Catching up - ttc after miscarriage part 3

Feeling really fed up. I usually get my peak OPKs day 13/14. I'm now on cd 15 and nothing. I looked at dr google and I think I've either stopped or delayed ovulation by taking strong painkillers for a strained neck. I've stopped the tablets straight away but think it may be too late. Add this to the fact my OH is now on strong nerve tablets for his back which are knocking him out and affecting his performance I'm so frustrated that this is never going to happen x

@Ejb86 try to wait til tomorrow at least 😁😁
8dpo is when implantation occurs normally so tomorrow or day after should be better...

Thanks ladies for your support. Honestly after yesterday bfn i got over it and roll on cycle 7.
My grandma isn't doing good so i am actually about to embark on a road trip to France to see her 😅 and then will also be staying there with my family for a month (DP coming too). we are leaving on friday and it wasn't planned so all the logistics and packing is keeping me busy 🙃 no time to feel sorry for myself anymore!
Also (kinda feel guilty to admit) relieved to get a break living with the in laws and the mess for a while 😋

Thanks @Fizzl I cried a lot yesterday but feeling a little better today, just hoping for AF so I can move on to cycle 6 post MC ☹️

Can I join the pact for a March 21 baby? 😂

8dpo and the itch to POAS is real!

@Mococo1 you're right it is very much out of our control 😒 I hope your scan goes well and you get some reassurances.

@SunnySideUp2020 sorry it was a bfn. There is time yet but I know how you feel as I would also not be expecting a positive now and preparing to move on to the next cycle 💐

@Nuggetlover27 yeah I'm feeling better today thanks. No tears at least 😂. Ah my poor dog is always being cuddled much to her disgust. She's a proper lap dog and loves to be with you but it has to be on her terms and she looks at me with utter despair and disgust when I pick her up and cuddle her 😂. I think it's natural to worry after what we've been through. But I'm a huge worrier anyway. Sorry it's a bfn for you too. Apparently there's lots of reasons your period can be late. Hopefully you won't get stuck in a mammoth cycle like me 😔

@Leok83 yes definitely going to ask next week. They told me to wait another 2-3months and that was 3 weeks ago 😒. But yes I've officially missed 2 periods now and still no ovulation. I think my patience is starting to wear thin. I want to ring them and tell them it's having a negative effect on my mental health but then I'm pretty sure they'll just say that's the problem and I need to relax etc etc. I hope they see that the root cause of how I'm feeling is my body not working and try to fix that rather than trying to fix the side effects of that by telling me to relax 🙄 I also think I'll get fobbed off again as it's not been 2-3months but I don't think I can carry on in this limbo.

Sorry you're also finding it tough at the minute. Underlying sadness is exactly how I'd describe it! No matter what I'm doing or how I try to distract myself there's still just this wave of sadness which comes back. Enjoy your days off and hopefully you'll be feeling a little more positive and hopeful once fw arrives as it least then you feel like your being proactive 😉

@Semele5069 it definitely sticks all the excite and joy out of it. I want to be blissfully naive again😔

@Em39ma my bleeding stopped a few days after surgery and then came back with a vengeance about 10days later. I panicked and rang epu. They told me all normal for bleeding to start and stop but if I had any pain, got a temp or unusual discharge to get seen as it could mean there's an infection. It might be worth contacting them just for your own peace of mind but hopefully it's nothing to worry about.

Did any of you have a MVA. I had mine on Tuesday, I haven’t bleed since that evening suddenly start bleeding again today and my stomach has swelled up like a balloon. Did anyone else do this or do I give the EPAU a call.

I thought I was finding it easier not to obsess about getting pregnant this month but then realised it's because I no longer feel excited about it at all. It just doesn't feel likely that it will happen.

In a way its helpful. We're still doing all the right things but it's taken more of a back seat in mind. I had a horrible couple of months there after the second MC where I felt obsessed! Like, I was checking my app multiple times a day to see when I would realistically be able to test, even though I knew it already!

Done my test and got a BFN. 😭😭
Probably my fault for being so worried about if it was a positive.
Just want AF to arrive now. Why am I late if I'm not pregnant. What a cruel cruel trick Mother Nature 😭

Morning everyone.

@SunnySideUp2020 sorry it's a BFN. It gets even harder the longer it goes on even though you're expecting it now. Hopefully it's just because it's early days but I know what you mean about just not feeling it.

