Starting TTC again after missed miscarriage

@littletandme It's my understanding that you must wait for 2 weeks and bleeding has to completely stop first to prevent infection. If you want to TTC without waiting for your period then no need for condoms; I don’t think there’s a right or wrong way. It might make things confusing though.

Same here about the age gap! There would have been 3 years 3 months between mine as baby was due Nov, so I was so disappointed on top of what I was already feeling, but I then thought about the positives of a big gap (4+ years) and have accepted it as there’s nothing I can do now. I’m in no rush and being patient but offcourse would like a baby sooner rather than later!

I also feel like my period could be coming back soon. Nearly 3 weeks since my MVA so it’s possible. I didn’t track my cycle straight after having DS so not sure how consistent it will be these first few months, but in general my cycle is regular.

@littletandme Same here (ish) - I found out at 12 weeks that the pregnancy had stopped progressing and the sac was measuring 9 weeks, however after three weeks of waiting (they made me try expectant management first) and nothing happening, I was made to do medical management (I say made as I would have gone straight for an MVA/ERPC but they had diff processes in place due to covid-19). The medical management didn't work and when I went back a week later for another scan, the sac had grown to 10 weeks (which then cast doubt over whether they'd do the MVA at their cut off was 9 weeks but thankfully they did!), so although not growing at a 'normal' speed, it was still growing. Perhaps that's why they told me three weeks 🤷🏻‍♀️

The PMS feelings are good! Hopefully a sign your body is getting back to a regular routine. I'm going to try and hold off doing my test until at least Wednesday but preferably Friday, the longer the better I guess - I really don't want to see a positive, I feel like I'm getting back to 'normal' and a positive would tell me I wasn't.

@SkyBlue20 annoyingly I’ve got a bit of spotting again today and more aches so I think my body is still catching up with what has happened. The gestational sac was still growing right up to having the MVA even though the baby had stopped at 7 weeks so I think it’s going to take a while for the hormones to get back to normal and probably to get a negative test. I feel very PMS-y today which I suppose is a “good” sign that things are progressing.

Hi all. Think I am on a similar timeline to you op.

I had a MMC over Easter at 11-12 weeks, tested until BFN and now trying again. Think I've ovulated a couple of days ago based on OPK and temps but waiting for Ovusense to confirm it.

Feel absolutely desperate to get pregnant again. The pregnancy which resulted in MMC took us 15m to get there so feeling wary we will have a long road again. Already have one child who was conceived quickly with no problems!

Good luck to everyone.

@littletandme We still haven’t DTD and it’s been 2.5 weeks since my MVA - I feel overly cautious for some reason! I think subconsciously I’m waiting for a negative test and was told to test three weeks after, which will be Friday. However, I ordered the tests online and was expecting them on Thursday but they’ve just arrived and I’m so tempted to do one, I don’t think I’d do well if it was still positive though so should just wait...

I have read in a few places that you’re to wait for two weeks but the hospital didn’t tell me anything at all about it so who knows! The main risk is the risk of infection, so once the bleeding has stopped then in theory your cervix should have closed and the risk is reduced/gone? I could just totally be making that up though! Sorry, absolutely no use whatsoever! 🤦🏻‍♀️

@littletandme I'm glad you finally got the treatment you wanted. As for the age gap, I know it's easier said than done but try not to put too much pressure on yourself. They do say though that you are more foretine after pregnancy so it might not take long at all! As long as you feel mentally ready as well as physically!

@33Carr thank you for replying. I am doing well, I found out at a private scan originally, I was 7+3 but baby only measuring 7w with no heartbeat. Not nice to find out without DH as he was home with DD. But eventually after another private scan two weeks later (EPU refused to see me as there was no bleeding or pain, would only offer medical management at home if I really pushed for it) luckily I had a lovely sonographer who also worked at the hospital and she got me an appointment two days later and told me MVAs were still available so I just pushed for that as I have history of haemorrhage and retained placenta after DD’s birth so I was very concerned about medical management given the risks.

So desperate to TTC again though, I really wanted just over a 3yr age gap and this pregnancy was going to be 3yr 4m so I feel under pressure (entirely from my own head) now as it’s going to be at least 3.5yrs if not more.

@littletandme Yeah I got told to wait untill bleeding had stopped and pain was gone. I had very little bleeding, the MVA was on a Friday and I think we DTD again on Tuesday/Wednesday. Not to TTC though. How are you doing?

Could I ask you lovely ladies when you started to have sex again after your miscarriage? I just want to feel close to DH again but unsure if we should be using condoms for a little while or abstain completely for any specific length of time. I was only told to avoid sex until the bleeding stopped and it has, I’ve just got slight brown discharge now but my MVA was only last Thursday.

