Starting TTC again after missed miscarriage

@PurplePansy05 feel better soon! I hope it‘a not the virus

@SkyBlue20 I was told the same as @Poppy10121 re tampons, lovely.

Something's hit me tonight, I went for a walk and I'm feeling really poorly, dizzy and weak. Off to bed, snuggled up with my dog. Xx

@Threnody How did you find driving? I drove the other day for the first time since March and was alarmed at how many awful drivers there were on the motorway - can’t decide if the quieter roads has brought them out or if they’ve always been there and I just got used to them!

@Poppy10121 Ohh were you? I wasn’t told anything - I just read online not to have sex/a bath/use tampons until the bleeding had stopped and that’s it really. Bad how little info is actually given after a MC.
Sorry to hear you’ve not had a good day, I definitely think hormones are probably still all over the show, it’ll take a bit for them to settle after everything - they can be bad enough at times when it’s TOTM let alone after everything else. I was in a huge funk on Saturday, really, really low all day, which I too can only put down to my hormones. Tough being female, isn’t it?! Men don’t know how lucky they are sometimes!

@SkyBlue20 I was told not to use tampons for the first period (not sure why!) and then this morning I had a brief moment of hoping it was implantation bleeding so wanted to be careful. Even though I know it's not, I guess I want to keep an eye on things a bit more than usual to see if my cycle is being normal or not. Sigh.

@Threnody I am only 9 days past ovulation and got AF today too, so maybe its just going to take a while to have normal cycle lengths? It was so unexpected for me.

I had a hard day today with lots of cramps and burst into tears this afternoon for no obvious reason. I suppose my hormones are all over the place still.

Sorry @purplepansy it must be so hard. Glad you've got an appointment date.

Sorry AF arrived @Poppy10121.

@SkyBlue20 I know what you mean about being impatient!

My AF turned up today, only 10dpo so I'm worried that's a bit short. I've always had irregular cycles and luteal lengths though.

I actually got out of the house today as I had to go to work to collect my new laptop, first time driving since lockdown!

@Poppy10121 I think we can use tampons again now but with mine being heavier than usual, I don't have any tampons that are absorbent enough for it, so am having to use the pads I got for post-medical management, as I don't have any normal pads in either. Considering I moaned about wanting this period for ages, I was absolutely not prepared for it and just haven't had a chance to get to the shop - you can't just 'pop' to a shop anymore, it's a full debacle 🙈 So yeah, fully with you on being sick of pads, they're not fun!

@Poppy10121 I had three consecutive losses, so I am on the NHS recurrent miscarriage referral path, but NK Cells tests are not done on the NHS, so I've arranged for that privately in addition.

@PurplePansy05 I think it's definitely AF, I had some hope at first because I had implantation bleeding when I got pregnant before but this is pretty heavy and I've got awful cramps. I'm being careful and not taking any painkillers just in case but I'm pretty sure this is a period :(
I'm glad you are going to get some tests done, that must be a big relief. Did you have to choose private referral, or did you have any NHS referral as well?

@SkyBlue20 I totally understand your impatience! I was also desperate for my cycle to come back after miscarriage but I am so sick of the endless amount of bleeding the last couple of months. I used to always use tampons but obviously we can't/aren't supposed to at the moment and all this faffing with pads is just awful. At least we are at home so I am never far from the bathroom cupboard.

@Poppy10121 Is it definitely another AF or mid-cycle spotting?

@SkyBlue20 Thanks. Feeling a bit better today although still disappointed in how inconsiderate they are. I won't be speaking to them for a while. There won't be anything to talk about anyway, they're in a baby bubble and I'm thinking about my dead daughter who would have been 6 months old this week. Or about the fact I should be happily sailing through my second trimester and showing off scan pictures to family and friends, like they did. So no, I won't be sharing their happiness at a cost to myself. Enough is enough.

Your AF will probably tail off soon, maybe it's heavier first few days and then it'll go away? That's how mine has always been, 3 awful days and then barely any bleeding or pain for 2 days.

I now have a private referral for NK Cells tests, first appointment in the end of this month. Relieved that things are moving, even though I can't TTC just yet. At least hopefully we'll have some news.

I'm still feeling sore and not physically ready to DTD. I'll test in about 2 weeks' time and take it from there.

@PurplePansy05 I'm so sorry, things can be so tough. Sending love.

@Poppy10121 So sorry your period is here, hopefully after this one it'll settle and you'll know where you're up to. I've said it before (in fact I said it to the midwife during my MVA 🙈) and I'll likely say it again but miscarriage is a b*tch! It's not just the obvious hard bits of it but then everything after it, too - the waiting, the uncertainty, the sheer amount of time it takes. Everything.

