TTC Cycle 12 - SMEP

Yep I feel like I'm doing another degree with all of this @chillichutneysarnie! I have a scientific background so I also find it pretty interesting

Yeah I would recommend the AMH - I found it good value in terms of giving me another piece of information and for reassurance. My IVF clinic certainly seem to find it helpful - they even did a repeat when they were getting some inconclusive findings on my ovarian scans and it helped them to work things out.

Haha good idea about digging for the 'not-so-glamorous' side of things with my more fertile friends, I'll try that one! Hope you're both having a good weekend and enjoying the sun xx

@Jh2019 thank you! I get what you mean about passing the time, got to have some milestones otherwise you'll go mad. I think lockdown being lifted will help a lot with sanity as well.

Thanks for your thoughts on AMH, I've been reading up a bit more and it seems to be another regional thing, someone wrote a review about our local clinic saying they refused to test for it at any point. I think I might go ahead with a private one after I get my FSH result - just learned how the two hormones can be linked.
Lots more to learn, jeez the amount of googling I've done over the last year I thought I knew it all! It's actually quite interesting and looking forward to some answers.

Ugh I know the feeling about the friends thing, practically everyone I know has had a baby in the last year so it's been arduous and I've had moments of extreme bitterness, which I've got over mainly by staying off social media. Better to see them in person and they can tell you about all the crap bits (make sure you dig for those) 😀

Ah that's weird that it was the same for you this cycle @LSL0708, sorry you were kept waiting too - it's so frustrating when you know it's on the way because of negative tests but it takes so long to arrive. That must have been so tough to hear about your friend at that time too, it can be really crushing can't it. Same happened with one of my closest friends (she told me in January) and I'm seeing her for the first time this weekend. It will be great to see her but it's so hard trying to hold back the feelings of jealousy and sadness, when I know I should just be pleased for her. She at least knows my situation so we can be open about it - does your friend know about yours?

Sounds a good idea to ask for a rough timescale so you know what to expect, hope it moves quickly for you. Glad you've found a local clinic with a good reputation, that's great . We are with abcivf, who offer the lowest cost treatment in the country as long as you fit their criteria - I really like them and can't seem to find any catch, their success rates and reviews are really good and I'm pleased with the choice so far. There is a local clinic branch where we can have most of our scans and just have to travel a bit further for the egg collection and transfer. Thanks for your well wishes, will definitely keep you posted and hope it will be useful for you to hear about the different stages as they happen for me.

Hi @chillichutneysarnie, welcome and good to hear from you . Glad it's been useful to read about our experiences over the past months, although sorry it means you're also in this position! It is definitely true that taking those first steps in speaking with the doctor and getting tests done helps a massive amount - you finally feel like your issues are being recognized and investigated, and I found having the tests and next steps to focus on really helps to pass the time.

Haha my husband is the same, I'm the one that does all the talking and organizing so I've had to push him in the right direction a few times. Good luck with the tests, and I hope of course that it happens for you naturally soon and you find you don't need any more investigations!

I had my AMH tested, but I had it done privately so I'm not sure if I ever would have got it on the NHS otherwise. It was quite cheap, £50 I think. I think on the NHS they use your pelvic ultrasound as a first port of call to get an idea of ovarian reserve, and so AMH might be something they only do later (if at all) as an extra measure when preparing for IVF - @LSL0708 might be able to confirm on that. Take care and let us know how you get on!

I've just read through this whole thread and wanted to pop in and say hi, it's been interesting hearing your experiences of this very non-fun game so far and I can relate so much to what you've been saying (although I'm only just starting my investigations). It's been helpful to know what to expect as this goes on.
I couldn't believe how much just speaking to the GP has calmed me down mentally, it's like it's half their problem too now so it's a massive weight off to even have spoken to someone about it. And managed to get my husband to speak to his GP this morning too so his SA will be happening soon.
(Had to laugh as he turned to me while on the phone to the Dr and whispered "am I doing it right?" 😂)

Has anyone had their AMH tested? Apologies, I read through the thread but can't remember now. I'm wondering if it's one of the 'usual' tests at any point as if not I might buy a private one.

Enough from me for now, look forward to your updates soon and keeping fingers crossed for everyone!

No worries @LSL0708 yes I had a lovely Easter weekend thanks, finally met up with family which was nice! Though seems an age ago now. Hope yours was good too.

