Penguin huddle 🐧🐧🐧 TTC after pregnancy loss - Thread 35 - time for some sticky BFP's

Epu open at 8.30 so I think I'm going to ring them. The anxiety of it all is driving me crazy. No more blood except a bit of brown when I had to poop but I expected that. I still feel sore and can't get comfortable so may play the up a little if the anxiety doesn't get me seen. Even then there's no guarantee it'd be today.

I'm glad you've managed to get a scan @Esssa I'll be thinking of you 💜

@Esssa I'm so sorry to hear you're going through this. I bled pretty much continuously with my last pregnancy from 12 weeks. It's a major worry. Every time I went in, they couldn't see a cause but unless you're soaking through two pads an hour it's not really considered that heavy. Other ladies in my group had fibroids which also caused bleeding, again nothing too serious. Fingers crossed for you x

Managed to book one for Monday evening. Should be 10 weeks then. They only do abdominal and I'm fat so I hope they can see well enough. Otherwise I'll be back to pestering epu I guess. Fingers crossed the bleeding stays gone as it seems to have stopped for now. The remnants of the bleed have turned brown then nearly gone altogether. My stomach is uncomfortable though, I'm just not sure if its normal uncomfortable or bad uncomfortable. Is it 3/4 of bleeds in pregnancy are nothing to worry about? Seems a big chunk that are when we fell in the 1% with mmc last time.

I understand that @Esssa, maybe you could get a GP appointment on Monday, I know they can sometimes book epu scans.

With my first I went to A+E and they referred me to the epu. I hope it's nothing sinister, keep talking here if it helps xx

Thank you ladies I'm just so frustrated and upset. If I at least knew what was going on I could start to deal with it. Thought I'd found a slot for tomorrow at window to the womb but it had gone when I went to book it so nothing until mid next week now. Think I will have to talk to epu again but it feels like tempting fate to lie and say its worse.

Hi @Esssa, I know we haven't spoken on this yet, but I'm so sorry to hear this, what a worry considering what you've been through. I'm with @VenusStarr on this one, I'd be tempted to phone and say it's heavier. Several weeks is far too long to wait for peace of mind. Thinking of you ❤️ xx

Oh @Esssa I am so sorry you're going through this worry ❤️ is it possible to get a private scan? If not, I'd be tempted to say that the bleeding is heavier. I don't think waiting over 3 weeks will be good for your mental health.
We're here, you're not alone xxxx ❤️

Sorry I haven't caught up with all your news but I don't know where else to post as I've not got into a pregnancy thread yet as I don't feel ready for them. Like I don't belong until I get past that first trimester. Im 9+5 today but not sure I'll get to double figures.

I have a feeling I will be back here with you soon. Hopefully I'm wrong but I'm not too good at hopeful anymore. 4 pregnancies so far and nothing but grief to show for it, that and getting fatter.

Sorry for the tmi that follows. About 10.30 this morning I went to the loo to find I was bleeding. You know that 'I'm just coming on' red and cover the tissue type? I'm wearing a pad and theres nothing on it yet but I'm not moving about much. Still there when I wipe though. Nothing major cramp wise but slightly uncomfortable so far. I've rung epu but unless I'm bleeding heavily or in pain they can't see me because of covid. The nurse on the phone seemed very apologetic. I explained this was the week my baby died last time and it wasn't picked up until my 12 week scan. She basically said if the bleeding tails off I have to wait for that routine scan anyway to see what is going on.

Not sure why I'm posting but I'm just so upset with it all. Wondering why I thought my body could do this right in the first place, it never has in the past.

Aw, glad you got 2 bunnies @AliceinBunnyland 🥰

Thank you @KerryW87 they didn't say much about discomfort, but the nurse did mention me having mood swings on the meds, which dh can't wait for! 😂
I'm luckily working from home and dh is on furlough until October, so timing wise for the ivf it's really good as he'll be with me to take me to appointments and I've asked him to do my injections - I'm just not sure I can do it.
It's really hard to not think about what cycle day it is and whether our bodies are doing what we think they should xx

Orchid update, I've got 3 flowers now and another 2 buds ready to pop! They're giving me a lot of pleasure :)

I hope you're ok @VenusStarr

I got two baby girl bunnies from pets @ home yesterday. They sometimes get unwanted rabbits, usually older, so I've been calling the local stores in search of a girl for my boy. They had two baby girls and they seem perfect for us. We have the advantage of rehoming the unwanted buns (which brings with it help with it help with vet bills to get them spayed and vaccinated) but they are also babies which is a bonus so we are both a bit loved up with the bunnies.

I'm so glad it's the weekend as I can barely concentrate on work!

