Starting TTC again after missed miscarriage

@WildflowerPetals fingers crossed its your period, its funny how after TTC and then a miscarriage that we get excited to see signs of blood!

Although I am quite sick of the sight of blood right now, I bled for 3 weeks ppst MMC and now on day 3 of first period. I've not used tampons either, I know it's not advised to aftet MC so not sure if its the same for a CP? Seeing blood has made me a little aad as its bringing back memories of the MC. Make the mistake of making playdough with red food colouring, my kitchen looked like a murder scene!

@Smilingdonkey I thought it was weird the EPU said CPs are rare.... glad your levels are ba k to normal and you can feel excited again.

@Smilingdonkey glad you're feeling excited again.
@AlisonLew15 fx for you, well done for waiting to test - I've always been terrible at that!

Fx for everyone waiting for periods, I've had 2 since my SMM - the first was not fun, but the second was better, not quite back to normal, but less painful and heavy. I'm expecting af#3 in a few days, so hopefully that will be better still. Though I expect I'll feel just as sad about it, I found it a constant reminder.

Feeling sad today as one of the mums from the group I joined when I had my first is pregnant and due just a couple of weeks later than I would have been, and she posted her scan pic. I'm so happy for her, particularly as she's had a difficult time and also lost a baby, but just seeing that scan pic, reminded me about my scan.

Had some blood when I wiped just now so it looks like my period is finally arriving 🙌🏼 6 weeks and 4 days after MC! So relieved x

Hi @Starfish762 AF stands for Aunty Flow or period.

@Workingmama1sorry to hear what you’re going through, hope you’re okay.

@itssquidstella I’m the same as you with barely any bleeding. I had my MVA & had light spotting for 2 days. A week after that light spotting on the odd day, then 2 weeks after that (so 3 weeks after MVA) I’ve had the odd spotting on the odd day, usually dark brown, but it’s brighter red & more of if if I’ve gone for a number 2 (TMI, sorry ladies!) It is strange, but I’m just assuming it will be strange until my body gets back to normal.

Fingers crossed we don’t have to wait the full 6 weeks for our first periods. What is the abbreviation AF everyone is using? I think it means first period, but not sure what it stands for.

@itssquidstella Yeah exactly! I’m glad you understand where I’m coming from. It just seems so unfair.

That must be really hard for you, it’s a constant reminder of where you could’ve been isn’t it 😔

I’m waiting for my period before we start TTC again just because I think not knowing a possible due date would make me (even more) anxious.

I hope it all works out for you this time x

I was under the impression that if the bleeding is prolonged then that is indication that there may be retained product? That certainly happened with me. Eventually I think my body just expelled it one night sitting on the sofa. That was pretty traumatic. That happened over a month, maybe even 2 after my D&C. I bled almost every day from November to Feb.

I'm 10DPO today of 2nd month of trying, and holding out til AF before I test.

@WildflowerPetals I feel exactly the same - so many people I went to school with who I know smoked and drank through pregnancy (I went to quite a rough school!) and have popped out endless babies seemingly without issue, and I can't even seem to manage one :(

A colleague/friend is due when I would have been from the first mc, and another friend is due when I would have been from this most recent one, which seems doubly unfair.

Really hoping I get pregnant again quickly and it sticks; we're trying immediately rather than waiting for my period to come.

@Sakura54 Thanks, I’m trying not to worry about it but it’s hard when you hear of most people getting theirs at/before 6 weeks. But I’ve also read you can skip a period after a miscarriage so I guess I’ll just have to wait and see! Hope you’re well x

@itssquidstella I’m finding it hard with people who are due around the same time I was. My close friend (who I work with) is due just 2 weeks after I was - I see her every day with her growing bump and people talking to her about baby things. I just keep thinking “That should be me”.

I also find it hard when people have unplanned pregnancies or smoke/drink when they’re pregnant and still end up with a healthy baby. Me and DH have known for years we wanted a baby and would try after we got married (August 2019), I took all the vitamins, didn’t drink a drop and have never smoked, so now it just seems cruel we’ve had to go through this (before anyone thinks it - I’m in no way saying those with unplanned pregnancies don’t deserve healthy babies!) x

I didn't have an MVA but I would have thought little bleeding is a good sign. I think with retained tissue the bleeding can continue as your uterus tried to flush it out?

@sakura54 I was surprised when she said chemicals were rare as I thought they were quite common but a lot of the time women just don't realise it. If they are rare I guess I've just been unlucky to have a MMC then a CP straight after.

