Starting TTC again after missed miscarriage

AF is certainly here for me today! I've found the sight of blood really triggering this time, thankfully can use tampons so have to see less of it. Doesn't help that everytime I try to go to the loo my 18 month old tries to shove sanitary towels down my pants as she's seen me doing it so often recently!

Alsp at least I now know that PMS symptoms for me include nausea, sore nipples and random cramping so can try to avoid symptom spotting next cycle (who am I kidding 🤣)

Its out wedding anniversary on Sunday so at least AF arriving means I can have a drink. Although funny story the poatman delivered my anniversary present to my husband today, but also delivered an identical package from the same etsy seller for my huaband, looks like we have ordered each other the same gift!

@ALew15 So I heard that after 3 losses they should be offered as standard. But I'll tell you when I get there! (plus things might not be happening due to covid right now).

@Sakura54 @PurplePansy05 I never had a blood test on my previous pregnancy either. I imagine if I had then they would have picked up that it had been lost before I went for my 12 week scan.
Do they only offer early/extra scans if you've had multiple losses?

@Sakura54 How far along are you now? None of my booking appts were before 10 wks. They never sent me for blood tests in any of my pregnancies either, I was supposed to be consultant-led too.

Do your parents know it's from the hospital? I'm pretty sure my local hospital sends correspondence in blank envelopes.

I do wonder what my care will be like next time, probably just as bad as most of the time before. Maybe they'll offer me some extra scans, but probably not due to covid. Should I be asking for anything more, do you think?

So I just had my booking in telephone appt. It was exactly the same, complete with all the extra appts for having a high risk pregnancy and being consultant led. They literally could just give me back the same maternity book with the dates changed lol. It feels like a waste of time really.

Didn’t think they would do it until I was 8 weeks, it's too soon. Have to go in for checks and blood test, we practically had a row lol, as they wanted me to come today whereas I don’t even want to have a blood test yet, plus I just had one a few months ago and it’s not that local, so I picked my own date. Wasn’t nice having to discuss the MMC but they need details.

Gosh, my dad is stressing and wondering why I’ve asked them not to open my letter from the hospital. My maternity care is with their local hospital instead of my own as I need them to watch DS when I go for appts and plan to stay with them after the birth, so my letters go to their address. Previously I had asked them to open all my letters to tell me when my appointments were lol. Obviously they don’t know about this new pregnancy yet, so he probably thinks something is wrong and that I’m going to miss my appointment...or they may suspect I'm pregnant again lol.

Hey @SkyBlue20, it went ok, thanks. The nurse was nice and she said she'd chase everything up for me, very apologetic for the delay (no one knows why it took them nearly a month since the MVA to figure out something was missing). But anyway, over and done with!

I've had two really busy days at work, kind of looking forward to the weekend and relaxation of our travel restrictions in Wales, but on the other hand I'm feeling a bit meh. I think this lockdown has finally started taking its toll on me.

Sorry about the bfns and AFs arriving, ladies. It's not a nice day or five when this happens, but hopefully it'll go fast and before you know it, you'll be trying again. For now, one more week of gin

Also, had a call with someone from MN earlier this week about something work related and she was telling me about all of these really supportive forums they've got, like pregnancy and I just wanted to say 'I know, I'm on them' but she's so right, don't know what I'd do without this thread!

Afternoon all!

How are we?

@PurplePansy05 How did the blood test go? Absolutely had the same thoughts about how TV depicts MC, looks like you have a light period and that's it done...

@Workingmama1 @mrsAndeke @Poppy10121 Sorry AF has shown for you ladies. Nice big glass (bottle) of wine for you all this weekend please! Your next chance will be here soon and it's a nice fresh start 💕 Sending positive vibes for the next cycle.

@MrsAndeke Do you have anything nice planned for your 30th? So sorry it's a reminder of what could have been 💕

@Poppy10121 Found the run ok, had to slow down to a walk for a minute in the middle but was generally ok. It's very hilly near me and it was at the top of the hilliest bit that I had to stop - I could have carried on by the end though! I too started after my MMC and it is nice to see my body standing up to the challenge after all it has been through, it must have been so delicate for a while there and now it's even better than it was before!
A test that told you from 1DPO would be amazing!