Glad to hear that you've been feeling better having ditched the OPKs this cycle. Admittedly I've never managed it, because I feel the need to know when I ovulated so I know roughly when to expect AF - but it probably would be good for me if I did have a break! I had a weird cycle this one, 30 days overall with ovulation on day 17, which is unusual for me (usually 26-day cycle with ov day 14/15). At least I knew to expect it late, otherwise I might have been getting my hopes up...it arrived this morning, feel a bit low as usual but dealing with it much better knowing we can go ahead with treatment soon.

My appointments went well thanks - the fluid spots weren't visible on the repeat scan, so they think it may have been a temporary thing specific to that cycle stage. If they come back during treatment, they will just keep an eye on them and see what happens. So we've been given the official go ahead for treatment now We had everything explained about the process, loads of info to take in but just about got my head around it. Next step is a treatment consultation in a couple of weeks where we learn about injecting the meds and get them ordered so that we can start from the arrival of my next AF in May.

I'm guessing AF may have arrived for you since your message too? Hope you're coping ok if so, and also fingers crossed that your referral happens quickly and you can also get started soon. Do you know which clinic you will go for? xx

Sorry @LSL0708 that your appointment wasn't as useful as hoped, that's really disappointing after counting down to it for such a long time I know what you mean, it makes you wonder what the wait was for doesn't it? But on the plus side, pleased that your results are normal and that you're on the path to IVF now. Did they give you any estimation of how long the wait might be?

Definitely know how you feel with the down days, sometimes they take you by surprise and it can be difficult to keep the positive thinking going. Hope you're feeling a bit better this weekend? You're right, we both still have the chance it could happen naturally, and IVF as a back-up, but sometimes that fear does creep in. I'm scared about the first cycle failing because I'm pinning a lot on it, but I know the stats show that most women need more than one cycle. It's so hard to have the right dose of optimism while still not setting expectations too high.

Thanks for the well wishes, will let you know how my appointments go this week. She said the fluid spots could just be something temporary that might go away later in the cycle. Or, they could be a permanent feature that could grow bigger in response to IVF meds - which could be a concern if they impinge on the uterus and affect implantation. So that's why she wants another look to see if they are still there this week. Really hoping not! She didn't see them on the first scan, so fingers crossed... xx

Hi @LSL0708, no problem at all - sorry you had a bad few days. But the exercise plan sounds really positive, hope that's still going well and helping to take your mind off things I agree, I find running great for that.

The second ultrasound was better thanks, in that there was a much higher follicle count this time that matched my AMH reading. So that's a relief! However, this time she spotted a new thing - a couple of fluid spots near the uterine lining, which she wants to check out again at a different cycle stage. So I'm back for a third scan next week! Oh well, I guess it's good they are being thorough and hopefully will have a good picture of everything before going ahead with the next steps.

Wishing you all the very best for your appointment tomorrow, great that it's finally here. Thinking of you and hoping you get positive news and are able to move forward. Do let me know how it goes xx

Not at all @Emilou89, negative feelings are par for the course with TTC and I feel exactly the same most days, dreading announcements from those around me which as you say is not at all how I was before all of this! All you can do is try your best to pick yourself up and focus on your own path, but it's hard. I've heard things about grapefruit juice too, I actually quite like the taste lol but never actively tried it for TTC - certainly can't hurt to give it a go if you can stomach it! Where are you in your cycle now, how is the SMEP going if you're at that stage?

My AF arrived on Friday, no great shock but always tough. Helps me to know IVF is on the horizon in a more concrete way now though. I had my first ultrasound scan with the clinic on Monday, it was kind of mixed news as everything looked healthy on the whole but my egg count was much lower than expected based on my AMH blood result, and was borderline to be considered as 'good' ovarian reserve. They did a repeat AMH test and it came out just as good as last time (in fact slightly better), so they are having me back in for another scan later this week to see if they get a different count at a different time of my cycle. Hoping they match up better this time, it's got me a bit worried as so far all of my results have come out normal and this was a bit of a surprise. Will keep you posted!

Hope you are ok too @LSL0708, did AF arrive as expected last weekend?