My period flow is very heavy today so I think that confirms a CP. I'll probably test tomorrow as it should be negative by then i think.

We had to drop my husband at hospital this morning at 7am so an early start. But he has just rang and they have done his operation which is good. He's not home until tomorrow so it's just me and my daughter today. Wish the weather was nicer so I could take her somewhere now we're not in isolation!

For those deciding whether to wait a cycle or not in hindsight I wish I had. It was very confusing starting to get positives not not being sure when I should be seeing strong lines as I had no idea on dates! However, I believe there is no guarantee tour cycle will be normal even after one period so it might not help!

I did have quite a bit of cramping and pain after my MVA and bled for nearly 2 weeks, I just believe everyone is different, I don't think everyone experiences the same things, if you do feel uninsured just call your GP/EPU

Why would no bleeding be a sign of retained tissue? I think if anything, it's a good sign. From previous experience after medical management, bleeding lasts for a while and there's lots of clotting if any tissue still needs to leave the uterus. Not sure if it's the same with MVA, but I'm following this logic and it feels quite reassuring. If I'm wrong, please shout.

@mrsAndeke I know how you feel; it seems like everyone I know is pregnant and every time I hear someone else's good news it kills me a bit. I just want it to be my turn :(

It's been ten days since I had my MVA and I've barely had any bleeding - I filled a pad that afternoon but since then I'd barely even call it spotting. Anyone have any idea if that's a problem? I'm happy not to be bleeding but slightly concerned it means there'll be retained tissue.

@Workingmama1 Sorry you think you’ve had a CP. Hopefully now you’ll be able to see what’s what when you stop bleeding. They said CPs are rare? That doesn’t really mean anything to us seeing as MMCs are supposedly rare too.

Hi again @PurplePansy05 glad your MVA went well and that you’ve moved over to this thread. Some of us are still waiting for our first AF or have just had it so still somewhat early days. I only bled properly shortly after my MVA and then barely anything for the next few days. I then waited for my first period as recommended. Wasn’t told to take a pregnancy test @Knittinggurl sorry you find yourself here.

@SkyBlue20 I’ll just have to see if my next AF arrives on time as I highly doubt I’ll get pregnant straightaway anyway. If it doesn't it'll be annoying. I’m not ready this month due to using a new medicine, but of course not going to prevent it from happening. No idea if I will even ovulate. We still think it’s best to not be pregnant ATM but DH is saying ‘if it happens, it happens’ lol.

So I suppose this is Cycle 1 for me! I've never looked at it in terms of cycles, just how many months it took. Counting cycles makes it sound like it takes me longer to get pregnant! Cycle 6 (!) for DS (although I wasn't even using tracking apps and possibly had a CP), then Cycle 3 for the MMC.

Hang in there @WildflowerPetals it’s a long time to wait but hopefully it’ll come soon for you. I don’t think you need to worry just yet.

Hi @SkyBlue20. Oh dear, I couldn't sleep at all. I think it's really shaken me yesterday to hear that my trauma after the medical management was understandable, justified, there's an explanation for it and it could have been so easily avoided. These memories I don't want to think about came back and I was lying in bed trying to process all that. I'm exhausted today.

I understand what you mean re testing early and waiting for your period, I was the same after my first one. I actually saw my baby then and it was hard emotionally. Now because it's blighted ovum, I'm more relaxed about testing. My dates are also slightly off every time because I have 32-ish day cycles and ovulate around day 21-22, so I can never truly work it out from LMP anyway! It's always been a nightmare with all my scans. Remember your ovulation might move slightly after the miscarriage, so some sort of tracking or regular sex throughout a longer window might help. Xx

@purplepansy05 I didn’t really have any bleeding afterwards I don’t think, I was really surprised. In fact, I felt absolutely fine afterwards (physically), MUCH better than I felt after the (failed) medical management (I think it was the codeine that made me really ill - they gave me a lower dosage for the MVA).

I didn’t take a test before the three weeks as I think seeing a positive would have been too upsetting so didn’t want to risk it, I think that’s completely a personal decision though. Same with the TTC immediately or waiting for a period - I mentioned above that I’m waiting (very impatiently) for my period first as I think being unsure about dates would be too stressful for me.