@ALew15 fingers crossed the BFP is on its way 🤞🏼

I too have been kind of expecting that we'll just get pregnant first time again and am really trying to tell myself that we probably haven't, think I'll be quite upset if/when AF shows. Am constantly thinking about it, too. Work has been quite busy with calls this morning, which is good, but when it's just me at my laptop working, I get so distracted and come on here (like right now 😂) or start Googling symptoms/anything around TTC or start filling in as much info as I can on my Ovia app 🤦🏻‍♀️

My latest is that I've convinced myself that if I am pregnant I'm going to have a chemical or early MC as any symptoms I do appear to have aren't strong compared to last time. I don't even know if the symptoms mean pregnancy and I'm sure I'm probably misremembering how strong my symptoms were last time, too (though that didn't exactly end well), but at this rate even a BFP isn't going to calm me as I'll be expecting a CP or MC. It's exasperating being in my head 🙈

CD 27 today. Two weeks since the date I may have ovulated if my nipples are anything to go by (I got sore nipples 3DPO last time so based on that, which is so not something worth basing anything on 😂) or 10 days since the last time we DTD that could have been the last one to work, if it has (DTD since but I definitely had symptoms before then). Not fancying testing at the mo, convinced myself I'm not pregnant or if I am then it's going to end badly so I just don't want to know... for now.

Oops, pressed wrong button. I've been trying to distract myself - been comfort reading books I know don't have any babies etc in, and watching cheesy films (made the mistake of watching Steel Magnolias last week, was in floods), and crocheting. And work is distracting, though stressful in a different way. It's those quiet times sat on the sofa watching the children play and thinking about things.

@Poppy10121 I'm just waiting for af to show so I can start the cycle. I'm torn between hoping for a long luteal phase as that's better, or hoping for a short one to get on with things!

Thanks @ALew15 I'm surprised how much it's affecting me each time I see AF - I was so hopeful this month. I'm going to go and buy a nice bottle of wine later and get a takeaway this evening, on to the next cycle sigh. Gordons Lemon gin sounds lovely too!

@Threnody where abouts in your cycle are you now? I totally get it, I was the same - not quite looking up scans but thinking about how I'd find reasons to not drink at a BBQ in 2 weeks time, how excited my mum would be again... etc.

I need to find some things to keep me occupied and stop thinking about TTC for a while, I think. Not that many options during lockdown though :(

Sorry af has arrived @Poppy10121.
Sorry for bfn @ALew15, fx for a bfp in a couple of days.

I've been kind of counting on just getting pregnant straight away next month, and have been obsessively looking up when I'd be able to get scans and things. I'm a bit worried I'm going to struggle if we don't.

Sorry to hear that @Poppy10121 we are in the same boat, we conceived really quickly without even really trying last year. I know we are only on third cycle trying now but each month seems to be getting harder.
No AF here yet but I did take a cheapy hpt this morning (only 10DPO... I know 🙄) but was a bfn. Wanted some sort of reassurance before AF turns up next week no doubt.

Enjoy your drinks this weekend! DH has promised me a bottle of the new Gordon's Sicilian Lemon gin if AF turns up! Yum

Woke up this morning to find all my “symptoms” had gone and then when I got to the bathroom found AF is here right on time ☹️
My husband said “how is that even possible this month!?” I think the SMEP wore us both out a bit! Feeling a bit bummed out, gonna get some more OPKs and just enjoy some drinks this weekend I guess. I know it’s still early days but we conceived so quick last time I just thought it would happen again for us.

@Threnody it’s the CB advanced digital one. I got my first flashing smiley a week ago, so I’ll keep doing once a day for the next couple of days just in case. Thank you for the tips of doing cheapy OPK’s a few times a day after flashing smiley, I’ll def do that next cycle (trying to convince myself I won’t get pregnant for at least 3 cycles, just to soften the blow).

@Workingmama1 Why has no-one invented that test?! Haha :D

@mrsAndeke sorry to hear that :( I hope you can do something nice for your birthday and maybe enjoy a few drinks or nice soft cheeses?

Feeling a bit emotional today, I think AF has arrived with some spotting and cramps, and a BFN. Just feeling crappy as it's my 30th in a few days and I should of been announcing the gender and half way through my pregnancy, and just feel so low. What a blah week! Hope you all get your bfPs soon!

@Poppy10121 wouldn't it be great if you could test at 1 dpo, and it was only positive if you were getting a baby at the end of it!

Pretty sure AF is arriving, bit of blood on wiping so comiserating with a cup of tea and chocolate biscuits in the only half hour I've had not on teams calls all day!