@Mococo1 I'm so sorry the pregnancy was not viable. That is so hard on you. Hopefully the bleeding starts soon for you to try again.

@Em39ma sorry for your loss and welcome. x

@Fizzl are you going to ask at the centre on Tuesday about a scan? I know I'd be going out of my mind by now if I were you needing answers as to why everything decided to pause. How long again did your gp actually expect you to wait for AF? Because surely you are coming up to a second missed one now which would definitely warrant investigation. They could give you clomid to kick start ovulation, i would just ring and demand some clomid by now actually. You are being way more understanding and level headed about it than I could ever be and I can imagine how much stress you are under with it all.xx

@Nuggetlover27 did you test yet?

I'm feeling you all on this losing yourself in TTC. I've literally felt so down the last few days since AF arrived..just an underlying sadness I can't shake. And just feeling how unfair it is to have had all our hopes ripped away by cruel MC and the least we deserve after it is to fall again easily but the world can't even give us that. I'm generally trying to be positive by second day of AF for new cycle but just stuck in a slump now. DH has actually taken to manually moving my face into a smile because it's been so rare to see me smile over the last while. I just feel like it's all on top of me and I think @Annny27 you hit the nail on the head with the feeling of just wanting to hibernate and come out when you are pregnant.

Anyways my rant is over, I'm off for the next few days and going to will this positivity out of me if it's the last thing I do!!

@Ejb86 @ELM7 @scrumdiddly123 fingers crossed for your TWW! One of us has to get a BFP eventually so hopefully it will be all 3 of you!!

Morning ladies

Sorry for my late reply
@Fizzl sorry that it is all getting to you. Are you feeling any better now? I hope that this week is a better one for you. ❤️ Give your fur baby a big cuddle, I find that helps (when my cat will let me 😂) I'm glad your husband is there for you to help you through it. I think the "relax and not think about it" advise from anyone is so frustrating, don't they understand we can't forget about it even when we try ? I understand where you're coming from about missing the old you. TTC took over me every month and now I'm late I've got to the point where I'm so scared to test because I feel sick with worry about having another MC. It's the control freak in me.

@scrumdiddly123 still no obvious symptoms for me. I'm going to test today. I'm so nervous!

@Em39ma sorry to find you here 💐

@Ejb86 your little boy sounds so cute! I hope he is right!

@Annny27 yepp. Now officially late. I know what you mean about TTC completely taking over. I would find myself not doing things each month incase I was pregnant. It's so draining. I hope you're feeling better today? ❤️

@Fizzl @Annny27 sending hugs ladies 💕💕
It is definitely not easy... but our poor DPs just don't know what to say anymore..

@Mococo1 hope your scan gives you answer x

10 dpo here and tested with fmu but bfn.
And my first reaction was "yeah ofc, what would it be any different than the past 5 months" 😒😒

I know it's early but i also know i am not pregnant... so Anny i will be with you for month 7.

Hope the other ladies are doing well 😘

@annny27 I will be going in on Monday for a scan to rule anything else out..I still haven't had AF come through but I want it to come so bad so I can start ttc again. I'm going to ask for further checks as something must be wrong - it's my second loss in the space of 3months (and I can't help but think something is really wrong and docs said they wanted to scan as well so..) DH is looking into private tests as don't think we can stand another loss so if that means waiting for a few months before ttc again it's what we've gta do 😑

@fizzl I'm sorry you are feeling so stressed out I can imagine ttc taking over your whole life but I think we just need to realise some things really are out of control! Don't lose yourself in the process hun, hope things look up for you 🥰🥰 x

@Annny27 no nothing 😞. Had another cry about it all today. My husband is so laid back. He just keeps trying to reassure me that we will get there and it'll happen eventually. I did lose it a bit and point out that it wasn't scientifically possible whilst I'm not ovulating to get pregnant. I then told him that I wanted not to care and to go back to being chilled and laid back like we were last year ttc but I can't because of what's happened. Then he's suggested we leave it a few months and try and forget about trying for now because it's not worth me getting so down and upset about it 😞. I told him that wasn't the answer but I think he doesn't really know what else to suggest right now because the reality is it's just shit.