Your weekend sounds lovely. Tonight’s just been chilled for us, too. Off to bed shortly, have been exhausted all of this week, not sure how I’m ever meant to get up super early to commute in to work again - I rolled out of bed at 8:45am today 😂🙈

Can I ask those of you who had MVA, how long was your bleeding afterwards?

I only had a little bit of spotting and a tinge of blood when wiping, no actual bleeding and no pain, just this pulling sensation which has now disappeared.

Is this it or am I supposed to expect a period-like bleeding over the next few days? I'm really confused.

Also, are you going to TTC as soon as the bleeding stops?

I was told to take a pregnancy test after 3 weeks just in case. Thinking whether to take one earlier?

PS - tonight was just chill, with pizzas and Michael Jordan documentary on Netflix. Tomorrow I'm rearranging my home office and treating my hubby to a cream tea. Healthy eating back on from Monday! Xx

@purplepansy05 I’m glad it went as well as it could and that your treatment by staff was so much better. Must be a relief. Hope you recover well.

@AlisonLew15 I’m so sorry you had such a terrible experience 💕

@Knittinggurl I’m so sorry for your loss 💕 Like @Starfish762, I was told to take a test after three weeks and call if it wasn’t negative. I too am waiting for my period before TTC again for dating purposes though I know everyone is doing it differently on here.

Just had a takeout from a place local to us and am having a wine, no plans tomorrow and then Sunday is my little brother’s birthday (he’s primary school age), so we’ll pop by for a socially distanced hello and to drop off his pressie. what’s everyone else up to?

Five weeks today since my MVA and still no period 😒

@Starfish762 Thank you. I'm glad your MVA went well too. I think it's a very personal choice, but I know I'd go with MVA again too. Or D&C, I guess, I just go a bit crazy after general anaesthetic 😂

What's everyone doing this weekend?

@PurplePansy05 I’m so sorry to hear what you went through, heartbreaking :( I second what you said about the MVA though. I’ve only had one miscarriage thankfully, but after speaking to several friends who had medical management, I decided I couldn’t even take the risk of experiencing what they did. Because of covid I couldn’t be put to sleep which is what I would’ve chosen, so I was really worried about the MVA but it was absolutely fine! The staff were AMAZING talked to me before, during & after, it wasn’t traumatic at all which I put down completely to the support I had. My husband wasn’t at any of my scans or the MVA obviously, but the staff made it feel like I knew them. If anyone is on here reading this before deciding which option to go down, I hope this helps.

@Knittinggurl Welcome, so sorry for your loss. The first nurse I saw told me to do a pregnancy test 3 weeks after my MVA & if it was positive to call in, but the nurse on the day who looked after me said they’ve just changed that procedure because 99.9% of the tests come back negative, so it wasn’t necessary. I done one this morning anyway for peace of mind, it was negative so just waiting for my period now. I want to try asap but I’m going to follow the advice of waiting until after first period, just to give my cycle a chance to get back to normal, and so it can be dated properly when we do fall. As desperate as I am to start, I figure what’s a few more weeks.

Hello all, can I join please? So sorry to hear everyone's stories. Just had a MMC at 9 weeks, the baby had stopped growing at 6. I am still bleeding but hoping to get back on the horse
soon as I'm on the older side.... Is everyone waiting for their first period to come before TTC again? Or just going for it straightaway? Also, I haven't been told to take a pregnancy test at any point, should I be doing this three weeks after the bleeding stops? Do you need a negative before you can try again?

@AlisonLew15 I know exactly what you mean, I thought it was my "fault" I dealt with it so poorly, but definitely not. I think if you're quite resilient you have the tendency to try to justify it, but if that's what's happened to you, it's likely too much. You don't have to go through it again, don't be scared. There are other management options which might suit you better. Definitely worth raising this if you ever have to go through a miscarriage again. I am feeling like a different woman today and I cannot believe the difference between the horror I've been through before and now. To be clear, it doesn't take away from the pain of anyone who had a successful MVA or D&C, what I mean is that my first experience was so bad it's messed me up and it turns out it could have been avoided. You don't know what's best for you until you go through it yourself, unfortunately. Xx

That sounds very similar to my second dose. I'm usually pretty good with pain too, or so I thought. The contractions were constant a couple of hours after the tablets were inserted, they got so bad after 8 hours that my husband rushed me to A&E (on NYE) where I was put on a morphine drip. Never once did they mention about an allergy, I just assumed I'd had a bad experience.
Definitely agree that it took me a long time to get over it, probably still traumatised by it now. Nervous that it's going to happen again the next time xx