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Conception

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Starting TTC again after missed miscarriage

993 replies

Smilingdonkey · 15/05/2020 20:02

Hi,
Just ovulated for the first time after my missed miscarriage at 13 weeks (baby had stopped growing at 6-7) and wondered if anyone wanted to keep me company while we go through the ups and downs of ttc all over again! ! Xx

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Smilingdonkey · 01/07/2020 08:00

@starfish762 I'm sorry your cycle is messed up. My first one was like that - 6 weeks of craziness. I guess our bodies went through a lot. 🤞 It's resets itself soon. It's so frustrating.
@workingmama1 I am only really starting to get clear lines on an IC now. It was FRER that gave me the first squinter ... Forgive me for sounding stupid but what's a femometer?! Xxxx

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Poppy10121 · 01/07/2020 07:56

@JoJo58995 I was also on the pill for a lonnng time (15+ years) and only came off last year, apart from being worried that it’s f*d up my body’s natural hormones I’m, like you, quite unfamiliar with my natural cycle and signs of ovulation/PMT/etc. I hope that your cycle comes back soon, how long now since your MVA?

@Starfish762 I’ve read that the flashing smiley is because one type of hormone is detected and you only get static when it’s your LH surge - it’s possible you’ve missed the LH surge if only testing once a day? I never had any luck with those smiley tests, the month I got pregnant before I never saw a smiley face at all!

Workingmama1 · 01/07/2020 07:47

Took a test (well 2!) this morning at 12 dpo and two BFN on a femometer and one step. Not surprised so preparing for AF to show her face later this week.

JoJo58995 · 01/07/2020 07:07

@ew1990 do you have any other symptoms? Is there any chance that could be a new pregnancy or is definitely old hormones?

Starfish762 · 01/07/2020 06:47

Morning all, hope everyone’s doing okay today. Another slow week! CD20 today & the 6th day of flashing smiley, and randomly spotting. I’m so confused & have lost all hope of TTC this month, my body is clearly still messed up off the MVA.

JoJo58995 · 30/06/2020 21:59

@Workingmama1 I'm with you with the not knowing what's normal....I was on the pill for 13 years before all of this happened so have no idea about what is 'normal'.
I do think its cruel that we can have nausea, cramps, funny tastes, dizziness....and it all just be PMS. One of my friends told me today that she had the same symptoms every month for years while she was ttc and I feel so disheartened, because even though I've tried to remind myself that it almost certainly won't lead to a bfp this month, every time you get a new symptom you can't help but think 'oooh maybe....' I'm trying so hard just to look forwards but I do feel a bit resentful that if the doctors had listened to me I could have had an MVA months earlier rather than just being left in limbo after the failed medical treatment, so I now feel like I'm 4 months post MMC still with no idea of my cycles or normal symptoms as I'm waiting for my first AF post MVA, when I could have had a few months of learning what to expect each month! But I know in the scheme of things it's really not very long so I just need to let that go and move forwards.
@Chatbash72 I'm so sorry to hear that you've had all those symptoms and then AF has turned up, fingers crossed that next month is your month....🤞🤞
@Poppy10121 I'm keeping everything crossed for you that they are implantation cramps.
Sending positive vibes to everyone 🥰

ew1990 · 30/06/2020 20:06

Hiya ladies.

Not checked in for a while. Hope everyones ok. Still no AF for me but only 4 and a Bit weeks since start of MMC.

Ive just randomly took a test and I'm sure I can see the squintiest of squinters 😩

Poppy10121 · 30/06/2020 19:38

I‘ve just started getting cramps this evening - at first thought it was indigestion because I ate a lot Grin but definitely cramps - so I think this means AF is on the way for me, still crossing fingers it could be implantation but seems too early Sad

Chatbash72 · 30/06/2020 19:10

@PurplePansy05 yes I have and I follow her on Instagram, she is such a wonderful lady, very holistic and wise words xx

sabtom · 30/06/2020 18:44

Hi everyone! Never thought I'd say this but I'm so happy to get a negative hcg test today 21 days after my MVA. I've been temping and doing opks but couldn't really tell if or when I ovulated, so just gunna hold off DTD till AF arrives and start fresh after that. Spoke to the fertility doc too and we said said we're gunna give it a try naturally for 2 cycles and if no luck gunna try IUI then move on to IVF if still no luck.