@VenusStarr I did, we have two in service days to get organised but I cleaned and tidied the whole house yesterday and sorted out work clothes etc for Monday and did a shop, so looking forward to a wee chill weekend now :)

Ahh really? That's a shame :/ I hope it isn't much more uncomfortable if/when you start on IVF, did they say it could be quite painful? Definitely, can understand that and you never know...I'll keep my fingers crossed that this could be your cycle! 💕🤞

Absolutely don't be hard on yourself, you're getting up and working in spite of everything you've got going on and that's to be applauded, just do however much you can and be good to yourself ❤️ Saw in your post you're with the NHS, have you been working from home at all the past while or have you been in?

My lochia stopped a few days ago, feeling silly to think maybe I'll ovulate this cycle so trying to get it out of my head...hard to, though! x

That's beautiful @KerryW87 💕 I agree with Alice, spend a bit of time preparing but spend the rest of the time chilling :)

@Mumlili9 sorry you're thinking of stopping, I'm with the nhs and by no means would I say carry on ttc regardless, but I wouldn't worry too much about the probation period. But if you waited until that period was up, you'd be entitled to paid maternity leave. Equally, it doesn't sound like you've come to that decision lightly and if stopping is the right thing for you right now, then that's the right thing 🌟 I'm so pleased you're leaving your current job and your horrible boss ❤️ any idea of your start date?

@AliceinBunnyland How's things with you? I saw you're looking for a rescue bunny, have you been to look yet? Sending you lots of love

Hope you're well @Kiki275

I've been so uncomfortable - think I ovulated yesterday and we have ttc. Making me a bit worried when we actually start and I have a few more eggs due to the drugs (they said they would think I'd get 6-8 eggs on the ivf cycle). I could barely bend over and if I'm that bad with an egg on each ovary, what will I be like with more! I just want to feel like we've definitely given ourselves a chance before going down the ivf route.

I'm really struggling with motivation at work at the moment, only really doing the minimum but trying not to be hard on myself for that.

Have a good day everyone xx

That's so true, @Mumlili9 💕💕

My friend sent me this little peg doll in the post yesterday and this card came with it and thought it was very apt for us too xxx

Cam across this today and thought of us all xXx

@KerryW87 I would probably set aside one day to get organised, maybe today / tomorrow (depending on what you need to do!) and then you can have a proper weekend without having to worry about anything

@AliceinBunnyland You're so right. Was saying to my partner last night that maybe we'll fall pregnant again and we'll be looking back on this time thinking how sad it was, but how much happier things are. Got to hope, don't you? 🤞💕

Hope you're good today? Three days until I'm back to work after a mammoth 4 months off with lockdown! Feeling torn between getting really organised before going back....or just having a chilled day since it's the last few days off 😂

Sorry I repeated myself there and didn't mean to! I typed something, thought it had disappeared and then typed some moren

I always say we really don't know what the future holds and it's true. Most of us here have experienced some shitty things that we wouldn't have ever expected but great things can happen too 💕

@AliceinBunnyland @Mumlili9 It's awful that any woman would have to think like that, but I can see what you mean now with the limited rights during the first year. That's just so rough :(

I'm with Alice though...you never know! Keeping everything crossed for you 🤞

I don't think they can discriminate officially but we have v limited employment rights within the first 2 years of employment, more so in the first year, and an employer can easily sack someone without giving a real reason.

@Mumlili9 Fingers crossed for you this cycle. You never know! You shouldn't have to choose between your job and being a mum but I know the reality is we have v limited employment rights within the first 1-2 years so I hope you and your OH can come to a decision that works for you 💗

@Mumlili9 Oh, what a sad decision to have to make! :( I so feel for you. I do completely understanding your thinking but also, like @Kiki275 said, surely they can't discriminate?

@Mumlili9 surely they can't discriminate against pregnancy related issues? Or would they find another excuse?x

Aww ladies my heart is breaking for you 💔. I have only ever made it to 12 weeks a few times and I found that so hard to cope with.

@VenusStarr fx this cycle works hun x

As for me if in 6 days time its a bfn were going to take a bit of a break and maybe call it a day. It would be really bad to fall pregnant during the probation period of my new job not to mention going off sick in the first month there because of yet another miscarriage or even worse another ectopic. Baby dust to you all

@Kiki275 Ah I'm glad you're feeling right to try again now, and yeah, definitely a safer time now that restrictions are easing! The hospital had only just eased restrictions the week before I lost our boy, so I'm so glad my partner was able to be in with me through induction and labour. Can't imagine doing all that alone! Good to know that all going well for you, he'll be able to come in for scans etc too :) x

@KerryW87 actively trying now. We'd had several bleeds so I was awaiting a smear & results before trying again. It does feel right now too, especially with the Covid situation easing a little. The twins pregnancy wasn't easy from 12wks and I can't imagine doing that again without DH being able to be with me in the hospital etc. He was even allowed in the operating theatre for the TTTS surgery and there for all of my induction etc x