Starting TTC again after missed miscarriage

@workingmama was you on the Christmas babies thread? I can't remember. Sorry to you.

Hope everyone else is ok. I'm rubbish at remembering who has posted what when I'm typing

Congratulations @Ranoutofgoodnames, I remember you from the other thread, I've got everything crossed for you!

That sounds really confusing @rosiejess91. I had similar last week on my first cycle (faint positives Saturday to Thursday) spoke to the EPU who said it was a new pregnancy and test in a week but AF arrived on Friday (6 weeks ppat MMC). Tested on Sunday and negative so assumed it was a chemical. But the others are right, the miscarriage could have messed up your cycles so hopefully you ovulated later than you thought and this one is sticky 🤞

My husband is still suffering from his op and feeling terrible, made him ring the hospital tonight as his temp was 38, he's now off to get a covid test tomorrow. Work has been horrifically busy too so all that has distracted me a bit!

@Starfish762 and @ew1990 I've got a girl too, she has been a good distraction and this experience has made me realise how lucky I am to have her. She starts her settling in sessions at nursery the week after next (DHs covid test dependant!) and I'm not sure who will find it harder when she starts full time, me or her! Seeing her run around like a nutter all day has kept me smiling

@Ranoutofgoodnames congratulations! So pleased to hear some happy news, sending positive vibes your way - I’m sure it’ll be just fine (but I can only imagine the anxiety you’re feeling!)

@starfish762 I think I'm going insane!

My AF returned just over 4 weeks after my MMC, was glad not to wait as well, as it's hard enough going through that and then not knowing when you can try again.
The OH just doesn't quite seem to get it, tells me to stop buying more tests and just wait and see, but when it's your own body, it's not an easy ride waiting. Not knowing what's going on with your own body is just crazy.

Hiya @Ranoutofgoodnames I know what that's like, I've fully been expecting to bleed again over the last week. I hope you've got a sticky bean! You deserve one x

Hi @ranoutofgoodnames, congratulations! I’m so thrilled for you, sending all sorts of love and positive vibes, hope this one sticks 💕 How many weeks are you now? I can only imagine how difficult and anxiety-ridden it is, do chat to us if it helps!

@RosieJess91 Hanging on for another week sounds like a good plan - should hopefully get some proper answers by then 🤞🏼

@Starfish762 Glad your period arrived and that it didn’t take too long! I’m excited for us all to start trying again, hoping for some BFPs soon 💕

Hello! I met some of you lovely ladies on the mmc thread on the miscarriage forum. My period returned about four weeks after surgical management and then somewhat unbelievably I got a positive pregnancy test a few days ago. Early days and I am terrified it is a chemical. Have had blood tests to confirm it and having another one on Monday. Also taking progesterone pessaries. Who knows if this beautiful little bean will stick but 🤞

So I am currently not ttc but still looking for a lot of support as I desperately check on the hour every hour that I haven’t started my period xx

@RosieJess91
Oh I really feel for you, how bloody confusing :( Maybe try not to test again if you can for a week or so, keep busy etc, and then go from there? What a head f*#k!

I came on my period today exactly 4 weeks after MVA (although very light atm), so I feel relief that I can hopefully start trying again next week. When I joined this post & read people waiting 5,6,7 weeks after MC for their first period I got so down for a couple of days, so I hope this reassures people still waiting that it does come sooner for some. I’ll update again if it tails off, just in case.

I think I'm going to try my best to avoid testing for at least a week and try again. It's been over a week since my small bleed, and I would have assumed a CP would have stopped showing up, but maybe not. Who knows. I'm going to try and be patient and just hope for the best.

Some tests have been cheapies off good old eBay (6 positives, a few negatives), some were Tesco ones that immediately came up positive, and then I read they're pretty good at giving false positives. I've used Clear Blue (2 positive, 1 negative), cheap ones from Sainsbury's (1 positive, 1 negative) and Asda (negative)... It was the cheap ones from eBay that I dipped 2 in the same cup, 1 negative, 1 positive. 🤷‍♀️

@ew1990w I really tried to detach myself from this last pregnancy as I just was so anxious about something going wrong (I was convinced I was going to have a MMC...and I did) and tbh, it didn't really work - it's so hard as obviously it's all consuming with having to watch what you eat, what you drink, what you generally do, how you feel, etc etc etc.

