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Original poster

Trying for a kid Aged 20?

62 replies

rosielou99 · 14/05/2020 21:06

I was just looking for some advice and insight
I really want a baby and so does my partner. We are looking to take the next big step in our relationship and we are ready to try for a baby. I understand it comes with pros and also very miniscule cons at 20. My family would probably be shocked as they have never seen me as the kid type and they would be happy and also the same for my partner. We also both still live at home but moving out would be something we could do anytime we have just not done it yet. I was just wondering whether anyone here feels that 20 is too young and any experiences from anyone here having a child at this age
Thanks

OP posts:
LovingLola · 14/05/2020 21:25

Just don’t.

Pinkblueberry · 14/05/2020 21:24

We are looking to take the next big step in our relationship

Having a baby is not the next big step if you don’t even live together. How long have you been together?

majesticallyawkward · 14/05/2020 21:22

*right place. Not tiny

majesticallyawkward · 14/05/2020 21:21

You don't even live together, your relationship isn't in the tiny place. You say you stay together often but that's so different from living with someone, you can't just go home when they annoy you. And a baby is a huge strain on a relationship, it would be naive to rush into it without having a very secure home first.

Babies don't come with 'miniscule cons'. They come with massive stress, sleep deprivation, arguments, financial strains and a whole host of other things you can't even imagine before you have one. Not that you don't love them, but it's so much more than that and it never stops.

live your life a little first and try living together and see how that goes.

KateColx · 14/05/2020 21:18

@rosielou99 I went through a phase with an ex partner when I was 20, we both felt like we were ready for a baby but we really really weren't. Honestly you've got so much time to settle down and have a family, enjoy your twenties and having no responsibility. Go on amazing holidays, save for your first home, kick start your career. Just enjoy it, I'm 30 now and married (thankfully not to who I was with at 20 haha) but these past 10 years have set me up perfectly to start a family ☺️☺️ x

Rebelwithallthecause · 14/05/2020 21:17

I’d definitely recommend at least doing some amazing things you otherwise won’t be able to do when you have a baby.

I’m 34 now and still reminisce about the wonderful child free experience we had

I don’t regret having children but I am glad I didn’t have them in early 20’s

For me I would have been happy if they came anytime from 27 onwards but everyone in my social group waited until 30’s

The odd acquaintance I have met who had them at 20 and early 20’s wouldnt do it that early if they had the choice again

Original poster
rosielou99 · 14/05/2020 21:13

thankyou midimitch

OP posts:
Viviennemary · 14/05/2020 21:13

Yes of course It's too young. You haven't got a house. You haven't lived together. Try and do things in a logical order.

sweetkitty · 14/05/2020 21:13

Personally I would wait at least 5 years, move in together make a home together. Go on some holidays just the two of you, get some savings built up. There is no rush and 25 is still young.

Original poster
rosielou99 · 14/05/2020 21:13

I do see what you mean here. But out of lockdown we spent 5/6 nights a week with eachother at eachothers houses and we've done well so far

OP posts:
MidiMitch · 14/05/2020 21:13

Please God wait a bit. You might be in love with the idea of a baby but not the reality of a screaming, teething child and no sleep. Kick start your career, move in together, enjoy your youth and THEN have a baby (which is amazing but only when you are really ready)

EvolvingElle · 14/05/2020 21:09

You don’t even live together yet.

You have no idea if you’ll love it or drive each other crazy and realise you’re incompatible.

Trying for a baby when you’re both still living at home is utter madness, regardless of your age.

A baby is a person that deserves a good, stable, start...you’re not there yet, not even close.

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