Well done to those of you further along couch 2 5k, ive done the first three runs and my back is killing me! Really want to carry on as I enjoy running but think my body is saying no 🤣

@Skyblue20 how did you find the 20min run? I felt great after that one when you realise what you can do!

I'm just starting week 8 of Couch 2 5k and I'm feeling good that I've come this far, I started it after the MMC so I feel positive for what I have done for my body since that experience. But also sad that it's been 8 weeks since I felt physically well enough to run and still not conceived yet (even though I know that is no time at all, really).

Definitely doing TWW overthinking too. I'm driving myself mad with it. I basically don't remember any symptoms from last time except heavy boobs and I noticed they hurt when I ran down the stairs earlier - but AF due tomorrow so could be that. I wish you could test and know from 1DPO!

*by way of us

Oh @Poppy10121 sending virtual hugs I initially thought I was the only woman in the world feeling like this hearing others' announcements, but having read more online, most of us go through it. I wish we didn't have to and that someone out there would give us a guarantee that it will be ok soon, a healthy baby is definitely coming. We have to believe it will happen for us.

Well I'm sat at the hospital waiting for my blood test, raging inside, but the nurse here is very nice so I won't be moaning to her about all the delays.

You know what makes me laugh, those tv series that present the MC as a sudden gush of blood, the woman dramatically fainting, or falling down the stairs, or all of it happening immediately as a result of a stressful event. A one-off bit of blood and drama and that's it. People are so deluded as to what it really entails. Some of my friends didn't realise the baby has to come out by was of is giving birth! I was like wtf where you thinking, that it just magically disappears?!

Thanks @Starfish762- completely agree with all that you've said there!

Thanks @Threnody! You'll amaze yourself at how quickly the running builds up - it's still not easy at all but it's more than I could do before.

I'm doing that TWW overthinking thing, somebody stop me! So, last pregnancy, I had huge red patches around my mouth from day one and they left a couple of weeks after my MVA. I haven't had them so far this TWW but I always go really red after a run and today I was as tomato like as ever but was ever redder around where I had the pregnancy patches last time. I looked back on old post-running selfies (I usually take them to send my mum and laugh at how red I am...) and I never used to have them. Like I say, MASSIVELY overthinking things, I know, I just can't help it! 🙈

@SkyBlue20 well done getting that far. I am on week 3, and surprised I managed to run 3 minutes!

@PurplePansy05 Weight loss I have been doing low carb, high fat - so cutting out bread, pasta, potatoes, rice, cakes, biscuits, sugar and eating lots of meat, fish, cheese, veg, berries, eggs. It's weird to get your head around, as suddenly low-fat things, and most fruits are bad, and full fat, cream etc is good. I try to stick to 50g carbs per day, and include some cheats chocolate in that or I'd go mad! I lost 12lbs in the first month, then it slowed down.

So sorry @Poppy10121 it's difficult.

@Starfish762 Is it a clearblue advanced digital, or normal? With advanced you should test once a day until you get flashing smiley, then you can test twice a day, or use cheapie opks to test extra times, which is what I did. Lh surge can last different times each cycle, last month I got negative opk in the morning, positive in the afternoon and negative again next morning - yes I know you're supposed to stop testing after 1st peak (this month
I had flashing smiley on cb advanced digital in the morning, positive cheapie opk and static smiley on clearblue at lunchtime, then positive opks for next 2 days).

@SkyBlue20 Sorry to read about your awful experience, as if all this isn’t hard enough. We are all SO much stronger than we ever though to have got through the other side of our experiences. I agree with you on telling quite a lot of our friends about the MMC, it was a relief doing so & it enlightens people to just how bad it is & how much people need support (I also feel sad looking back that I had no idea what it was like, and probably didn’t offer enough support to people). It also feels a relief now that friends know we want another baby, no more questions about it, no more fibbing as to why I can’t come to an event or whatever, it just feels nice for the pressure to be off (although they’re obviously all waiting for us to be pregnant again which I suppose is the wrong kind of pressure).

I had to close down that post after reading only 1 page. What an awful human! She’s the exact reason I often hate forums like these, so many keyboard warriors & trolls thinking they can shout off their opinions & say what they like. It’s nice to be on this thread with some lovely ladies, you’ve really helped me so much

I need to go for my run - the first 20min non-stop one on couch to 5k and I keep procrastinating to put it off! I’ve waited too long and now I’m hungry, too. Don’t want to 😫🙈