@PurplePansy05 Very true about the stats and already being on the wrong side of them. I remember reading that your chance of a MC after seeing a heartbeat at seven weeks was like 2% and thinking that should reassure me... I'm in that 2%. You just cannot control it, can you? I'm a firm believer in what will be, will be - I just need to remind myself sometimes.
Your cake looks amazing!

@RosieJess91 Yes, that could be true - you may have ovulated later than you thought. I guess the only thing to do is to keep waiting and try another test but I know that's so much easier said than done. Hope you get some answers soon xx

How's everyone doing? I'm super busy with work, stressful day - not how a Friday should be! Looking forward to the weekend though and a big glass of wine tonight (am enjoying it while I can - that non-alcoholic stuff is rubbish 😂)

@PurplePansy05 that looks amazing.

Re age, I'm 40. I had my first baby at 35, my second at 37 and my third at 39. I'm classed as a geriatric mother! If I do manage #4 I will be 41 when it is born (I probably would have been just 41 with the baby I lost).

@RosieJess91 it sounds very confusing. If you were 6 weeks, a digi one should pick it up, but if only 4, it might not. You could try a frer, as they are more sensitive, but if you're picking up a chemical pregnancy that won't help. Which tests gave you different results at the same time? Pink dye tests are generally more reliable than blue ones apparently.

@RosieJess91 Unfortunately you have to wait a bit longer (I know it's not easy). It might be the case it's a chemical pregnancy, your description sounds very similar to my second early MC. However, if you put it into context that you're not long after a MC and you may have ovulated later then you have to wait and test again. I'd wair another 5-7 days and see what happens then, test with FMU.

@Sakura54 You asked for the photo of the pb+choc loaf, here's what's left of mine 😂 I just had a slice with strawberry jam for breakfast, I'm not even sorry cause it fills me up till lunchtime 😁

@SkyBlue20 not all different, I could (and have) dipped the same brand stick into the same pot and come out with different results. I had 2 Clear Blue dye tests come up positive, but really faint, just about visible, but a digital one negative. Surely heading towards 6 weeks, that would be positive by now?
Someone else mentioned that maybe because of the MMC I ovulated late and somehow picked up positives really early, so I'm really only 4 weeks now... don't understand it. 😫

@purple I never really thought about it like that. But thats good advice thank you

@SkyBlue20 I'll be 34 later this year, DH is 37. There is a difference in statistics after 35, yes, but statistics are just that, numbers. We're under 35 and already on the "wrong" side of the statistics. It's meaningless. A successful pregnancy is a pot of luck and we have to keep trying, potentially with some medical help if needed.

Regarding pretending you're not pregnant till 12 weeks in the next pregnancy. I tried that approach and detached myself as much as possible. Trying not to think about the pregnancy is mentally exhausting in itself and only adds stress and anxiety. Besides, 12 weeks really isn't a magic guarantee everything will be ok. I think the only way to get through it is to take each day as it comes, without overthinking what's going to happen tomorrow.

I hope so for all of us. But I Think I'd have to pretend I wasn't pregnant till the 12 week scan if you know what I mean. I got so excited this time for another baby that I can't deal with the heartache again

@RosieJess91sorry for your loss, and for what you’re going through now. I only joined this group very recently but have found it a real comfort, I’m sure you will too.

@ew1990 I also have a girl already which has helped the grief process hugely, even when I’ve felt sad or down I remind myself just how lucky I am to have her, it certainly made this whole process slightly easier in that sense. She’ll be 3 next weekend so I also now worry about the age gap coz we wanted 2-3 year gap, but hey life doesn’t always work out how you plan & that’s ok. My husbands cousin sent me a lovely letter after our loss (old school I know ) and it said ‘it is a difficult lesson to learn as you get older that your idea of how you imagined your life & relationships to be, is not necessarily how life turns out, however it doesn’t mean that what happens is not good.’ It really struck a chord with me & made me realise I have to accept whatever happens in life because it’s happened. As I said the other day one tiny positive out of all of this mess is how strong we’ll come out of it. It’s incredible what women can endure & come out the other side.