@Smilingdonkey getting stronger would suggest a new pregnancy but you just can't be sure as our bodies work in mysterious ways! That would be amazing for you though. The GP might possibly tell you to wait another week. I think it’s ok that you didn’t wait to TTC as so much time has already been wasted.

It hasn't taken me long to conceive each time but never without trying though. Would be great for it to happen without effort.

@Smilingdonkey Hope the GP can offer some advice and give you an explanation x

@Smilingdonkey If the tests are getting darker you may well be pregnant again. You are especially fertile after you miscarry so it is a fair possibility. I know it’s easier said than done but try not to stress too much that you didn’t wait. My friend didn’t wait after her miscarry and fell pregnant with DC2 straight away and all was well. Could you get one of the clear blue tests that state the number of weeks on it? Just thinking that may help. I have everything crossed for you!

@Dipsy77 I had the same thing, they scanned me after a few weeks and said retained products, but then things carried on for another 4 weeks and I finally got a bfn so they said no point in repeating a scan as it must all be clear despite me still passing bits....I don't know whether you can have retained products if you have got a bfn but I have definitely wondered with the persistent bleeding....

@Smilingdonkey I've been told lots of different things about when to ttc, my mother in law is a midwife and she said wait 6 months, the EPU said wait 1 month but from everything else I've been told the only reason they say to wait is for dating reasons so I really dont think anyone knows and I know multiple people who have conceived within 1 month of miscarriage and now have healthy children. As it's been said I dont want to get your hopes up but if you're getting stronger positives then it might be a new pregnancy?! My positives after miscarriage were faint and definitely got fainter each time. Fingers crossed for you xx

@33carr no twins in the family but they thought they were identical which is completely random rather than genetic. It was very odd as they just weren't sure. First scan showed just the sack no embros or heartbeats, second she found one embryo but never mentioned a second, third found what clearly looked like two embryos and two yolk says but by the the forth everything was disintegrating so couldn't confirm.

@smilingdonkey it's all a minefield isn't it! I don't want to get your hopes up but if the tests are getting stronger it could be a new pregnancy? It's a really tough one, you'll probably just have to wait and see but if they are still saying you are pregnant in the next few days it might be worth seeking medical advice, in normal times they would probably do blood tests to check you levels but not sure what they would do now.

Hello to the new ladies, sorry you are here but hoping we can share our journeys together.

We might have a spanner in our ttc timeliness, my DH was waiting for an operation pre covid, but was starting to feel really unwell and the doctor has now said they want to do it within 6 weeks. He wants to wait until after then... But we dtd for the first time in two months last night, I think we might keep doing that but not actively "try".

@JoJo58995 I found out about the erosion during a smear about 15 years ago. When they did the internal scan they saw retained product that couldn't be seen on an abdominal scan,at that point I was still getting positive tests. I've never had any issues with my erosion but thinking now I may have to have it I corterised as it's starting to cause issues for me x

I feel a bit abandoned too. The staff were all lovely and luckily for me I have had no ongoing issues. Told to wait for BFN if I wanted but only for dating. Had a random letter from hospital 2 weeks after my MM saying I needed antibiotics. I had no infection i was aware of, I rang up and they said yes I needed them as had tested positive to aerobes? Nobody knew if results were from blood, urine or vaginal swab or what the infection was. I ve took them anyway and hope that whatever it is has gone and that next time it won't be an issue. Would be interested to know if this ?infection was a factor or if the infection was caused by the MMC being there for 3 weeks before I knew x

@Smilingdonkey I was only saying to hubby earlier that I feel a bit left to deal with it all without any info on what is normal. The EPU were amazing with their aftercare while I was still getting positives, but once I had a negative they said I needed to see my GP about the continued bleeding as there wasn't anything they could do. Then the GP said it should stop and to wait for another 4-6 weeks....perhaps it will but it isn't showing any signs of that currently. The EPU said we were safe to ttc once I'd had my first period, and we have been DTD because I thought it had all stopped but I can't believe I could even be ovulating with all of this going on, and I do worry about what sort of lining I could even be building up to support a pregnancy if I did somehow manage to conceive!

@Dipsy77 I'm sorry you had months of it too! Did they scan you to confirm everything was complete or did they go on you getting a bfn? I wondered about whether I could have an infection....I plan to speak to my GP tomorrow and ask them whether they will investigate for me. I don't know what they will be able to do with everything going on at the moment but I can at least ask. I read about cervical erosions but I don't know much about them, how did you find out that you had one?

@BenScalesIsAGod I'm sorry you've had months before your bfn but I'm glad its finally arrived!

Can I join? I had retained products after an erpc. Has taken about 3 months to get a negative test but finally I have!

Hope you can make sense of message !🙄