How's everyone doing today? After weeks of longing for my period, I'm now sick of it and want it to go 😂 It's really heavy, which I'm not used to, and a normal period for me is usually tailing off by now - this is showing absolutely no signs of that. I just really want to get going TTC again, too. I'm so impatient 🙄

I’ve woken up to my second AF since the miscarriage, my cycle is clearly a bit messed up (usually 25 days but this is only day 18) and I’m a bit disappointed because we were TTC this cycle. I’d been feeling quite positive but now I just can’t believe I have yet more days of bleeding and waiting to try again, I must be keeping Bodyform in business at the moment

@Poppy10121 It is very hard. I had three losses in a year, the last one on Friday and really the last thing I want to see today is their baby just born today. Indeed, I quit social media months ago, but they get you through WhatsApp anyway. I wish I could put up the status "I really don't care, leave me alone". 🙄

@purplepansy05 It’s so hard isn’t it :( I’m sure your friends weren’t thinking in that exact moment but doesn’t make it any easier! I stopped using social media to avoid these things but couldn’t avoid my own family so I’ve also had a lot of happy baby photos in the last month and even people who are very close to me (eg my mum) didn’t fully understand how upset that could make me at the time. I think all the people on this thread understand though as we are all in the same boat.

Arghhh, one of my friends gave birth, they know our story. Her husband just sent us a photo of the baby. I mean, wtaf. How insensitive. I wasn't upset, now I am. People are stupid.

@SkyBlue20 @WildflowerPetals Wahey! Finally eh!? I think most of us have had our periods now. Yeah I also only use an app which isn't going to be very reliable atm. Never done any of the other tracking stuff so no idea of my exact ovulation day usually, so it might be a bit hit and miss for the next few months until my cycle regulates. I think mine generally seem to regulate quickly after having a baby and stopping contraceptives, and now after MC too. If 2nd AF doesn't come on time, it's going to be confusing and annoying.

I suppose we will all have to see what happens next and can compare notes lol. Good luck everyone! Let's see those BFPs!

@Workingmama1 I’ve never been so happy to see blood haha x

@skyblue20 Yeah that’s exactly it, it just seems so unfair. I obviously wouldn’t want anyone to go through a MC but it seems cruel that it happens to us who “follow all the rules”.
So happy for you getting your period too! I feel like it’s taken a weight off me and I can start thinking about TTC now x

@qbecky Sorry for your loss 💞 Personally I’ve been waiting for my first period (which has just arrived) as I’m a bit of a control freak and like to know dates and things. I think it would make me anxious not having a date to go on. It’s totally up to you though! Like someone else has said, you should wait a few weeks to lower risk of infection. I know you’ve said your periods aren’t regular so maybe ask for some advice from EPU as to when is best for you to try again? Or if you feel happy to then just go for it! Best of luck x

@PurplePansy05 Glad you're doing well and sounds like you're being super productive, too!

So sorry for your loss, @QBecky 💕 You have to wait a couple of weeks after miscarriage before having sex (and until the bleeding has fully stopped, though I know that's difficult for you to know), as there's a risk of infection, but after that, it's up to you when you try again. I'd maybe ring the EPU, explain and ask for a scan to make sure you have no retained products and the miscarriage is definitely all over and then they might be able to advise on whether you're ok to start again? I personally waited for my period for dating purposes for any new pregnancy as I couldn't handle any uncertainty around the dates, but know others went straight for it - it's completely up to how you feel.

@Workingmama1 I'm glad your husband is doing ok, hope the effects of the GA have worn off now and he's a bit more himself. Must be nice to be out of total isolation now?

Started using my Ovia app again yesterday, it's madness how happy I was to be able to do so! It's saying my fertile week will be the end of next week/early the one after but I know it's almost certainly wrong as it has absolutely no idea about my cycle lengths - and nor do I at the moment really! So I think we'll just go for the every 2/3 days method as seems the most failsafe, I don't want to start temping etc just yet, it's only really our second month ever of TTC. Think husband is thrilled that's the plan 😂 Period is much heavier than usual but not too bad as I usually have really light periods anyway. Hoping it won't last too long but either way, am just glad it's here!

How is everyone today? xx

Thank you @Workingmama1.