Thank you for the lovely welcome @jh2019. I've re read my message this morning I was clearly having a pity party day. Sorry for the negative post on what seems like a lovely thread of people!
I really hate the resentment side of it all because before all this that wasn't me in the slightest. It was pure excitement. Now I spend my life reading into my friends messages or pictures to try and suss out if they are going to break any news soon haha what have I become lol.
What stages is everyone at now? Anyone yet to start the smep this month or anyone in 2ww?
The month I fell pregnant last year I'd drank loads of Grapefruit juice (how people enjoy that is beyond me haha) so I thought about re stocking that and I've read about pomegranate too so might try that alongside smep!

Hi @LSL0708, sorry you had a BFN - though I guess they say never out until AF shows...so keeping my fingers crossed on the off-chance. And if it does arrive, hope it wasn't before today and you're back into a more normal LP length. Not long until that next appointment now, hopefully that is something to focus on and I would think you'll definitely be exploring IVF properly at that one. Hope they get the wheels in motion for you and that there isn't too much of a wait.

Good idea to have a break from OPKs too - I've never actually managed that, mostly because I like the rough idea it gives me on when to expect AF, but it is definitely good to try a 'relaxed' cycle every so often. Looking back, when I insisted on SMEP and was temping everyday, it made things quite stressful - so I am definitely a bit more relaxed (relatively!) nowadays. But agree, of course never actually manage to switch off from it!

I'm almost 30, and my DH is 31. We keep being told we are young in fertility terms and have plenty of time, shouldn't worry, it could still happen in the next few years etc. But I find that a bit irritating rather than comforting - like we would be taken more seriously if time wasn't on our side anymore. We've been together since school, and it's the right time for us in every way, so I don't think we should be encouraged to wait it out just because technically it could happen naturally sometime in the next few years. Our life is on hold really, it's all we want. I think it's easy for doctors to encourage patience when they've probably not been in the situation themselves! Understand you feeling the pressure more with your DH being slightly older, easy for me to say but try not to worry about people's perceptions - I know loads of people with dads who were in their 40s (including my DH's dad), I think it's pretty common and most people don't bat an eyelid. But equally it does add that extra reason not to want to just 'wait it out'.

Welcome @Emilu89, good to hear from you. So sorry to hear about the journey you've had, and your miscarriage - that must have been devastating particularly after trying so long. I would say it's definitely not too soon to see the GP, it certainly can't hurt and you're past the year mark. Even with the miscarriage I would hope they would consider the basic tests for you and your partner at this stage. It really helped me at the time to feel like we were taking some practical steps forward, even though after all of that it remains unexplained.

Totally with you on the feelings around others falling pregnant so easily - it can be very hard not to feel resentful. I have several friends that started trying so long after me and fell the first month, a couple that are now thinking about trying for their second, those that fall pregnant on a drunken holiday or night out while I'm beating myself up about a single glass of wine. I switched off a programme the other night where someone was joking about how they'd 'accidentally' ended up with four kids from a very on-off relationship. It's so tough! It must be really hard with your daughter asking all the time, but hang in there and know it's in no way your fault - when you do get there, she will be even more excited to welcome her sibling after the long wait.

Keep me posted both of you, fingers crossed for us all and look forward to the days we can share our good news xx

Hi Everyone, what a journey you've had. Ttc is so bl00dy hard. I am so fed up. So I hope you don't mind me joining. I am very fortunate that I have a DD age 6. I had a miscarriage in Oct 2020 after trying for 11 months. In those 11 months I thought I was going to have a breakdown to be honest so to then miscarry at 12.5 weeks, it was like another kick in the teeth.
I'm at the stage now where I don't really know what to do, I don't know if it's too soon to see the GP for tests or how long to stick it out.
Like you @LSL0708 I'm 31 and my DH is 43 so I'm subconsciously wary of our ages. Especially if it takes another year. We've been healthy eating and we excersise regualry. Plan was to do SMEP this month but haven't even had a positive opk yet on cd17. I'm just so sick of it. That it's so hard yet I've seen so many people who don't have particularly healthy lifestyles or are using contraceptives or even someone I know who's partner had a vasectomy fall pregnant so easily. It feels like I'm being punished for something. And the worst bit I feel like I've failed my DD. From the age of 3 she's requested a brother or sister for birthdays and Xmas. I wish I had started trying sooner. I wish for us all that the whole process wasn't so emotionally draining and painful.
We will get our end results ladies.
Good luck to all.