Smilingdonkey · 30/06/2020 17:57

@chatbash sorry AF arrived! Bloody PMS symptoms 😩😩
@skyblue20 ... I'm not sure I'm keen on constant red face but it's weirdly reassuring that something is happening xxx

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PurplePansy05 · 30/06/2020 16:07

@Chatbash72 No, have you? I've just looked it up, saw some very positive reviews.

@Workingmama1 Thank you Flowers He probably didn't mean it like that, I guess it's difficult to weigh it up on the phone, maybe if I spoke to him face to face he'd come across different. Anyway, I'm not convinced this is the right clinic for me, if I'm going to be spending tonnes of money, I'd like to feel comfortable and have faith in people looking after me. Might mean travelling all the way to Coventry for some tests, never straightforward 😔

@Sakura54 Flowers I hope your pregnancy is progressing well & that you're feeling ok in yourself. I know you're very strong, grounded and realistic, but if it gets too much, do shout. Pregnancy after loss is a very different experience to how it feels pre-loss, you don't always have to be a hero.

Chatbash72 · 30/06/2020 15:34

@PurplePansy05 have you read Emma cannon fertile? She's on insta..

Workingmama1 · 30/06/2020 15:17

Ouch @purplepansy05 that surgeon was not tactful or sympathetic to the journey you have been on at all! I hope he is better at the medical side of things than his bedside manner. You're right that people often forget about the person at the centre of a miscarriage, I have to admit that before I had one I thought they were just a sad thing, I had no idea of how they crush your hopes and dreams and how devastating they can be, let alone the physical trauma your body has to go through 😪 p.s. glad you are still around 😊

@Chatbash72 sorry AF arrived, especially after some promising signs. Its so cruel that the signs of AF being imminent and early pregnancy are so similar.

@SkyBlue20 I'm with you not loving work today, had a week off and our strategy has completely changed and I'm left to pick up the pieces! And get stuff sorted for a campaign that didn't exist 10 days ago and is launching in two weeks! But on the plus side now my daughter is at nursery so I can do a full days work (and went in without tears whoop!) I have reinstated my 9 day fortnight so I have Friday off!

PurplePansy05 · 30/06/2020 14:49

I've moved on. I'm having a terrible day today tbh, spoke to a private consultant who completely dismissed my concerns. He said what I've been through at such a young age is "unusal" and "extreme", which was a kind opening, but then he said "oh, but you're so young, I'd bet money that your fourth pregnancy will be successful" and "we can do all the tests you want, but you're probably completely fine". Well, thanks for that. I've had enough of being dismissed by the NHS, he's leading the NHS unit not far from where I live and clearly has the same dismissive attitude in his private practice. He started telling me how he sees patients who had 8,9 or even 19 MCs. No better way of making me feel shit since I clearly have "only" had 3, so why worry.

I just feel there's nowhere to turn to anymore and no one sees the woman, the human being, at the centre of this. Everyone operates on the assumption we're some sort of machines, didn't work out once, thrice, whatever, just keep going. Sacrifice yourself, your MH, your job prospects, your holidays, your money, everything, who cares. Who needs answers when you can just lose yourself and have a baby one day.

I'm so upset. I sacrificed so much to be where I am now and to be a good mum, to be ready, to be someone my children can be proud of, to give them security and life served me a huge slap right in the face. Maybe it's a sign I should just leave it and it's not meant to be for me. I'm just sat here sobbing, waiting for my con call, fgs.

Chatbash72 · 30/06/2020 14:27

@Smilingdonkey no offence taken by anything.. I did get what @Ranoutofgoodnames was originally talking about.. 💕💕

SkyBlue20 · 30/06/2020 13:59

@Chatbash72 Sorry AF arrived, next month is a brand new, fresh start and I'm crossing my fingers it's the one for you 💕

@SmilingDonkey I had huge bright red patches around my mouth in my last pregnancy, they were near impossible to cover up with makeup and lasted until after my MVA, so could well be a pregnancy symptom! It's something to do with hormone surges, I believe (isn't it always!)