I totally get you about feeling like your losing yourself. I feel like I'm a shell of myself too and I miss my old life before the miscarriage. That doesn't mean I don't want a baby, I just don't want all this stress and worry and feeling like I can't enjoy my life. I know this just all feels a bit heightened at the minute because of covid but I miss just not caring about where I was in my cycle, how many glasses of wine I drank, drinking coffee and eating what I wanted without thinking 'will it increase my risk of another miscarriage'. It's all totally irrational but I just can't go back to being carefree. I even brought nail polish the other day which is non-toxic and fertility friendly. I mean, seriously 🤦🏼‍♀️ maybe the GP was right about me being stressed but I feel this lack of cycle is what's making me more stressed and anxious about it all.

Sorry that was really long and depressing too but I get you 💐

@scrumdiddly123 honestly I wasn't listening to the lady on the phone I just zoned out completely after she said it's bad news so can't remember the figure- my test this morning I took was very very faint in comparison to last week so hoping the HCG cleared soon. It took six weeks for my period to come back after previous miscarriage @6.5weeks but hoping since this one is early I can possibly just start ttc straight away. Unfortunately I haven't even started to bleed yet so need AF to come first

Wish I knew what the problem was ☹️ seems horrible to have all this bad luck x

@scrumdiddly123 he will be 2 and a half tomorrow. He'd absolutely love to be a big brother to a rainbow baby. He knows about his sisters though and talks about them too.

Ah @Ejb86 how cute! How old is he? I definitely think kids have a 6th sense about things like this. Fingers crossed he’s right 🤞🏻🤞🏻

*2ww

Welcome to the 2wwe @scrumdiddly123 6dpo here and my little boy told me I have a baby in my tummy. I so hope he's right!

Morning!
Sorry for your loss @Em39ma, fingers crossed you fall quickly again!
I definitely ovulated yesterday so 1dpo today, going to try really hard not to symptom spot and obsess during this 2WW!

I found out I had had a second miscarriage on Saturday, on Tuesday had surgery to remove.
Hoping to start TTC again after first AF.
I fell for my daughter just 3 months after my first, so hopefully we can fall quickly again.

Haha @Annny27 I’m definitely in for that pact too! Wouldn’t that be amazing if we all fell at once 😀
Sorry you’re still stuck in limbo @Fizzl! I would be going out of my mind by now 😖 really hope something changes for you soon x
@ELM7 looks like I’ll be a couple of days behind you then! It really does only take one time so you never know 🤞🏻
When will you test @Nuggetlover27? Any symptoms?

So sorry @Mococo1 😞 my last MC was a pregnancy of unknown location with slow rising HCG. Unfortunately it took a good 6 weeks for the HCG to clear my system so I could carry on TTC. What were your levels? Hope you’re ok, it’s so tough I know. I had three miscarriages in quite quick succession and obviously still trying now. Just got to stay hopeful that it won’t happen again x

@Mococo1 sorry your having a tough time at the minute, life is cruel. Of course you are welcome here though. I don't have any tips I'm afraid sorry! I think it's very much pot luck most of the time. Which isn't very helpful if your a control freak like me!

@Nuggetlover27 thanks - it's rubbish! It's really starting to get to me I think. I've noticed I'm quite irritable and my poor husband is probably getting the brunt of it. I also nearly lost the plot with the dog last night because she was walking around on our wooden floor (I mean, how dare she 🙄). It would never normally bother me but I could feel myself getting irrationally annoyed with her and wanted her just to sit down! I obviously didn't lose the plot with her (because she is my substitute child and is very much loved and doted on😂) but it made me realise how irritable I'm being over really small things. I also just feel quite miserable and teary. Works been an absolute disaster this week too and I will be working well into the weekend which has also narked me!

Anyway.. happy weekend everyone 😆 bring on the wine I think! (After doing another pregnancy test just to be 100000% certain, of course 😑)

Hey all!

@Leok83 ah okay thanks for explaining that. I'm not 100% sure what my LP is for this month as I never got a peak on an OPK.

@scrumdiddly123 looks like you're nearly at your peak! 🤞🏻
I'm close to testing. Is it bad that as it gets closer and the chances of success get higher I get more scared. I'm so scared I will have another MC if I do succeed 😢

@Fizzl it must be so frustrating what you're going through. I'm sorry there's nothing any of us can do !

@Mococo1 so sorry 💜