Hi @LSL0708, sorry it's taken me so long to reply! Work has been so busy and time has gone quite fast this month. How did it go speaking to your doctor after your short LP and unusual AF? Hopefully you're well into this cycle now and feeling a bit better? Let me know how you're getting on.

AF did arrive for me as expected, and now just coming to end of this fertile window (I think, anyway - looked like I was heading for a later ovulation this cycle and then my sticks ran out, so not entirely sure of timing this month!).

They didn't suggest any other tests at my appointment, as I think I've had them all - I had the AMH blood test to check egg levels a while back (as an add-on when OH had his semen analysis), and that came back as normal. So it really is just IVF left - and we are leaning more and more towards going private. I know it sounds impatient given that we are not too far off the NHS option, but I'm just not sure I can cope with another 6 or 7 cycles before even receiving the form to sign. The post from the hospital also seems incredibly slow, and I worry that even September is optimistic by the time we have received and sent back forms and secured the funds...

We have booked initial consultations with abc, and the first one (an ultrasound) is a week on Monday, so we're going to see what we think of them, and if all good possibly would be ready to go ahead in May.

If I remember rightly I think you've been trying slightly longer than me, do you know when you would be eligible for IVF? Is it after 2 years of trying in your region too?

Take care and hope you're enjoying some sunshine this weekend, it's been lovely here today xx

Oh that's frustrating to have an LP so much shorter than usual @LSL0708...weird, I'm sure it will be a one off and hopefully back to 11 or more next time! Glad you felt a bit better over the weekend, and now here we are already at another one - hope you are holding out ok

I finally did get my appointment on Wednesday, it went well but mostly just confirmed everything we already know - i.e. that we've had all the tests we can and our only option will be IVF at 2 years. He was positive about our chances and said we should keep going, and said there isn't really a waiting list at the 2-year mark, just the time it takes to sign the form and book you into your chosen clinic. So we could be in for Sep/Oct in theory. That still just feels so far away though...we are still thinking about going for one of the cheaper private options in the meantime, but if we leave it much longer we may as well then just wait until the September and have it for free, so tricky to decide. Going to give it another month and maybe see how we feel I think, a bit more time to digest the options will hopefully help. My AF is due today, sure I can feel it on the way so not got much hope. If it's going to come, kind of wish it would hurry up so I can enjoy some guilt-free Friday night wine!

Take care and enjoy the weekend xx

Oh no, so sorry to hear that AF arrived early @LSL0708, that really sucks Hope you're doing ok, take it easy this weekend and look after yourself. That's a shame about the short luteal phase, how long do you think it was going by your OPK? Hopefully it's just one weird cycle and it will be longer again next month.

Remind me again when your next appointment is, was it March? Yes hopefully that will help us both make sense of all the IVF stuff, let's see what we find out and try and keep focused on that path forward xx

Hi @LSL0708, I'm ok thanks - but we've had a bit of a silly rollercoaster since my last message! After booking and paying for the private appointment, the NHS rang back and reinstated our appointment just a week later than it was originally going to be. It should have been today, but then got a call last night cancelling it again . Not so bad this time, only moved to next Wednesday, but finding it tricky to keep rearranging at work, as they can't even give us a time to expect the call - just a window between 9 and 4! Luckily managed to get a refund before we had the private one, and just hoping now that our NHS one goes ahead on Wednesday and we don't get messed around again.

I'm due AF in about a week, so not too long after you this time actually. You're right, it only takes the once in theory, so don't worry too much about how much DTD - the pressure to keep going to a schedule is tough month after month! And I really don't blame you for breaking the drink ban, a bit of wine won't hurt - I caved a little last night too after a difficult day at work and the clinic cancelling on us. Good luck with the dry February though

I did do a bit more research on IVF, and I actually even went to a webinar about 'abcivf' recently, which seems to focus on so-called 'mild' IVF for a lower price at various places across the country. They seem to have similar success rates to the 'traditional', and say there's no catch, but I don't really understand why other places would use a more severe protocol with more medications if it had no benefit. So yep, still a bit confused and overwhelmed by the whole thing!

Hope you're doing ok and fingers crossed for you that AF doesn't arrive next week. Agree it becomes easier just not to get hopes up after so many disappointments, but let's try our best to keep that glimmer of positivity xx