I am SO BORED with work today, such boring tasks to do. Got a friend coming round for a drink in the garden this evening though so that's something to look forward to, just four hours to go... 😫

Smilingdonkey · 30/06/2020 13:49

I just want to apologise if I have upset anyone else too. I reacted (wrongly) in irritation in my last post and I don't want @purplepansy5 to go at all. I hope she stays. I just want everybody (myself included!) to accept we all feel differently and have had different experiences but all of us are hurting in some way. I feel very attached to you all 😊 Can we move past it #purplepansy05? xxx

On another note entirely ... My face has gone bright red - I mean neon red! ... Apparently a symptom?! 😩

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Chatbash72 · 30/06/2020 11:49

I needed a decaf coffee and a sit down to catch up with everything.. blimey you miss a couple of days and it all gets a bit fraught..
I was admitted with HG for my daughter and I've found myself wishing for nausea..
I'm out this month af arrived last night.. I was in a blissful bubble from 14 past my last possible ov day.. I've had nose lick a blood hound, sore boobs and nipples.. nausea.. spotting but once a day... had convinced myself it was implantation spotting.. chatting to my belly and little bean.. ( 🙄 I know crazy lady) but not to be..
I will put my 2 pennyworth in and say this is a very lovely and supportive group and have never found any posts upsetting.. l love the honesty. But we are all very emotional ( bloody hormones) and have diff experiences.. love to you all and loving the positive preg vibes..
💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💫💫💫💫

Sakura54 · 30/06/2020 11:44

@PurplePansy05 I don’t want you or anyone to feel like they need to leave. We’ve all gone through a nightmare, you more so than us, so I can see why you’re offended and yes talking about terminations on a MC thread isn’t the best idea. @Ranoutofgoodnames is in the midst of a possible MC so I think she’s just trying her best to keep positive and didn’t think or mean to cause anyone harm. If you leave then I really hope they will find out if anything is wrong and that you catch quickly and go on to have your rainbow. I, for one, would like to see an update from you.

Guys, all these symptoms sound promising. When I suddenly got lightheaded that day and had an ache when I moved, I knew there was a high chance of a BFP. Then once I got my usual pregnancy cramps, I was certain. You don't normally get weird symptoms like nausea, weird taste and aches unless you're pregnant right!? Lol. I've never symptom spotted and don't usually get any symptoms apart from cramps until I'm 6 weeks so maybe our recent pregnancy has made our bodies more sensitive? I could be chatting crap but I'm certain we're going to get some more good news.

As for my symptoms, got woken up by horrible cramps last night. The last time I had that pain was when I had just found out about the MMC. I've had this pain before during AF, pregnancy AND MC so it could mean anything, which is annoying.

SkyBlue20 · 30/06/2020 11:30

@workingmama1 I also Googled and found that out - brought me back down to earth a little bit 😂

It's really weird as I don't feel pregnant and in my heart of hearts don't think I am, but these symptoms don't half get your hopes up! Can the next week to 10 days just fly by please?!

Went out and got the stuff for my bacon sandwich, it was great 😋

Smilingdonkey · 30/06/2020 10:32

I am excited for all the nausea!

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Workingmama1 · 30/06/2020 10:25

Sounds like there is a fair bit of nausea around at the moment @skyblue20 @jojo58995 ! 🤞 it will be followed by some positives... Im feeling it less today but yesterday it was strong with a funny taste so 🤷‍♀️ obviously I googled and didn't realised that nausea can also be a PMS symptom.

Since feb 2018 I've only had one period that I knew was coming (and I wasn't even really sure when that was going to turn up!) In fact I've bled more with postpartum bleeding, miscarriage and then CP than normal periods (only x2) since then, so I have no reference point for what is normal for me which is frustrating.

PurplePansy05 · 30/06/2020 10:23

One thing I will say though, @Ranoutofgoodnames I know some of my words were harsh and I probably upset you too at the time when you may be going through your second loss. I am sorry about that and sorry you're going through this stressful time again - I don't wish to make it in any way worse for you and sorry I inadvertently did. I do hope things work out for you. I've been in that place of unknown myself before when they told me come back in 2 weeks time for another scan, there was internal bleeding and the wait was excruciating. I was further along though and there are positive outcomes, remember, especially that you're early on and there might well be positive news. It does happen that everything develops well despite the initial worries.

I have been speaking from the place of pain since yesterday because it hurt me right where I didn't want it to, but I don't want to my words to upset you now or at all. X

ALew15 · 30/06/2020 10:18

@Poppy10121 we are about the same timings, I am 7DPO today. No symptoms at all though, checking back on my app, I had sore boobs this time last month. Was convinced I was pregnant then. I'm hoping that my lack of symptoms is a good sign 😹😹