chances I have left.
Sending you lots of love x

How are you doing @SomeBunnyovertheRainbow 💕

Hope you're doing OK @marmitecheesetoast

@Esssa @Sakura54 thinking of you both

Have a good day all xx

@marmitecheesetoast sending you a virtual hand hold. Due dates are so sad arnt they. Fx your rainbow is on the way

@VenusStarr wish we could hun. I don't qualify for ivf on the NHS so every opportunity has to made the best of. My Amy is low so I feel taking time off might mean we miss a good egg. I'm not sure how many more cycles I'll have. Also DH is 9 years older than me and I'm 39 in September so time is tight. DH is also catholic so iui and ivf are off the cards anyway. I feel I'm against the clock.
I wish I could learn to be more chill about it but the ticking just seems to be getting louder and louder