@itssquidstella It's not unusual to have longer cycles after miscarriage. That's why the best thing to do is to have regular sex over a longer window if you're not tracking, otherwise you might be missing your opportunity. It's tricky because your cycles might be coming back to normal gradually, so each cycle might for example be a day or two shorter, but you can't predict that. This can easily take up to 6 months or so.

Thanks for the reassurance, everyone. I'm really hoping my cycle gets back to normal quickly; they were longer than normal after the mc in January so not sure what to expect, really!

@workingmama1 thankyou very much for your reply. So sorry I'm also very new to all of this. I don't have regular periods (infact I bleed 24/7) had only recently been discharged from gynaecologist as the bleeding had miraculously stopped (was pregnant but had no idea) I've had all the tests you could possibly think of regarding the bleeding but the only reason they gave was my body reacting to contraception (I've been on them all)... they recommended I came off everything for 6 months to see if the bleeding would settle itself out but I obviously fell pregnant beforehand. We weren't trying when I fell pregnant this time but we'd always wanted a third and since this we couldn't be anymore desperate for our third. I just dont have a clue regarding the dos and don'ts of everything and with the current pandemic I'm a little lost as to where to turn.

@skyblue20 yay for your period! Husbands op went ok thank you, but he's struggling with side effects of the general anesthetic which is odd as he's never had an issue before. He's home but feeling very sorry for himself.

Hi @qbecky, sorry for your loss. I think there is a mixture of approaches on TTC again, most seem to be waiting for their first period. But, apart from dating I don't think there is any reason to try straight away (as long as you have stopped bleeding and you are feeling emotionally and physically ready). I tried straight away but unfortunately seem to have had a CP, though couldn't say if it was related or bad luck.

Sounds loke a productive weekend @PurplePansy05! Hopefully the cramping will die down soon and that will be it for you...

Hi all, sorry to jump on but it wouldnt let me post my own threads?

So its very early days but I'm seeking advice in advance.
Had a missed miscarriage (found out at 9 weeks but had died at 7+1) and actually had the physical loss yesterday.
I'm wondering how soon anyone decided to TTC? I was hoping asap.
I'm very anxious about being pregnant again but eager.
It was my first miscarriage so was quite a shock as I had an early scan to confirm viability and do have 2 healthy children with the most simple pregnancies.
Good luck to all TTC!
Thankyou.

@SkyBlue20 Happy for you 😘 Bang on the same time as me after my first one. It was a long wait but such a relief!

I'm good, had a productive weekend, went for a walk and a socially distanced visit at my friends' garden. Decluttered two massive drawers in our bedroom and one with medicines etc. It feels good to refresh something, you know. It's the new era now, a fresh start. Next thing on the list, going through all my clothes to give some away for charity. Then a long-awaited haircut, hopefully soon! I'm on fire.

Feeling ok physically, although I am cramping a bit more than yesterday. No bleeding, just a bit of blood in urine, but that's all. At the moment it's not even period-like cramps, just feeling a bit sore down there, as if my uterus was shrinking. Which it probably is, I guess it is probably slightly inflamed and enlarged after an invasive procedure. How are you feeling today? Xx

@PurplePansy05 How’re you doing?

@itssquidstella as the other said, I think not bleeding after your MVA is fine - I think prolonged and heavy bleeding is the worry.

@Workingmama1 How’re you feeling? Did you do a test? How did your husband’s op go?

@WildflowerPetals I know what you mean about it being hard when you see people get pregnant despite doing the things they ‘shouldn’t’ - a member of my family drinks far too much and does all sort of drugs and fathered two kids (to the same mum, who also drank a fair bit but stopped for the most part when she found out she was pregnant) in the space of 19 months. It just seemed so easy for them despite all of that yet I followed every rule and it didn’t go our way. I adore his kids so hand on heart don’t begrudge them but it just feels unfair, doesn’t it?!
Yay to your period arriving, too - it’s such a relief, isn’t it?! Onwards for us!

@Smilingdonkey Sounds like you’ve been on a rollercoaster ride, glad you have had your negative now and you can start to move forward. Hope your partner’s Covid test comes back soon and is negative!

Sending love, @Threnody. I think things like that will affect us all unexpectedly and in different ways for a while but it’s perfectly normal and it’s ok to feel happy for someone but also a bit sad, too.

How have everyone’s weekends been? Xx

Off to catch up but just had to say... MY PERIOD ARRIVED TODAY! 🥳 I’m absolutely thrilled - and glad I can explain why I felt SO low yesterday! That’s five weeks and two days post-MVA. I don’t know my cycles for sure but thought it was about five weeks so it seems to be on time... so here we go all over again!