To add in on the age chat. I’m 34 now & my husband is almost 39 and it’s never worried me about that. Maybe I’m naive, but I just see it as we weren’t in a position to have children any sooner than we did, so we just have to not worry about it. Long as we’re all healthy & doing everything we can, we should all be fine & hopefully get our rainbow babies xx

@ew1990 Ahh lovely - almost three is a nice age (hard work but nice!) Hope your TTC journey isn’t as long this time and you have thar BFP soon 💕

@skyblue20 at first I wasn't sure if I wanted too. Didn't want it to seem like I was replacing this baby but as time goes by.

Yes I have 1 DD she will be 3 in November. Took us just over 2 years to fall pregnant with her. Didn't track ovulation though. Shes made this easier and I realise just how lucky I am to have her

@RosieJess91 Sounds like all of the symptoms are there! Is it different types of tests showing different results?

@PurplePansy05 I’m 33, too - turned 33 during the whole miscarriage saga - and although I know we still have plenty of time, I too want more than one child and ideally I want a good few years between them so I also feel the pressures of time. Before all this I was like ‘Pah, the 35 thing is a load of rubbish, most people are fine after that’ and now I’m worrying about it because if this can happen at 32 and my odds are higher after 35... I need to just not think about it.

@mrsAndeke I’ve heard of people saying their periods have been lighter after MC and other saying heavier, I think almost everything is normal at this point!

@Sakura54 I find it reassuring, too! Good old sperm, just hanging around, waiting!

@ew1990 welcome and I’m so sorry for your loss - it really upsets me just how many women go through this, it’s awful! Glad everything got sorted quickly for you and you got your negative. Are you planning on trying again right away? Do you have any children?

@AlisonLew15 Sorry to hear AF is here. Nothing different here except maybe not focusing on my so called fertile week as much and just DTD consistently as a bit unsure as to when I’ll ovulate. How about you?

AF in full flow now. CD1 we meet again. Anyone trying anything different this cycle?

Can I join? MMC on the 23rd of May. Medical management on the 28th and just had a negative test this morning.

Ive never used OPKs before but just ordered some ready for after my first AF.

So sorry you ladies are also going or have been through this

@PurplePansy05 That sounds yummy and doesn’t require eggs which isn’t always easy to find these days. Not that I have enough ingredients. If anyone makes it, show us a pic lol!

I try not to think about what’s happened tbh, as of course it hurts. I could sit and dwell on sooo many reasons why this is so unfair, the way I felt when I found out and the stress of arranging my MVA, but there’s just no point. All we can do now is move on, look to the future and believe that we will get our rainbows eventually. We have all been unlucky to have a supposedly rare thing happen to us, but can only get stronger from this.

@Threnody No need to feel guilty. Your heart wants what it wants. My situation is different in the sense that I have 1 DC and although it somewhat lightens the blow of MC, at the same time it’s caused me hurt. I’ve said this a few times before but I had to accept the fact that there’s going to be a big age gap now and you are more at risk if it’s been 5 years since your last child so I’m running out of time. I’m also scared I won’t be able to give him a sibling! I was even thinking of getting sterilised at the same time as my ELCS, but now have to start from scratch!

That’s true @skyblue20 Even if AF comes on time, can’t really rely on our apps to predict our FW for now. I do like the fact that sperm can last up to 5 days though lol. I find it reassuring.

I have my first AF since my MMC, and it is so light, barely filling a pad/but the blood is always there when I wipe. I normally have quite heavy periods so I'm just really confused, I do have some cramps and bloating, and it's bright red so I know it's not IB (a long with BFN) just so bizarre and hoping it won't hinder me in TTC! Just all over the place today 🙃

@Threnody You've just given me hope too. I'm 33 and felt the time is running out, certainly to have two that I always wanted. Who knows, though. Anything is possible.

Short LP in itself does not cause miscarriages. It may lead to a failure to implant as simply there isn't enough time for the fertilised egg to implant, or it's a symptom/result of low progesterone - which might indeed cause miscarriages since the lining isn't thick enough to support the new pregnancy. Xx